GIOYC - Get it off your chest

Why was I not good enough for you Abbie?

When will this streak of bad luck fucking end !?

Hey ______,

Shoot me a message, I miss you.

Love,
____

>>18373705

Aw, I miss you too.

>>18373711
:( I wish you were my person.

>>18373668
I love goth/emo girls and have a thing for tickle torturing them, weird huh?

>>18373714

lol I wish you were my person too <3

How do I get over a girl I haven't seen or talked to in 4 years? She was a really good friend of mine back in college and I fell in love with her. I have tried to date a few different girls over the past couple years but none of them came close and didn't last more than one or two dates or a few weeks of talking. I think about this girl every fucking day. I sent her two messages on Facebook last year (5 or 6 months apart, first one was just wishing her a happy birthday). Second one was more in depth and personal, apologizing for how I basically threw away that friendship and telling her how much l I missed her and that I wanted to hear from her again. She never responded to either. Obviously, that's bad news for me. But I just have stuff I still want to say to her and get real closure, stuff even I'm not pathetic enough to send in a Facebook message out of the blue. I just don't know how to move on from this at all. A big part of me doesn't want to I suppose because she's the only person I've ever felt this way about, but it doesn't seem like I have a choice.

>>18373717

>She never responded to either.
I think that means stop. Not entirely sure LOL, but I think you'll need to get over it.

I think we've about covered everything. now what are we going to talk about in person? we'll think of something I'm sure.

Why did you let my feelings develop for so long. I cant stop thinking about you Eliza. I loved you. Fuck it man, I still love you. I know you dont feel the same way but you didnt have to date me because you felt bad. My family situation is only getting worse and every day I just wish I could end it all but never manage to do it. In the back of my mind I know it would only make you feel guilty. Now I'm stuck. I'm popular, I look attractive, force a smile every day, yet nobody knows how much im suffering.
>sorry if this shit is cringeworthy I just needed to vent.

I should be talking to random women to train my skills but it feels like a waste of time to approach women i dont find attractive and i seldom see a girl i like on first sight which apparently changes when you get more experienced.

Ugh, I can't forget about you. I can't bring myself to delete those photos and nice things you said to me. Why?? They weren't even real.. yet I'm sad I've lost you. And I'm tired of myself.

I do feel like I'm being interrogated though. how many people are involved? how important am I right now? I'm curious lol. I sense the humor and sarcasm of a couple different people.

I've not lied in anything I've said to you. not once. I might want to clarify, I am am not leet and everything I do is legal...ish... not in europe. but I mean having a butter knife in europe is problematic so fuck them.

In being nice, you only led me on. In being neglectful you just caused me to lash out.

I'm free from you, not the other way around. What I didn't realize was you were actually afraid of me leaving. So you crippled me. You knew everything that was wrong with me and you never helped, you kinda just fed the comfort I got from my sadness.

I wasn't wrong in my actions, not like you made it seem. You were. I wasn't the one that abandoned you, the reality is that you left long ago, you just never told me.

Even now I played into your game. You continue to act like nothing happened between us, you say nice things but continue to treat me like shit. You apologize for being the way you are now and you continue to do it again and again. Empty words, hollow apologies is all I get from you. Just like when we were together I was the only trying to figure us out, trying to make things work, but you? Only broken promises.

You made me feel as if I was the bad guy for wanting to spend time with the person I loved. Made me feel the jerk, the villain. In the end all you had to say for what happened was that you thought you were getting in the way. Lies. I was the one ready to commit my all for you. The one willing to set aside my dreams to be a family. You on the other hand? You were ready with excuses and reasons, fears of yourself. I saw that and wavered in my resolve. I should have been stronger, I wasn't. I wish I was, but I can start now by saying goodbye.

I wish I could leave tonight. I would not think twice. Fuck these people.

>>18373736
Maybe you're the one that's not being real. The pictures the words, I meant them all. Sure, I may have said them in fearful desperation, but I meant them. I still do. Lost me? No, but you sure are trying. If only you were more honest with what you wanted, instead of acting this way. Be open, and I'll listen. Keep going like this, I don't know what to say beyond just the word resentment.

Eden, I fucking love you. But you fucking hate me. I fucking miss you, but you fucking despise me. What have I done to deserve your stupid ass.

There's an event coming up in a few months. Would love to go, but a group of people who fucking hate me are going. At the same time, I have no friends and would probably have a shitty time being alone, again, even though I honestly do try to make friends. I'm just weird and awkward, I guess.
I wish I weren't so sensitive so I could confidently go, but I guess I will just stay at home and be alone until I die. Only a few more decades, right?

>>18373848

I really miss you. I'm sorry I keep messing up. I don't know what to do to fix it.

>>18373935
Talk to me. That's all you have to do.
Talk to me, and I will respond.
Be honest and open with me and I will do the same.
Maybe you're scared, I get that, or/and confused. But if you fear losing me, you have to do something to keep me as well.
I miss you as well, I think I have said it many times. I need you to say it. I need to hear it from you.
I have been reaching out, I need you to do the same. Take hold of me and I will hold back, and I promise to never let go.

But you need to move as well, not just me. You know how to contact me, all you have to do is risk it and do it. I been waiting, but I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to hold. I need you, and I miss you.

>>18373949
lol I'm going to an event in about a week where a large group of people that are going to hate me are going. to make it more fun, I've made myself somewhat of a possible local target because unrelated reasons. who cares if people that don't like you are going, I'm still going to a thing where someone could try and hit me with a bike lock. gonna talk to all the friendlies too.

just go.

>>18373957

>I miss you as well, I think I have said it many times.
>I need you to say it. I need to hear it from you.
>I have been reaching out.

I-I don't think you're my friend, anon. This must be the wrong person lol, bc I sent you so many messages. You would know how I feel.

>>18373957
>>18373950
This is for you then.

But seriously, I am waiting. I will try to keep doing so, but you need to be courageous as well and talk to me. Bute back that uncertainty. We never knew what to do, but together we tried. I want to keep trying. To keep learning together.

>>18373973
I will burn 4chan servers to the ground.

Why?
This is a terrible feeling anon.
It sucks to feel it. No body should have to feel this way.

>>18373988
The bottom on is me. Also >>18373957
But you and I share this feeling. I doubt we are each other's anons, but I know how that feels. It's painful and causes headaches.

Sometimes just a "hi. How are you?" Would mean a lot, but you get nothing, or when they do reply they just skim over what you wrote and reply to the trivial parts.

It's exhausting, and saddening.

>>18373998

lol aw, too bad. A missed connection. Well, I guess we both have to just move the fuck on, won't we? GL anon. It was fun (and confusing) to talk to you lol.

I'm a second year cognitive science major hoping to go to grad school in some sort of health profession (right now I'm leaning towards genetic counseling). I have pretty decent grades (~3.4, depending on how you calculate it), but I've been having trouble deciding on what my plans will be for the next year. I've been thinking about this a lot, and asking different people, but maybe I need a more objective opinion. I have to make this decision by June 1st, as this is the date I must submit an SIR or decide not to. Here are my options-

Option #1: return to my current school

Top 40 private school on the east coast, and is the most "prestigious" on the list. However, it's upwards to twice as much in terms of cost, and really far from home. The opportunities are supposedly good, but as it was my first semester I wasn't quite sure how to make use of them. Not sure how much I like or dislike it so far, but the cost does concern me especially if I'm not particularly enjoying or appreciating it.

Option #2: return to my previous school

Mid-tier UC, still relatively far from home but at least it's in state and cheaper. I have a good amount of friends that I know would at least hang out with me. I left because I didn't like the culture of the school. I'm not sure if I made the right choice, or if I will in the coming weeks. Part of me just believes that I don't like college at all and I'm doomed to be unhappy about it ):

Option #3: go to alternative UC

Both the UCs I'm considering transferring to are also mid-tier. I've already been accepted, so it's just a matter of me SIR-ing, which must be done by tomorrow. They are both pretty close to home. One has less opportunities but has more people I know and more chances at me enjoying myself, and the other has a lot of pre-health resources and is in a better area.

is it actually you that answers your email? cause if it is, then i have no idea what's going on. if it isn't then that makes things make more sense.

Not everything needs closure. Not everything gets a clean end. Not everything needs closure. Not everything gets a clean end. Not everything needs closure. Not everything gets a clean end.

It is easy to move on. I have nothing to gain from obsessing about it. It is easy to move on. I have nothing to gain from obsessing over it. It is easy to move on. I have nothing to gain from obsessig over it.

I have to repeat this until I believe it. I have to stop investing so much energy into dead ends. I have to stop thinking that everything has a deeper meaning and that I'm surrounded by plots to deceive me.

I have to accept this. I have to absorb this. I have to learn again how to be contained.

>>18373668
It feels really shitty That the girl I like Just went on a date with a friend of mine while she didn't even give me a chance

I can't believe I walked away like that, I didn't realize it was you until later.

I want to see you again, I'm afraid I'll never have an opportunity like that again.

>>18373668
benis

I fucking hate my friends because all they do is make fun of me. They say that I'm stupid and when I ask why, they try to justify it, but they are all shitty reasons. They try to make me conform and turn me into something I'm not. and they also make fun of my family and make jokes about me committing suicide. But they are literally all I have. i just want them to either change their attitude or after graduation I'll never talk to them if they keep this up

>>18373717

I guarantee you that you have some unhappiness that you are attributing to you "not getting over" this girl, when in reality that unhappiness is not related to that girl, but to general life things, like your current friend group, job, family, church, etc.

I suggest that you work on improving your life in general, and the successes and lessons that come from that will bury this girl in your mind over time; you'll be happy with yourself, and girls won't matter so much to you that you have to focus on just one for so long.

Or, if it's not that, just try to find the right girl for you. It sounds like you haven't yet, and I guarantee you, if you make the effort, you'll find a girl you like the same or more as the other girl.

I can't bring myself to do anything. Even spending time off feels like a chore. I have no idea what to do with my life.

your cowardice and my big mouth padre

>>18374330
All of that advice is good, so thank you, I appreciate your thoughts. I am unhappy in a lot of ways and have been for the past few years (career I went to school for hasn't panned out, didn't get into grad school, live at home with my mom, etc), but all the same my feelings for this girl are still genuine. I miss her, I've never connected with a girl like I did with her. Sure, I'm a bit hung up on those good times in general, but more than anything I just want to talk to her again. I miss having that. I suppose there could be someone just as good or better for me out there, but I sure as hell haven't met her. My heart just wants what it wants and I am beginning to wish it didn't.

I know you been reading the stuff I post here. Not sure how you ended up here, but I know you know.

IP, I don't know which is you, but I want you to know that I miss you.
I am frustrated at our situation, but I still don't have anything but love for you.
You have been strange lately, and you have made all this harder than it should be.
All I want is to talk things out.
You have wanted me to grow up? Well, I ask the same from you.

Talk to me, communicate with me. Like an adult, not like two teens, not like we met, but as the man and woman we are today. Know that I would never turn you away. I have known you for years, I know you are scared to even think about trying.
Be brave, at least enough to talk. You have nothing to lose.

