GIOYC -- Get it off your chest

All my friends are drug addicts or mental like me. No one wants to be close to me. My mood swings have left me jaded, I don't even know how to open up anymore, I lie constantly. I'm not strong enough to climb back up to the rightful path on my own. I worry most of the time.
I need someone, not something but someone that I can trust, someone that believes in me and guide me through this shit. Cause I'll be damned if I ever end up like my parents.

lol, you faggots try so hard to gaslight me or make me feel guilty.

It's not working. You guys are retarded.

I posted about this the other day. I have a college chemistry assignment, we do the laboratory together but we can't work together on the assignment related to the class. One of my lab partners asked for my report, I didn't want to send it because I don't want them to piggy back off my hours of effort into it and I don't want to get done for plagiarism. I told her I don't give people assignments and they replied 'can I get x,y,z section of assignment though' which is 4/5ths of the assignment. Should I just ignore them at this point?

>>18360880
This nigger. You squizzo bro?

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>>18360798
I suffer from several sleep disorders. Night Terrors, Sleep Paralysis, Hypnagogic Hallucinations, you name it.
I've been a frequent lucid dreamer, but as spiderman's uncle once said; "great powers come with great responsibilities", "great dreams often are accompanied(at least for me) by great(in the sense of being bad) nightmares".

In the last few months I've experienced more and more night terrors. I'd often wake up jolting, screaming and throwing blows at thin air. This has really fucked up my life, as I can't get a night's worth of sleep. I'd often find myself avoiding sleep altogether. As scientific explanations go, sleep deprivation leads to more sleep disorders such as sleep paralysis.

I've become a very irritable person with the worst mood. My friends don't stand me. My family doesn't stand me. My sexual partner now sleeps on the sofa, since she started sporting bruises. I'm glad she hasn't left me yet.
>sporting bruises.
This has got the attention of the police, and I've had to go through investigations. I've been sent to therapists and counselling, but seems no one else is as fucked up as I am. Doctors won't prescribe me meds since I won't take them.
>I won't take them.
I've known someone who committed suicide while taking such meds. Other explanation is that they may or may not increase my symptoms.

I've grown restless. It has been months since I've had a lucid dream. I can't stand it anymore. I contemplate suicide sometimes. I've heard the "your family will suffer" "friends will suffer" bs, but still, death may be the only other peaceful option. I can't stand not being able to have a good night's sleep.

> take a nap.
Won't work. I've woken up to screams during the day. Gladly the college dean knows of my situation so I don't get as fucked as one would of they were caught sleeping during class.

What do I do?

>>18360938
sure.

tell me, are you afraid?

There's a reason you guys never use your names. People kill for me, literally.

I want to stop seeing my therapist even though I'm not okay yet but I'm not making progress. But he always says something like just come here a few more sessions and then we talk about it and I have no will power to just say I want to stop going.

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>>18360996
When is the last time you saw your psychiatrist?

>>18361009
NEVER stop going to therapy. It doesn't matter if you're not insane. People need to see a therapist for most of us are to stupid or to dumb to solve our own shit.

Wanna become a better person?
GO TO YOUR THERAPIST.

>>18361033
But it's a long trip and it costs money

>>18361030
How jealous are you?

Your constant bitching of and aversion to your father makes me fucking laugh, because you're exactly like him.

How are you different?

You laughed at his real life relationship with a 19 year old, yet you maintained a 12 month online relationship with a 13 year old through fake accounts, and you were 20 years old.

You laugh at his lack of success, and yet you're 22, a high school dropout, working a minimum wage job, with no savings and no prospects. The only reason you've jad a car and licence for the last 2 months is because other people paid for you to have them. Pathetic.

You curse him out for abandoning and not caring about you, and yet you're nothing short of a sociopathic, using, emotionally abusive cunt to everybody in your life. You, like your father, are nothing but a bitter disappointment to everybody who has the misfortune of knowing you.

get a lithium perscription and a shrink. Maybe you can become somebody of use to society, rather than the lecherous, waste of oxygen you are now.

I did it. I fucked him and it felt so damn good to pleasure someone like that. It was such a deep satisfaction to make him cum in only a couple minutes from my mouth alone. I loved how taking him balls deep in my mouth made his whole body shiver.

I thought I'd feel guilty since he's married but I really don't and that's so freeing. It felt like too much fun being intimate with each other.

