2 years ago, I met a guy and we went out for a few weeks. Then

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>>18383709
what career
pls dont tell me it's mathematics
Hardy would be disappointed.

>>18383722
Some cool engineering thing.

>>18383734
oh don't you worry about his career then.

>>18383737
Why?
He made a lot of sacrifices to get where he is, I don't want him to give it all up just for me.

>>18383741
Two years in an engineering program is enough to realize whether that is what he actually wants to do. It doesn't seem he's happy in his uni, courses too tough, couldn't find a girl, sexual frustration, or any similar combination. He probably just gonna transfer to another school and finish the degree even if he doesn't move back.

>>18383752
He's very happy with the courses. He's top of his class in a very good school.
Where we live he wouldn't be able to find anything even close to that quality in his field.

Sexual frustration and such might be a thing, but yeah. Throwing away a great chance because of muh dick seems excessive.

>>18383756
>He's very happy with the courses. He's top of his class in a very good school.
ok suuuure lmao

>Sexual frustration and such might be a thing, but yeah. Throwing away a great chance because of muh dick seems excessive.

Men have been known to throw more important things (like a nation's future) away because of muh dick.

Can you want for him to finish his degree?
how many dicks have you taken since 2 years ago?

>>18383759
>ok suuuure lmao
He said he is, I don't see why I should believe he isn't.

>Can you want for him to finish his degree?
Yes. He doesn't want me to, tho.

>how many dicks have you taken since 2 years ago?
One. I dated a guy for a year and half, we broke up 3 months ago.

>>18383709
maybe move to him temporarily while he moves to the next part of his career?

>>18383761
Did you fuck him when he's back?

>>18383764
No, we never had sex.

>>18383763
I can't, I'm finishing my studies here. I have still 3 years to go.
I would, if I could.

>>18383765
In my uni it is typical for dudes to get their waifus from their countries to come live with them while they are getting their PhD.
You either transfer to some place near him, or tell him to keep waiting. How many years do you have left?

>>18383776
>How many years do you have left?
I have 3 years left. We live in different countries so it's practically impossible to transfer (both for me and for him).

I wouldn't mind waiting. I just don't want him to fuck himself over forever for a thing that might last or not.

>>18383795
>3 years left
lol yea he's not gonna wait
Can you apply for a school in his current country? near his uni? clearly a win win since the other school is likely better.
Are you willing to do so?

Since his love life is nonexistent and you can wait, an obvious solution is LDR, you will meet every semester break. If he doesn't want that tell him it's the only way you would be with him. Tell him if he drops out you won't be with him since he's acting like a child.

>>18383808
I could if I threw away all the things I did this far (finishing my 3rd year) and started from 0. I am not going to.

I don't think his love life is completely non-existent. He is pretty cute, never has been single for more than a month or two before we met. He just doesn't tell me, probably.

I'd be fine with a LDR, honestly. I offered before he even left because I truly liked him, but he said that they never work out so I dealt with it and moved on.
He told me he regretted saying no and that he felt horrible when I moved on and started dating my ex. When I told him I dumped him he had to do something to be with me.
But, yeah - dropping out of uni seems a bit too much.

I will try to tell him this.

>>18383819
I'm curious, how old are you and him?
what do you study?

>>18383825
He's 22, I am 24.
I am studying to become a surgeon. In my country the system is a bit complicated.

>>18383828
best of luck :)

>>18383709
Dont be idiot op.
He can transfer school.
You can move to him.

Do not throw love away. If it survived LDR with fake break up, it will last forever.

Make viable compromise. It lasted this long, it will last a little longer.

Think solution so he can finish his education. Good luck!

>>18383923
Neither of us can move closer to each other for 2 years at least.
The only "compromise" we can have is a LDR and seeing each other twice a year (Christmas and summer).

>>18383931
Are you sure transfer isnt option? Maybe not the same school, but some uni closer to the other so you can see at weekends.

Anyway i tell everybody here to not fall for LDR, but apparently you are the exception confirming the rule.

Are you absolutely sure neither of you can transfer to uni to closer distance?

>>18383937
Yes. We're in different countries with completely different school systems, so transferring would mean fucking up whatever we did this far. Plus his school is a thousand times better than any school close to mine for his field.
I'd do a LDR with him, he's the guy of my dreams (... and we met on 4chan, lol). Just, you know. Hard to make decisions.

>>18383709
It encourages me that not all people are selfish pieces of shit. For you to think of his future over your own immediate desire is what love is built on. I don't think you have to break contact but I do agree he needs to complete his studies where he is and so do you and drunk talk over a beer shouldn't result in such a major disruption to years of preparation and study.

>>18383709
imo tell him you do have strong feelings for him but he should seriously consider the situation, since starting to live together will change a lot of things for both of you and in case things don't work out that well he will have lost the opportunity for his education. This will probably separate you in case you find another person to love but if your relationships with others don't work out on both sides you guys can still try in 3 years (imo not too likely and filled with disappointment since the 5 year wait may set unrealistically high expectations.)

>>18383939
Well, i have suggestion to you.

Keep doing what you are doing and sort of pretend you are both single. Keep in touch via skype calls or something and keep it casual. If neither one of you will manage to find new love, you will get together in 2 years.

Even if you have sex with somebody else, just dont tell it and be done with it. Dont expect exclusivity to prevent jealousy and hope for best. Focus on school and you will see if you will marry after graduation or grow distant.

Good luck!

That's very thoughtful of you and you're right, he shouldn't give up a potential career (at least if he likes it and he's good at it) for a crush. But then again, if he's willing to give it up for some girl (no offense) I have to wonder, how much does he REALLY like it? Maybe he's not that into it. Or maybe he's too smitten with you and can't put things into perspective.