>withdrawing from uppers
>stomach hurts from overeating but still have MASSIVE appetite
>slept like 15 hours today and yesterday, missed my classes and psychiatrist appointment (lmao), not sleeping at night
>got extremely hostile and paranoid and cut off my only friend

I don't know if I should start using again. It helped me so much but I hate being dependent. Does anyone here have ADHD? What did you decide to do?

at one point do you just learn to accept your own bitterness and pessimism (or realism)
or how do you?

>>18373668

Hey G, or "rumpel" as you were during that stage

We're over, and thats alright cause the night I/we fell in love I had no aspiration to make you mine whatsoever because I thought such efforts would be fruitless. Cause you're amazing, incredible, fascinating, complex, and real Irish beauty. Little did I know you felt the same and our thing happened, it was short and sweet, effectively over before it began because of that reason.

I fucked it up, but I learnt lessons I forgot to keep in mind, better luck next time!

G
x

Sigh. I chickened out. Oh well.

I'm so infatuated with someone that they're all that fills my mind. I have trouble concentrating on anything else. I'm constantly checking to see if he messages me back. How the FUCK do I get over this? It's obvious he doesn't feel the same way. I went full retarded and told him how I feel and it's not going anywhere. God fucking dammit I'm sad and super pissed off at the same time. FUCK

Today I laughed at myself and I bought some cool pens. And I burned my hand. lol oh, the little things.

>>18373668
I just want to fuck an attractive woman. It's been too long since I got to spread a female's ass.

I have 3 fucking seizures a night and you pricks do nothing about it. Worse, you keep denying it even happens.

I'm fucking dying and you won't even give my medicine that helps me relax.

Fuck all of you.

I need a woman to fuck me so badly. I am so fucking sick and tired of being a 27 year old virgin. I just want to experience this so I can finally feel like a man. I need this burden to be lifted from my shoulders. I don't want to be alone, feeling like a complete failure at life anymore.

>>18374663
Feel the same way. It's the worst feeling in the world...drowning sorrows in Jameson lol.

>>18374663
Ahh, I feel you, I feel you so bad. Haven't got to telling him how I feel, but I'm sure it's not reciprocated. And I've been there so many times. Forget about him, and if you have female friends, have a get-together with them. Well, unless you're a man I guess.

I accidentally butt texted this girl i used to be friends with but broke contact. She got clingy and when i moved on to university i took that opportunity to sever all contact. I never officially told her to fuck off but apparently 2 years of silence and ignoring her messages weren't enough for her to take a fucking hint.

She tried contacting me a year ago to which i allowed, thinking we could rekindle our friendship, for her to pull her usual crap, and i decided it wasn't worth it. Didn't say a word to her since.

Now i accidentally sent her a message, to which i had to apologize for, and her reaction right off the bat was "why don't you talk to me anymore".

What i want to say is that i regret keeping her close when she made me so uncomfortable, she's too fucking much to handle and all i want is to never see her again.

Again, i know i was an idiot for not settling this before and allowing her to believe we were friends so i suppose ending things on good terms is out of the question right now. But what am i supposed to say to that?

>>18374707
I'm drinking wine to forget too

>>18374715
I'm not a man lol. I have a good female friend who lives near me but it's a work night. I'm just going to drown my sorrow in alcohol

>>18374188
Are the one asking for closure? Or the one that's being asked of?

Because if you aren't getting closure, this is a good attitude.
If you are stringing someone along without giving it to them because it makes you feel better, then you're a pretty crap human being.

>>18374736
Does not help. All men suck lmao.

Which is such a banal and nonsensical generalization to form. Yet is cathartic.


it feels so bittersweet. On one hand I'm happy I can feel this way again. It just means I'm not dead inside. We will find another femanon.

Well that's it. I don't know. I just can't sense any interest from him. He's single, he's straight, he just ignores me. I'm thin and we have things in common. Is my face ugly? I guess it might be. Or maybe he can tell I'm a weirdo.
Am I gonna have to settle for a guy who only likes me for my nerdy interests? I think they're the only ones who want me. Well, no. Maybe those and ugly guys.
Or am I just, not used to talking to normal men? Could be. I should just give up on this one and keep meeting people.

>>18374749
Ahhhh I know I'll still live without him but it just fucking sucks. Thanks, I needed to hear that. Good luck to you and your situation too.

>>18374796
Just remember to not let it consume your life. Care for yourself ^___^

if that was you, and you can't make it, tell me. I'd do it all myself but I'm not in a position for that at the moment. I'm moving north anyways. but you've gotta talk to me.

i'm done with selfish people.

i won't even bother worrying about people who don't have the mental capacity to see beyond their own feelings. tired of people i love not giving a shit about me as long as i seem like i won't leave them.

>>18374531
>I know you been reading the stuff I post here. Not sure how you ended up here, but I know you know.
Um, are you sure dude? I find it very unlikely.

I can't say there's much I even want anymore. A nice place to grow some things and learn some things and raise animals and then die, I guess. I have experience doing it all, I suppose I just have to bullshit some years of a career to get there.

man, if I could leave here right now I would go up there and get you myself. I'm doing what I can with this timing. but I got nailed pretty hard and the helicopter I ordered is on hold lol.

if you can get here, I'll make it worth your while. if you can't then you've gotta wait about a month until I get up there. and you've gotta talk to me better than this.

also, you lost the email, didn't you?

>>18374818
>mental capacity to see beyond their own feelings.
Can you beyond yours?
We like to think we do when we only give a sort of pseudo-empathy.

>>18374843
i feel whatever other people in the room are feeling at any given time. my independent feelings only come out at rare times. though i don't know for certain if i'm just projecting onto other people i think my empathy is real.

>>18374663
yeah, I told someone probably too much and I don't think he feels the same way I do either. I think maybe I'm reading into shit just a little too much. it was a long shot anyways and I'm pretty used to this though so we'll just see how this goes.

Nic, you fucked me up so bad. No one is going to be as stupid loyal to you as I was. Though I don't know if that will matter to you since you'll stick your dick into anything with a pulse

Please stop talking about me in third person, as if I'm not even there, when I'm in the same room as you... I keep asking you to stop but no progress has been made. Your friends do the same thing. Please make it stop. Please use my name and not just my pronouns.

>>18374918

Don't trust guys named Nick. They're shitheads.

Just an attempt to get black raptor on the horn

Reply if you are there

ray god damn it you already told me you like me and flirted with me for a while but now youre pushing me away (again)
make up your damn mind!!!!
and stop playing that "im so lonely, dont leave me behind" card when you push me away, it pisses me off
i just want to love you without wanting to bash my head in

I need to stop falling in love outside of my marriage. I just can't seem to stop the infatuation; it's the only place I find excitement, even though I have no intention of acting upon it.

Is it get frustrated by guys day today on gioyc? Lol, I'm with all of you sisters

So I text girls that are attractive on the regular while having a girlfriend for 5 years now. She found out by going through my phone when I was passed out drunk.

The thing is I never had any ambitions of cheating, just wanted to talk to some other girls in a promiscuous manor.

But now I'm starting to realize I don't want to be with her anymore. I've been doing triathlons for the past 2 years...I bought my GF a bike last year that cost $600 and she fucking refuses to ride it. She continues to gain weight while I'm losing weight. The more I think about it the more it pisses me off.

The shittiest thing about this is her dad died 3 months ago and if I leave her I would be the biggest dick in the world. No idea what I'm going to do.

>>18375057
Well she already found out about the texting, so it's a bit late not to be a dick. Just break up with her, give her the chance to date someone who actually wants to be with her. Dating her when you don't want to is not the kind thing to do.

>>18375057
Gotta break up with her ASAP anon. Sorry to say, you are the bad guy and it will hurt her badly, but there's no keeping this up and the relationship is fucked.

How the fuck am I supposed to get over this crush that I have on my best friend who's married? It doesn't fucking help that he's flirted with me and made shady comments like how if he were single we'd be a near perfect match. Or saying shit like this regarding the friendship that we have: "Where both parties like each other a lot and actually want to spend time with each other and talk to each other and are sad when they can't."

I hate it because he's my closest friend. I genuinely want to have him in my life because I care about him deeply. But I know there's no way out besides limiting contact and stop being close.

This is so fucking twisted. It's so fucked up. Am I paranoid for thinking that he's being a touch sinister and trying pull a power play on me?

I've been cheating on my incredibly successful and powerful GF with some shitty nobody with bipolar. I caught the latter lying to me. Didn't give a shit if she fucked other people but she still lied to me....

I am hurt and want to hurt her, but I need to be the big person (why hurt someone barely hanging on man..).

I guess I've also learned to be grateful someone so incredible loves me, even if the sex sucks..

>>18375065
You only want him because he's married and you can't have him. Otherwise, he'd be friendzoned.

>>18375065
Have you ever asked him how he felt about you.

I was in a similar scenario, had nothing but green lights, but she said she didn't feel the same.

As for how to get over him, get under someone else, only thing that worked for me.

I'm going on a date in a few weeks and I'm very nervous. I've liked the guy in question for nearly a year, and we were friends during that time, but he was pursuing another girl, so I braved up and confessed my feelings for him a few weeks ago. He said he recently started feeling things for me, but Im afraid I'll be so anxious on the date that his feelings will subside. He really wants to see me, but I can't help but be fearful. I've liked him for so long. I'll never forgive myself if I blow this...

I don't want to graduate. The thought of living on my own, holding down a job and doing the stuff the rest of the world seems to do with ease terrifies me. I wasn't even very good at university. I must be a borderline 3rd - and that's if my viva voce goes well, which I'm not sure it will. Times were dark until very recently within my family, and I want so much to make my mother proud and not to make her worry.

How do I get away from everyone I know?

I don't like my friends or family. I dont want them to find me if I go. I haven't spoken to any of my family since grandma died. I've gotten rid of most of my friends. Haven't seen any of my siblings in 6 months. My mom forced a surprise visit last week but she won't suspect anything if I go soon.

Would any problems arise if Im found after being reported missing? How do I avoid being g found.

>>18375098
Sounds like your 75% there brah. Move out of town, in a few years you'll be just a memory

>>18375092
>The thought of living on my own, holding down a job and doing the stuff the rest of the world seems to do with ease terrifies me.
It doesn't sound appealing until you do it and then you realize how much you've been missing out until then

It's obvious now that you guys keep giving me hitns and messages that it's going to end "soon" and I should be "Ready to go" as a way to fuck with me. Every time you have told me it's going to end, it didn't.

I know what you're doing. You think that if there is a short goal I will hold on with hope that it's going to end soon. But now I know it won't.

I'm going to make it end now. When the 4th comes and nothing happens (Why would you give me that date then?) I'm going to hang myself.

I'm done. I don't care anymore. You could have given me the meds to help me hang in longer but you refuse. I don't care if this means you win or the world will end or whatever. I can't do this anymore... I'm done.

You people can celebrate. It doesn't bother me or get on my nerves. I just want it to be over.

