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I ruined my boyfriends hobby. I feel a lot of regret about it he is now a shut in like I am.
Him and a female in his hobby's group were getting close and affectionate, they both kept insisting it was platonic and there was no way a romantic relationship would come from it.
I didn't think it was normal, I've only ever been called names and put down by people. My boyfriend was the first person irl to call me anything nice, so I went really mad when he was calling her nice things. But it seems like its normal for women to receive compliments.
Long story short, I went straight up crazy, I harassed both of them, I begged them both to stop talking. It got to the point where my boyfriend dropped his hobby and all his friends.
My insecurities and jealousy ruined my boyfriend. I've accepted that I'm the abnormal one in the situation and that it was my fault for taking it all too far. I don't know what I can do to help him go back to his hobby and I can't get over the guilt.
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Tell him that you know you're unhealthily jealous and possessive. Tell him how you feel with the intention of getting past that, and apologize for losing your cool. Is his hobby at all an interest to you? Maybe you and this girl could become friends once you apologize to her, tell her you're dealing with being insecure because you're used to guys treating girls like shit so when your boyfriend was nice to her it put you in an unhealthy mindset but would like to work past that?
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>>18377932>>18377971
Why are you are both larping and samefaging at the same time
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>>18377971
That is some good advice, thanks. I am interested in his hobby but I'm not sure if it would be a good idea for me to join or to meet this girl again. I went way over the top with how crazy I was towards her. It doesn't sound like a horrible idea but I am worried about being humiliated if it goes badly. I'm going to work on getting past the unhealthy jealousy for sure that's something really important to me.
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>>18377978
I'm not OP. Also where this LARPing? It's just a good idea to be honest, apologize and made amends.
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>>18378016
Well definitely apologize to your BF and lift the friend restrictions, encourage him to pick up his hobby again. Sounds like you need to find your own hobby and maybe more female friends tho.
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>>18377932
I've never heard of anyone's hobby "getting close and affectionate".
Do you mean they were harmlessly flirting? You went about it the wrong way, but if flirting with other women made you uncomfortable, you could have voiced your concern to him and the two of you should've talked about it
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>>18378045
Yeah harmless flirting. I told him I didn't like it and it didn't stop so I ended up escalating to a crazy level. But it seems harmless flirting is just something people do. I was in a really shitty mindset back then.
I'd go back and change how I reacted if I could but that's not realistic.
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>>18378045
Also I worded the hobby part weird sorry for the confusion
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It sounds like you're not really secure about yourself, but it's totally understandable why you would get jealous in that situation. It looks like you've learned from it so I wouldn't beat yourself up too much.
>But it seems harmless flirting is just something people do
It is. Some people flirt with everyone, but still. If it made you uncomfortable he should have respected your feelings.
>I told him I didn't like it
How did he handle that?
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