Why are girls so complicated ?

>>18381651
You're wasting your time

>>18381651

>women do it more

mostly because they are the ones being pursued. dont get me wrong there are extreme gender differences but your ideas about them are skewed because you pursue women.

ive been on boht sides, pursuing men and women and i find that its really the same deal, the same 'games'.

in this case its not even a game though.

she literally told you shes not interested, you got the point, and just because she texts you you think 'wow she must be in love with me now' and then you get mad that shes rejecting you again.

she already rejected you a few times and you say 'WOW I GUESS ILL DO IT AGAIN' then when history repeats its self you say 'WHAT GAME IS SHE PLAYING?'

its not a game. shes okay being frineds, so she texts you as a friend. you are the one who keeps trying to escalate this

>>18381651
I'm just sick of this bullshit, either leave me alone or date me


The thing that I ate the most is that I remember almost all of my exes doing this to a degree or so. I was once caught in a break-up rollercoaster that lasted for more than a 40 days and consisted of ex texting me during every few days

What is wrong with people

>>18381661
The thing is we didn't know each other before, we just randomly met and exchanged numbers to start chatting. If it's not going to work than leave me alone, I don't want to be friends after flirting with you and dating you for a short while. We are likely never to meet randomly in person and never going to be "friends"

>>18381673

then say so. dont get mad at a girl for not reading your mind

>>18381651
Girls aren't complicated, they're just different to us. You're fed all this equality, men and women are exactly the same, etc. stuff but we're not, we have different chemicals reacting in different ways leading to different thought processes and different emotional reactions and blah blah blah. Understanding this is the first step.

You asked her out twice, been shot down twice, take the hint and move on. If she keeps trying to be your friend and you don't want to be just friends then tell her exactly that. If she keeps going anyway just ignore the bitch. It's not hard.

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>>18381689
>>18381678
I'd actually love to do just that. Ask her what is the situation between us and come straight without the flirting sign bullshit

Even though I know that would be the definite end, I would just love to know where I am at.

Why don't I ? Because somehow I still feel there is something between us, and doing that would ruin that. I hate uncertainty

>>18381704

so you're keeping the delusion alive even though there clearly isnt anything. you feel something so you assume someone else feels something but you're not different than a gay guy with a crush on a straight guy.

they've made it clear they just arent into you and were just friendly and now you insist there must be something there because you feel something.

trust me im there now. i just learned to compartmentalize and take what i can get without being a push over.

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>>18381704
>Why is she playing games with me reeeeeee
>Well stop being a faggot and tell her straight up what the deal is
>No I want to keep playing games with her reeeeeeee

Here's the thing about (most, not all) women: They don't really know what they want, and they get confused by their own feelings when they like someone.

If there's no spark/attraction at all, then it's definite. She never would've gone on a date with you, she never would've sent you those nice messages. If the answer is "no," it would be crystal-clear.

All this uncertainty means the answer is basically "yes, if you play your cards right." She enthusiastically agreed to a first date. You had (maybe still have) a chance. But at that point, YOU have to take the lead.

The thing is that (most, not all) women really want a man in their life to take the lead, and tell them what to do. They won't say it, they won't admit it to themselves, they'll do their best to teach the world it isn't true... but it is. You kind of have to stop asking them what they want, and just tell them what YOU want them to do.

It'll feel like unnatural "rude" behavior at first, but once you get into it, you'll find that you're both happier and more comfortable this way. A truly "equal" relationship is a very rare thing, there's usually a leader and a follower, and that isn't a bad thing at all.

Obviously there are limits to this - an emphatic "NO" obviously means "no," especially when it comes to sex. But all this uncertainty and "playing games" is really common even when she likes you. It means that she really wants you to cut through the bullshit, take the lead, make a plan and expect her to stick to it. It's kind of like a test, except she's genuinely not aware she's doing it.