>>18375107
Permanent solution for a temporary problem.. Been there.

Things always get better

>>18375114
>Things always get better
I have early onset dementia/parkinsons/alzheimers. It's never going to get better for me. It's only going to get worse and worse until it kills me. I have 10 years left, tops.

Not to mention the other shit.

I'm done.

>>18375124
Godspeed anon. I can't understand your struggles

I don't like myself.
But I still think I'm better than everyone else and that makes me dislike myself even more.

>>18375101
No chance I'll be found and fined or something?

>>18375138
Don't "disappear" just tell them you're going, don't think you're important enough for them to follow.

I had to get a mental health evaluation as part of a pre employment screen. My last doc cut out of the clinic I was going to, I couldn't get in touch with him, couldn't refill my meds, shit sucked. But I couldn't do anything about it, so I toughed it out, stiff upper lip and all that. It's been about a year with no counseling and about six months with no prescriptions, but I've been managing.

Getting that screening has basically screwed me over for the time being. Being on the couch again was familiar and comfortable, I opened up to this doctor I'm not gonna see again and now everything is back on the surface. I've been having a days long anxiety attack, depression has flared up and I constantly feel like I'm the verge of crying even though I'm not. Lots of thoughts running through my head.

The biggest stressor at the moment is a woman at work. I've been getting to know her for six months and like her a lot. I have been considering asking her out. I know she's going to say no, and I really don't want that no. But now with all this other shit swirling around in my head the thought of rejection is more painful than it should be. I need to ask her so I can just get this shit over with though, because putting it off and dreading rejection is also agonizing.

Blah.

>>18375133

Being arrogant is okay as long as you don't act arrogant. Remember the golden rule.

File: 16195614_107203599793732_7581071004936735659_n.jpg (51KB, 750x750px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 750x750px

What are some things I can do to become comfortable with myself and boost my self-esteem? I want to get to the point in my life where I love myself, and regardless of my circumstances I'm happy with myself.

I got a haircut today and it ended up being pretty shitty. I have a receding hairline and the haircut emphasizes it. How pathetic is that? Part of my happiness / self-esteem was attributed to something as arbitrary as hair. How do I get to the point in my life where I am comfortable with my looks/myself.

I don't have many hobbies honestly. It's not that I'm not willing to try any, it's just I haven't found any that I love to do.

I hit the gym regularly and I am in great shape, I don't think I'm terribly ugly but I would be much better looking with confidence.

I want to wake up and say "I'm fucking awesome" and actually mean it.

>>18375073
Nope. That's not the way of it.

>>18375076
I didn't need to ask how he felt. When the flirting got too heavy I warned him that I had a crush on him. He replied, "Well, I'm not going to leave her. I want to spend my life with her." Like yeah no shit?


He has kissed me before, but I wouldn't let it happen again. I don't intend to pursue him. That's just too fucking messy. I just wanna get over it.

>>18375098
>Would any problems arise if Im found after being reported missing? How do I avoid being g found.

Are you an adult? If so, IF the police track you down, they will tell you your family's looking for you blah blah blah, they might tell you to go home or get in touch with someone, but you're a free person. It's your prerogative to go where you choose and live where you want. Nobody can force you to go back.

More likely it would be a private investigator that finds you, and you can just tell them to fuck off and stop harassing you.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Disappear-Digital-Footprint-Without/dp/1599219778
That's a good starting point for disappearing. I say that as someone that used to track people down as part of my job, this book gave me lots of ideas about how to find people, and helped because they didn't do what this book said. See if they have it at your local library, if not, see if they participate in Link+ and can borrow it for you.

I am quite afraid that my friend is ghosting me. This girl has spoken in such a way that it would seem like she genuinely cared for me as a good friend. But for some reason suddenly went silent. She agreed to something, I followed up, and she didn't reply. Asked for advice a day later, again, no reply. And after two days of that, I sent "Hey, is everything alright? You've been oddly quiet lately"

(Last message was "You got it, might be a while since we have department training" (Can provide a censored version of the last full conversation from the week prior)


Probably is just a busted or lost phone. But still this is very unsettling because I cant shake that thought that shes consciously ignoring me

Also, few more details that kinda may help

1) she left WVU after a semester. She posted this tweet some months later "It's so frustrating seeing how good I had it & threw it all away"
2) There were a set of drunken tweets from HS, and also that she was looking for party schools. And WVU was listed.
3) Had weight loss surgery at 18. Dunno what to make of this. She wasn't too bad really. 5'8 @ 180lbs? Kinda chubby, but not to the point where I would consider surgery
4) She has a relationship that seemed to have ended badly and she posted this "I''ve never wanted to get over someone so badly"
"Hate feeling like this "
Also posted a tweet long ago about hating when she would catch feels for someone. And a bunch of sappy romantic tweets. (Also seemed to have very low self esteem and what not)

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This girl I like is hanging out with me tomorrow, I think we both like each other. There's only one way to find out. Wish me luck guys.

>>18373668
I wish i could hurt you, that i could just drop everthing and dedicate all my energy, effors and time to destroy your life, somethimes i fantasise with slamming your head using a shovel, over and over again... i hate you, i wish you could feel my hate fucking bitch.

>>18375166
You have pretty eyes, friendly features and nice skin. Anyway, to be confident, you have to find something reliable to place your confidence in until you stop doubting yourself out of habit. Like get really good at a musical instrument, or make friends who really love spending time with you. If you keep trying to be confident in only your looks, it probably won't work, because one can pick endlessly at tiny flaws in their appearance and delude themselves.

I don't know who I am anymore. I don't feel a damn thing for anyone. I've become completely disconnected. I feel more like an observer than an active participant in life. I just want to remember what it feels like to be truly happy. I don't have any intimate relationships, I haven't for 7 years now. My closest friends, I feel, are slowly slipping away and soon I will have nothing. I lack purpose, I lack passion. And as such, I now lack any motivation. It never used to be this way. There were things I was enthused about, I had hobbies. I had communities I was a part of.

Now I feel like I've got a bag full of nothing and I'm desperately holding onto that in case I lose that too.

Is it weird that I hate how hopeful I am? Because I have held onto the hope that things will get better for years and nothing has changed. I have tried my damnedest to get out of this rut but I always end up back in square one.

I'm hella frustrated with how evil as shit the CA state hiring process is. Everything is fake and clandestine.

Case in point: I applied for a job in a friend's unit. 5 years solid experience, 5 recommendations, I took the exam to get on the list for the position to apply and scored maximum points. They told me I'm not reachable because the list that's posted on the calhr site it guides you to use isn't actually usable. They are trying to say you have to be on some secret transfer list.

When I first started, they were doing a departmental list so no one else could apply but insiders. Now they seem to be indicating the normal job list that was posted with the ad doesn't work. Wtf. Fuck CA hiring practices I've never seen anything so corrupt and full of shit.

>>18375183
I'm an adult. I know that a few people would come looking if I were reported missing.

Thanks Anon.

1 comment and I'll kms

>>18375209
Pretty much the same. Except I have friends. I just feel nothing emotionally, other than sadness, fear, anxiety, guilt, shame, anger, depression, isolation. I dont feel attached to anyone or anything.

>>18375216

Don't 'kms' it ain't fucking worth it kid.

>>18375216
Haha faggot now it's 2 comments.
2 =/= 1

I'm fucking miserable. I wish had a gf or casual sex.
>22
>5'5
Fuck. I'm a dude

>>18375221
It's good to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. I am curious though, do you also feel like there's something really big missing from your life that isn't missing from anybody else's? That you were somehow left, for lack of a better term at 4:40am, "Incomplete" ?

>>18375216
2 comments. What now?

I've said this once before and I'll say it again; I'll be gone in a year, and that'll be it. This is all it'll ever be.

>>18375191
Good luck, Anon.

>>18375255
I don't even know why I made this post.

>>18375253

Leave this person alone. They are so depressed, they can't even spell out "kill myself". Whatever.

>>18375248
If you can't be tall at least you can be /fit/

>>18375248
I bought my first prosti when I has 18. She was 50, had really nice legs and black curly pubs on the tightest pussy I ever had. Said she was on her way to buy bread for her husbands sandwiches for work the next day. She was glad to have the extra money. Nice lady over all. Surely you've got a notorious street or two in your home town. Take a cruise and let off some steam.

>>18375263

So grossed out yet oddly intrigued by your story. Are you charlie sheen? :p

I think I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life
And I'm old enough now that I'm ok with that and ironically it makes me not ok with that

>>18375265
No, just an old horn-dog.

>>18375251
I'm not a virgin. I can't do that. First idk where to go and second I like intimacy not a dead fish.

>>18375260
I have this barely popped rib is the best way to put it. I've been to the doc and he said I have nothing. Im going to a new doc next week to see if i can workout with that injury. It only hurts when i do certain bends or got no sleep

Bad at pretty much everything I try to do.
Partly because I lack intelligence or the concentration required to perform tasks at a high level.
Not in the negative "Im so sad" way, Im just being realistic and sometimes the true is saddening.

The more I seem to learn the more it seems like this world really isnt for me.
There is nothing for me.

I hate this artist online with a passion not because of the content of what they draw or their personality really, but the way they market themselves. They constantly show off pictures of their personal life. What they buy which always comes across as an attempt to appear oh so geeky/nerdy, their girlfriend(s) which they have now gone through about 4, each racking up a fanbase around him with comments ranging from "you two are so cute together!" to "I wish I had your relationship!". It just feels like their fame is not made from the merit of their artwork, but instead made by how they look, what they can afford and who they are with personally. But if drama happens then they flip and all of a sudden want things to be "private". How do you use your personal life for professional publicity and marketing, yet when things turn bad, you recoil and ask for people to respect boundaries which you have never established? I cannot fucking stand them and I hope they crash and burn just because they do not truly appreciate what they lucked into because of the age we live in.

>>18375282
Prosti's are pretty fun, and most have a great sense of humor. Had a girl laugh at my joke with jizz all over her face once. Look up news reports for prostitution stings in your town. That ought to get you pointed in the right direction.

>>18375048
except for the guys that aren't really guys, sure. although I'm frustrating myself rn so I guess that counts.

>>18375298
I'm going to need more info then that. Would I have to book a room too?

>>18375288
That shouldn't stop you from doing lifts
Bending at the chest is a no-no for almost everything

>>18375057
Time to cheat

>>18374188

This is the only message on this board that makes any sense to me lol. Going to repeat this until it sinks in. Thanks for sharing your mantra/self-discipline.

>>18375166
No homo but you're not a bad looking guy. Hit the gym and some bars.

I though she was the one with the little quirks and issues but it turns out its all me

and it drove her away, now im alone and shes annoyed by me.

>>18375166
Dude, you're hecka cute.

>>18375295
most people are like this, not just that artist, go to facebook for example.
Its because people are biased and want to appear better than they are. Like selling a product.

>>18375166
you are at the very least above average looking. Probably 8/10 tier

And Im not just saying that, I have no reason to lie.
Just post pictures like that on an online dating site and see where you lay in the market. Itll be good.

