what should I do with my life?

Focus on finances and health first, when you are stable try to feel happy on your own. You don't need a women to be happy, the sooner you realize that the better you'll be. Then when and only when you are satisfied and stable should you try to date agian. It will just be worse for you to try to get in a relationship when you are not stable at all.

>>18364381
I'm not sure how important your love life has been to you in the past, but maybe it's best to spend time focusing on yourself.

I'm in sort of a similar position as you in that I'm depressed and just recently got out of a pretty serious relationship. I've always felt that the one thing I want to do with my life is raise a child with a woman I love, but that sort of life goal can be frustrating since you have much less control over becoming successful than you would be if your goal was to have a career. To counter this frustration and keep from trying too hard and coming off as desperate, I've noticed that it's extremely helpful to focus more on yourself than finding someone else to help you feel happy and fulfilled.

I'd say get /fit/, focus on your career and do whatever you must to mold yourself into the kind of man a great woman would be lucky to be with. Focus less on finding some random skank to fill your time and focus more on developing new hobbies and skills that will make you more attractive to the type of woman you actually want to be with for the rest of your life. I mean you could do this all just for yourself too, but do whatever you need to do for motivation.

>>18364420
>dont need women to be happy
I've heard this a few times before anon, maybe I should start to listen. And yeah I'm not that stable right now, is using tinder and online dating sites on the side a bad idea? I do think it brings out the worst in people.

>>18364449
My love life has always been the most important thing, but then I have always been pretty unhappy, just a strong of awful girlfriends bar a couple. I can fully relate to wanting to raise a child, whenever I picture my future self I always see myself with a lovely brunette waifu with kids and me making enough money to provide from my own business.
>some random skank
I have managed to bang one girl since the breakup, that made me feel happy that one night but the feeling disappeared as soon as I got home.

I'll try to take what both of you are saying on board. I'll focus on my health and career. Trying to get laid has always made me feel like a loser which makes it harder to get laid so maybe I stop trying to make that the goal.

Op here, my last problem is I keep comparing my life to my ex's and they always seem to be doing way better than I am which depresses me further, each case they left me so it feels like I drag people down and that they are happier without me, maybe that relates back to the first problem of not being stable myself, I think you've solved it anons

>>18364531
Always remember that the one person you should keep happy is yourself. It may sound selfish, but if you're positive the it will show on others making them want to be positive. It sounds like bs but the agian the people who hate hearing that stuff are also unhappy with their lives.

>>18364531
I'm glad you're feeling a bit better OP. Life is hard for everyone, even those that appear to have it all figured out.

Try not to compare yourself to others, especially your exes, and especially after you've broken up. I guarantee they're struggling with shit too, they just put on a facade because they don't want you to know that they're having a hard time too. This is why you cut all possible contact with your exes, it just turns into a pointless game of who is happier without the other.

Like I said man, focus on yourself and good things will come.

>>18364544
Yeah I'll try and keep positive and focud on the things that I actually can control

>>18364567
A pointless game of who is happier than the other describes my situation perfectly. I just feel like I need to succeed more than the certain ex that fucked me up and put me in this mess, its so hard to get them out of my mind.

>>18364594
I am trying to start my own company so maybe I'll just put 110% of my time into that while also keeping physically healthy and try to forget all about women for now

I'm in a very similar position. I hope things get better for you anon, I wouldn't wish this feeling on anybody. I haven't left the house in almost two months and every time I think about her I end up physically sick. I have no appetite and no energy.

>>18364601
>Not left the house in two months, meanwhile she is out partying multiple times every week. No appetite or energy
Literally me, i lost 20kg after one of my breakups in only a few months, (90 to 70) purely from depression, but we are men anon, we can handle this shit. Try to make each day slightly better than the last, then you will eventually come to a point where each day is a good day

>>18364610
Yep, she has a bar job and is getting hit on constantly. I know she isn't 100% and isn't looking for a relationship but the thought makes me ill, my feelings haven't changed towards her at all and I still feel protective over shit like that. We were together for 5 years, she was my only true friend and the only person I can be myself around so I feel like I've lost everything. I know exercise and diet it important but like you said I can't get out of bed most days and I can barely eat. It fucking sucks.

