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Anonymous
gf of 2.5 years broke up with me 2017-05-30 05:39:56 Post No. 18365623
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gf of 2.5 years broke up with me 2017-05-30 05:39:56 Post No. 18365623
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After more than two years, my gf broke up with me. She is currently doing an internship in New Zealand, and is halfway through her time there. She broke up with me because our communication was lacking. Basically, I took her for granted and didn't pay as much attention to her life and stories (despite actually being interested in them), as well as not being there enough for her. For instance, her grandfather was in the hospital and I tried to cheer her up, take her mind off it. Of course, I should have just supported her but being the idiot I am I really thought I was helping. There were many small instances of me just being too distant (or maybe it looking like that because WhatsApp is all you have in long distance), giving her sleepless nights and overall bad days. All of this accumulated, and though she did try to talk to me about it we didn't get through it. Maybe because I didn't understand it, maybe because she had trouble explaining me what was wrong, probably a combination of the two. I have been having trouble with trust and am overall a bit pessimistic (except with her). For these troubles, I am going to a psychologist because I already felt it was troubling our relationship. My ex-gf knew this and supported me.
Last week she decided it was too much and broke up with me. We hadn't talked for a week, and today we talked again. Needless to say, my planned trip to NZ won't be happening. We were planning on going to the US with friends, but now only one of us could go. Although I would have loved to go, she had spent much more time planning. Besides, I love her and want her to be happy, so who am I to not let her go?
I told her that I was sorry, and how bad I felt that it took a break up to realise all of this. I told her she is still an amazing person, and that she deserves to be the happiest person in the world. She told me that she wanted to stay out of contact for around a month, so it would be easier to heal. Afterwards maybe slowly start talking again.
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cont: Anons, this girl was the love of my life. I've had gfs in the past, but with this one I've really felt that she is the one. I feel terrible for making someone I love so much feel so bad. Right now I don't know what to do. I feel like I should just kill myself (atempted suicide before), but also can't bring myself to it. I want to move on and become a better person like she wants her and me to do, but I also don't want to just give up on her.
She is the girl of my dreams, the one who I wanted to share my life with. And she too is still in love with me, just very hurt. Do any of you have advice on what is best for me to do? I don't know wheter I should just let her go forever or retry, and if so, at what times.
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Dude, you really believe that ? She's miles away and want to enjoy her freedom.
Also, 2,5 years is nothing, she wasn't the love of your life, this relationship meant nothing, man up ffs.
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>>18365629
I know her well enough and trust her that she won't lie to me. I've already known her for 5 years, it just took a while for us to get into a realtionship. And it may sound like nothing to you, but to me they were the best 2.5 years of my life. She is the best person I have ever met, and felt with her a connection that I believed would always stay strong.
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>>18365636
You're emotionally involved, you're attached that's why you can't see clearly.
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>>18365645
I understand that, but it's difficult. From a logical perspective I can see that it will take time, and that things will work out the same as for everyone else who's been throug this. But even so, it is still hard to work on it emotionally. Having these two contradict each other makes it even harder. I just don't know what to do with my emotions
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>>18365659
Trust me anon 2,5 years is nothing, it's attachment that makes you feel this way.
A serious relationship is where you both own a house and have kids. This was nothing but a passing romance.
Just move on. Keep working on yourself to become a better man, also work on your attachment behaviour. Always stay one and only one, able to walk away at any time to avoid this kind of hurtful situation.
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>>18365690
'just move on' is easier said than done. I really want to be able to feel what you're telling me now, that it'll be okay and that I can let go. I want to work on myself and become a person happy with themselves. But for that, I need to deal with the emotional baggage this ordeal has left me with. And I just don't know how.
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>>18365701
Write it down, get your mind busy to stop thinking about it or write her a message to tell what you haven't told.
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>>18365713
I have been trying. I've written a good 30 page story, try to work all day but it's not enough to keep me involved mentally, and she does not want to communicate for another month
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>>18365797
Why do you even care that she does not want to communicate ? If you have something to say, say it. If she blames you for it, just say you needed to vent, that's it, if she is still mad, tell her to gtfo.
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