I don't know how to socialize. I don't know where to go to meet new people.
I don't want to be alone anymore.

>>18375366
I've met friends in three ways
>Coworkers
>Joining clubs
>Dating

>>18375350
But why infuse that into your career as an artist? I can see having that be on a secondary page for personal stuff but this artist is blatantly taking pictures and putting it on the same page they promote themselves to their fans. Taking pictures with their girlfriend and drawing them together. But then when the relationship breaks off they always recoil and ask for privacy and "I don't want to talk about it" responses. It was because you boasted so much that a fanbase grew for your personal relationship. Don't be surprised that they are now curious/angry that things ended and you're not elaborating.

I post here to release the squall of inexplicable feelings I have for you. I care about you and that will never change. Even if I get angry and post mean shit, it's just because I feel rejected by you. I just want to get over you, the same way you forgot about me. It's not like you cared about me so why would stuff I say even hurt you?

FEEL NO SORROW
FEEL NO HATE, FEEL NOTHING AT ALL

HOLD ME BAYBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

>>18375369
None of those are an option for me

>>18375440

you could meet some disgusting people off /soc/

If I had a lot of money I'd probably just spend it on opiates. I'm not addicted but they ruined my life anyway and they're destroying my country.

>>18375444

blaze2k.gif

>>18375443
Those people sell themselves, just like plastic flowers, you can't get everyone to buy them.

>>18375316
What bout forming abs?

>>18375443
nice.

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This image hits so extremely close to home. Anybody else have this problem?

>>18375449

wow you have common sense. I'm shocked lol.

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you want to know, I tell you, you're mad that I answered your questions 100% honestly. you feel its all fake. alright then. idk what to do with that.

>>18375450
Starting Strength, the Bible of /fit/ says that compound lifts work the core enough.
You need strong abs to keep heavy squats and deadlifts stable

I fucking loved you Lexi

I've got stuff I really need to pay attention to right now. so if you've made your conclusion and it's negative just let me know. I'm done with the interrogation.

>>18375464
I was thinking of doing calisthenics first and then later a gym

O b s e s s e d.
with you.

>>18375481
Just tell me that you want me to give you some time and space. Give me a little hope and I can drop the questions. I know you have things to do, things you want to focus. I see it. I want to help.
You don't have to do all this alone. You never did.

>>18375492
It's never too early to start going to the gym
The Four Major Lifts are all very scaleable

I totally recommend it.

>>18375468
>lexi

dude you should have known better

how many guys did she cheat on you with?

>>18375504
>Just tell me that you want me to give you some time and space
my problem is that I need less time and space between her and I.

>>18375506
What are the four lifts? I'm weak as hell

i have a very important job interview next week but yesterday my dad left the house and now according to my mom they are gonna get divorced and he left a lot of bills, so now i'll probably have to stop considering a postgrad next semester.

now, I wouldn't really care about this if it wasn't for my mom's depression. she looks pretty scared/sad rn, i don't know if she will consider suicide, i hope not but i don't know how to prevent this, i really don't know how to process this. i really hope i don't have a panic attack thinking about this in my job interview.

i was going to just post this here but if anyone has something to say, some advice i would really appreciate it

>>18375532
Overhead Press (aka lifting a barbell over your head), Bench press, Squat, and Deadlift.

They're all compound lifts so it means that they work a variety of muscles. Do them all and you work just about everything.

>>18375535
My parents separated when I was a teenager
There was as few years where they slept in separate rooms and I could hear my mom crying in the night and sometimes I feared what would happen if she suddenly stopped.

Those are my saddest memories.

I know how you feel. It fucking sucks. But I'd continue on your career. You can support your mum if you have a good job one day.

>>18375545
Is the overhead press the one that starts with an upright row or is chest as low as it goes?

>>18375535

Here's my advice: Keep it together. The worse thing you can do right now is fall apart like everything else in your life atm. Keep your mom busy and occupy her mind by giving her tons of small tasks to do and make her feel useful. Take time for yourself to cry, feel bad, recoup but try to stay calm and keep your shit on schedule. Stay focused on your goals. It's the only way to get through it. (Sorry this is happening to you anon)

>>18375550
OHP starts resting on your clavicles
Then it goes up till you lock out your elbows

It's the fucking hardest press by far and growth is very slow
God damn I hate it

But it works delts and big delts are one of the major muscles that contribute to looking fit.

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>>18375199
Thanks for this, anon. I needed a release.

I want to kill myself. But I refuse to be another statistic. strange feeling

>>18375565
Don't confuse wanting to end the life you're living with wanting to die

>>18374696
Do you live in Indiana?

>>18375565
You're going to be another statistic no matter how you die. We all like to think we'll never be the person who gets cancer or dies in a horrible accident, but eventually, we'll all go some way and be just another hash mark.

I was drunk, struggling and trying to figure out what I really wanted and who I am. I know that doesn't justify it.

I didn't enjoy it. I think maybe doing it now stopped me doing it later down the road.

You stand by me regardless of how tough things are or what I do and I don't know why. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I'm sorry I've had to betray you to figure that out for certain.

I want to think this will be a good thing in the long run, it's made me realize how desperately we need to get away from here and away from the misery surrounding us.

I'm scared because if I told you I would have no one left outside of my family who are slowly driving me insane. But most importantly I don't want to hurt you.

I'm going to strive to make the rest of our lives together perfect. I love you.

>Well, there's mine. Surprising how shit like that flows once you start.

I won't apologize anymore what what I did. I think I have done enough groveling. I'm not going to play to your guilt anymore. I deserve better than this, and I'm better than this.
What I am sorry for now is simply not making our relationship worth saving to you. You can't blame me for lack of trying. You were my everything to me. You would say the same to me, and yet we can't seem to get past all this.
It's not like I'm not trying, to be honest this is only reflects that I was right when I told you that I was getting in your way. I know you see me as a hindrance, as the reason why things stagnated. I figured this would happen, I wished you would have been more open with me. Yeah, you told me of things that I did wrong, but there is a big difference between saying things in passing, or a text and really sitting down to talk to me, like an adult. I would have listened to the things you say where important, if you spoke to me with importance.

Even now after everything, I want nothing more than to hear you out and listen to you. But a conversation, communication, like a good relationship require two people willing to talk and work together. Not sure we can deal with that the way we been lately. I want to work past this with you. For now I'm backing off, I won't press the issue anymore. I'll leave to you. I'm done fighting. I'm done reaching out for someone that doesn't reach back. I see I need to focus on myself as I should have been all these years. In the panic of trying to save us, I lost you.

Is there just something inherently wrong with me?
I have literally 0 success with online dating. Why am I unable to have a relationship?

>>18375599
Nope, Minnesota.

>>18375612
initials?

Good lord imn so fucking pathertic. Vlass endee today and I jujst couldsnt talk to her even though i did get her number last session. I fucking hate myself so goddamn much for not following through,this lack of confidence is the fucking worse. I just had to be a pathetic cuck who couldnt even muster the courage to talk to her one last time before the class was over for good. Why the fuck do i have to be such an insignificant pathetic little cuck faggot pussy bitch goddamn it. All I had to do was just talk to her again while we waited before the class and i couldnt fucking do that you fucking pussy fucker fuck you i hate me so muhc .

I'm 8 drinks in right now because I'm gonna ask her to do something during the summer. I still feel relatively cognizant right now so I cant even break through this bitch filter thats in me right now that feels this fear even with these drinks. Fucking hell why does my pussy bitch nature have to be strong enough to overcome the effects of booze? goddamn iut ill never be satisfied unless i get an answer from her and I just bitched the fuck out when it matters. I hate me so goddamn much and i have work in 6 hours. fuck you i hate me fuck you

I am such an idiot. A master of self sabotage.

The fight with her tonight was just the tip of the iceberg. I am collapsing, again. Just a few weeks ago I walked out on my job. I just stopped showing up, the place was toxic but I need the money. It's office monkey accounting shit, horrible and soul sucking. The longest Ive stayed with one is two years. I found another one. Ive already missed a day. I hate it that much.

Im perpetually depressed. Years of this. I lash out at those I love, I am sorry A.P., I am. I know you said you forgive me but you also said you have a lot to think about.

I am collapsing again. I dont think I will be alive much longer.

I have a crush on a girl who plays league of legends with me sometimes. I've spoken to her once on skype and saw her profile picture. It's fucking pathetic and I want to stop thinking about her.

Every time I try to get up I get kicked down.

>>18375670

chumbawamba

>>18375621
R.l.s.

What do I really want? I want an apology from you. A real one. Apologize for hurting my feelings, for neglecting me, for rejecting me, for lying to me. That's all I want: for you to make things right with me.

You don't get pissy with them you way you do with me over the most miniscule things. I don't know how to react.

I just want to be happy. I want to know what it's like to be in love
Is that so much to fucking ask?
What am I supposed to do when cheating and "open" relationships are the norm?

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>>18375877
This is precisely my feeling

I just want to experience love.

I'm so fucking tired of having assburgers. A normal life isn't in the cards for me, and everything seems to take twice the effort it takes normal people.

I just want to be normal. I want to make decisions without agonizing over them. I want to feel joy when my mother calls me, instead of dread. I want to be able to just do the things I want to do. I want to not be mentally exhausted halfway through the day because my mind is running in circles. I want to have a purpose in life.

Suicide is an impulsive action. But have that impulse enough, and chances increase that you'll do it eventually. And I might. A friend of mine killed himself last year. Not in a pretty way, either. His corpse lay in the sweltering summer heat of his appartment for the better part of a month. They repainted the appartment and put in a new floor. Funeral was closed casket. That should tell you enough.

But you know what? In a weird way that has made it more acceptable for me. It imparted the idea with a measure of tangible reality. I felt his corpse roll in the coffin as we carried him to his final resting place (you know, until they dig him up and throw him in the garbage, because the funerary business is still a business). And I realized I don't fear death. I fear everything leading up to it.

You're all so fucking pathetic. Why?

I missed out on so many experiences because I had body deformities, lack of self confidence and doing nothing but gaming all the time, shittiest of parenting.

But I still can't not blame myself for doing more, fighting more and struggling to get out of this shitehole, now I'm halfway stuck in it and my chances of getting out are getting slimmer with each day passing.

It's probobly pretty petty but I am annoyed by it so I'm gonna write it out anyway.

So this weekend, is the first weekend I have off from work in 10 weeks = I've had to pass on everything my friends have asked me out for but always with the: "I can't, I work :/ but the friggin first weekend of June I am finally off! Keep your schedules free cause we're getting shitfaced atleast one of those nights"-line in different variations
-"Yes ofcourse!" - in different variations has always been the answer.

So I've worked myself up, been looking forward for this weekend to finally be able to do something with my friends, without having to be "home and in bed by 9" (I have to get up at 03.AM to get to work).

Well the weekend has come and everyone, save 1, is fuckin' busy!
So now this big party we were gonna have has turned into having coffee with 1 friend (the crush ;) but thats another story haha).