>>18361101
Not at all, I think you need help. Not for the sake of shitposting or for coming onto 4chan -- but because your comments don't make any valid sense to me which makes me believe you need to have your thoughts sorted out.

>>18361164
Yeah, you're jealous.

You need to get help anon. Stop obsessing.

I hate some of my friends and their stupid fucking gay clique they hang out with. All you do is cocoon yourselves in a nice feel-good bubble where nobody will ever make you think too hard or make you question your ideas and opinions. Being fat is unhealthy, there's no such thing as having no gender, Pansexuals are just Bisexuals and don't need an extra name, being trans is most likely a psychological aberration, Capitalism is the best system we have, refugees are not fucking welcome unless they go through intense screening, Donald Trump is not hitler, the wage gap is a myth and your blind positivity gets nobody anywhere. Fuck you.

>>18360906
bump

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I finished writing my suicide note. See you.

I need advice:

I have a good female friend, actually my only friend, who I have some type of fucked up romantic feelings towards. She's also taken and I'm jealous.

A lot of the time I can't enjoy myself with her any more. The whole situation has me miserable and depressed. I try to not let the depression and bitterness get through to her but sometimes I can't help it.

At this point, would it be more selfish to cut off contact with her or to keep things as they are?

I don't want to cut her out because I really care for her a lot, we have a lot of history and I don't have any other friends, but I think the sense of finality would be good for me. It would also mean not exposing her to my problems any more and making her worry about me. The problem is I don't want to hurt her by suddenly cutting her out. I'd have to tell her why, too. She texts me almost every day asking how I'm doing. If I just stopped responding she'd probably send the cavalry to my house thinking I'd killed myself.

I've not had a good weekend. It's been playing on my mind the conversation we had on Friday night. I had started to become very excited about our plans, but I don't feel any of that any more. I think you are running away from your problems rather than addressing them, and if we went ahead with it youd continue to be miserable and I'd be stuck with it for two months.

That's the word, stuck. I don't want to be stuck with you. I want to be with you because it makes us both happy but I'm not sure either of us are content with it, I wonder if you just cling on to me cos it gives you some sort of comfort and I stay because I worry what would happen if I left, or just because I got comfortable, or maybe I'm just too much of a coward to end it.

>>18361257
Been there man, what made me rid of feelings was just keeping my distance and pick out all the things that would put me off and reconsider my position. In all likelihood you idealized her due to the fact she's your only friend, but I don't know. Just keep more of a distance and try and find opportunities to pursue someone else.

why did I have to open my fucking mouth again, and why did I show up to hang with her super stoned like that.

I hate myself.

>>18361257
You need to meet more girls. Like you said, she's your only friend.

Once you are able to see there are more options out there, you'll be more likely to get over the fact that she's taken and just have a platonic thing going. Ask her if she knows any cute girls and see if she can set you up with one of them.

You're a liar and are trying to use my medications as a scapegoat for what you're doing to me. You don't do what you're doing to someone, especially to your child.

>>18361337
>In all likelihood you idealized her due to the fact she's your only friend
Oh no doubt.

>>18361358
>meet more girls
I have zero social skills and the charisma of a dead trout. Never been on a date in my life. I wouldn't know where to go to find women, how to get one to be interested in me, or what to do if one was interested in me.

>ask her if she knows any cute girls
She would have tried to set me up with one if she did. She's pushed me towards dating sites and other girls before, I just bomb it all.

>>18360861

I-I want to be your friend anon.

>>18361257

She's a good friend. Maybe you can make other friends so this balances itself out a bit

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It´s not like my life has been really bad , it´s not like anyone has been that bad with me in my life , it´s not like my parents were bad , it´s not like someone ruin my life appart from me
It´s just like , I don´t feel like living anymore , every day is like any other , nothing happends in it , the days just blend together , it´s like time never ends , I dropped my studies , I dropped my friendships , I dropped all I had just because I wanted to for some reason I still don´t know

I spend my ridicolous days browsing /adv/ , playing some outdated videogames and waiting to some messages that never come , there is really not purpose for me to stay here

Nobody likes me and I'm a terrible person to be around. Should I just kill myself?

My ex keeps talking shit about me on Steam and Discord. It's been over a year at this point and I haven't even said a single word to him in all that time. I wish he would fucking stop and realize that he's just making himself look bad to his online "friends."

