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18 year old girl here, I need some advice. Its a bit of a rant so sorry
first off, my family is rich, I wont sugar coat it. We're loaded and the "rich family" in our relativity small town which we also basically built over 100 years ago. So you get the idea, rich old money.
Because of this, I was always ostracized growing up from middle class kids, I always felt left out and desperately wanted to just go be a kid with them. Instead I had to learn about class and elegance and other boring garbage, and the only kids I talked with were the children of other rich families that were kind of snobby.
Then I met him. the son of a local baker in town that got hired with his brother and their friends to do work on my families (embarrassingly large) house over the summer for a few of our parties. To top if off his uncle is a contractor who has also done work for us so he worked at my house almost all summer and I basically fell hard for him. Its sounds dumb bt he was just different then anyone else, blue collar worker, didnt judge me for my money or kissed up to me. Treated me like a person. We didnt talk much at first he'd go hang out with his friends in town after work and I wanted to join but couldnt. My parents said I "didnt have the time" and honestly I was scared id be judged or come off like a snob without meaning to. I was already teased for being "miss money bags" around town when id go out. We'd make awkward small talk but eventually got to know each other and I felt comfortable with him. I even went out with his friends (after begging my mother) and did like, normal kid stuff.It was awkward at first (will explain later).Then the summer ended and I went aboard for the past year. Those last few weeks of summer were some of the best times ive had ever and this year I want to do it again and maybe even date him.
how does an affluent girl swoon a regular guy without looking like a creep/desperate/airhead?
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>>18389602
The only people who care about your wealth in your small town are you, and other stupid people. Stop (that's step one)
Step two is stop giving a fuck about your parents
Step three is talk to this guy and give a fuck about him.
According to you, he isn't kissing your ass and judging you, and that's hard to find. Try not to fuck it up.
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>>18389614
>Step two is stop giving a fuck about your parents
actually, my dad doesnt seem to mind. Said his family is "good people, hard workers, you dont find that stuff with the regular folks as much anymore" I mean, it came off as kind of rude but it was well intended. My mother was a different story, but she comes from that old money as it has been for generations. Shes gotten a bit more understanding though
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>>18389602
>how does an affluent girl swoon a regular guy without looking like a creep/desperate/airhead?
Here's how I go about these things:
I want to be with a man who is kind and patient with me when I am nervous and embarrassed. If he doesn't like who I am when I'm nervous and embarrassed, then he's not a guy I want to be with any way.
So go ahead and just ask him out. Tell him you like him. My current boyfriend I snagged when I sat him down and said, "I want to talk to you about something. I kind of have a crush on you." I was so nervous and light headed that I thought I might pass out. I had my feet up on my chair and I was hugging my knees. I could hardly look him in the eye. I had only known him for a day. And keep in mind that we're both adults, with jobs and whatnot - I felt like I was a middleschooler confessing to a classmate.
His response? He laughed and said, "I kind of have a crush on you too."
He thought it was adorable and was flattered that I cared that much about him. He had fallen for me right back.
And now we've moved in together.
Don't second guess yourself so much. Just let it happen. You won't know if it'll work until you try. Don't let your future self wonder what could have been.
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>>18389642
>My parents said I "didnt have the time"
Whatever, you get the point, yes?
>>18389646
This is the way to do it
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>>18389602
similar situation when I was in college
>got a scholarship because of sports
>took that shit because even if my decent grades I had literally no college funds and couldnt afford this school if I tried
>loved the school for the education, but I was a complete fish out of water socially
>met lots of rich kids, guys and girls alike, who went here without any worry
>some of them avoid me like plague or tease me when they discover I cant just go skiing or to Hollywood for an extended weekend at the drop of a dime
>feltbadman
>some did stick by me though, even if I had to pinch my pennies at restaurants or was the reason we couldnt go do expensive stuff
>feltworseman, but they assured me it was no big deal
>despite them having 4x the money Ill ever have we're still all friends to this day
keep in mind, there will be a culture clash. To them there was no difference between a 300 dollar dinner and some cheap Chinese takeout. So, since youre in the opposite position, just go with the flow of what they do.idk about your family, meeting one of my best friends father was weird, he tired to be accommodating but you could tell he didnt know what to do with me. Also his son fell in love with me which made things weird
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>>18389646
>I want to talk to you about something. I kind of have a crush on you."
thats adorable. I did that with my bf but tired to be more of the "tough chick". pulled him aside, looked him in the eye and said "look I really like..us, so either we;re doing this or we;re not". He gave me this confused look and said "what really, you could do much better"
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just how close are you too exactly? Not to be a dick but ive seen lots of people say they were in love and the other person isnt as close with them as they think
>It was awkward at first (will explain later).
pls do
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>>18389660
>This is the way to do it
Thanks!
>>18389692
>He gave me this confused look and said "what really, you could do much better"
Oh jeez! That's hilarious! How long have you been together? That's such a great story to tell.
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>>18389717
just over a year and yeah it was great. He gets embarrassed when Ii tell that story but I love it. I had to sit him down and tell him no I like you and want you, not somebody else
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>>18389697
we got closer towards the end of the summer. I went from being wishy washy with it, to creeping on him, to trying to start conversations to actually holding a conversation for a few minutes and then trying to act cool and walk off. It didnt help that he was working the whole time either. Half way through the summer I realized I need to sack up and be more social with him so I tried to invite myself out with his friends
>oh you guys are going out to play baseball in the park?
