sex life has me depressed

Try to find a girlfriend? Someone you actually enjoy making small talk with and are not going through the motions with just to get laid?

There is no way around this, the odds are stacked against you as a man. Not only is dick just plentiful compared to pussy, most women also still want to keep their number down - you probably also don't want a girl who has been around too much in your eyes. Hence why you need to jump through hoops to potentially get sex. People still make a fuss over it and until they stop doing that sex will never be as easy and natural as it might be in theory with mutual desire.

Anyway, it is also quite possible that you would not like sleeping with random people. It is not the same at all as enjoying sex in general. Some people love the thrill, the egostroke, the game itself - others feel it's a lot of effort for mediocre sex where you both don't know each other's buttons.

>>18384085
Yeah I was happy when I had a girlfriend, but I just recently got dumped and it emotionally destroyed me so I feel like maybe I get too dependent on relying on a relationship to keep me happy, that just makes me depressed whenever I'm single.

So its not strange as a guy not wanting to flirt and fuck around with random girls? Its no ego stroke I get, it makes me feel like an asshole whenever I succeed, like putting on a dance and show just to use someone and discard them after.

My main problem is why does it make me so unhappy? Maybe I just need a girlfriend to be happy and that's just the way it is for me. Because I have banged a few girls during this depressive phase but it only made me happy during sex, it didn't have any lasting effect at all

>>18384069
Don't play the game if you don't want to. You know what? I didn't either. I just masturbated and only dated girls I was interested in and became friends with first. I couldn't have sex with someone I didn't care about. You're not going to have a lot of partners or girlfriends in life but you'll be happier. I'm married now and have no regrets about not being a man whore.

>>18384096
Thats good to hear anon, the current scene or society or whatever I live in makes it feel like I have to be a man whore so I thought something was wrong with me. I think I'll be happier if I live life like you did. However there is the issue of having no female friends...

Why do you think its making me so unhappy now though?

>>18384094
How recently? If you're talking a few months or so I'd bet your feelings do not primarily stem from not getting sex but missing her and the intimacy you had with her. That's normal. It's also normal to feel urges to go out and fuck trying to drown that out, but not everyone does, male or female.

Eh, I can see what you mean but the thing is that many women -do- want to have sex and not necessarily just within a relationship. They just want sex with a guy who pays attention to them as a person and engages them as a human being, who flirts with them and wets their appetite, who gives them an idea of what sex with him could be like (eg playful or passionate). So that it's no longer an abstract concept of a random dick, but rather - going home with you, someone they have a certain chemistry with.
Sure if you are pretending to laugh at her jokes while inwardly thinking she's a retard, that's far from sincere and it would only speak to your character to not feel comfortable with that. But openly flirting and pursuing sex itself is not deceitful, nor is having mutually fun sex where you both know what the deal is using someone.

Again I think a big part is that you've just become single. It always takes time getting back in your stride after that, whether or not you want to escape into casual sex. It could be that you really value a romantic partner for your happiness as well but I think at least the break up makes it worse for now.

>>18384100
I think it's on your head really. I can't speak for you but I had friends that were dating and one was married and I was single. At times, I felt like a 5th wheel but they always included me. Everybody wants to have someone special in their life and comfortable sex. Someone always there to do things with. But, I had great friends that didn't make me feel awkward and when someone came along I hit it off with it was great. So there's nothing wrong with you, just that you're too good for the average slut and you'll end up better off for it. Just enjoy this time and don't dwell on it. It'll work out.

>>18384103
Its been less than two months since I was dumped, so pretty recent. This feeling isn't new to me though, I felt like this whenever I've been single past childhood, granted the breakup on top is definitely making it worse.

I get what you are saying about playing the game is not always about deceit, maybe I'll try and change my outlook on that.

As for valuing a romantic partner, I think that is the case, I actually enjoyed cuddling with my gf after sex a lot better than the sex itself. In b4 shit at sex.

>>18384100
Oh and another thing. When you meet the person that is the one you want to spend your life with and she asks "how many girls have you been with?" (Cause they all do) and you give them a very very low number, because you then tell them you don't believe in sex with strangers, it's a slam dunk.

>>18384116
I think you've hit the nail on the head anon, your saying that I should try and confide in my friends more and use them to fill my emotional needs until Mrs perfect shows up? Theres sort if a stigma against guys confiding in each other though, but I guess my good friends would be happy to help me.

>>18384137
Ha never thought of it that way before. I've slept with about 11 people I think is that little or lots I have no idea? (I'm 23) Most of those are from a 6 month period where I was extremely depressed and went out getting blind drunk every other day not caring about anything. That was probably the most unhappy time of my whole life.

>>18384145
I don't know about your friends but one of my guy friends I got pretty close to and could share some shit with. I just hung out with my friends until mrs right came along. Then we did things together and of course alone. But that's what friends are for. Good times and bad. They just never knew they were bad for me. I was with or without a female. If I were you just stop sleeping around. It's not making you happy and you could be spending that time having fun or meeting mrs right.