I can't really be angry at them as individuals, they all have pretty valid reasons to be busy... just disapointed in my socialcircle.

Like I said petty but...

>>18376152
Because of you.

It been online "dating" girls since I was 16 I'm 25 now. My last "relationship" lasted 5 years and ended 2 months ago because she met a guy she liked at school and they're together now.

I know online dating is toxic as fuck and never works but it's the only way I've been able to truly love someone. Even though all my "gfs"always end up leaving me for guys they meet irl.

>at least I still have her nudes

I just want someone to tell me they love me and they care about me just a reminder that people give a shit, ya know? Because I really really fcuking care and love all of you

The weirdest part about moving in to a new place is always feeling comfortable taking a shit. The new bathroom just throws me for a loop because it's too big to be a public bathroom, but it's too foreign to be my own.

L
I wanted your hands to find their way farther up my leg.
I wanted 8 shots of cheap vodka in my body.
I wanted to talk to you about everything but didn't know where to begin.
I wanted to stop thinking about him because maybe when I do I'll get better at eating.

I want to text you right now.
I want to tell you that I may want you to want to be with me.
I want to keep myself from wanting these things because I know it would be bad if something happened.
I want to rest my legs on your legs again.
I want to be still for once.
A

>>18374748
For myself.

I fell for a girl who fell for an asshole. She got stringed along, and I kept waiting and agonising. I couldn't even distract myself because even if I mustered the energy to do something I would circle back to her.
I got better, I started having energy and positive vibes once I cut myself free. Then she starts writing me out of nowhere. I thought "What can it hurt?" And replied. It felt amazing. And now she's fallen silent, again. Nothing. I worry what I might've said or done wrong, and I find nothing. So it must be she's occupied, and if it's so important she ignores me over it that means I'm not even a speck on her radar.
And then again it could be she's really just buisy or insecure. I'll never know. I want to be back in that space where I don't worry about a human not replying to me in two weeks. I want to get off the hook. My self-esteem is already a fragile thing, I don't need shit like this to further destabilise me.

I wish I knew if I'm attractive. When I look at the mirror and smile I feel pretty. When I look at other girls and see how feminine they are compared to me, I feel a bit ugly. When I see pictures of myself I feel very ugly.
I think I'm pretty enough that I could save it by being charming, but I'm not. Guess I'm gonna have to wait for someone who loves my weird self, like my ex did.

I just want to go to your place, have you open the door, give you a huge hug and never let you go. I want to see you smile, i want to hear your voice, hold your hand and spend the next 50 years together. I know we can do it. I wish you didn't spend all your time hiding.

>>18376573
Post pic

I have a message pending on WhatsApp, but I cannot bring myself to open it. My love life is probably dependent on this fact.
What do? Been almost 24 hours since it was sent.

>>18376619
I said my pics make me feel very ugly. And I've seen much prettier girls get called unattractive on this board. I'd rather spare myself the pain.

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Winter has started, I hope I don't end up killing myself. I already can't help crossing some streets with the red traffic light on to see if some car runs me over. I hate winter so much, it's the most depressing season of the year.

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I'm gonna see my cousins again today!!

>>18376688
don't forget to bring condoms

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>>18376673
Lel, eat shit southern hemisphere.
I'm gonna enjoy muh nightless nights
t.Finn

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>>18376690
Fuck off perv.

>>18376627
Open it. Embrace the chance to communicate. Then fap.

>>18376669
Post regardless. Your ugliness either spawns a new meme, you got a bunch of sex starved nerds frothing at the mouth for you or nobody gives a shit.

>>18375571
Thank you. Many people do this. Excellent

>>18376744
>your ugliness spawns a new meme
How is that good? Also pics go in /soc/, that's the reason it was made, because everyone was using /adv/ for that.

I'm fucking sick to death of being invisible, inappropriate, bad at everything, ugly, short, stupid, submissive, uninteresting. I just want to fucking scream about how bad I feel but I can't even do that.

My best friend wants me to smoke meth with him. Need your help anons.

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>>18376778
meth is retarded, it will fuck you up fast, say you'll pass. If it were weed I would understand if you said yes but there's no need to be PC or edgy about it, meth fucks you up

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>>18376778
>smoke ice and pretend its meth or dont do that shit lulz

18376807
18376788
Think i'll stay away from meth then

>>18376744
>Your ugliness either spawns a new meme
Well that's reassuring lol.

>>18376757
I guess I could post there, there's so many pics it'll get lost quickly

>>18376817
>not giving us (you)s
Screw you, man!

V svaq zlfrys jvfuvat gung V pbhyq renfr gur cnfg gjb lrnef bs zl yvsr. Jvcr zl oenva pyrna bs gur zrzbevrf, gur rzbgvbaf, gur zbarl V vairfgrq va nabgure crefba jub pynvzrq gurl qvq abg ybir zr. Gung ynfg ovg uhegf gb guvax nobhg nygubhtu V pbhyq pner yrff nobhg gur crefba. Jul ner jr abg vairfgvat va guvf glcr bs guvat?

I can understand your first reaction and why you stopped talking to me, but it's becoming stupid. You loved him and he ended up with me. Ok, it's an awful situation.

And here is what I will never say to you, because it will probably hurt you a lot : this guy was not your boyfriend, and was never interested about anything between you and him.
I was not attracted by him. I didn't try to steal your platonic love. I never wanted to hurt you. He wanted me, and he managed it fucking well. I felt deeply in love because he did everything to get this result. He made all the first possible moves, and at the end, I surrendered.

He's not a good person. He made fun of you, he ridiculized your love for him, mocked your physical appearance many times, and told almost anyone that you are still a virgin. Believe it or not, I took your defense. I told him to respect you, because I really thought and still think you deserve respect.

Because you love him like a puppy, you see him as a living god. Because I had a realtionship with him, you hate me.
You're blind. I will not ask you to be my friend again, I really understand your feeling, even if it makes me sad. But seeing you igoring me and runing after him all the time, while I know all the awful things he said about you...Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Apparently a tall, handsome, fit, intelligent, caring guy with an easy six figure salary at a job he loves and a great family isn't good enough for you.

We were together for seven happy years, most of our twenties. Barely an argument between us that entire time.

You throw it all away, for what? Because your sisters told you to? Because we have slightly different political views? Because you "don't see yourself being happy with me in the future", whatever the fuck that means? Because you are bored in the relationship, because we "don't do things anymore", even though in seven years you haven't thought up even 5 dates?

Eat shit, whore. All your daddy's money ain't worth your fat ass.

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Basically I'm dropping out of the dating pool and am on the edge of ending it
My sister is the only one that knows I'm playing a fake "cheerful witty, somewhat confident" character infront of the people I know. I've been trying to find a way to disappear, which again my sister knows about but is keeping quiet about it. Been thinking of joining the military and hope to be deployed, as that's the only way I see myself going prematurely without suicide which I a huge nono for me even though I want to go trough with it. Never saw myself getting old, never even visualized it, sure leaving family behind seems harsh but I can't keep the act up for much longer and want them to keep the fake image in their heads

>>18375877

Cheating is not the norm. Don't let yourself believe that because it's not true

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>>18373668
High school is ending tomorrow and I will never see her again and I really want to ask her for coffee but she's constantly surrounded by her friends and fuck
What do i do

>>18376590

Aww reading this made me smile

>>18377188
Ask her for covfefe

>>18377192
But first I need to distract her from her friends, how do I do that?

>>18377092

Bro you deserve better than that

>>18377188
>highschool
>coffee

what are you a fucking faggot? Go to the graduation parties, live your life a little bit, what do you even bring to the table to make her want you?

>>18376590
fuck I wish this was L
>>18375877
there's nothing else like it, but there's nothing else harder to find.

>>18377192
I'm going to make this a battle cry at this protest I'm going to. dunno why, I just think it'd be funny enough that it needs to happen.

COVFEFE!

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>>18377210
>Go to the graduation parties, live your life a little bit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCiFO7qV54E
I don't even know if there is a graduation party for our school somewhere

>>18375877
You're so lucky you don't have even know it
I've been unlucky enough to just get a taste and nothing since
If there's one thing is change about my past is to never go on that date

>>18377218
I think you're striking out in this scenario, bro.

You should get a shit job and make some friends there, it'll be easier than you think.

Work at a restraunt, or fast food joint or something. Get some skrilla in your pocket, and some honey waitresses to chat up after hours.

By all means get asspained. I don't have feelings for you, and never will.

GJ go get in a car accident or something you ugly fucking cross eyed leech

>>18377199

Thanks, man.

We're all gonna make it.

It's been almost a week since I contacted you directly. I miss you. I hope you're doing okay. Despite a mess of conflicting feelings, I'm glad we split bc it was for the best. I feel calmer now. I hope that soon you'll become a distant, pleasant memory to me. And that I'll be able to move on, just like you already have.

goddamnit, why do you have to be cute ;_;

>>18375686
This. I'm not a doormat. You can't just reject me, completely cut me off and then just walk up to me a several days later and give me some bullshit excuse for your actions and say that you think I still love you anyway. No shit I still have feelings for you or this wouldn't hurt so goddamn much. I needed to know if you actually cared about me at all because it just felt like you wanted a girlfriend to show off and anyone at all would have sufficed. Then when you realized you weren't ready to be in a relationship, you tried to throw me on the back burner. Why couldn't we have just talked it out? I would have waited for you if you had just asked me to. It also really sucked that you told everyone how much you liked me and how happy you were when I said yes, because when you broke up with me so suddenly everyone assumed it was me who had a problem with you, when really I was happier then I'd ever been before when we were together. If things really had to end between us, why couldn't it have been on better terms? I can't delude myself into thinking we're going to get back together again, because it's obvious you'd rather crush my feelings and pride than risk your own.

>>18373668
My girlfriend is causing me to lose everything but i love her and we planned to escape the shit 3rd world country we live in. Am I doing the right thing or am I driving myself and her to an unprecedented fall?

We're both 24 y/o, next year January we'll leave and never come back, even if we had to live on the streets of another country.

>>18377276
a few things to note:

not asspained cause no feelings

also
>never
is a dangerous word to use in reference to me. really not trying to be an ass, but never, never works out with me. anyone that's ever told me that something is never happening has thus far eaten their words.

Honestly why the fuck am I me? I thought I loved her and she loved me then she breaks things off to go out with the person who I hate most in the world who also stole my ex bestfriend? I'm sick of not having money, I'm sick of not being smart, I'm sick of losing jobs because every summer a new boss wants their son to work for them, I'm sick of not getting my severence pay and not being able to do anything about it. I'm so greatful of my friends but I really hate how they always go off with their girlfriends. I'm sick of not being able to talk to my extended family because we have nothing in common, while the rest of my immediate family talk to them everyday. I'm sick of being to afraid to go to a GP about my thoughts because if im diagnosed it'll hurt my chances of joining the police or army. I'm sick of my dream job always being a dream. I'm sick of girls looking down on me because I live next to a private school but couldn't afford to go to it, whereas everyone they talk to are all posh pricks stuck up their own arses. I'm sick of being held back because my accent is too scummy despite the fact I go to the interviews and auditions better dressed, more qualified and better rehearsed than the posh pricks. I'm sick of always being the one who has to stand up to people and getting hurt in fights. I'm sick of bouncers not liking me. I'm sick of going to the gym alone because my mates are lazy. I'm sick of not going to the gym because I'm too lazy and then acting like my friends are always at fault. I'm worried everybody secretly hates me. I'm scared I'll kill myself if I fail my exams. I'm sick of being afraid of affecting my friends and family if I kill myself.
Fuck sorry, I just really need to get that shit out of me.

go away married woman. whatever your infatuation, I'm not interested in the slightest. you are married.

