Age gap

>>18377872

define 'work out'?

traditionally this would not be even a big deal, but there were less options back then.

either way, yeah plenty of people with a 9 year gap make it til one dies, but you don't need ot enter a relationship with the intent to make it to death together.

you will have LOTS of relationships in life. only ONE can be the one that makes it to 'the end'. so why not just enjoy everyone who comes your way and discover for your self what works for your personal needs?

When I met my boyfriend I thought he was in his late 20's, but he's nearly 40 and I'm around mid 20's. I genuinely believe we have a long and happy future in front of us. The age gap hardly ever comes up.

So yes, I think it's possible, but I think you really have to vibe well for it to work. We are passionate about pretty much all of the same things, want to write books and direct movies together, and learn from each other all time. We're growing together and it isn't just some weird age gap fetish or that he can't date women his own age. Been together two years.

>>18377872
>tfw no gf

>>18377872
Yes.

My parents were 18 years apart and it worked out just fine.

>>18377872
As long as the both of you are at similar points in your lives and have some shared interests, then the age gap shouldn't matter. The reason most age gap relationships don't work out is primarily due to having no similar interests/hobbies or one being already past what the other has yet to experience. The social stigma from friends and family also puts some stress in the relationship, but it seems like your family is all for it so from what you've said, I really don't see how the 9 year gap is much of an issue.

>>18377878
>'work out'
Be together till one of us dies.

I really have an hard time with casual dating. It is not made for me. It stresses me a lot - I hate instability, I hate getting to know people, I hate going with the flow. I like structure, order and clear expectations.
I tried to do it for a while when I was a little bit younger and it fucking killed me.

I really hope I won't have LOTS of relationship.

>>18377879
We met while hiking. I often go with my parents and he was hiking alone, so he just kinda tagged along.
We talked from the whole day. He's really into a lot of the things I like, so we have very stimulating conversations and he just makes me feel very positive in general.
He also didn't flirt with me at first (I look younger than my age too, he thought I was 20) and just later after we spent basically the whole day talking he started being flirty.

He didn't seem like the kind of man who has trouble finding a woman his age, or attracted to me solely because of my youthfulness.

>>18377881
You kinda exposed me on /r9k/ once so I don't even feel any sympathy.

>>18377888
That's really lovely to hear. I'm glad.

>>18377907

then why not go for an arranged marriage? you dont have to get to know them, you just know you have to serve them til you die.

>>18377906
We haven't discussed about "where we are in life" yet.
But, yeah - we have a similar lifestyle from what I could tell this far, and shared hobbies aren't an issue at all since we are very into the same things.

My parents are crazy about him. I don't know about my friends, tho.

>>18377909
I tried to convince my dad to find me a husband a couple of years ago, but he said that he cannot scam a man into marrying me.
I just don't like dating, I find the whole thing very stressing. Not for me.

>>18377907
Give a date a try and see how it goes, like >>18377878 said, just enjoy the company and see where it brings you.

>>18377907
Sorry, but I lied. He actually cheated on her and she was blamed by everyone. Age doesn't necessarily equate to honesty or maturity, but it's why many women seek out older men. Take the time to really get to know him. If you think he's funny, wise, and potentially a good match, you should pursue him.
>>18377881
Why did you delete your thread about being unable to approach women?

>>18377907
When did I expose you on r9k

>>18377872
My father is 25 years older than my mother and yes they broke up six years later I was born. The age gap was too big for them but when I ask my dad about it he says that those six years were the best in his life.
I believe not starting a relationship just because of an age gap is quite nonsensical. I mean 9 years is not even that big of and age difference as it seems so if you like him go for it and if you are going to broke up a few years later because of it so what? What are you afraid of exactly? That you will be used goods and no one will ever love you anymore? Do you want these kinds of thoughts control how happy you allow yourself to be in your life?

>>18377942
It got deleted I didn't delete it
blue board must mean blue pilled

>>18377945
>When did I expose you on r9k
A month ago or so? I don't remember.
You linked a post I made in the Ask the opposite gender anything thread.

>>18377942
Why did you have to break my heart like this? :(

>>18377947
I detest the thought that I might invest emotionally in someone and then things don't work out because of something I could have seen coming.
I accept the possibility of being brokenhearted, because when you love someone is sort of part of the deal, not the possibility off feeling stupid because I let myself grow attached in spite of some major red flag.

I know it's silly to be like this, and it's probably because I'm a bit of a control freak and detest letting myself go, but.

>>18377966
Well you said it yourself. In relationships we make ourselves vulnerable and that will never change. And why we do that? Because it is worth it and it makes our life much more intriguing. If your spend your time on this planet only worrying and controlling every single aspect of your life so there isn't any possibility for you to fail you will be end up miserable because not hurting yourself is not what this life is about.

Trust me I know this first hand. I spend my whole life making sure no one has the chance to hurt me and it bite me in the ass. The fact that you don't want to get yourself hurt is the very act that makes you hurting in the end. So don't fall into that trap.

>>18377953
Because the real world is difficult and it doesn't always work out the way you want it to, but you shouldn't let outcome anxiety affect your decisions. There's the very real possibility it won't work out, but on the other hand he could be a great guy and you should be prepared for either outcome. Like every relationship you just have to take a chance and judge every individual by their own merit. He sounds like a really great guy, and age is only an obstacle if you perceive it as such. That's enough overthinking it, go ahead and date the guy if you're crazy on him, and see how it goes.
>>18377949
We need a red advice board.

>>18378012
I kinda live on damage control mode. He asked me out 3 hours ago, and I'm sitting here, thinking about how horrible I'd feel if I said yes, we started dating, I let myself grow attached to him, we broke up because of the age gap, and it was something I could have avoided just by being wise and dating someone "safer". It's not the possibility of being vulnerable that scares me most, it's the possibility of feeling dumb because I could have avoided it by making wiser choices.

I know it is ridiculous, and probably by not taking a chance with him I'll hurt myself more than I will by taking a chance.
I really will never learn to "go with the flow". Chill people stress me.

>>18378013
He is a really great guy, on top of being a fucking cutie and actually interesting intellectually.

>>18378047
>thinking about how horrible I'd feel if I said yes, we started dating, I let myself grow attached to him, we broke up because of the age gap, and it was something I could have avoided just by being wise and dating someone "safer"

There's no way you could predict that OP, it's not realistically possible. There's nothing to beat yourself up over, and if it happens it's not because of anything you did. Don't think about hurting yourself or not hurting yourself. If you like the guy, go for it. If you don't, that's fine too. All I'm saying is if there was an intellectual man asking me out I would be all over him.

>>18378067
>All I'm saying is if there was an intellectual man asking me out I would be all over him.
He is an University professor, extremely well read, into history, politics, philosophy and art. Travelled the world, cheers for my favourite football team and really loves all the autistic hobbies I have.
I was basically deciding the name of our children after 15 minutes we were talking.

I'll text him that I want to go out with him. Thanks for all the advice.

>>18378094
Awesome. I hope you have a great time