>>18364616
5 years is a long time anon, my worst break up was only a 2 year relationship but man did it end badly, I was away for 3 months for work. I even sent her some money while I was away cause she was poor. I returned home to find out she had become a prostitute behind my back and had also slept with nearly everyone I knew. I lost loads of friends along with a large portion of my life that day. I still haven't fully recovered from that and that was 2 years ago. I was like you bed ridden and depressed for months but if I can get out of that then you can too anon.

We come from a long chain of people fucking and surviving all the way back to the start of mankind, through wars, famine, plague, natural disasters etc do you really want to break that chain over a single woman?

>>18364626
Ouch, really sorry to hear that anon. I can't begin to imagine how painful it must've been. We didn't break on bad terms exactly which in a way makes me more confused. I don't have anything to put my feelings towards, I still have happy dreams about her etc then wake up and already feel drained. It happens every day. We met when we were 17, we were each others first, we were inseparable, we had money saved up to buy a house together, and since breaking up I haven't been able to leave the house so I've lost my job. It's hard for me because we were inseparable and it was so long that she was my only friend. I now have nobody to talk to whatsoever. I'm not pretending mine is anywhere near as bad as yours though, I'm glad you're doing well now. How long does it take before this starts to pass? I've been waiting and waiting.

>>18364641
Despite the awful things she did that didn't change my feelings for her, I still loved her even though I didn't want to be with her, she still wanted a relationship but just wanted to cuckold me (of course I dumped her on the spot). Shit was the most fucked up thing ive ever gone through. I near contemplating killing myself after that. And I'm not going to lie anon it took me along time.

Here's a rundown, hopefully it helps even a little bit that way some good can come from what I endured:

I spent about 5 months in a similar state to you then i had to go back to finish my final year of university. Moved in with some friends who didn't know my ex plus two of their friends that I didn't know. Then by pure luck one of them was a qt 3.14 who started flirting with me.

Dated her for about a month but I was still really fucked up and had to end the relationship for several reasons. I then became a complete degenerate asshole for the first semester. All I gave a shit about was partying and trying to bang chicks.

In that drunken phase I managed to bang maybe 6ish girls that semester (mainly because I was so depressed I didn't give a fuck and literally flirted with everyone, probably came off as confidence I should say I am terrible with women and up to this point I had never,not once had a single one night stand or managed to pick up a girl from a night out drinking). None of that made me feel happier though.

Second semester begins, realise I had started to fuck up all the effort I have put into my degree so far so decide to man up and knuckle down with study. This is about 10 months after the evil ex, I meet some girl randomly who is a friend of a friend and I just noticed that I was actually happy when I was with her, after 10 months of depression.

With the girl that made me happy for 1 year, finished college, got a new job, moved to a new city, she then tells me that she doesn't love me anymore. Here I am now.

>>18364685
Thankyou for that, honestly. I feel semi optimistic about it getting better, like I'll eventually make it like you did. I have a very long way to go but it doesn't seem quite so impossible. I just need a little more time. I'm glad you're out of most of your problems. You're killing it.

>>18364381
Exercise. Focusing on will just bring too much stress. I had a bad ending to a relationship and the first thing that came to my mind was trying to find other chicks. I was still heartbroken and the last thing I wanted to do was to hang out with women for a while.

Got to take care of yourself first and there has been constant studies that says exercise really is a positive for you emotionally. Go pump iron bro!

>>18365033
Thats good to hear, it did take me 10 months before I felt any form of happiness again. I dont think you should try and find happiness in other women like I did though, that definitely didn't last and if anything made it worse, hopefully it won't take you so long. Saying this it seems like I could have given myself my own advice, kind of funny.

>>18365062
Great thing about depression is that its really easy to control your diet when nothing tastes good anymore. So thats half of it done, just need to find the motivation to lift now.