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Hey guys. I liked this girl and she liked me as well, but I found out that she was seeing other guys on the side(we weren't dating yet, but spent a lot of time together) and it hurt me I guess. Anyway I put my ego aside, but found it hard to trust her since she'd said she loved me and was doing this kind of stuff. She had some other problems as well, alcohol and smoking being the bigger ones, but her lying was what kept me from fully committing. I just felt that I could never trust her. Eventually she lied about our status when we'd just talked about being together, and slept with some guy from the bar and now they're dating. I was incredibly hurt of course and she dumped it all on me and went from being nice to being mean as hell. I wished her well and walked away instead of fighting with her. In spite of feeling that we'd never work out long term, I liked her and we were friends first. Everyone tells me I dodged a bullet with her, but I feel like I lost. Where do I go from here? I tried so many times to talk to her about her drinking and she never cared how I felt. But now one of our mutual friends is saying that she stopped smoking for that new guy, but since I pass through her place of work(same building), I always see her smoking. I don't get it, this situation makes me feel part jealous but past relieved, like with the smoking thing; how can she day she'll stop for him...But then smoke when nobody can see her?
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>>18381706
She's obviously just trash quit being emotional.
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>>18381712
How? I can't help but feel like the loser in this situation. When I talked to her friend about this when it happened, I asked her why she did that and she told me that the new guy was "cute, funny and nice. Plus he works out!" And I'm sitting here feeling like garbage now. After all the things I was there for her through, she just as this guy, fucked him the same night and told me to get lost. And what hurts is that this guy could actually be great! I don't think I'm a terrible person. But she gets a potentially great guy by lying and being dismissive to so many people/things, and I get what? What was all my work for?
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>>18381706
Get life insurance policy now for her and send bottles of liquor to her house
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>>18381706
Damn, you you sound like a 14-year old who's got his first hard-on for a girl, getting all emotional and sad and stuff.
Fact number 1: You can't change people
Fact number 2: People only do what they really want to do. If she comes up with excuses, it means she wants you to get lost, or doesn't want to be with you.
Fact number 3: She's a cunt, she says one thing and does the opposite. Untrustworthy and you should drop her like a sack of potatoes and find someone else.
All I can say is, man up and find someone else. Your situation is almost identical to the first girl I liked. Do yourself a huge favor and ditch her, even if she were to visit you on her knees, begging. You really don't want to align yourself to those kinds of girls.
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>>18381885
And why is it that I shouldn't align myself with her? She TOLD me that she loved me. And yeah, I found it hard to believe based on her actions, and I know people have had long term partners or marriages fail too where "I love you" was said a million times. That's not my confusion. I'm angry because I tried to give her my best and put so much fucking effort into being there for her, and because I asked for some space and AGAIN she told me she loved me and only me, I come back and she's fucking some other guy that she's been flirting with for months. Who the hell does that? She told me she wanted something serious, that we could take our time. And only after the fact does it all come blaring at me about how bad I got played. I asked her, and she said "I just wanted to be happy". Fuck me.
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>>18381923
>She told me she loved me
> This must mean she actually loves me
On top of that, you're not really a nice guy as you claim to be. You desperately try to win affection by putting on a nice guy act in exchange for her love/sexual favors. Now that kiddo, is some weasling shit. You did stuff for her, she decides to fuck another guy she likes, her choice. It happens. The fact she's sexually promiscious might not make her a good potential girlfriend and her lies make her more of a cunt, but you're no saint either. No-one is. If she wants the other guy to fuck her brains out, it means you should find yourself another girl. No-one really likes a guy who desperately wants a girl to like him by feeling sad for him and his circumstances. That's one place no-one really wants to be in. She can tell you a million times that she loves you and wants you to be hers, but if she decides to get her brains fucked out by some other guy, then those words are of precious little value. Hope you understand the situation a bit better.
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>>18381973
That's not true my man. Me being nice is who I am, I don't see the point in being anything else if I can help out those that need it. I was nice to her before we developed romantic feelings, and even after the whole thing exploded; I have still been nice to her. Am I angry? Of course, I feel like I got wrecked from time to time(such as now). I don't know what else to say or do. I don't mope when I s her or even that often in private, I do a lot and keep myself busy building up my life. It's just fucking hard when you like someone, tell them you need their support and they go and Fuck someone else. All I'm left with now are feelings of unfulfilled promises, because as you put it; she's free to change her mind on a dime. I'm not the first to get dumped for someone else, and I won't be the last. I just thought I'd gotten stronger about stuff like this.
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>>18382780
Rule number 1, I'm sure you've heard this before, nice guys finish last. Girls do not want the nice guy. I know that's what you see in movies ect. But that's not real life. Nice guys get used and set aside.
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>>18383170
Jesus wept. I'm not a "nice guy", people call me that, and I admit that I do think of myself as a "good guy", but not a nice one. Partly because I've come to shun that phrase(Thanks highschool) and partly because I'm simply human. I swear, I insult people, I stand my ground when people try to get one over me, and I give it just as hard as I get. The only thing is that I try to find resolutions to problems and not burn bridges. But if there is a bridge to be burned, I can and have done it.
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