Guy I liked shut down, I moved on and now he's upset?

>>18388699

He told me that his twin brother had committed suicide and that when he tried to talk to me about it those few weeks ago, that he couldn't even bring himself to say it and accept it. In the end he asked me to give him a chance and that he'd make it up to me. But I felt bad about seeing this new guy and him taking me out and such. I told him that I couldn't do that to my now boyfriend and that I owed it to him to give him a chance. My friend then just nodded and left my house without even bothering to put his shoes on.

A few days later we argued over text and he said that I was a callous and cold person because I told him that I loved him, but when he needed me most; I just went and found another guy. When he had always been there for me and didn't drop me for another girl when things got tough. In the end he apologized for insulting me and gave me a hug when we ran into each other. We haven't spoken since and things are going great with my new guy. But I'm curious if this guy had a foot to stand on?

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>>18388699
That guy has all the fucking ground over you. Jesus Christ what the fuck man youccant just get 20 kinds of flirty with a guy then drop him for some dude at the bar. You're a bitch and karma is gonna kick your ass.
Note that I'm usually the guy saying for people to stop whining about friendzoning and shit, but you came onto him and then turned around and ran off to jump on some other guys cock. Congrats you're officially a slut.

>>18388699
He wanted you to make him tell you about his issues so he could vent or get it out because guys are uncomfortable talking about certain stuff. Some girls will pry information out of their boyfriends because its the only way to get them to confront their issues.

You sound like a cold hearted bitch who is only interested in herself. Don't go around telling guys you love them, taking dinners from them and chocolates, waiting for them to fall all over you, and when they don't jump on the first erect dick that comes along. Relationships are s two way street except in your town.

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>>18388699
>>18388700
Pic related.

Why do you care? Does this have any impact on your life outide of morbid curiosity?

10/10 bait

>>18388716
We were doing things for about two months seriously and then he just shut off like I said. I mean it's honestly a maturity problem from my viewpoint, because he should have been able to talk about whatever was bothering him instead of clamming up. How was I supposed to know? All he told me before was that "Something terrible has happened and I feel myself pulling away from everything. I don't like it." I tried to be there and I kissed him like I said and told him not to worry. He made no effort after that to even talk to me seriously.
>>18388745
His friend(a mutual friend) has all but stopped talking to me recently and when I asked him why, he told me that I was "a shitty person" and that I shouldn't have called to him romantically if I knew I was going to hurt him. We had a big fight about that because he said that I'm a terrible person and that all I do is hurt people. I just...I dunno, I'm not seeing what I did wrong exactly. I get that I could have been more patient; but it's not like I even slept with the guy or that we were a couple. I just think this has all been blown out of proportion.

>>18388766
You needed to press him for that information. Sex and cuddles will work a lot of issues for many guys but not if their fucking brother died and theyre being dumb and hiding it. You obviously could tell something was wrong so you shouldve done something, people dont always recover from things like this easy just by themselves.

>>18388766
>Something terrible has happened and I feel myself pulling away from everything. I don't like it.
And couldn't you just be there for him? Just comfort him and take care of him?
You told him you loved him.

>>18388779
>will work a lot of issues
Will fix*

>>18388766
He was hurting anyone who wasn't fucking blind can see that. Guys don't bawl their eyes out and say all their problems at the drop of a hat we usually bottle shit up. You displayed obvious romantic interest in him and did romantic things for him, likely in his mind you were already together.

As for why you're a slut you immediately jumped to him when you lost your first relationship and then right after hopped on another guys cock after doing romantic shit with the 2nd dude. So slut indeed bitch slut indeed.

>"i love you"
>"oh no big deal hun i'm on a date with someone else"
what the honest fuck is going on in people's minds these days

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>>18388766

>tell a guy that you love him
>be mutually there for each other during his downtime
>he's depressed because of his brother's suicide
>well there's been no open communication so it's not like we're dating or anything
>but I did tell him I love him and I'd be there for him
>so I already filled this guy's head with promises
>and then one night I see some cute guy and decide to fuck him because hey, why not just fuck whatever cute guy catches my eye at the bar? It's been a slow week after all
>So I don't understand the problem when I say I love one guy and then fuck another
>It's almost like that my attention span only lasts about two weeks, and then I need a new man to find to make me dinner and spend time with

5/10 bait, I replied

>>18388797
Some people are capable of loving more than one person at a time. I'm incapable of loving just one person and literally can't relate to it at all. Do people only love one of their children? Do you love both parents?

