BULLY

>>18365469
1. Realize what happened to you.
2. Assure yourself that it wasnt your fault.
3. Assure yourself that being it done to you doesnt mean you are inferior or damaged.
4. Find somebody who cares about your (friend, mom, anybody willing to liaten without criticizing you)
5. Talk to them about your problems and dont hide your feelings about it.
6. Wait a week.
7. Repeat process until it gets better.

Bonus step: eat ice cream / chocolade and learn how to forgive yourself for being weak and how to hope for better future.

>how is your life going
I can assure you that with a bit of luck, some endurance and hard work your life will only get better in time.

Yes take boxing classes MMA work out and when your ready bump into him somewhere and slap the shit out of him

>How to get over extreme bullying at younger age? Like physical and all up to age of 14. Still adhere most of my problems to that at 19. I can't view the world the same as everyone knowing how evil it can get. I don't even know how normal humans function at this point like all I've ever known was dysfunction.
>Anyone else here who was bullied? How did it affect you? How's your life going now?

I was bullied. Some 77% of students are bullied, you are far from alone. It hurt me but now it doesn't effect me at all. I'm a grown woman now.

You'll make lots of new experiences which will overwrite your old and shitty ones.

We put kids into a very artificial environment. Dumping them into a whole world made up of other kids and minimal adults. Personally I don't like it, and I don't even think its healthy at all but its the best system we have so we just roll with it. There's a reason why homeschooled kids end up doing better academically and having higher self-esteem (even if they get a reputation for being "weird" by other kids). Kids are infamously cruel and callous and jr high/early highschool in particular is when peer acceptance is everything. Most kids end up both bullying and being bullied. Bullying is how they establish their pecking order.

Some adults are the same way. There are abusive and bad people. But the vast majority of people grow out of it. They get out of the artificial all-kids environments, they mature, they gain perspective. You will too. Just keep living your life. If it helps, you can try talking to a therapist.

>>18365506
Thanks anon, well definitly not gonna do the talking part and don't think it would help me. And I ate icecream before didn't help much lol. The rest might be helpful idk.

>>18365531
Not possible very much... Two of these people who were also the worst are both taking/were taking some kinda martial arts and at least one of the two is jacked and huge. I'm working out too but I'm genetically skinny as fuck, trying to change that. Never gonna be where they are physically. Still might be good idea to MMA just to get more confident but I'm even afraid to go there you know being skinny and all. Should I still try? Alternative question how to kidnap and brutally torture and kill somebody who is way bigger than you without getting caught.

>>18365606
Thanks well I doubt that number and even if it's true less than 0,1% of kids were bullied the same level as me.

>>18365628
>skips required parts of guide
>wonders why optional steps do nothing

It is as if you dont want to feel better. The talking part is crucial. You have to cry, yell, ventilate your emotions and hug somebody and let them tell you that it will be ok.

TALK TO SOMEBODY faggot! It will feel better i promise.

>>18365628
A lighter goes a long way . I like to let them think it's over then far down the road someone shows up usually around fireworks time and sit back and watch the fire

>>18365469
It would help if we knew your current situation in more details, OP. What kind of problems are you experiencing? Fear? Nightmares? Anxiety? Flashbacks? Are you able to have normal relationships with people? Do you have healthy self-esteem? Etc.

>>18365469

I basically cannot enter relationships out of fear of getting hurt

Keep large parts of myself hidden to other people because I fear they will use information about me against me

My best friend is a dropout loser with bad life choices who I can barely stand being in the company of unless I'm drunk or high

>>18365716
Have you considered therapy? It could help.
In any case, you have to unlearn the fear bullying taught you.

Start with something that's not too far out of your comfort zone, like casual relationships with colleague or people you share a hobby with. Stick to being casual acquaintances for a while until you gain more confidence. Then you can try opening up a little, and stick with that until you're comfortable with it.
You basically need to feed your brain with positive and comfortable relationship experiences so that your past can stay where it belongs.

>>18365716
This is the "They're out to get me" syndrome, I can safely say that we all went through at least a lite version of this at some point in our lives.

