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Help initiating intimacy

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Backstory: I went to a music festival with a group recently and this girl from a different uni and her friend came along. She is the most beautiful and fun girl I've ever talked to. I made friends with her and she added me on IG, but I never made a move which I regret, granted we were all on drugs and stuck together as a group so I never got alone time with her.

I really want to start seizing the opportunities I'm given with girls since I've only had sex once. What's the best way to get a girl by herself in a group setting? And what is the best way to go about kissing; going for it or asking?
Also, since I have her on Insta I'd like to message her, I just don't know what to say since she lives 3 hours away. Any takes on that?
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>>18365558
Don't ask to kiss a girl. There are some exceptions if you do it in the right way but if you're unsure and don't do it playfully then it will come across as weird. Typically if you're in a group find excuses to get her away from the other people. Spend time just talking with her and then offer to go explore or something dumb like that. If she's into it she will go along with it regardless of what you say as long as it isn't a horrible suggestion.
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Get a group of your friends to go down where their at for a concert or whatever then invite them . Have a boat party and invite all them hoes . Lots of liquor
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>>18365558
>I just don't know what to say since she lives 3 hours away. Any takes on that?

Probably not gonna work if she lives so far away.

>going for it or asking?

Neither. Get a feel of the mood by touching her (hugs, arms around her shoulders, touching her shoulders, light playful pushes, etc.). Then, if she is comfortable with you, you can go for the kiss. She might still say no, but at least you didn't jump out of the blue and ended up looking like an autist.

>What's the best way to get a girl by herself in a group setting?

Depends on the setting, the girl, the group, etc. Sometimes just saying "I'll go grab a beer" means she'll reply "I'll go to" and you get you alone time. There's no method here.
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>>18365558
>And what is the best way to go about kissing; going for it or asking?

if she wants you to kiss her she will be close to you, looking at you and waiting for it, receptive, always facing your way to make her approachable, then you go for it, never fucking ask it, that is cringe and will kill the mood really fast.
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>>18365573
Yeah I've never asked to kiss before but last time I made out the girl told me I should have asked her permission first. That threw me off.
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>>18365601
My girlfriend said the same right after our first kiss.
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>>18365601
>last time I made out the girl told me I should have asked her permission first
yeah op you really need to make sure you get the consent app on your phone. she needs to sign that she's okay with the agreed upon physicality, then you sign, then you need to make a timestamp and take a picture of both of you with it. Then you need to draw up the contract to clarify the boundaries of the physicality, procedures for if one of you steps outside of that, procedures for adding addendums to the contract if you both want to proceed further than the currently agreed physicality, and then you need to both sign that, get it notarized, and file it with your local antifa chapter. They will give you a body condom that covers all parts of your body except those not deemed problematic by the contract, you need to put that on in front of your local feminist leader, get her approval, and then you can kiss her.

OP, if you're really close to a girl, if she keeps glancing at your lips and maybe biting hers or putting on lipstick or lip balm, but she just keeps looking at your lips well either you've got something real weird with your lips or she wants you to kiss her.
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>>18365601
>>18365608

Did you guys do something before the kiss? Or was it completetly out of the blue?

My post is this one, >>18365579, so I'm thinking that maybe you skipped a few steps breaking the "contact barrier" before kissing those girls. They were into you, so no foul no harm, I'm just wondering.
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>>18365660
>Did you guys do something before the kiss?
yeah I called her by her friend's name by mistake.
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>>18365714

What? Haha, that always gets girls in the mood.
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>>18365721
I tried a kiss to defuse the situation and it worked I guess.
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>>18365722

But see what I mean? By moving slowly and starting with some light touching you are "asking" for the kiss. You are making your intentions clear and giving her a chance to move away without even saying it.
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It's really as easy as getting alone with her(ask her out), clicking with her and then flirt-kiss-fuck. In one way or another it's always like this with every man and woman on the planet, unless you're talking about rape or other uncommon scenarios.
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>>18365660
I took her on a date to a park, then we were sitting on the edge of my bed and talking, I moved closer, kept talking, then she paused and I leaned in and kissed her. Still took my virginity tho
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>>18365814

Again, as with the other Anon, I don't see any buildup to the kiss. As I said, it worked for you guys because those girls were into you, so congrats!

But realize why they did find it weird. You can ask without talking.
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>>18365823
Problem is I have no idea how to physically touch someone without it being awkward. Like I have no concept whatsoever of what I'm supposed to do, I'm so shy when it comes to that.

Also curious, how did you learn all this stuff? Experience or did someone like your dad or brother or sister teach you?
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>>18365838

Half me fucking up, half hearing about how others fuck up. Nowadays, I try to put myself in the other person's shoes for a second. I usually imagine how would I feel if a gay dude were to do that stuff to me (stright man) and if I ever think "the gay dude would be an asshole if he did this" the I don't do that.

For example: Kissing someone without signaling first, as we are talking here. It would be awful to have someone kiss me just because they want to kiss me and with no invitation on my part, so I don't do that.
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>>18365842
That's an interesting way of looking at it. I think a lot of my problems come from being really socially isolated by helicopter parents that put me in small private schools as a kid where I never fit in. I have difficulty empathizing with and understanding regular people.
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>>18365894

There's not such thing as "regular people". We are all quirky in our own way. Instead of trying to predic how someone will behave based on whether they are "regular people" or not, try seeing every person as their own thing.
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>>18365838
Seconding; I feel really uncomfortable touching people
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>>18365991

Do you want to kiss and have sex with them?

Work your way up with light touching. Physical intimacy should be fun, don't treat it like ripping off a band aid.
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>>18366029
I mean, how do I touch someone casually? Say, if we're getting lunch/coffee, sitting across from each other
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>>18366044

Why are you sitting like that? That's not the best position.

Last time I told her I knew how to read palms, so she gave me her hand to hold and I traced the lines with my fingers. I mean, it's not the biggest move, but at least we broke the ocntact barrier right then.
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you can start touching her hands
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>>18366751
Alright, but in what way would you like them touched, and when in the conversation?
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>>18366049
You sit beside your date instead of across from them?
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>>18367513
Touching her hands or wrists to ask about a piece of jewelry is a great way to go about this. Brushing a loose hair or something away can also be very smooth if you've already broken the contact barrier. Touching her shoulder as you're walking beside her to show her something is good as well.
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>>18367812
Thanks! Ik it seems like simple stuff but this is really helpful
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As someone who just had his first date, I'm bumping this thread.
Thread posts: 30
Thread images: 1


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