I don't think you should lie to him, but I think you should try to make him understand what he's giving up and tell him to give it more thought. He'd basically have lost 2 years of his life, a huge opportunity, a career that could've made him a lot of money and maybe a passion too. If he'll realize it later and won't be able to find something as good he'll most likely blame you for it and start to resent you. That's the last thing the two of you want to happen.

>>18383977
He does like it.
The last 2 years were especially hard for him emotionally. He moved to a different continent and this alone is kinda stressing, but his dad died a month after he moved and his mother got very sick a year ago.
I helped him out as much as I could and took care of his mom (drove her to medical visits, helped her with errands, did groceries and cooked for for her, etc). I've also been there for him to talk and such, we've always been very open.
Beside attraction and shit, I think that he feels particularly attached to me because I was there for him in a moment of need, so he can't put things in perspective and he thinks I'm the end of the world. I don't want him to change his mind and be like "welp, I threw up on my amazing career for this bitch" in 10 years.
I want him to be happy, and this includes being satisfied with his job.

>>18383960
I will talk to him later when he wakes up. We stayed out till 6 AM this morning and he's still asleep.
I definitely don't want him to give up on his studies, I'd rather be lonely than know he's fucking himself over so much.

>>18383963
>>18383973
While it was easy to keep talking and be friends before we had the "I am in love with you" talk, right now it'd be weird.
I don't know how much it'd be easy.

>>18384021
Life isnt easy. Dont throw love into bin just because you are lazy and uncertain of future.

And dont throw certain career away in favor of uncertain love. Keep it casual, keep in touch via online meens and dont expect exclusivity but also dont rub it into each face if you relapse and fuck somebidy on the side. If you truly love each other, masturbation via videochat should keep you going until hooliday come wherr you fuck like rabbits for a week before going back.

Sorry for shit advice, but you have sort of shit situation :-/

>>18384037
>If you truly love each other, masturbation via videochat should keep you going until hooliday come wherr you fuck like rabbits for a week before going back.

True. Going 4 months (1 semester) without sex should be possible for most students in university :)
In fact most STEM students live like that :)))

>>18384042
I dont know what have you tried to tell, but this is probably the most normie infested board on 4chan.

There are 25+ old virgin posters here. You certainly can survive without sex if you want (or if you are so pathetic you cant secure mate).

And the attack on stem students was really uncalled for. People like you are the reason we have to tell insecure guys here to not kill themselves and to not buy prostitutes because virgin shaming.

If anything, we should be doing slut shaming instead. I know you are probably some random normie too young to have this skill called empathy, so you dont even realize how bad the people around you feel when you "joke" like that.
>inb4 projecting
Just think about our culture a bit if being virgin is considered bad.
>>>/d/egenerate

>>18384037
>>18384042
Sex is really the only thing that never bothered me.
I wouldn't fuck someone on the side, he's not the kind either (he's one of the most loyal, honest and faithful guys I've ever met). We both never had casual sex.
Sure, it'd suck, but it's really not the biggest problem.

>>18384056
What are you on about? what attack? it is perfectly normal to study hard for one semester then go wild on vacation.
I mean technically you can go clubbing/parties every weekend in the first one, two years, but when it gets serious and calculus became real analysis, choosing specialization, projects piling up, doing so on semester break makes more sense.

so sensitive lol

>>18383795
Some dumb people are just giving bad advice.

What you to do is being honest with him. Tell him straight to his face that you want him to finish the degree. That this would be thing that makes you happy.

Nothing wrong in waiting. In the meanwhile you can also be in a relation. It seems some kids here never saw it happening. Not too long ago people would indeed love each other and live far apart, waiting for the next chance to get together.

Talk with him. Be happy. You both deserve a wonderful life together and getting a good carreer is certainly a good boost to make it happen as you dream.

>>18384107
>Some dumb people are just giving bad advice.

So you can't read. You are saying the same thing as everyone else.

>>18384107
I wouldn't mind waiting. He seemed very impatient and driven to be together soon tho, and I don't want him to take a decision that will fuck up the rest of his life.

Maybe just the alcohol.

>>18384146
don't let his impatience ruin things for the both of you longer term. It was the alcohol

Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders OP so keep it.

>>18384175
I'll try to. It all feels very overwhelming.
Over the last 2 years he wouldn't say anything about it - never said I'm pretty or that he likes me or mentioned having feelings for me at all, or wanting to date me.
Last night he had a complete 180 from all he said this far. We talked about future together, things we'd like to do, and shit. I don't know.
I'm so happy but also very scared.

>>18384189
>never said I'm pretty
lol he dated you, probably thought this was obvious. Like most people he works with, they don't like stating the obvious.

>>18384193
Sure. But I like being told nice shit.

>>18384197
Well, I think you're very pretty.

>>18384200
Thank you anon! <3 You made me smile.

>>18384189
I understand this making you feel good but again the two of you barely know each other and that alone is not enough to disrupt both your lives for something will a low probability of working out. Now if you guys had been in a relationship, moved and stayed in touch but were really concerned the distance was killing the relationship and wanted to have a serious pro/con discussion about making adjustments, I get.

>>18384209
When he left, sure. We had known each other for a month. Which is the reason why we decided to not go LDR.
But it was 2 years ago. We kept in touch, we met up every time he was in town and spent a lot of time together. We've been really good friends (with the limitations that obviously living on the opposite sides of the ocean brings) - supported each other, talked, and truly have been there through all sorts of shit.
Not saying it's like we've lived together and had a relationship for 2 years because it isn't the case, but I considered him one of my best friends and one of the people I love most nonetheless.

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>>18384208
and your smile makes my penis very hard :)

>>18384231
You're the second man that tells me in 24 hours, I'm going to believe you fuckers if you keep saying it.