My life has been one terrible event after the other. I'm never going to find someone that will stick by me. I'm too depressed to do anything about my life anymore, I'm too tired. I think tonight might be the night that I end things finally. I'm sorry everyone that loves me, but I don't think I can do this anymore.

>>18377459
yo brah, i was gonna do the same a few years ago, but about 4 weeks after my failed suicide attempt, i met the girl of my dreams, didn't even have to lower my standards, literally perfect and we've been together ever since. As long as you're alive there's still hope... plus, dying would mean you would stop *being there* and why would you want that.

>>18377459
Hey man, i feel with you, same shit I'm going trough for the last 10 years
Just take it one day at a time, I found my distraction in cars, still trying to get over leaving love life behind but one day at a time

>>18377441
go into business and make everyone eat their words.

let me tell you a story. in highschool I met the love of my life, and she loved me. we were each other's first loves and we were hopelessly attracted to each other. we were young and stupid. specifically I was young and didn't understand what being a man meant, she was notoriously independent. after a few months we started getting more physical, well, before we got too serious she broke up with me. we got back together about a week later and I thought is was all good because she couldn't stop apologizing or hugging me. well, she broke up with me to fuck a friend of mine. we broke up again, all that love hopelessly shattered. she and my whole friend group were a bunch of rich kids in a fancy higher placement program and I was the poor kid that got in on intelligence alone. everyone looked down on me.

fast forward

she never became that journalist she wanted to be, she became a feminist, and every year up to like 2 years ago she'd have someone check on me or try to contact me just enough to see what I'm up to. the guy she cheated on me with (or one of them at least) works at the same fucking grocery store he worked at in highschool.

meanwhile I'm well on the way to being massively successful though I've hit a bump in the road due to poor choice of business partners.

FUCK. FEELING. BAD. especially if you're feeling bad because other people project, misinterpret, or intentionally miscategorize you. FUCK THAT SHIT. you don't like those things? CHANGE THEM FAGGOT. get the fuck up and move. fuck killing yourself, fuck not going to the gym, fuck posh pricks, fuck any and every preconceived notion of you, fuck not having gotten that rich kid education most of it makes them shit for brains anyways. fuck people that don't recognize the effort and judge your accent or whatever random attribute. fuck wondering why you are you.

>>18377441
>>18377504

what're you going to do today anon? I'm sending out at least 20 resumes, going to local places, writing up the business plan for my next business, along with starting the engineering drawings and patent application, starting to pack all my shit for a move to start another business with some family, and I'm sorting shit out. what're you doing with your life?

>>18376247
>So now this big party we were gonna have has turned into having coffee with 1 friend (the crush ;) but thats another story haha).

You really should be looking at this as a success. You planned on a party and instead got a date.

>>18377459
fuck killing yourself. get the fuck up. I can almost guarantee I've had more bullshit and horrific shit in my life. what the fuck are you doing to fix it?
>>18377504
>>18377513

I feel like I'm fucking up with people all day. Got chewed out for fucking up,apologized, tried to fix it, but got ignored. Glad I have a job (actually 3), but currently looking for one job that's more stable, if such a thing exists.

>>18377325 here
i could hear you giggling over something earlier. your laugh is so cute. ah... damnit

>>18377522
Probably, probably not. Everyone's different and it's not a pissing contest. I've done a lot, I've tried a lot and I'm just tired and alone at this point.

>>18377500
I used to think the same, my will to live was pretty strong. I don't know, maybe I'm just having a really bad episode.

>>18377543
Probably my dude. What is the the thing you hate the most in your life?

I wish you would have responded. I really wanted to talk to you. I really think we could have something amazing. I don't have any more time to spend on trying to get you to know me without direct communication though. I don't have a choice but to get absolutely serious right now or my 5 year plan is fucked as is the future of whatever family I end up building. I have to harden back up for everything I'm about to have to shoulder. my options were either I do all this alone and I have to be a hard ass, or I find just the tiniest bloom of warmth and support in this cold world and I'd be able to face anything without needing to be such a hard ass. I held it off as long as I could but this is the only way I can make any of this happen if this is your decision.

you have my name, you have my email, you know what I look like. if you ever feel, idk, just contact me.

>>18377533
keep going.

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>>18377533
cheesy, but these keep me going

>>18377441
>I thought I loved her and she loved me then she breaks things off to go out with the person who I hate most in the world who also stole my ex bestfriend?
this song fits you better than it does me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfNOdsvMke4

no point singing it anymore.

>>18376401
dude. its not a gf if its just on the internet. what is with this generation? relationships are hard and they happen in real life. ofc ur online gfs have left you. your just someone they talk to that requires zero real maintenance. its not toxic, its pleb level stupid. are you 12?

>>18377553
How even though I'm surrounded by people I feel absolutely alone. My family isn't supportive at all. My partner also suffers from depression and it's hard to help each other at times. I just feel really alone.

>>18377647
Anon, I know nothing will help you and that's alright. Your partner seems to be like my gf, when I said mine was perfect I meant that she's as depressed and destroyed as I am and I found out knowing that we love each other even though we're heavily depressed has helped us. Not positively but it made us not go the suicide path. Talk to your partner and tell them you love them, tell them you're sad, you'll feel worse, i assure you, but you'll be surprised what people feel towards you. We were about to breakup because she sent me once this paragraph about feeling numb... devoid of all feelings and I remember calling up a taxi at 3 AM to get to her house and hug her... that night was the one night that changed it all. I once told her "I'm such a mess I think I need to get everything together before I continue with you"

Do you know what she replied with?
"Lets be a mess together, keep the mess around, we can collect it later"

I know what i said probably means fuck-all to you, but listen to me anon, it WILL get better, and all the shit will dissipate.

Go ahead and tell her "I was reading something online and I remembered how much I loved you" and then talk with her, I know it sounds gay but there's this thrill of anticipating what she'll say and go on from there.

Sorry if it all sounds too bossy, but you deserve life anon, just as much as any other normie faggot, even more in my book. Good luck!

Now that you're gone, I probably won't have a better best friend than you. Suicide isn't the way to go, but when you told me that you wanted to die - that Prison would change you and that life wouldn't be the same. And you explain each reason to the core and defied any argument I gave you. I finally caved and said nothing.

Now you're gone and I regret not saying anything.

I miss you homie.

I miss you a lot.

>>18377684
Thanks man.. I really appreciate your words.

>>18377700
Anytime my depressed anon, anytime.
We're all wandering in this big floating universe, meaningless beings on a meaningless existence, yet we choose to ignore to convince our stupid little brains that we have purpose. We don't, the faster you ignore that whole thing, the better.

My teeth are rotting out of my goddamn skull and I have no money to fix it

I finally know why men kill themselves.
This is fucking unbearable now. I keep trying to move forward but constantly I am reminded of you. Even when I focus on other things I can't stop thinking about you. As if I had two brains and one never stops with the thoughts of you. I growing sick of this.

I'm growing sick of you. You keep bothering me as well. You know damn well that I want work things out, you only reply when it suits you. You treat me as if I fucked your sister or something. I made a mistake, but nothing of that caliber. It makes me wish I would have slept around just to give you real justification to treat me as you been treating me. My real mistake? Trying to save a sinking ship. You kept dragging me on, and yet made no show of wanting to end it or work something out. You were using me and I'm fucking sick of it.
7 years isn't worth this torment anymore.
I need to figure out how to stop, to just let you rot. But it's hard when it's someone that was your world until recently.

If there was a switch in my head that I could toggle to erase everything I feel for you, God I would flip it, it's clear you were able to just walk off like nothing. Yet, you only talk when it suits you, when you see a chance to demonize me.

I need to leave and forget but it's fucking hard. I see that you have been only feeding bits of hope to keep me around, I can't do this anymore. Not to myself. Fuck you. Seriously, you don't see how much of what happened was your fault. I'm sick of being your emotional tampon. I can't even say I wish you well anymore because you toyed with me for this long.

All you had to say was "it's over". And I would have left you alone years ago.
You called me child, and yeah, I still am. But the thing is I was willing to realize that i was being immature, you know something, I'm not the only one that needs to grow up. Look in the fucking mirror. You never listened to me, so maybe you'll listen to your reflection. Fuck you, I quit

>>18377769
Fuck. My girlfriend is exactly like this. She only talks to me when it suits her and she sometimes give me that love talk but most of the time it's getting upset from me for no apparent reason. She'll get her shit rustled if I try to lighten up the mood when she tells me something horrible, but if I try to tell her something emotional and something that's making me really sad, she completely treats me like a stranger... she would ask the most frustrating things and tell me the most superficial obvious answers. Meanwhile if she is upset with me, I have to become a mind-reader to get her to calm down. Fuck man, I wish I had the balls to quit.

>>18377785
I know that feeling.
Where you are expected to just know things. To know that you fucked up, but they don't tell you until months or years later.

It's not easy, but I think saying I quit is the first step. No person should have to live this way anon.

I think I'm more passed at the shit she threw at me, things that could have been fixed with simply adult conversations instead of her holding it in and letting it fester into resentment.

>>18377806
Anon, can I vent more to you? I don't think I ever found someone who was in the trenches I'm in right now.

>>18377809
Go right ahead man.
Vent away. It might help to soothe my anger as well.

You asked me if I saw you in only a platonic way.

It confused the hell out of me. I thought... why would I see you as the earth's crust? Do you rub against other plates to create earthquakes?

>>18377811
It started out great. We were pretty similar in how we think, a few weeks passed on with us having the longest and deepest conversations we ever had. We both were in relationships that completely destroyed us. I was with a girl for three years who went on to marry someone and invites me to the wedding on the day we break up. Her boyfriend turned alcoholic and lost his brains. We decided this will be like nothing we experienced before, it will be the relationship that's true. The relationship that is real and THANK GOD we met when we were adults (22) and met at this point in time.

Months go by and she's getting more and more secluded, so I try to push her into interacting more with me, but she has started going back to her old habits of contemplating depression and being "lost" and "i'm sorry for dragging you into my mess of a life". I then back off for a bit and think, well, this is the girl I truly and utterly love...don't want her to feel bad at all, I really love her, I have to try and understand her.

