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men:

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Thread replies: 25
Thread images: 2

File: Bucky_sniper2.png (472KB, 1366x581px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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20 y/o, virgin, cute female here. a hot ass alpha male type asked me on a date but I'm terrified of sexual intimacy. i like him a lot & want to you know, do stuff with him eventually? but im too scared and i dont wanna ruin this please help /adv/

>pic unrelated
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>>18366420

How do you think you gonna ruin it?
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>>18366429
hes gonna lean in for a kiss and im going to freak out and avoid him for the rest of my life

its stupid but i just get so frightened
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>>18366420
>have casual sex and feel miserable for the rest of your life
>save for marriage and feel the coarse warm motherhood
pick 1
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>>18366436

There's nothing wrong with not being ready. You don't HAVE to date if you don't want to. Why did you agree to that date?
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>>18366438
i dont buy into that saving yourself stuff but even if i did youre forgetting that id be too scared to casually date a man that might marry me lol
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>>18366445
because he's nice and hot and i want him to kiss me and fuck me and stuff obviously thats what dating is for
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>>18366454

Well, that's the thing. If you want it, you'll need to do it even if you are scared. How else do you expect to get some action?
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>>18366461
so i just have to... play fear factor basically? theres no way to get rid of the feeling beforehand?
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REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE roastie
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>>18366448
it could be worse you could be fat
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>>18366448
Any respectful, attractive future husband buys into it.
Dates are easy. However you feel after will determine the strings of fate

>tfw all women are lost nowadays
help me cope lads
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>>18366478
cope my asshole i havent fallen down the rabbit hole of thotdom yet

>>18366474
very true
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>>18366420
>20 y/o, virgin, cute female here. a hot ass alpha male type
loool just say he's good looking is enough, the guy probably only does direct and simple things that wouldn't work otherwise
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>>18366466

What are you afraid of?
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>>18366485
vulgarity won't attract him :~)
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>>18366489
i am afraid of being vulnerable and exposed i guess. kind of afraid of closeness too i think

>>18366503
thats where you are wrong but if it makes you feel better, im cutting down on my cursing for this very reason
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>>18366518
>i am afraid of being vulnerable and exposed i guess. kind of afraid of closeness too i think

How do you plan of getting rid of that fear before hand?
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>>18366523
i was just going to forgo all romantic encounters. which is what ive been doing.

i came to /adv/ because i really had no solutions. if nobody else does either i dont mind. im no more lost than i was before i asked :)
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>>18366540

Just saying, but maybe this is your gut telling you something. Maybe you are not ready yet.

As I said above, don't force yourself to date just to say "I did it". And if you ever actually want to date, don't fight it either. Do it at your own pace.
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>>18366420
First of all, a date doesn't mean you have to get sexual.
Honestly, you're going to have to take baby steps to overcome your fear. It starts with basic trust and feeling comfortable being around him and simple contact, like him holding your arm or back while guiding you through a crowd as an example.

How would your fear manifest itself? What's going on in your head before, say a kiss?

That is of course if you don't have a trauma or some such thing, but in that case you'd be best advised to work through it with someone that knows what they're doing.

>>18366466
That's literally why alcohol is so popular (aside from being easy to make).
Comes with some hefty downsides though..
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>>18366577
holding hands sounds nice :) and the guiding me through a crowd thing i would go crazy for that

thank you for your advice honestly i think this has been the most helpful so far

and nothing goes through my mind its just a blank panic. just have to get the logic back into my head when the time comes

thank you again
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>>18366618

A gradual approach seems to be your best bet at self-help.
Also, avoiding situations that throw you out of the loop shouldn't ruin anything if you communicate that to your date.

>just have to get the logic back into my head when the time comes

Be prepared for that to not work, because not very many people can overpower emotions that way. Alternatively, you could try learning that there's nothing to fear or panic about. Or figuring out what causes your reaction, be it experience, upbringing etc.

Incidentally, how do you reckon you would react if you were the one initiating the kiss? Also panicked?
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b8.
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File: image.jpg (24KB, 196x178px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>18366466
If your'e so scared why'd you say yes? Once you act all scared and paranoid over everything your'e gonna drive him away.
Thread posts: 25
Thread images: 2


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