>>18381733

this is all a good point too. a lot of people basically think 'well if the girl wont admit anything and dances around the subject that means she just wants us to dance around the subject'

but its not. going forward and just saying 'i really like you and want to be with you' isn't the answer either, the case is more of a 'actions speak louder than words' sorta deal.

when it comes to OPs girl though it seems like she was into you, had fun, and then the 'high' wore off.

you know like if oyu date a girl for a few months and then the feelings kinda fade cuz the excitement is over? girls can go through that in a matter of days (men too actually, just not as often)

Well I'd obviously want this to be happening
>>18381733
>>18381739
But it might be just me picking facts that please me and dismissing other

This however seems like painful truth
>>18381711

What would you suggest me to do ?
Me calling her on a date again is definitely not a choice

WWYD

>>18381753
Let this one go, and be a little more direct/assertive when you find a new girl

>>18381753

>WWYD

well it depends. there was onje guy i felt way too pasionate for and it was easier to just not see him anymore.

but the guy im totally crushign on now is just a lot of fun, and im still able to function (re: have sex with other people without feeling weird) while still hanging with him regularly, so i'm just enjoying the friendship.

urnequited feelings CAN be a beautiful thing.

in your case, id just stop talking to her. you assume talking means love and that she knows what you're thinking. she doesn't. so just stop talking to her, stop responding to her or at the very least say 'i have feelings for you and cant just be friends' and she'll tell you her two cents, likely rejecting you, and you can move on.

>>18381761
>im still able to function (re: have sex with other people without feeling weird)
What a sad fucking world we live in, when real love is "dysfunctional" and you throw it in the trash so you don't have to feel "weird" about giving your body away for nothing.

>>18381763

>real love is dysnfunctional

i wouldn't call it love, ive known him like 3 months i like him, but its not 'love'.

>throw it in the trash

its not in the trash. im gay, hes straight. were not going to date. and thats fine. i enjoy spending time with him and having him in my life until he moves at the end of summer anyways, so why not enjoy that.

>not feeling 'weird'

i dont feel weird cuz the feelings arent as intense as when im in love. even if its unrequited i stop sleeping with other people when im in a deep emotion.

>giving your body away for nothing

maybe you're a prostitute, but the rest of us have sex because its fun and healthy. I love having sex. most people do. it is not a commodity to be sold or exchanged, not for money, not for goods, not for services, and not even for emotion.

i love my self, so im happy having sex to please my self.

back to your street corner.

>make appointment with girl a week in advance
>she cancels the day before just before going to sleep
Do i have to entertain her every day until the apppointment or something.
What is this bullshit.

>>18381767
Is the west really this "progressive" about sexuality ?

I'm from eastern europe so sexuality is quite conservative, you have it with you gf/bfs exclusively (unless you're a douche) and if you're gay, we'll better keep to yourself and your lover. If you kiss with someone, well that person is now your partner

From what people talk here it seems I come from a more simple society ?

>>18381776

in some cases yes. in other cases no. its hard to say whats going through each persons head. in some cases you gotta talk to her every day, in some entertain, in others she was going to cancel no matter what.

>>18381777

>progressive
>simple

neither. im not progressive, cuz its not progress. you're not simple. we are just different. I like sex and believe i should be free. you believe it should be more conservative or specific.

we don't have to date or overlap so neither of us are wrong, people want different things and that's okay, unless it directly hurts each other I don't see the harm in you believing what you believe and me believing what I believe.

>>18381794
Look man, I have nothing against you or homosexuality, I'm talking cultures

Here, it pretty much seems everyone is more conservative and specific when it comes to relationship. I was just wondering is it differently where you live ?

>>18381804

i wans't referencing homosexuality rather sexuality its self.

your culture has one way of viewing it, and mine has another.

as for how its 'different' it is more 'loose' you could call it over here, but the culture varies from place ot place and family to family.

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what gets me the most is why cant they just tell me to my face they arent interested
I can take rejection, but jesus at least let me know, if you start conversations but whenever I ask you out you outright ignore me I get fucking upset. Next thing I stop replying to her altogether and now she's mad that im ignoring her

>>18381990
In my experience, 95% of people find it pretty much impossible to be direct & straightforward about anything. They're so afraid of confrontation or awkwardness that they just speak in code and hope to read each others' minds

>>18381996
but whats the point in replying if she ignores me after I respond

>>18381999
If she's ignoring you it's probably not gonna happen. I'm just saying you can take that as a "no" without expecting a direct rejection, because most of the time that's how it's gonna be. It sucks, I feel you, but we've all had these experiences

>>18382007
the thing is, she is starting the conversations and gets pissed when I ignored her
im completely out and away from her, but it was strange

>>18381678
Yet they want us to.

