Is suicide the right choice for me?

How old are you anon?

>>18386705
19

>For some schizoid patients, [suicide] is like a faint, barely discernible background noise, and rarely reaches a level that breaks into consciousness. For others, it is an ominous presence, an emotional sword of Damocles. In any case, it is an underlying dread that they all experience.

>Any moment i get to be comfortable with myself someone will always put me back in my place.

You are enforcing the high standards you have for yourself by refusing to enjoy an existence that you know is mediocre. I doubt you will kill yourself. You will continue to suffer until you've proven your own value. Your previous hobbies/relationships were insufficient.

>>18386643
Sounds like you need therapy OP. What country are you from?

>>18386714
Hang on, I was miserable at 19, but I like my life now at 22 and look forward to the future. Things I thought would never work out, ended up working out. I know things seem bleak now, but a couple years can radically alter your perspective.

Try and see if you can talk to a therapist, idk your situation, but it can helpful.

>>18386731
Im from the US, central california to be more specific.

>>18386729
Having "High Standards" that make you miserable is retarded.

Accept where you are right now, not saying you have to stay there, but if you're not satisfied with where you are currently accept that that's where you are right now, and stop torturing yourself for it, it's useless and nonsensical.

Don't fall into the self improvement trap of improving yourself until you accept yourself, you'll never reach it. Instead accept yourself first, and then if you want to, improve yourself.

Dude your 19 you have your whole life ahead of you. I understand where your coming from I've been there but for Christ sake man don't even contemplate suicide. You have waaaaayyyyy too many mistakes that can or cannot be made at your point. If life's got ya down find a friend. Trust me at your age just put yourself out there something will come your way. Could be pussy. Whatever the case you have not hit rock bottom and if you are willing to try people will help you at your age but you gotta try. Life on this earth can be hell for everyone even those on the top, but suicide is a cowards way out. I don't believe in god but I think if there is one he challenges us for a reason.

>>18386714
>>18386732
I'm 23 and it doesn't get any better, this guy is lying to you because he's a sick fuck and wants you to suffer

>>18386737
Plus you live in central cali. Jesus dude, try growing up in bum fuck nowhere oklahoma! You think you have problems...

>>18386737
hey i live near there and i'm also suicidal tonight

>>18386748
ik ik
>"sha brah, california is sick bro"
believe it or not theres also bum fuck nowhere with just fields for miles here in california too. but i guess im lucky to live in the state as yosemite and a state with a beach

>>18386758
Yes for Godsake yes. Oklahoma is hell at your age be thankful OMG be thankful. You have a beach for godsake! There are women there.>>18386750 there this person... you have no excuse. Misery loves company, maybe you guys can hit it off.

In Oklahoma at age 19 I was forced to go to literal country hoe downs and line dance... this was considered social events. People drove up in there trucks to the middle of nowhere and danced to country music...I have night terrors about it still.

>>18386771
Literally there was nothing else to do...