[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

Is my hatred for my sister justified?

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 17
Thread images: 1

File: 1496073778162.jpg (42KB, 728x522px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1496073778162.jpg
42KB, 728x522px
Incoming blogpost

I (28) recently moved back home with my dad and younger sister (18) to care for my mom who has terminal cancer, and the end is now rapidly approaching. I left a good job behind (20/hr), one that I'm unlikely to find an equivalent of again. It took me a very long time to get on my feet, and as soon as I found SOME success this shit happens. Woe is me, w/e, I made this decision after all I can live with it. Anyways, more recently, the cancer, chemo, and drugs have made it so my mother is constantly confused and she has a very difficult time conveying an intelligible thought. The cancer is progressing rapidly.

It's been a downward spiral over the last 8 months, and I perform the majority of the caregiver responsibilities, in addition to most of the ever household chores, which also includes caring for two dogs, 3 cats, and a lizard (none of which are mine). My dad helps to pick up the slack and works more than full time to ensure health insurance for my mom, but my sister essentially contributes between 0 and 2%, depending on the week, and we often end up cleaning up after her.

She has a part time job, but doesn't pay any of her own bills or her own gasoline. She's out of town most weekends to go out with her whore friends to some shitty mumble rap concert, and she missed the windows of time when my mom was still "mom", before the meds and cancer completely ruined her.

She treats the home like it's her own personal resort, and I have on two occasions tried to have heartfelt talks about her helping out and being around more. She's leaving to go out of town again for the weekend and it's possible my mom might die during that period. If she misses that, then I don't think I could ever forgive her.

After this nightmare is over, I'm considering cutting contact with her and moving away.
What can I do to get back at her for making this harder on everyone? Bat through her windshield? Slash her tires? I don't really want to go to jail.
>>
>>18371217
>>18371217
>tried t have a heartfelt talk
thats your problem, you are a wuss, you arent going to have a deep emotional connection with that selfish cunt, she only cares about herself
Tell it to her straight, mom is fucking dying and i spend more time trying to fix your shit than being htere for her, now i dont know what they teach in wonderland but i didnt leave my fucking job to be your nanny so the least you can do is white the shit and blood stains ou of the toilet when you finish crying, now grab a sponge because if you leave that fucking dish dirty you are eating out of it for the rest of the week and no, tomorrow is too late to clean it so think good about it because we are having pasta
>>
>>18371217
Why couldn't they take care of her? I understand that you love your mom. I love her too, but she raised me to not screw my life over to take her of her fleeting life. She taught me she had her time and nothing would make her happier than having mine. But that's just how I was raised, and you long since made the decision.

But anyways, if she isn't paying for shit then your anger is justified. maybe she's just handling it in a different way. Some people can't stand to see someone they love dying in front of them and try to escape it, but I doubt its that since she' being a leech.
but as>>18371239
said, you give her an ultimatium that you show even a slight bit of passion or concern about her mother or you will never help her out, no money in financial issues, no taking her to the hospital if she gets hurt, no going to her funeral . Also don't do anything to "get back at her" that's childish shit you should have far grown out of
>>
Fuck man that made me angry just reading that shit....
>>
>>18371253
>emotional blackmail
now you seem thats still being a pussy
you have t show her you mean buisness, put your foot down and if she doesnt like it she has to deal with it.
That spoiled brat clearly never had a real parent well tough shit she is an adult now and the real world doesnt care
She doesnt want to pay the electricity bill? well maybe there is no power in her room, get a lock with a key op
>>
>>18371217
People grieve in different ways.

While your sister may indeed be a bitch, there is another possible explanation - that she simply can't cope with the thought of her mother dying and is expending immense amounts of energy being in denial.
>>
>>18371217
wow

no offense anon but I hope your sister gets cancer, too
>>
Sorry for your tough time anon. Your sister does sound difficult to deal with. It's easy to forget how young and dumb 18 can be compared to 28. She might really regret this time after she's matured. It was also my thought that she could be in denial. Both of you could probably benefit from therapy, although it might be hard to convince her to go.

Things that are solely hers, such as her laundry could be left to her to do. If any of those pets are hers, they could be rehomed if she's not taking responsibility. Although maybe that's too drastic?

Have you flat out said that your mom may pass away while she's gone? Has your dad also tried to talk to her? You two could form a chore schedule with everyone's names and responsibilities on it. Tape it to the fridge. Covering her cell phone bills etc could be dependent on her completing her share of chores. If she skips chores, she'll have to pay her own bills and won't have money to party. It'd have to be strictly upheld, or she won't care. The 2% of the time you catch her helping, be sure to point it out as something good. Humans are a bit like animals when it comes to reward and punishment reinforcing their behaviors.
>>
>>18371239
ohh real tough guy over here fellas, rah rah rah.

btw /adv/, never listen to people like this, they're almost always stupid and/or children.
>>
She's 18 dude, what do you expect?
>>
>>18371217

>After this nightmare is over, I'm considering cutting contact with her and moving away.

Sure. Go for it.

>What can I do to get back at her for making this harder on everyone? Bat through her windshield?

I dunno, by maybe being a goddamn adult? You're nearly a 30 year old man talking about bashing some teenager's windshield because she's acting like a, well, teenager.

If its that bad just cut contact. Grow the fuck up bruh.
>>
>>18372526
people do this all the time, even once grown up, (deliberately losing touch with other cunt relatives after a death, not slashing tires).

unfortunately common problem.
>>
I can understand your frustration. However your sister being 18, they tend to focus on friends rather than family during their young adult years. She may be coping in an unhealthy way. She could be grieving and want to get away to cool off. Speak to her in a calm voice, let her know that her mother needs her and to help around the house. Do not speak to her about it when your mad , it will cause things to shake up.
>>
>>18371330
Consider this, OP. When my dad was dying, my brother just refused to talk about it becuae he couldn't handle it.
>>
>>18372677
yeah, let's just look at the world from the perspective of an 18 year old airhead inconsiderate cunt slut.

great idea, mang
>>
What you need to understand is that, essentially your sister is acting like an average 18 years old westerner girl. Of course, this doesn't mean her behavior is right and most average 18 years old girls don't have this kind of tragedy in their families, but I wouldn't say she's doing anything villainous. She has a completely different perspective from your own and is dealing with the loss in her way, no matter how shitty that way is. Holding her to the same standards you hold yourself to is pointless.

I understand why you would feel this way, but nurturing these feelings and acting on them would bring you no happiness. You shouldn't care about how justified your hatred is, but about what effect it will have on your life. And in this case (in almost all cases, really) it will only make your life worse than it already is. I know that you can't exactly help it, that you can't control it, but by focusing on her and how she's not doing enough and not being around you're only adding fuel to the fire. This is supposed to be about your mom, not about your sister. You left your job to be with her in her final days and to help your father, not to force your sister to do the same and hate on her when she doesn't. Your family already suffers, don't make it worse with resentment and revenge. There are many things in life you can't change, letting them haunt your mind and stir negative emotions inside you will never lead to anything good.
>>
>>18371217
Well quit picking up after the slut. Cut the bitch off and let life slap her in the face....oh and get life insurance out on her just in case she gets necked
Thread posts: 17
Thread images: 1


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.