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Anonymous
how to free myself, not be a bitch, and be open to other people 2017-06-02 04:24:24 Post No. 18375406
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how to free myself, not be a bitch, and be open to other people 2017-06-02 04:24:24 Post No. 18375406
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how to free myself, not be a bitch, and be open to other people
Anonymous
2017-06-02 04:24:24
Post No. 18375406
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Autist here.
So, a year has past in college and oh boy. I literally haven't made any friends besides getting cozy with my roomies. Ouch.
>really bad body image issues, might(?) be justified
>feeds into social anxiety, so I feel tense when out
>think I might come off like a bitch to most people, get asked "what's wrong?!" a lot
>am pretty monotone. Not always - sometimes I break it to make a joke or something, but nothing more than that
>during talk with therapist: "I'm afraid that I come off as...intimidating" and she went "really? You seem more...distant more than anything"
>admire passionate, spontaneous people--they inspire me, fill me with life. I wanna be like them
>tfw don't know if I have that in me, am emotionally stifled
>only display full spectrum of human emotion and am passionate (also happy, which is rare) when drunk
There's one moment that really made me realize how much of an awful human being I am (with or without my insecurities)...
One of the rare times I was out, I sat down at the student cafe and this wonderful cute girl actually asked to sit next to me despite there being plenty of open tables. And then I went ahead with my assignment like some sort of worker drone while she attempted to chat with me...
...I got up and heard the saddest "well, see you..." while I basically assumed that she wasn't interested in being my friend and was just talking for formality's sake. Usually I realize my blunders hours after the point--like a shower thought; "oh, shit. I am a monster." And for whatever reason, this regret has stuck with me the longest.
So. Yeah. I can feel as if I'm being "scorned" by the public, but as you can see I FUCKED up when I could have made a friend.
Always bought into the "personality being the most important" thing, trust me. Yet here I am. Unable to be myself (aside from a childhood best friend who's no longer with me)...and, to hell with it all, I don't even know who I am anymore.
So, guys, what should I do?
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You are just insecure as fuck. Stop overthinking shit and relax. You gotta work on your self image because that's the root of all your problems imo
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>>18375423
You're right but there's still more to it.
>honestly don't know what to say a lot of the time
>almost nonexistent sense of humor
>feels as if I'm simply empty
I know talkative people can be annoying but, sometimes, they make me feel inadequate. I never seem to have any stories to tell, or any ideas as to how to connect to someone meaningfully.
Even if I was *relaxed* when I had met that girl I probably would have struggled with talking to her.
Anyway...will an acting/improv class help me out? I'm forced to attend school during the summer anyway.
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Bump~
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>>18375590
>Anyway...will an acting/improv class help me out? I'm forced to attend school during the summer anyway.
Actually, it might. I took one theater class in high school and my parents said they noticed a change, albeit not super dramatic. It just helped me to speak my mind more and feel slightly less uncomfortable while socializing. Took another acting class in college and again regained some confidence after also spending a year alone. Just like you. So try it out. You might even make some friends, too.
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>>18375590
Sounds like you would get pwnd in that situation. Improv is for outgoing people who can act. You cant do either. The problem is you are being yourself and yourself sucks. Tosh.o had this same problem so he basically just pretended to be outgoing (and douchey) to deal with it. It made people laugh. Fake it until you make it is a first step. Its a long process. Years.
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>>18375985
Hmm? I can act. Very well, actually, I'm scary good at being other people--fuck, even when I "fake" emotion I feel it as if it's my own. So, yeah. Maybe I should be faking it like you say. Telling myself I "can't" do something instead of believing and acting like it is the worst thing I can do...
The improv class is only after two acting class. Maybe by then I will be able to take it.
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