I start little by little realizing the dumb pattern she lives by, she starts drawing a trail on the ground and as soon as I follow, she wipes it and runs away. I start thinking what a stupid fucking relationship I'm in. I tell my closest friends about it and they all tell me to leave. Every and each one of them. She wants to keep our relationship secret by the way, so only my closest friends knew about us. Anyhow, I didn't listen to them, I continued to be with her day in and day out, I then had the courage to tell them "we broke up" just so they would not tell me to break up with her anymore and right now only I and her know that we're together. She always tells me about these guys she meets in her life and old friends and "WOW I really loved what this guy did" bla bla bla, and just saying shit that makes me feel like a turd. My problem is that I say I still love her. I lost everything in my life and I'm not the type of guy that blames, but I blame her

>>18377837
I blame her for all the shit that happened in my life. I tried everything in my scope to get us on a good track together but she just keeps going back to how lost she is. I ended up following her on that path just so I can be with her. My family members started to realize i call them less and ask less. My friends started noticing I spend more time inside and not doing really productive things like I used to. Everytime I go out with them I feel so disconnected and out of touch with them I feel disgusted from myself. I go home and look in the mirror and see someone who has fucked himself in the ass. I fucking hate her, anon. I really do, but I don't know why it's so fucking hard to leave. I always thought humans were just like anything, we could flip a switch and BAM, you're a whole new person with an enitrely new life path only if you wanted to. But no, this one is not working this time. Fuck me

>>18375166
Cutie pie! Baby Jude-Law-ish. I LOVE your kind of hairline! (from an not-unnattractive or fat female)

J - Where you at? Funny how seeing you makes everything seem more real.

>>18375166
even if you decide to shave because of the receeding hairline, you have the face for it

>>18375166
Anon, I showed your pic to my gf and she said she'd fuck you without dating.

A, you have the best body I've ever seen, and I love how you always seem so cordial.

My body aches entirely for yours, and I would give you all of my life essences just to spend entire days with you. Smashing, massaging, talking, cuddling. Name it, it's done just for you.

I'm starting to realize my thirst for you, and I'm not going to lie, it hurts a lot to thirst this much.

Being adopted is literally the worst feel I g you can ever imagine. Knowing that I have no "safety net" is a terrible feeling. I feel as though my life would be 200 percent better if I only had at least one actual biological parent to look after me. I feel like I constantly need to rely on myself for everything. To make matters worse- it seems like my (adopted) mom adopted me without my father's permission since they split shortly after I was adopted. Before they decided to break things off my adopted father raped me and told me never to tell anyone, so I didn't. And eventually I just forgot about it all together (Yea repressed memories are actually a thing- I didn't realize that until it finally came back to me. That yea he did in fact rape me.) I remember some other events (not as severe as the initial one) but of a homosexual pedo effect that happened throughout my childhood after they split(yea they stayed in contact till this day). Later on down the road when I was a young adult I figured maybe I should give living with my "dad" a try. He ended raping me again as I was completely out of it on Xanax. It wasn't until much later that I finally pieced together the second and first event- maybe because I was placed on ritalin or toned down my pot smoking or both.

I was raised entirely poor. There was almost a year as a child when my mom was unemployed. We had literally nothing. Sometime over the course of my childhood I remember my father going to visit me at my adopted family's house. Due to a traumatic brain injury I suffered I couldn't recognize who he was and was completely convinced that my adopted family was biologically related to me. I remember my mom arguing with my biological father to keep custody of me. She told him she was a travel agent- giving the impression that she actually wasn't poor. In reality, she worked in a call center.

I came to realize that the only reason she withheld me from my father is because she wanted something in return.

>>18377837
>>18377843
I see what you mean. Have you spend to her about all this? If you have tried everything you always have the nuke options.
To be honest, you could be love with someone else. Someone that you built in your mind and no longer exist. I get depression, it's what ruined my relationship as well, but I was the depressed one.

When it comes to apathy and depression it often happens that we become blind. We become so engrossed in our sadness that we start to find comfort in it. Like seeking the safety of a foxhole in the middle of an artillery attack. You find it safe, you find it comforting so you dig deeper.

Have you tried sitting down with her and tell her that needs to try to reach you? To reach back?

If you still believe that the girl you shared that connection with is still in there, then you have to get tough and dig her out.

If you feel that you don't love her and are only with her because you fear being alone or something. You have to brave the elements and tell her you need break up.

Many people go with the latter. Because it's slightly easier.

I'm a firm believe in communication. In being adults and actually talking with your partner. Sometimes we fear telling the truth because of what we might lose, but living without risks isn't living at all. It's just dying, slowly.

On that note, you also do need to push yourself out of your own hole brother. Even if things are uncomfortable you have to get back out there and doing things that you find at least soothing.

Start small. When you feel overwhelmed, or just stressed got out for a walk. Maybe with some music, and just walk for like 20 minutes. Force yourself to walk and get some O2 into you. It helps to clear your head and maybe give you a better outlook.
1/2

>>18377924
Also, take some time to separate yourself from your emotions. 3rd person man, try to picture how you feel, your actions, the way you talk, but as if watching all these events from a 3rd person. See where these feelings come from, and why you feel this way. You could also try to extend it to your gf. She may be dealing with a beast much larger than herself, but you can't see it because your stuck in your world, much like she is stuck in her'son.

If she doesn't talk, and shuts down, control any anger that may come, take a walk and try again. This is if you feel there is something worth saving. If not, you always walk away. It sucks but sometimes we need to walk to learn from mistakes.

She keeps talking to me on and off throughout the week but I respect her space. I don't want to annoy her but God damnit 5 minutes to try and win her back is all I want at this point.

I'm young and dumb and oblivious to shit, it's not because I don't care or appreciate it you all. Im dumb and need to get my shit together, treat this thing more maturely, and more importantly treat you like the respectable adult woman you are. I've made some mistakes thus far but one last chance to make it rights all I ask.

>>18377915
She wanted some kind of return on her investment. I was viewed as more of something to profit from to her than anything else. It was and is very apparent.
She also has a horrible drinking habbit.
I mean like I really can't imagine a shittier life than this one.
It sucks how life is literally never in my favor.

Its terrible knowing all of this and being able to do absolutely nothing about it. Also my older brother was in jail most of the time I was growing up and is a complete as whole towards me for many different reasons. Not having a base to fallback on fucking sucks. All I want is to get into law school right now but its just so difficult because I'm forced to juggle work rent and all this other shit at the same time. I can't even study in the comfort of my own apartment because I have a bunch of roommates.
Life would be so much easier if I just had a place I could go to and not have to worry about things like bills and other expenses- all I would need to worry about would be the lsat. I know maybe you're thinking- why can't he just do that with his adopted mom? Well its mainly that alcohol and fact that I know why she withheld me from my family. Till this day she still won't tell me who my real parents are and still tries to brainwash me to believe she actually gave birth to me and raised me. Its a shit feeling. She takes advantage of the fact that a received a traumatic brain injury.
Life fucking sucks please don't put your children up for adoption!

>>18376688
She asked for my phonenumber

>>18377930
>>18377924
Thank you. I do believe, yes, there is something.

It is why I've followed her trail. We still talk regularly but when shit hits the fan, she bails or she stops wanting to communicate. And like you said
>In being adults and actually talking with your partner

She is a firm believer of cutting off all means of communication when she gets a text that doesn't make her feel perfect. She is so obsessed with perfection, I understand that, but not to the point where it has to ruin everything. I'm trying really hard with her and she loves me I'd argue more than I do... I know that..but I don't feel it... I'll probably continue with her. I don't know if I'm on the wrong path though, that's all.

You know what I hate the most about our personalities? We tend to hurt the person we love the most. Without realizing it or without thinking about it. That's where I need to apply the 3rd person thing. Thank you anon.

>If she doesn't talk, and shuts down, control any anger that may come, take a walk and try again.
I've learned this the hard way. I just accept that she's depressed nowadays, I accept when she wants to seclude herself and not want to talk with me, I accept when we agree on something and she bails last minute because of something inside her telling her to do so. I accept all that because I still feel her love behind all that. I really want our lives to blossom and grow better together anon. Thanks again.

my step mom is black. everyone thinks I'm I'm a racist nazi scumfuck but she is where why perceptions of what a good woman should be because my mom wasn't, my first step mom wasn't, my first gf wasn't, my ex wasn't. she treats my dad well, and she creates a good household, and they're happy. she also thinks BLM is retarded and that the real problems in the black community are never addressed out of a lack of self awareness and responsibility.

>>18377998
>but she is where why perceptions of what a good woman should be
but she is where my perceptions of what a good woman should be came from.

the fuck was I doing with that sentence?

Am I really missing out if i'm not promiscuous? One night stands never really interested me and don't feel fulfilling but I keep getting told i'll regret it if I don't fuck around.

>>18378024
no, you're not. I let down my standards with my ex primarily just to actually have a relationship of some sort and have sex. it's really not worth it. more sexual partners you have, less likely you are to be happy, have a successful marriage, and of course you're more likely to get an std.

promiscuity is a meme and just like globalism we're starting to see that it was a very bad idea.

>>18378024
Don't slut up.m8
It will reduce your value as a partner to zero

>>18373810

I've wanted to leave for about half a year. Pretty soon I'll have saved it up and made the right plans and leave. But making the tough decision, leaving because I'd be happier, is going to be diminished by bitter people telling me I'm running away or being cowardly. :/

Margaret,

When someone buys you for a date that doesn't mean you have to go home with them you stupid whore.

This is kinda stupid, I've been getting decent scores through and through. This last exam was some bullshit. Only 1 out of 30 people could manage. I was done with the rest of it, I thought today would be a breeze but never fucking mind.

Worst of all I took my time to actually teach what most people couldn't even understand about this fucking thing and that was just worthless shit. What's the point of having a teacher that doesn't even stop to make his shit work right but expect us to do so?

This is like teaching math by telling people how to copy it. It's completely moronic. Never felt so insulted.

>>18378044
>>18378057
Thansk for your point of view, i'll just keep doing what i'm doing.

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benis benis benis

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Alright, I admit it. I really never was able to find peace with you because even though you're with me now, I know you still love him and that you never got your closure. I ended up being the second option. I fought and crushed his soul so I could have you. He got in my way and I wouldn't let that stop my desire. Besides, he was long distance- you've never met.

We talk about marriage and kids already despite not even being a year in, and it feels so right.

I was getting so overwhelmed with frustration and bitterness that I ended up telling you that you were toxic for me. It wasn't false. You were harming me every day. You were also feeling bad. We needed to back up. I just wanted a short break to get over things. You took it as matter of fact final word and gave up on us after all the shit I had to go through to make you mine.

We spent this week in complete happiness- pure joy and magic. Why did you decide suddenly last night that my sexual history from before we dated is still a big deal to you just because we're not both virgins? Why does me sleeping around when I was single repulse you? It was college. Get the fuck over it. I have been faithful ever since the day we started- and even when you told me the truth that he was your boyfriend all along after our first month, I still fought for you. Through hell and back. I stayed faithful when you chose him. I never strayed.

Why now does me having one huge breakdown end everything for you on top of your insecurities and your unresolved feelings for your ex who you never even wanted sexually to begin with? Why the fuck are you cutting me off after everything we've promised and hoped for? You feel bad for breaking up with me and me saying I'll still fight for you- you still run away. Why the hell are you so impossible? Just give me what I want and stop looking for excuses to be unhappy.