I'm so glad I purposely make my online personas vague even after several years so people won't identify me or hardly remember me. There's some fucking weirdos out there man

>Writers/producers are this bad at their jobs, unoriginal and retarded
Way to give away the whole game LOL

I am purposely pushing others away so someone will realize how worthless and lonely I feel, even though I know it is only making me look like an ass. Every flaw in my self that is validated by someone else makes me feel shittier and less of a quality person, so I try to make others feel guilty for my worthless life. I go as far as to push away and ignore my good qualities and push away my talents to make myself feel worse and only hope that someone will come along and validate my existance, though I know it will never happen.

>>18361570
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qFfFVSerQo

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>>18361558
>tfw befriended someone on /pol/
>tfw they wanted an email
>smart enough to make a completely new sockpuppet account.
>they were completely batshit and talking a bit like dementia bro in here.

>>18360938
He is, he has been lurking here for almost a year.

>>18361167
Lol

>>18361694
he's said several times he's been diagnosed with dementia. he's in a psych hospital or something. >>18360938

>>18361694
>>18361737
Blows my mind he comes onto 4chan after a dementia diagnosis from a year ago

Boyfriend left me but wanted to stay in contact. I'm fucking terrified that he'll say he'll never love me again, or want to try again. I'm less scared of dying than I am of this, it's fucking horrible, and what the fuck am I supposed to do about it

>>18361748
blows my mind that he showed up right when cousin poster disappeared. almost like they're both just some really sad larper.

I think I'm losing my mind. I felt like I was dreaming all day yesterday and today. I can't seem to differentiate between my dreams and reality anymore. I keep doing random shit like putting the oatmeal in the vegetable drawer, taking the tv remote with me to bed, sleeping for 17hours at a time. I'm not sure what is wrong with me and the doctors think I'm a healthy boy so I have no one to help me.

My stomach problem isn't clearing up as well. The acid reducers are just making me shit liquid so I stopped taking them. my heart is hurting and whenever I eat I feel like I'm going to throw up.

I'm not sure what's going on anymore. I'm thinking of offing myself before I'm gone completely. Don't wanna live in a ward. The vitamins aren't helping. No food. Can't find another job. So lonely. Still feels like I'm dreaming. Maybe if I just sleep some more

I'm falling for my mates sister.

She's, ahem, a big girl (not a turn on for me generally) and not great looking, but she's just a delightful person. Funny, smart, all that shit.

I'm actually not that fussed about any of it my self. She's got other ways of being cute. To be crass, I'd have no problem fucking her.

I'm scared if I pursue it, I'll let other people's opinions get in the way, which could hurt her (do not want) and sour the friendship with my best mate (do not want).

But not pursuing it could be a straight up mistake.

>>18361748
Yeah, it has been getting worse and sadly just 4chan is the only place he has to vent. Just leave him alone, hopefully he is getting treatment and have people that cares taking care of him. But be aware he gets very agressive for anything, so just avoid responding to him.

>>18361627
Don't think I don't know where you live.

my gf 1 year and almost 6 months just told me she doesn't want me smoking weed.

a couple of things: I barely smoke weed, maybe just on weekends with friends or if offered. I don't smoke anything else, only drink socially at parties. I'm responsible with school, work, etc, never had any problems with weed or pretty much anything really. I'm an ok guy.

she has smoked before and didn't really mind it at all until about a month ago when she started having negative repercussions with second hand smoke in general: coughing, throat hurt, hair stinks etc. the thing is I never smoked with her, only at parties where we were both together.

now she's making me choose, either I stop smoking or she needs to "reconsider" some things about that she's never going to change; I called her out because I think it's more about controlling me, rather than me smoking weed.

I have no problem not smoking, I just dislike the fact that she's making me do it simply because she wants to. anyone ever been in a similar situation? How do I talk about this with her in a tactful way?

My biggest fault was being broken. It was letting it all get to my head, warp who I was, who I am, and not seeing that you wanted to help despite having your own faults. My fault was being too weak to fix myself, too prideful to listen. Too apathic to care.

What can I do now? What now that I finally worked past all that but lost you in the process of fixing that? What now?

>>18361887
I'm in a similar situation, but in a mindset of your girlfriend. I just don't approve of any substances that alter the cognition, and if my SO drinks/smokes, it makes me reconsider how trustworthy that person is.

I'm fucking tired of being alive in this world. My only hope right now is to get drunk as fuck by the end of the day.

>>18361762
He's not emotionally dependant on you anymore. The fact that he still wanted to stay in contact with you was so he could exploit you when convenient at his whim.

