How do I become independent?

You need to fix yourself first.

Yeah I have pretty much the same issue and I kinda suck as a person

I've thought of suicide. And maybe I will. Maybe I won't.
Find out next week on the anon has a mental breakout show

>>18388893
>>18388931
Go to a psychiatrist, you fag!

>>18388893

most modern day co-dependence is not the kind of co-dependence from a few generations ago.

the problem with todays generation is every single story they've ever seen was fed to them as an epic romance, and the ending is always about how if you can get the girl, everything will be okay.

therefore without girl you are a sad useless piece of shit and cannot possibly be happy, because those characters are never happy until they have romance.

so to put it simply, you are co dependent becuase wihtout convincing your self you are in an epic romance you believe you are now worthless.

>>18388931
I feel you there anon. I feel like shit too. I would try to talk you out of those thoughts but I'd just be a hypocrite. All I can say is best of luck to you.

>>18388976
>>18388926
I'm going to a therapist, but I just wanted some outside advice from people besides my therapist.

>>18388979
Yeah, that makes sense. I feel lost and meaningless if I'm not with her. Do you know something I can do to try and break away from this mindset? It's really detrimental to my life and I just want it to go away.

Thank you for the insight by the way anon, I hadn't thought of that.

>>18388893
>without her I fall into deep depressions and become prone to breakdowns and suicidal tendencies
jfc, son, fix that shit. thats goddamn horrific. I don't really know what to tell you to fix that, I think it's a bit normal to have that like, idk what to call it... desire to be back with your gf if you guys aren't going to be together awhile but what you've got is entirely something else. I also think it's entirely normal to derive some level of... idk what to call this either, equilibrium, from your partner as well but you shouldn't be dependent on them for the entirety of your mental state. like those two things are part of a relationship; you want to be around them, and they make life more bearable; but what you've got is like 5 steps too far.

do you have things you are working for in your life anon? do you have hobbies? are you capable of being in a room alone with no internet or phone and finding things to do to keep yourself occupied? essentially, do you have a personality independent of your gf?

>>18389316
I've gotta like, stop saying like, like so much. this is what happens when you're born in cali.

>>18389316
I have a social life and I like to play games so it's not like I'm a lonely NEET, I'm also working towards becoming an EMT. The idea of having a family and a future with her is an absolutely wonderful goal I have as well, but obviously all of this goes to the shitter when she's not part of the equation. It's just when we aren't together (as in not in a relationship) I literally feel worthless, I have no other meaning in life. All of my dreams and aspirations go right out the window when she's not a part of them.

It sounds pathetic I know but that's just how it is.

>>18390023
>It's just when we aren't together (as in not in a relationship)
so you keep breaking up over and over? that's not a good sign bud. I've been in that boat and it doesn't have a sail. you're freaking out about aspirations that're going nowhere cause your relationship isn't stable enough for that in the first place.

as far as feeling like your goals don't mean anything without her and your obvious dream for a family (boy this sounds familiar *breaks 4th wall*) while that might be a long term goal for you, and that goal might not be workable without her, do everything else for you. alright? got it? becoming an EMT is an admirable goal and it shouldn't be something you want to do just to facilitate having a family and being able to provide since that's what you seem to be insinuating.

get some meaning beyond this woman. a relationship should be a sort of modifier or booster to your goals if that makes sense not the end all be all. idk how to describe that more clearly.

>>18389282

place importance on what you do without her. a lot of people who are co dependent have no REAL hobbies. some will claim they're writers but literally never write anything. some will claim they want ot be actors but never do anything about it.

those are more extreme examples depending on how you go about them, but the poitn is they believe that their lives only exist to facilitate romance.

use your life for something else and you'll be happy regardless of your relationship status.