>>18382009
Then she's just really self-centered. She expects you to be there when she wants to talk, but has no problem doing her own thing when you want to talk. You'll save yourself a whole lot of aggravation if you just stop responding and delete her number

>>18381661
Shut up you gash, OP don't listen to this horseshit

>>18381990
Because women know that's some shit that will piss someone off, so they save face. The thing is though women never wanna tell you right off the bat. They let you dance like a fool and then when you actually think you've won her over is when she drops the bomb on you.

IMO women could save themselves so much trouble if they just grew a spine and flat out told a guy she wasnt interested the MOMENT he shows interest in her.

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>>18381663
Maybe she just wants to be friends, you can be friends with a girl but when she's hot dipshits like you OP think they're interested in you just because

>>18381999
Stop texting her stupid

Jesus christ you're her entertainment, cant you fucking see that? she talks to you when she doesnt have shit else to do, and the moment something comes up she forgets you exist

>>18382033
Not OP, but I'm pretty sure I dont have to give friendship if I dont want friendship. Women cant accept that. I went in with the intention of dating and or fucking you, not hang out buddy buddy shit. I have enough friends who fit better roles than you so your role is my romantic interest and that's it. Nothing more or less.

>>18382035
I'm the OP, I'm not texting her

That's some other dude that probably has a similar situation. And honestly this is the best advice

>deleting Laura from my head

>>18382035
All of this and then people ask why I dont trust people
I fucking wonder why

>>18382041
This

Why would anyone want to be friends after that much flirting. It's not a situation where you can look back and say
"Well we didn't date, we just had a drink as friends"

I asked you on a date, either we're dating or we're not afterwards, there is no inbetween

>>18381651
The problem is you texted her again. You got too invested bro. Let her come to you ALWAYS. Never overreach with girls because it reeks desperation. If a girl really wants you, she'll move heaven and earth to get with you. My advice is take it in stride. It's a part of the game and instead of getting your panties in a twist figure out what you may have done to turn her off and learn not to do that next time.

>>18381739
>>18381733
Its either this or she just likes attention from you
Like this anon
>>18381761

>>18382048
This, its actually scary how much a girl will go out her way for you if she likes you. For example look at girls who are into gymbros. These women will literally make themselves look like fools on purpose just so he can LOOK in their direction.

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>>18382048
What if I told you that I actually didn't ask her twice on a date. What if I told you that I played the mirror game

I added the bit in my story for the bigger effect, but desu, I never texted her after she rejected me
She kept texting me out of the blue, I just added that part to see if you guys would think that was(well actually would be ) a bad move


Does this change the situation

>>18382046
Yikes, that's certainly one way of thinking about it, can't say that I've never felt that way before at one time desu

Why does 4chan change

"t b h" to desu ??

desu desu
Desu Tbh

>>18382083
Nigga I just realized that!

>>18382089
I noticed this a few months ago on /pol/ where 4chan changed some word to "kawai". Can't remember which one

kek
senpai
imo
succ

>>18382096
there it is

It changed
"f a m " to senpai

>>18382070
No.

Why are you so hung up on this one girl man? That's the kiss of death.

Dating is a struggle man. Girls can be mean as all shit. You've got to realize how much hot girls get hit on on a normal basis. I was out with this cute Asian girl and the bartender was openly flirting with her right in front of me. Dude, girls get shitloads of attention all the time, so of course their perspective is completely warped when it comes to dating. They have options. What YOU need to do is not be the five hundred other chodes that ask shitloads of questions just to get in her panties.

Why don't you just let her go? Find someone else to text. Seriously, you say you don't want to play her games, but you're sitting here asking us exactly what the rules are. (i.e., what action to take) when you should just quit.

