I got severely bullied in school and I'm in my early twenties

>>18396121
Get martial art lessons, helps with feeling Safe.
There is not much else you can do, except maybe meeting with psychotherapists to deal with your PTSD (post traumatic syndrome disorders).
Social anxiety could get better if you get out of your comfort zone (pushing your limits). Every day a little victory is what you need to win the war against those invasive and negative thoughts

>>18396152
Thing is I'm a girl so I could never defend myself against a full grown man, and pepper spray is illegal in my country.

>>18396156
Get a pepper spray anyways, if it gets confiscated buy another one, it's like 5$.
Also, I can promess you you can beat a guy with almost any decent martial art. You're not as helpless as people would love to make you think you are.
Get to a psychotherapist. I do not know your country but there are always competent people at schools, universities who studied hard to deal with the issues you currently have, and it's free.

>>18396121
Speak to your doctor, sounds like you've been left with crippling anxiety

>>18396200
Hah, it's a illegal, as in it is a crime to be in possession of pepper spray here, can't even buy it anywhere

>>18396201

All they want to do is put me on antidepressants and go to therapy, and those things make little difference.

>>18396121
>>18396156

In terms of raw strength, you'll probably never be on par with men. Thing is, the bulk of martial arts focus on how to beat people who are bigger/stronger than you are with skill.

Judo is great for that sort of thing specifically, and you've actually got an advantage for throwing people if you're shorter than them or have a lower center of mass; both of which you probably have if you're a girl.

Aikido can be good if you find a school that isn't brainwashed by the new agey magic.

Krav Maga is a good option, but it'll take longer to be able to defend yourself with striking than grappling as a female (lower bone density= longer training to be able to hit someone without breaking your hand).

I'm a guy (now 24) that was bullied relentlessly from 4th-12th grade. I've always been kind of reserved and smarter than most of my peers, which painted a target on my back. I dealt with it then with escapism; video games, drugs, etc. It conditioned me to hate and fear people.

I got into martial arts and overcame the threat of physical violence, but I don't like hurting people and I wasn't willing to fight in response to verbal abuse. So, I decided I'd just pretend no one else existed.

Spiraling depression ensued, then my Dad got engaged and I met my step-sister. Here was someone who actually enjoyed my company, who had the same shitty sense of humor as me, who treated me with respect and compassion. Girl literally restored my faith in humanity.

Because of her I was able to see that there are actually decent people out there. I've slowly worked on overcoming the anxiety and depression, and I've managed to make a small circle of friends for the first time since I was in elementary school.

I know it's hard, but this life might be all we've got. If you can find enough resolve to keep trying, you'll find people. I can't say it will be immediate, or devoid of pain; but you can do it.

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>>18396266
Have you considered giving yourself to men SEXUALLY?

>>18396121
>>18396152
this but in addition go to the gym and get jacked
most martial arts are pretty useless irl if you dont have the strength to back them up (that being said the whole thimg about martial arts to to aid in beating someone stronger than you)

also , get in a fight
i used to be like that and then one day i boxed the guy piasing me off
i got my assed kicked sure, but it doesnt hurt as much as you would think and im not afraid of it anymore

>>18396299
I don't know, I've read articles about how martial arts can never really prepare you for real life self-defence, and how even a black belt in karate ended up getting beaten up in a park at night because he got cocky and thought he'd be safe because of his skills

I did some karate as a teenager, I could look into it again but I'm doubtful

Thanks for the advice :) I hope I can meet some decent people

>>18396303
What's that got to do with anything?

>>18396311
I'm not a confrontational kind of person, even with people urging me to fight with another person who just punched me, I would just stand there and take it.

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>>18396121
treat people how you want to be treated.
>like for like
its not school anymore. if people start to fuck with you: teach them rule number 1. dont fuck with me, rule 2. never forget rule 1.
you have to learn to stick up for yourself or continue to live under a rock its your choice.
>im a lot older than you i learnt this lesson when was a kid...

>>18396121
>>18396156
Working out or even martial arts will help with your anxiety. You wont be perfectly safe from assault but you will be able to think calmly and assess your situation so that you dont shut down just from other people being around you.
This is coming from a skinny white guy who was bullied a lot in middle school and then in high school so your results may vary.
I would also recommend the book Mind Over Mood which is about dealing with Emotional Intensity which is what you are dealing with

The only example that springs to mind of people assaulting other random people is the "happy slapping" garbage. Those people should have their insides turned to the outside. There is practically zero chance that anyone is going to fuck you up for no reason, they have no motive to.

You don't have to do karate. You could do some martial arts that are actually helpful like judo, jiu jitsu, tung soon do. Karate is the worst

>>18396121
>>18396121
You can't get back to a normal state if you don't have the certainty you can flip à *stranger* on the mat and maybe run away. Self-defence is what you need. Strength in mind and body

>>18396200
Pepper spray is crap, get this thingy used to clean electro-valves. Its legal and much better effect.

>>18396121
I'm one of those random people in the crowd who would more than likely physically assault you or stick a needle in your arm. To avoid people like me, try getting a friend to walk with you to places. It would be harder to get away with beating two people up.

>>18396121

How often have you been assaulted since you left school?

>>18397828
Once physically, several times verbally

>>18396266
Therapy does the world fo difference. Go do it. You will feel better honestly, but you need to try.

>>18398258
Any time... SEXUALLY?

>>18398258
boo fucking hoo. deal with it. Therapy is a scam, don't listen to those people and waste money. People I know who go to therapy STILL go to it after years. I got my ass beat because I was a skinny manlet shit in school. I started fighting back, dirty. They stopped. I grew up as normal even a little more popular. Being a girl is NOT an escape

Get a fidget spinner

excuse* not escape

>>18396121
Get help. It might cost a bit but see a psychiatrist, see a therapist. I resisted anti-depressants until college. I've been on welbutrin for a year and it helped me gain my confidence back, just last month I went back and got put on a seratonin booster and it has already started to change my life. I go whole days without having a suicidal thought where a month ago I couldn't go an hour.

>>18396121
>>18396121
Get help. It might cost a bit but see a psychiatrist, see a therapist. I resisted anti-depressants until college. I've been on welbutrin for a year and it helped me gain my confidence back, just last month I went back and got put on a seratonin booster and it has already started to change my life. I go whole days without having a suicidal thought where a month ago I couldn't go an hour.