>you know ive never played baseball..like ever
he got the hint and invited me, had to ask my mom who didnt want me to. She said id get filthy or those kids would get in the way of my studies or something but Ii talked her into it. Over the past year we texted often while I was away, told him Im coming home soon and I want to hang out again.
Im scared im bothering him or hes thinking "great the rich girl is back and I have to babysit her"
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>>18389810
>Im scared im bothering him or hes thinking "great the rich girl is back and I have to babysit her"
If he doesn't want to see you, it's his responsibility to say no. It is a bad habit to compensate for other people because you don't trust that they'll be honest with their motives. If he is agreeing to seeing you when he doesn't want to, then that's his prerogative and he's wasting his own time while you get to hang out with someone you like.
Give people the benefit of the doubt and trust a little.
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>>18389697
>>18389810
also greentext stories of the awkwardness
>first time im going out with him, dont know what to wear
>dress to impress, with a flowery sun dress and some expensive boots
>he meets me at my door, my mother is looking him up and down and I want to die
>both try to make awkward small talk but there is more silence then talk
>we leave, moms repeating over that I need to be home in a few hours
>ask where his car is
>"I uh..dont have one, I walk here everyday"
>shit
>try to make it up and say its fine, thats cool, better even because its a nice day hahaha (kill me)
>he asks why im wearing that becuase he and his friends are going to the trails (wooded area of our town)
>asks if I want to change
>naww, im good
>my feet are fucking killing me by the time we get there and my dress is pretty grody
>we arrive and his friends are staring at me
>"guys you know anon, I work for her family and invited her to hang with us"
>"well hot damn, scrooge mcduck wheres you rolls royce?"
>"ha we dont have THAT much money!"
>they give the samuel L jackson look of bitch please
>I sit down and watch them play catch or swim, he asks me if I want to join but im too nervous
>I spend most of it just chilling, not speaking to them unless they initiate it
>it gets dark, theyre walking home and I think to make a good impression I could get them a ride, they say its ok
>"no seriously I can get a private car to pick us up, I can call my house
>they laugh, say its alright and walk off giggling"
>he walks me home, asks if I had fun, say yeah but the walk is mostly silent
>says he'll see me at work tomorrow, I just nod and go inside
>he probably thinks im retarded
how hopeless am I for real?
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>>18389870
>"well hot damn, scrooge mcduck wheres you rolls royce?
ok that shits just funny, you cant complain. Kids bust balls, I see it all the time. Its how social groups work. Dont you have any siblings?
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>>18389870
You're fine. Keep at it and you'll prove yourself. Don't dress to impress, dress to be casual. Wear clothes you can move in so that you can be prepared for any running and outdoorsing you may do.
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>>18389870
that sounds pretty cute desu.I knew girls like that, just become better at socializing and getting comfortable
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>>18389872
no siblings, only child. The other kids I socialized with were basically the product of tiger moms and would discuss college when we were like 10. Any socializing I did was through them private school or online like this
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>>18389679
This is a different level of wealth. I only make like 180k/year and all of these things are open to me. But it's not built-a-town wealth. It's not local-de-facto-nobility wealth. It's not private-jets-and-yachts wealth. Though I know a few people who have it. Different scale.
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what do the guys like to do and what do you like to do? Find middle ground so nobody feels like a fish out of water like what happened here>>18389870
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>>18389896
This. One of my friends in college was from a family heavily involved in property development. She dated anyone she wanted. College was a time when we could all kind of just pretend to be on an even playing field. After graduation she bought a place for 8 figures but still invites people over sometimes. Everyone's lives are kind of diverging over time though.
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>>18389940
this is part of my problem, Im not sure how to ask without sounding alien
>what do you middle classers do for fun
>would you be interested in coming to my mansion for a day
idk I know im over thinking it and thanks to everyone for your input, but im already known as the girl from money so if I pretend to be anything else it will come off as lame but at the same time I want to just hang out with him and not have it be an issue if that makes sense.
just so you all know I tried to re-write that so it didnt sound as stuck up as it does. Took me 7 minutes before I gave up
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>>18389965
>I know im over thinking it
you are, just relax and when you get back ask them to come over and casually make plans for what you guys want to do this summer. If they keep being jerks about your wealth then maybe theyre not good people to be with.. Besides, it sounds like that guy you like doesnt seem to mind
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bump
this thread is entertaining
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Clearly you haven't had much contact with affluent families. People who have money DO NOT talk about it. Nobody comments how expensive your car is. Nobody says "wow this restaurant is expensive". That's just how it is. This guy acts with class clearly if he does not talk about money. You should have no issue dating him. Just realize he will not be able to afford super nice things like you are accustomed to
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my girlfriends family is pretty wealthy and I have to admit it has its perks. I didnt even know until she invited me over to meet her parents and we drive up to this gorgeous lake house. "Oh yeah, forgot to add my parents are fucking doug dimadome rich". Dont make it a big deal and it wont be a big deal, it will get brought up a lot but if you dont show it off or put him in a tough spot we're he'll be made to feel poor it'll be a great time. Being rich does have its perks and provided he doesnt use you for it hes a good catch. My gfs parents and family love me for that, I never cared about her money, I was a former marine (her dad was too), I worked to myself through school (her mom found that admirable) and her siblings think of me as an older brother they can ask for help. Apparently Ii was a huge change from the other guys shes dated that used her as a social ro financial climbing tool
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well thanks everyone for the advice, I guess ill just wing it and make a move at some point. feel free to keep the thread going. I might do a follow up thread in a few months if people still care
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