People generally don't give a shit, anon, I've went through rough times and kept it hidden enough to realize that it's much better to come clean and embrace your life, all your fucked up choices and all the shit you've gone through.

People will judge you, but they would've done the same without knowing your story.
People will hurt you, but they would've done the same even if you're weren't close with them.

That's life, you can't instantly change how your peers function, you can only change your own outlook on life.

Some folk put 7 locks on their door, afraid that someone will randomly break into their apartment and steal their pocket change. If someone really wanted to break in, he would, 6 more locks won't stop him, maybe just slow him down.

>>18365685
Anxiety pretty much I guess, mood swings, inferiority complex, anger issues, insomnia... also many times esspecially when I'm in company I feel like I'm watching myself from the outside... numbing out very often like a zombie.
And also pretty much >>18365716

>How did it affect you?

Negativity is a disease, especially when experienced through the social realm like humiliation etc. The negative behavior is passed from the bully to the person who is bullied, creating a wound that never quite heals. If you dwell on this wound, or feed it with drugs & alcohol, it will grow. Your weakness will grow, filling you with hate and a pessimistic view on the world, which is compounded by the affect it has on your social skills and relationships with other people. This is where I am now

>>18365506
>3. Assure yourself that being it done to you doesnt mean you are inferior or damaged
But how can I ever think this? I was the only one bullied in the entire class.

>>18365898
A lot of point 5 and the point 6 followed by 7. No other way around it.

I would hug you anon and do it myself, but 4chan can emulate hugs yet.

>>18365924
I yet have to acchieve number 4. I'm still trying.

>>18365945
Common, nobody really? Mom? Any friend? Siblings? Paying psychologist / theraphist works too. Fuck even people online works. But it isnt as effective.

Why is everybody on 4chan so lonely?

>>18365961
My mom is part of the problem, my sisters don't really get it since I'm the only boy in the family, and no real friends. I guess I can afford a therapist. Thanks anon.

>>18365469
Forgive them and then forgive yourself, then make sure it doesnt happen again, how? self improvement, it is a long way dont expect change in a day or even a week

>>18365968
>mom is part of problem
Jezus fuck, when will the single mothers learn. WHERE IS YOUR DAD?

And btw the sister can work. Ask them for a favor, that you need to talk to them and ask them if they could hug you at the end. If she isnt total sociopath and has free time, she should help you.

Just dont be afraid of reaching for help or crying. Tell her all you want.

>>18365469
The biggest thing I had to get over is that while people bullied me about one thing or another, they weren't specifically picking on that, they were picking on me. If it weren't one thing, it would have been another. You were bullied because you were a target of bullying, not because you were fat or weird or had acne or big ears. You're self-conscious about those things, but they are meaningless.

>>18365469
I am 26 yo and still hate Teenagers. I feel threatened by them.
Fuck bullies.

>>18365971
Fuck forgiving them, I wouldn't forgive them even if they were normal now, and the reality is that they are still assholes and proably will be their whole life. Some people just deserve to die. I don't care about their supposed childhood harms or whatnot.

>>18366204
This... for me they didn't even pick on anything usually... I wasn't even very ugly just weak and alone. Really makes it harder to overcome as there's nothing to change, nothing what you can put the blame on and move on. Just you're very being. Like seriously sometimes I could scream like why did you have to ruin some poor little boys life for literally fucking nothing? I truly hate people.

>>18366433
Yeah it fucking sucks senpai. And there's nothing you can do even if they apologized to you. You just need to remember that this was never about you specifically.

> How did it affect you?
I was depressed and wanted to kill myself every other day.
> How do you feel now?
Very good and I've become socially better. I've used my bullying experiences to learn, become a stronger person and to understand human nature better. I still don't like the people that did it, but I don't hold a grudge. I stand up for people being bullied now and life is good.

>>18365469
if OP is still here i'd like to comment on >>18365506
>Assure yourself that it wasnt your fault.
most likely you could have done something to change it, but no one had taught you otherwise.
we get this idea that bullying disappears in adults, when really it just becomes more subconsciously seated in every day interactions.
Just makes sure you can get an objective view on the person you were as a kid, knowing that it had to do with the examples of inspiration you had around you growing up. Then research on ways to re apply efficient disciplines