>>18388766
You blew it out of proportion when you used the word "love" when you meant something more along the lines of "crush/lust/passing interest."
You have a strange perspective on what you "owe" people. As if you only owe people any sort of consideration if you're actually dating them. Maybe you're young, maybe this is a troll thread, maybe you didn't grow up watching any of those kids cartoons that talk about empathy and other people's feelings. Even if this guy wasn't your boyfriend, he was still a friend, someone you cared for right? You were planning to be with him, informed him of this, and then started going out with someone else, without communicating that you were moving on. You should have "owed" him, as a friend even, to be more respectful of his feelings. Now you're with some stranger you instantly "owe" more than your friends because he got the boyfriend title.

So your friends see that they don't matter to you, because they are not your boyfriend, so you do not care about their feelings and how they're affected. The thing is, even with "just friends" you're supposed to care about them as people. That's why you're being treated poorly. Friends feelings don't matter to you, so now your feelings don't matter to them.

>>18388803

There's a difference between the love one holds for parents, family, children, etc,

and being romantically interested in one another, which OP has already stated she was.

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>>18388699
I will save you from this bait.

This is now a cupcake thread.

>>18388779
He's 27 years old, I'm 23. Why did I have to "press" him for information? What happened if I dated him and something else happened down the line? He'd shut down again and ignore me?
>>18388782
Like I said, I honestly forgot about that conversation until he brought it up. It was nearly three weeks at that point since he'd told me that. I have my own life to live and can't always remember every little detail. >>18388791
Thanks for the insults. Great addition.

The new guy I'm seeing had his granfather in the hospital and you know what he did? He called me, told me; came and picked me up and we talked about it like adults and I comforted him. Isn't that what a good partner is supposed to do?

>>18388803
>Some people
yes we call those people cheaters or cucks

>>18388814

>the new guy's grandfather is in the hospital
>And that is exactly the same kind of guilt and pain and sadness that suicide is
>totally the same
>so the new guy is so much more of an adult and mature because we went and visited his grandfather
>instead of me going and visiting my friend's brother's grave because it's probably a heavy weight to deal with someone killing themselves or something
>not like I would know, I have a three week attention span, I can't be bothered to remember every little detail after all

>>18388804
And what about me? Didn't he owe it to me to be more respectful of my feelings? For nearly three weeks I barely got a peep out of him and mostly one sentence answers. I felt like he didn't want me anymore and so I moved on with someone who did. Telling me that you're "sad and feel yourself distancing from people" isn't telling me anything. Are you distancing yourself from me? Because of work? Are you dying? How the hell am I supposed to know what's going on if he doesn't tell me?

>>18388833
>Didn't he owe it to me to be more respectful of my feelings?
bitch what feelings. you told a guy you loved him then you went out on another guy on a date. you have no feelings

>>18388814
His brother killed himself. Can you even understand what kind of pain you are talking about?

When my brother killed himself I was catatonic for 3 days.

>>18388833

>dealing with his brother taking his own life
>what about MY FEELINGS

Calm down lady, no one's asking you how to teach the advanced courses on entitlement. Those don't start till next week.

>>18388766
So morbid curiosity? Morbid curiosity. Unless I'm misreading the story, homeboy is hurting. You tell him you love him and care for him and he asks for patience. Instead of seeing where you stand lIke most people who love one another do (which makes sense because you were not in love him), fuck another who gave you the look on homeboys birthday. You were a shitty girlfriend/friend/person/whatever to him. However, who cares, this has no impact on your life unless your life has any value due to your relationship with homeboy. Give a fuck or don't, don't preach one and do the other and expect support.

>>18388803
This may come as a shock, but yes. You'd know this if you settled down, stopped being a whore, and had a child so you can come to perspective about how limited emotions really are.

