feeling pangs of hopelessness

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I always wanted to influence people. I wanted to be a star or a cult leader or maybe a journalist who would rock the world with her incomparable scoops. I want to make a difference in this world.

The problem is that I'm scared of others and I'm disgusted by humanity as a whole. I have pretty severe anxiety, so I'm too vulnerable to be a public figure. I simultaneously hate humans and need them.

>hates people
>loves people

Pick one. Get over the other one. No one cares which. Stop wasting your time harboring conflicting ideas in your head. Speaking of your head, get your shit together.

>>18379891
>>18379911
Get an eduction and or a job
Start working out
Develop skills, find a hobby etc
Stop telling yourself you were afraid of people, and in case you really are, go see a psychiatrist

>>18379949
>>18379911
Also it could help to stop woth that edgy "muh bad humans" crap, if you really are that disgusted of people go make a difference, help somebody, otherwise it is dumb to judge others. How old are you?

>>18379891
>depressed
Doubt it. Maybe sad and lost. Nothing new bf and chocolade wont solve.
>neet
Get a job. Anything will do for a start.

Good luck!

>>18379949
My anxiety is pretty bad. Crying in public bad. Bad enough to stop me from getting through college.

>>18379954
I'm not saying humans are bad, I've come to terms with that long ago. I guess I'm trying to say that life itself feels disgusting? It's complicated.

>>18379962
Love and chocolate feel pointless and neither currently interest me. I don't know what job to look for but the prospect frightens me.

>>18380009
Ok maybe you are getting close to actual depression.

Do you have parents? How can you afford being neet? Anybody you can ask for help? Shrink? Psychologist? Anybody able to slap you and force you out from your comfortable zone?

>>18380016
I live with parents. They haven't slapped me out of my comfort zone because I've been suicidal in the past and they're scared of making me hurt myself. I may be somewhat depressed now, but it used to be much worse.

>>18380009
I'm
>>18379949
>>18379954
In that case i think you really should go to a psychiatrist, besides, what do you mean with "life feels disgusting"?

>>18379911
Have you tried computer programming? It's where the money is these days.

>>18380026
I am medicated and I have seen therapists in the past. My mental health started going down the drain roughly a decade ago.

Life feels pointless. Nothing matters because in the end, everything dies. I just hate the way this universe works and I hate how we're just glorified animals, usually acting on emotions and impulses instead of logic. It all feels absurd.

>>18380036
That's a good idea, I guess. I just don't know where to start.

>>18380041
I see. I sometimes feel the same, but I think you shouldn't let that mindset destroy your life. Just spend your time with things you enjoy and make sure you can make living. If I were you I'd look for things you can do alone/at home since you said you're afraid of people. As far as I know there are many possibilities for working at home.

>>18380049
That is absolute stupid idea. Waste of time without proper education. Even if you do master it, all jobs will ask you why havent you spent the time getting official education.

>>18380023
>suicidal
GO TO PSYCHOLOG. Please. Go to your parents and tell them you wish to change and they have to make you go to psycholog!

Reach for help femanon.

>>18380057
There's nothing I enjoy these days. When I do things, it's just to distract myself from the gaping hole I feel inside myself. I play games and go to the beach so that I can temporarily forget the emptiness but in the end it's always there.

>>18380061
I've been to see shrinks. I'm better now than I've been in years thanks to new medication. I don't even know what I would tell a shrink at this point. I'm kind of scared of them, too. I gave up on getting a college degree after a few years of trying. I guess I could get a diploma online.

>>18380071
Do you have friends? You need to have things to spend your time with, I think finding something you are passionate about could help a lot. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hQXnvs9Ezn0

>>18380078
I can't get myself to care about friends these days. I get bored of them quickly. I used to have a few but I lost contact with them because, well, I just stopped caring.

>>18380071
>what would i tell a shrink
Exactly what you told the /adv. Scared of people, lost, no life goal and feeling sad. You can even tell this to your parents. Sharing pain and crying on ones shoulder in tight hug helps a lot.

Go talk to somebody, cry your pain out and ask for direction in life. Your parents love you, they will help you.

I promise you femanon it will get better once you reach out for help and open to somebody willing to listen to you.

I'm gonna up my dosage of antidepressants, I think. I also have some stimulants because the last psychiatrist I saw thought I had ADHD, those could come in handy for temporary mood boosts.

I'm going to bed.

>>18380088
I talked to my parents so much that at this point that they don't know what to do. They just freeze up, cry and lock themselves in their room because they're sure I'll kill myself in the coming years and they're already mourning.

>>18380080
So you are bored all the time and don't know what to do or what?

I've been talking about suicide for about ten years at this point, lol.

>>18380105
Have some more Kalkbrenner https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eESyxPOt-PA
Make sure you listened to all of his tracks in case you plan to kill yourself

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>>18380098
I guess the natural selection demands you to go.

Some people have it all and still cant survive. Good bye femanon.

>>18379891

Do you like getting fucked in the ass?

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Hey OP, I can fulfill you all night long.

This is going to sound like a serious case of easier said than done, but it really is as easy as "just get over it." Not in the sense of you'll overcome crippling anxiety in a day, but in a day-by-day, one step at a time sort of way. I recommend you begin with regular exercise, preferably outdoors to get some Vitamin D, this will improve your general outlook on things via manipulating brain chemicals. Get a hobby, even if it's an online course. It could be studying, videogames, reading or anything, just keep your mind active and learn as you go. Hopefully, you'll find yourself a goal and get some conviction and eventually overcome these problems you're facing.

>>18379891
Hey OP do you want some one to talk to privately every now and then? Just to get some extra conversation going? I can drop my Kik. I'm up for talking to someone if it'll help them.

>>18379891

LLlllllondon?

>>18380734
>>18380502
>>18380123
>>18380122
Fuck. Beat me to it

>>18379891
Read Meditations by roman emperor Marcus Aurelius.

http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/meditations.html