>>18382105
Me and you are on the same wave length ese, a lot of guys fail to realize that

>>18382118
not him but was in a similar position
it took me a shit ton of time to actually connect with a girl for the first time, to actually have someone care for you (looking back she was probably faking it). and the thought of losing that isnt something all that great

might be just me though

>>18382105
It doesn't help when she's as shallow as the chodes that hit on her all day

>>18382133
Exactly in this situation

I moved recently to the capital to go to collage and almost all of my friends got into collages in other cities. So far I made just a few friends and the only girls I had would be two 1-night stands I had on few occasions I returned to hometown

It felt kind of nice to have someone to care about here

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>>18382041
> I went in with the intention of dating and or fucking you, not hang out buddy buddy shit.
Women are called girlFRIENDS for a reason. If you are looking for a cheap fuck, buy a hooker.

Is it really going to kill you to send this girl a text every 5 days or so?

> Why would anyone want to be friends after that much flirting
Flirting is not an invitation to fuck. Flirting is just flirting. It's her testing whether or not you just have sex on the brain. You failed, so she dumped you in the friend zone.

Really, why is this so hard for guys?

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>>18382143
> She won't suck my dick on the first date
> She's so shallow REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Calm down Romeo. You had one date. Pick yourself up, go buy a new shirt and try again with some other girl.

>>18382159
I'm not wasting my money on a hooker, and in terms of girlfriend? says it right there in the word. You're a girl before a friend. Meaning I will treat you as a romantic interest and only when we're together is when a actual friendship can start. See women expect you to be super best buds from day 1. Fuck that, I have a plan and I'm acting on it, if the plan fails then I move on with my life, not take your sorry ass runner up prize.

That's not saying I cant talk to you or hang out, but if you reject me and then expect me to treat you like one of the boys just cause we hung out a few times, then you're sorely mistaken. Just like the boys, it didnt start on day 1. Took years of building up to an actual friendship with them and that's with people who share the same deep interests as me. yet you expect me to be best friends with a chick I only know on the surface level cause "I'm a douche if I only try to aim for sex or dating"

>>18382184
lol you completely missed my point. Good job buddy

>>18382159
Are you a woman? You sound like a woman. Who SORELY needs a dick in her mouth.

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>>18382159
No guy actually cares about the boring vapid interests, conversation and general company of a woman. Your wholes are the only worthwhile things about you and everything else is just part of the act needed to gain access to those holes.

Really, why is this so hard for girls?

>>18382190
You know man, I think it's just women like things that are an adventure. I mean, look at how women think of things. They watch movies with slow romantic build up and people relating to each other before they get pounded. I mean, girls want a narrative. They want excitement. They want to brag about you to her girlfriends and crush the hopes of betas yearning for her with her boyfriend. They want to say how cool he is, or how sweet he is. How people don't know how nice he really is even if he's a complete chode. It's not like sex isn't on their brains, but they want a story, and not seem like a slut. Slut shaming is real shit man, girls are so insecure they have to put a girl down that likes having sex with lots of guys.

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>>18382221
>you ar3e incapable of stimulating a discussion about speedforce
this gets me everytime

>>18381651
If a girl wants to talk with you randomly but always finds a way to get away from you for extended periods of time, then she isn't into you but wants to feel pursued/is lonely but doesn't want to actually be intimate with you.

Romantically, waste of time.

>>18381651
I feel the same but with men.

My boyfriend can spend a lot of time without contacting with me (like sending messages, phone callings...etc) and not regret it. However, when we're together he's warm and kind, very affectionate...

It looks like he forget me completely until we meet again (so sad, because we don't live together and it's difficult for me date him....)

>>18382232
I guess so man, I see your point. But at the same time that's her own personal problem. If she's insecure to the point where she thinks a friendship is absolutely necessary before sex or dating then I'm sorry that's on her. I'm only down to be your friend if I discover something that makes me want to hang and use my time on you. You're not my friend just cause you're a pretty face and I wanna fuck and that's where women have their little fragile world shattered cause they cant imagine a guy that only wants to fuck and only hangs around to fuck. Funny enough I've had some good friendships with women AFTER I fucked them. My original goal was to fuck, I did that, and she was still cool after so I decided to get to know her after getting the physical wants out the way.

Now this is not all guys, some guys really do entertain that friendship before sex shit, but I dont. I have no reason to.

>>18381804
I also live in eastern europe and do the no strings attached stuff, most of my friends do too infact, so it depends on the sort of people you interact with. Of course it happens more often in some cultures, but it's not as black and white as you make it out to be.