>>18388814
Not everyone is as clear headed as you are in this moment, realize that. You let him become emotionally dependent on you with your actions and words weeks prior but then some bad shit happened to him. Losing a brother, especially a twin brother is excruciating. Not every relationship is a perfect 50/50 split of effort, sometimes putting in extra effort to help your partner through a rough patch is necessary. Instead of letting them sink themselves deeper and finding comfort elsewhere.

ITT: you love me? Fuck you, I don't!

OP, you were wrong the minute he told you he loved you and it wasn't reciprocated. From there, you literally did nothing but string him on, and no, "grow to love someone" doesn't happen.

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Everyone shut the fuck up. It's clearly by the replies that OP is not actually looking for advice, but rather confirmation.

Yes OP, you're clearly not in the wrong and you're totally not at fault. Now take a deep breath, pat yourself on the back for living your life the way you do and cut yourself out of that guy's life forever because he clearly deserves better than you.

>>18388887
Op said she loved the guy first.

>>18388902
She also established that she has no idea what the fuck love is and therefore lead him on with the assumption of knowledge

>>18388901
Sorry Im not very good with metaphors. By confirmation you mean thot enabling and the "fire" in your picture symbolizes crashing and burning relatioships right?

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>>18388921
Are you dense?

>>18388921
dude what the actual fuck

>>18388852
I. Didn't. Know.

Seriously, how else can if you say that you'd have done differently? If your girl or guy just stopped talking and being happy around you, wouldn't you think that they'd lost interest in you and didn't care? People ghost others all the time and there was no way for to know what troubled him. Dumping it on me and saying that I wasn't there for him was bs on his part, because I texted him twice and asked what was wrong, all he said was "nothing" and "I'm just thinking". Very informative.

>>18388941
No. If my boyfriend told me that something terrible happened and then they acted depressed, I'd try to help them out and try to be nice to them.
You said you LOVED him, it's a pretty big word.

>>18388933
Did you think you were being subtle

>>18388833
In this situation? No. He was dealing with a loss. You were being impatient. He said he needed time, you decided 3 weeks was too long. Is there something that kept you from communicating this with him before going out with someone else? His reason for not communicating is more understandable.

From the story we're given, he thought you loved him and were okay with giving him time. The SECOND you communicated that it was a problem for you, he told you what happened. But it was too late because you'd already decided to move on before having that conversation.

>>18388941
You're logic is flawed when you claimed to love him. When your loved one ghosts you it's not typical "don't care-ness", it's at the least sad and at the most troubling an worrying. Instead what you did, from someone you claimed to love (again, you did that, nobody else forced you to), was to get it on with another guy.
Like seriously, bitch, how hard is it to understand this? Don't say you love people when you don't. Jesus.

>>18388933
>>18388938
>What do you mean? Girls can't be autistic

>>18388958
Fair enough. I'm not saying I was an angel, chalk it up to a bad misunderstanding. There's nothing for to me to do anyway now expect to move on.

>>18388941
If it happened to me I'd force them to give me some kind of closure whether its the truth or just fuck off. Youre overestimating his maturity while being immature yourself.

>>18388968
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MISUNDERSTANDING

I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU AND BONED ANOTHER GUYS BRAINS OUT YOU MUST HAVE MISUNDERSTOOD ME

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Why do people fall for shit like this?

>>18388995
It's not bait. I know the person who posted this because I argued with her about how much of a cunt she'd been, and challenged her to get random opinions and not her retarded friends about how she should "make herself happy" and forget about it. The dude is a wreck and while he's acting strong, we talk in private and he's really struggling to not blame himself. He switches between anger and misery(his family is still falling apart) and that takes up most of his mental energy. And here she is running around with some dude she just met and not giving a fuck about her "friend" of years that she swore up and down to care about. This has destroyed our friends group.

>>18389262
Tell the guy I'm sorry for his loss and most of the anons here support him

>>18389287
Thanks. Been trying to for the last couple months, he just wants to be alone at this point and is pretty much a zombie outside of work. His friend and I are just trying to give him space and told him to call if he needs anything. We're just letting him know that the door is open and not trying to drag him through it.