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Anonymous
Is my brother being passive aggressive? 2017-06-04 09:37:08 Post No. 18385490
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Is my brother being passive aggressive? 2017-06-04 09:37:08 Post No. 18385490
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So, today I decided to go out with a friend to a thing we had pre-planned, despite the horrible London attacks. Shortly after leaving the house, I got a call from my brother, berating me loud enough that the whole bus pretty much heard. He wanted me, an adult in his 20s, to get the hell back home. Reluctant and embarrassed, I returned.
When I got home, he gave me the "I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry". His actual words were "you didn't really do anything wrong, and I'm sorry that you're upset, but I'm not sorry that you're safe". I didn't want to escalate things, so I just decided to be the bigger person, and apologise. Then he actually had the nerve to call me passive aggressive, because I didn't want to talk about it further.
Later in the day, he brought it up again. This time when I did try to talk he got aggressive and shut down the conversation, and went off on one.
I realise some of my actions seem passive aggressive, and I probably am, but my intention isn't to get a rise out of someone, or indirectly insult them. I grew up in a house where it was better to just keep your mouth shut, and bottle your feelings, because things had a tendency to go from 0 to violence pretty quick.
I feel I should add, I did omit where I was going, because I didn't really want to talk about it, and get into a fight over it. My family is super overprotective, and it often feels there isn't much personal space. I just want to keep things private, and on a need to know basis.
Despite my intentions, was I being passive aggressive, was he, and who's in the wrong?
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He's a nosey cunt, tbqh.
Should've either told him to fuck off, or "yeah, sure" and still done what you wanted to do.
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>>18385568
I did consider just ignoring him, and going. But, it wasn't just him. My parents were worried as well, and wanted me to come home. But, the problem is he couldn't let it go, and kept poking at the issue. Also, just ignoring him and doing it would have ended in an even bigger fight.
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>>18385568
Thanks, though. The verdict in the house seems to be I'm in the wrong.
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>>18385490
Forgot to mention, when I accused him of being passive aggressive with his comment, he actually started angrily going off on one, and said "I'm not passive aggressive, I'm just aggressive". How do you even respond to that, let alone take it seriously?
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>>18385587
>>18385590
>>18385594
He really seems to be a cunt and needs a reality check - he doesn't feed you, so he got no say over what you're doing. He can't control you, and so he deserves a good "fuck off, mate".
I mean, that's what I would do, because my blood boils when somebody acts like they own me.
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>>18385786
Thanks. Feels good to have someone lend an ear and be supportive. Find it difficult to talk about any problems I have with people in real life because, it feels like I'm airing my dirty laundry, or I assume people won't care, and I don't want to burden/bother them with my problems.
I'm really considering moving the first chance I get.
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>>18385490
OP nothing you're doing is passive aggressive. It seems like that's being projected onto you.
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>>18385490
If he gets aggressive when you are assertive it just means he can't deal with you at the same level as himself. He's a napoleonic cunt. There's really no way to live with someone like that. I recently moved out due to a similar situation and I feel wonders better not living with people I hate.
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