Why can't I just talk?

Is there no way to express yourself in other ways ?
Have you tried playing an instrument, dancing, singing or running into the wild to let these feelings out ?
I believe we must not keep them inside of us for too long but rather transform/express them

>>18387304
You sound selfish and egotistical. You have an image of yourself in our mind and want to preserve it so badly that you won't open your mouth to talk, even when it's the necessary thing for better survival.

Get over yourself.

I been in this situation before, in fact I'm still in this situation, I lied to much that at some point I started to believe my own lies, I hope you are not thinking about killing yourself, dead it's just a waste of potencial and time, and over all, a really pussy way to deal with the struggles that life give us, if I were you I'll join the army, the police something dangerous, because fuck, if you want to end it all the easy way and just kill yourself the do it in a place were the are going to pay you for risking your life, being suicidal or list interest in life ain't that bad because if you think about that gives you a lot of power, you don't worry about yourself? Fine, the you can do the hardest drugs you find, you can get yourself the most dangerous jobs or fuck de dirtiest sluts you find raw because fuck it and STD is going to kill you in a couple of months or years but you were going to give up anyways so who cares, there is something always something to look for, happiness aint easy to get but is something worth it to fight for, keep it up men, something will come up

>>18387304
ooo wee nigga, are you me?

Ive been there, I was there. Lived with the same problem for fucking YEARS
I had a best friend who tried to help, to understand and when I tried to talk my throat physically compressed/tightened up and I couldnt speak, I literally fucking croaked trying to

I got severely depressed after, lost all motivation and was in pain all the time.
I honestly cant remember what brought me to but one day I forced myself to get up and walk outside and see the birds I heard in my sleep. I fucking fainted
After that it took me weeks to summon the courage to get back in uni, talk to my family and live again

take a breath man, let it all out, you dont have to tell anyone maybe you do, be honest with yourself and understand yourself and what you want in life and go for it. dont give up man

>>18387304
The essence of talk therapy is facing unpleasant or scary things about yourself. So it is totally natural to resist opening up. Indeed, letting you resist until you run out of evasions is sometimes part of the process (which is why therapy can sometimes take a long time).

Remember learning to swim? You were scared stiff of the water and convinced you were going to drown, despite everyone assuring you you wouldn't. And then one day you decided "Well, maybe I will drown, but today I'm going to take that chance." And you discovered that the danger wasn't there all that time.

You are afraid that if you tell your secrets dreadful things will happen. But someday you have to find the courage or trust your therapist enough to take that chance. And then you'll discover there really was no danger all along.

>>18387338
I mean, I kinda understand why you'd think that, but I don't really think I'm all that egotistical. In fact, I'd say I'm the opposite, haha my ego is pretty much nonexistent desu