>>18377990
>You know what I hate the most about our personalities? We tend to hurt the person we love the most. Without realizing it or without thinking about it.
That is what growing up includes. Kids only think of themselves, a mature adult should be able to see and feel beyond themselves. Cheesy, but true. It's hard though, but I recommend it.

So you want to tend to it? Good. Remember to stay strong. It will be tough. When your gf gets like that, try to apply the 3rd person thing to her, by which I mean, try to see how she feels in those times. I bet part of her doesn't like putting you through all that. So that's why depressive people get like that. They also feel guilty about it. We tend to feel personally assaulted. It hurts, but we aren't the only one hurting, when we sting we tend to forget that part. When your gf gets like that, I recommend going out one of those walks, or working on a hobby of yours. Not to ignore her, but to give her some time and space. Make a note to her that you will do your best to be available to her as you can, but take time to reflect on yourself. Yes, it's painful to watch someone we love break, but you can either give them some time, or help them directly. There will times for both.

Wrong or right path, it's about what makes you happy. If dealing with bad times doesn't overshadow what you live about her, and how she makes you feel, then you have to steel yourself and weather the storm. It's not easy. Nothing ever really is.

Communication mang. A dying skill that helps a lot on many things. We want the instant results to be good but aren't willing to see that a good relationship has hurdles, effort and work.

I wish you luck anon. Stay strong and find yourself along with helping her find herself again. Never get too upset at things she may say or do to piss you off, going to sleep angry and waking up with a bit more remorse and resentment for someone you care about is not worth it.
1/2

>>18378103
On top of this, ever since that day I called you toxic, I learned from my mistakes and why I was unhappy and already fixed it. Why must you ruin this?

>>18378104
Don't neglect yourself, that's the best thing you can do for yourself and her. The more stable you become, the easier her weight becomes to carry. The stronger you are the best your position to pull her out of that fucking foxhole becomes. Or to at least guide her out so she can do it on her own. Depression sucks, but it sounds like you have to be the stronger on here. It won't be easy, I say again, but if you see value then don't quit. Like a bleeding wolf fighting a man with a shotgun called life, you may go down but at least go down chomping at the heels of that cheating asshole.

I wish i could fall in love with just boys

>>18378024
It's up to you anon. Have lots of sex and experience many different bodies, personalities and pleasures, or don't. Life presents many opportunities to fuck, it's one of our main drives. Ask yourself, are you happy to deny your biology to save face? Does being somewhat chaste redeem you? Have you fallen for the meme of not needing validated by others?

>>18378167
>Life presents many opportunities to fuck

Well, there haven't been many opportunities in my life, mainly because I don't care about pursuing it. You say it's a main drive but I barely feel it, I have no desire to chase women and i'm not sexually attracted to men.

>>18378167
Oy vey, I wonder who's behind this post.

18 years and fucking nothing to show for it
i'm tired of feeling like this
all i ever do is let myself down and beat myself up for it

i hate my life

>>18378172
What do you care about? What motivates you to be productive?

>>18378177
Hey buddy, still going through a dry spell in the closet?

>>18378184
My interests and seeing the world. I make money so I can spend more time on my hobbies and seeing the world.

Sex is shit anyways. If I went the rest of my life never having sex again I would be ok with it.

Honestly, I would rather have a massage than have sex.

>>18378104
Thanks anon. This is probably the best advice I've yet to receive about the relationship I'm in.
I'll try.

It's gonna be difficult but I can't give up on her just yet.

I can't imagine how I would feel if she left me as soon as things start getting better for her. Boy, would I be filled with rushed emotions. I know it's her decision afterall, but I'm sure I wouldn't feel the gratitude of "helping someone". I would be filled with hate. And that's not a very nice thing to happen. I have to go to sleep, but I want to say thank you anon, for everything. It might be the things you just said that would shape my entire future. I really love reading things that make sense haha.

Goodnight anon!

>>18374254
simply do not hang around with people who do not make you feel good

>>18378237
no one makes me feel good

I'm killing myself on sunday

>>18378260
if no one makes you feel good you need to find new friends/ outlets. i felt the same a couple of years back and tried to jump infront of a bus until someone pulled me out the way and told me off. it took a while but life is pretty okay now but i would have not experienced this good if i killed myself when it got bad.

>>18378281
my life is never going to get "good." It's just going to get worse until I die from a degenerative brain disease.

>>18378298
I promise you its not, but its gonna take some work

>>18378305
so you're telling me I'm NOT going to die from a fatal brain disease?

>>18377998

Mate, based on personal experience, most black girls are nicer. And smarter.

>she also thinks BLM is retarded
Well, yeah, but those are the dumbasses who went to (((higher education))) so they do paid protests to pay off their (((Debts))) all so they can learn to act like white wimmin.

My god, the realisation of how bad they fucked up is going to hit them like a tonne of bricks in a good few years.

life isnt gonna get worse if you dont let it.

So that guy has a kid?
And you like him because he's supportive and he wants to help you out, pay for stuff for you, care for you
Basically, everything I offered minus the kid
What the hell? Why are you telling me this now?

>>18378372
>if you dont let i
you fuckers know damn well that's not up to me.

And since you aren't going to let me be free, I'm ending it myself.

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Also, way to avoid the fact I have a degenerative brain disease which is going to turn me into a fucking vegetable sometime in the next 10 years.

And in less than 5 years I'll be unable to use my hands.

I'm a painter.

Life is not going to get better. It's going to get much, much worse.

>>18378407
Women find single fathers hot as fuckkkkk.

It shows they can be manly and caring. It shows they are supportive and have their shit figured out.

>>18378409
The thing is it is up to you. live life on your own terms. use your time left to go all out and do whatever you want. im not going to tell you that you shouldnt end your life but you might aswell enjoy the time you have left and end on a high note

>>18377276
By all means, go fuck yourself D. Why haven't you blown your brains out yet?

>>18377914
She moved on, bro

>>18378540
again, how the fuck can I do that until you guys set me free? How the fuck can I live life the way I want to when you have completely severed my connection to the world?

if this horseshit doesn't end on sunday, I'm killing myself. I refuse to live any longer as your fucking prisoner.

>>18377587
You're right bro. I appreciate the honest feedback. Not sure how I let myself fall so low but I'm improving myself little by little.

>>18378421
Huntington's? Huntington's is painful... I was a caregiver to a lovely lady who was in deep. She is near the end of her line right now. My partner just got tested a few months back and his numbers are worse.

is it strange going to a bar solo because you are lonely?

just moved into a new place, friends don't really want to come over (40+ min drive for them), girl im seeing has became annoyed with me and I kind of just want a night where I go out a lone with no real intentions of making it back home.

>>18378758
To some people it is , I have had many nights like you describe

>>18373668
I figured out something that should've been immediately obvious
My hallucinations are tied to failing to make myself better, and I can't interact with others because I feel- I know- I'm not good enough for them, they're strong and I am weak, not necessarily in an objective sense, but I am not who I want to be/feel I should be. I don't want to be weak anymore.

>>18378167
go away chaim less and less people are buying it. the lonely old man whore buying thai prostitutes and the childless old cat lady aren't nice lives.
>>18378192
you've been doing it wrong or been having it done wrong to you. just saying
>>18378343
>most black girls are nicer. And smarter.
I've not had this experience but okay.
>>18378372
bold claim.
>>18378409
dementia poster, you like, I want to feel bad for you, but I'm like 90% sure you're just cousin poster larping cause he wants attention but decided the attention he was getting as a pedophile wasn't what he wanted.
>>18378741
no, that's dementia/ early onset alzheimers poster. I've told him there's promising experimental treatments and studies but he just gets mad and says I'm one of "them".

not worth the conversation.

REEEEEE why is there no food in this house

I suppose not but having been through enough of the worst things I'd still be grateful for a cat and a shawl

>>18376427
I love you and I care about you.

>>18376427
>>18378970

This.

I just want to make some good friends. I don't wanna hook up. I don't wanna deal with weird relationship shit. I just want to connect with some nice people who don't have fucked up agendas. I don't even need a ton, like, 1-3 good friends to chill and have a good time with is perf. Why is that so hard? :(

In middle school I "accidentally" pushed someone making my hand landover her boob and I just acted like nothing happened.

It's very embarassing to think about.

>>18379023

lol that shit hurts, ya know. fucking cretin

Why can I not buy BTC if the address on my license is not the same as my mailing address? This is fucking bullshit. Fuck.

I know

>>18379011
It's a long explanation

>>18378614
Take your (you) and don't ever speak to me again.

If this is really going to happen... I just cannot process what it'll be like. To be given absolute power. To fulfill my dream to be what I should have been born.

To KNOW for SURE what is going on. Why all of these music videos are about me. To know why you put secret messages in movies. To know why the shows I watch, Mr Robot, Gamegrumps, RLM, all of that... have been talking to me. To know why John Oliver is so butt hurt over my actions. Why I was part of the super bowl. Why all of these new fashions are from my art. Tl know why you are all so obsessed with the girl in all white.

To finally have answers why the world revolves around me.

To know what my origin is.

To know if I am even human.

To know if this was all just to fuck with my mind.

To finally know why this is happening to me. I cannot process that this is real. It's so bizarre. It's so fucking weird. Something like this can't happen. It just can't.

To process that this what my life has really become. I need you guys to please... please let this happen. Please tell me this sunday. God, please. Please.

I don't know how I will be able to mentally compute these things. This has been tearing me up. The stress, the anxiety is literally killing.

Please tell me already. Please. Oh god, this is my last hope for life. I can't take this torture anymore.

>>18379098

Umm..
Maybe you belong in /x/

>>18379023
Don't worry about. You aren't too bad. I used to grope girls while waiting in lines when I was in middle school. It was nice.

I've just... relived a bit of the normie life. I think hanging out with more than 3 people exhausts me.
I have a party tomorrow. What will I do? I think my friends are expecting me to make out with a guy or something. I've never been attracted to a complete stranger. I don't think I can. If only my oneitis was there. But it's very unlikely.

So my friends did a bit of research (lol...) and apparently the guy I fancy is super arrogant and it's very hard to talk to him. On the one hand, I guess I don't feel that bad about my difficulty with talking to him. But how am I supposed to approach a guy like this. Is it even possible?
I'm pretty arrogant myself. I wonder if I should show it, would he like that? Or maybe I should act like he's dumber than me lol. I bet he's so used to everyone praising him he'd be bored by more of that.
Hah, I have no idea. Maybe it's pointless. But I'm so competitive, I'm intrigued by him. I want to see what he's got.

>>18379298

Do it. Beat him up, femanon. Take him down and make him cry like a baby.

>>18379308
He's a tough one, that's for sure. I'm pretty sure I've already landed a couple of blows on his ego though.

>>18376590
Initals?

Life is sad sometimes and always catches me by surprise. I never seem to get it right, I love you too , thanks