Dont know what to do...

File: 1454458036103.png (183KB, 370x359px) Image search: [Google]

183KB, 370x359px

I feel like I am drowning under the weight of the world.

I bought a house 1.5 years ago. At the time I had a job that I had been at for 8-9 years. I wouldn't say I was a "head honcho", but I was near the top of the totem pole and I got away with alot due to my position. (Showing up late, days off without much questioning and other perks). Sounds like a dream job right? It wasnt. It has been a toxic work environment from the very start and I have been feeling like Donnie Brasco the entire time. I had to make a change. I finally found a better job after 4-5 years of continuous resume pushing. Problem is, itis a 2 hour drive from my current house if traffic is good. If its bad...it can be a 3-4 hour drive. Now add your fuel expenses.

What I have been doing is secret and embarrassing. My wife knows. So when I go to work I stay there from Monday - Friday in a tent. I make all my meals over a fire or a coleman campBBQ. I fish to kill the time. I defecate in the woods or park washrooms. I sync wash/shower in gas station bathrooms, or the lake if it isnt too cold. If I ruin my clothes I sometimes buy new cheap ones from the local thrift store.

I know some people are thinking "omg thats the life..." WELL IT ISNT. im not with my wife or my kids 5 days a week. I got no internet. I have to go to McDonalds to use internet to facetime my family. You know what its like talking to a phone alone in public? You look like a fuckin idiot. My coworker asked if I drove home everyday and I said no i stay here in a hotel. He said which one and I had to make up a name and location. He asked to come drink beer after work and out of embarrassment I said sorry I dont feel very good. Im in McDonalds right now writing this.

Oh yea...and i cant sell my house because the market crashed in the area. And the new area i work house prices are in the 400,000$ min range. But this job pays 8$/hour more plus pension...i dont know what to do. I want to keep it for my wife but i feel like a lonely hobo.