He's more than likely crushing on someone else and has you as back up if it doesn't work out with said person.

Give him an ultimatum and if he refuses cut off all contact and move on.

>>18361921
Reach out, maybe she'll give you another chance?

Message for Dalena

DAMN IT DALENA! It fucking hurts that you rejected me, it felt so devestating even tho i don't really know you. I just felt like i knew you from the past, i felt comfortable and happy being around you even as brief as it has been.

I'm not a fucking player, i know it might've seemed like it but thats just how i talk to try and get attraction. I never intended to use you, i really liked you and i'm sorry for being too forward and physical with you. I don't know how to fucking act anymore, i just know that deep inside IT GOD DAMN FEELS LIKE SHIT. I thought we'd be good together, fuck it. Im shit, or what?

Look you rejected me but i still wanted to be friends, you said you'd like that too and want to hangout still, WELL WHY DO YOU AVOID ME THEN? Why the hell do you never msg me, you make me feel like a foul smell that you're avoiding. So why fucking tell me you still want to hangout and be friends??? I'd love to be your friend if thats all you wanted but i know... you already have plenty of guy friends, why would you want another? Especially one that you think is a no good player... I have no fucking friends and i thought if i couldn't be with you i'd want to be friends, yet that isn't even good enough.

Fuck this... Why cant... things go right for me? I try and try yet the more i gain, the more i lose. I'm god damn hopeless, and i just want to be your friend. But im just a player, a stalker? not worth being a friend????? I know you're awkward but you make me feel like shit. Fucking hell.

>>18361967
Cont.

What am i to do? i miss... talking to you, talking to you felt really... FUCK YOU FOR IGNORING ME, FUCK THIS SHIT, FUCK EVERYTHING FUCKING HELL IM SO PISSED OFF. You're like everyone else, you think you're better than me, you're fucking nothing, I HATE YOU I HATE EVERYONE. I WILL FUCKING SHOW YOU WHO IS BETTER. GOD DAMN IT, Why cant i cry? i want to cry, why is my face dry, and emotionless? I want to cry and let out my feelings but it feels trapped inside, this possible sadness that has no release. I want to die... but i don't but i do? Depression i will not let you overcome me again but... it always tries to creep into my life. I used to be so nice, loving and happy, then life, everyone else made me feel sad and alone. I wish the world ended and everyone was gone.

I hate my family, i have no friends, i hate everyone else, i feel so fake, i have no actualy FRIENDS, NO ONE. Everyone always leaves me, and i try be good but my head hurts...

I am good but... i need help, i need someone to remove me from this world. I love cherie, but you're not the one for me. I want phung back but im not the one for you. Why is it the one i wish to be with forever is never forever.

I wish i was dead.

>>18361857
Look at you, same fagging this hard.

Get something to do. Seriously, how retarded are you? What you're trying to do hasn't worked ever.

>>18361792
>>18361857
Well shit. Thanks anons for filling me in. Message received, will not engage.

>>18362014
Seriously, who has a conversation like that? Who are you trying to fool here?

>>18360798
J,
If I didn't let you fuck me, would you still want to be my friend?

>>18361966
I've tried. She responds with confusion, as if she wants to, but at the same times does not. It's been months. I should just give her space and fuck off. Yet, she won't say it. Neither will she say that I should stay. It's that one fucking song from The Clash "Should I Stay or Should I go". This shit is wearing, and exhausting. No person should have to live this way, I need to let go. Even though it hurts.

>>18362021
I have these really intense moments when I miss you like crazy but it goes away as soon as I jerk off.

I obsessed about cumming inside you. It was the only thing I thought about when we hung out.

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I really want to get into webcamming as a source of income, but I am lacking funds on buying outfits and toys.
Right now the only thing I have is a pink wig, baby oil, shimapan panties and bikini, and a 1080p webcam.

I want more cute outfits like the kitty keyhole lingerie thats trending or the virgin killer sweater. I even saw this cute ruffle cow outfit.

Im not really looking for advice. Im just ranting because im frustrated that its hard getting into this job with no funds to start off with. I know once it kicks off i can buy dozens of outfits and wigs.

My whole appeal is pretending to be a virtual girlfriend in addition to webcamming. So far I have 6 fans I talk to on a daily basis. They seem to really like the whole girlfriend roleplaying thing i do. They are really sweet and polite too which is the best part. One of them even gave me a couple recipes from his university cookbook. I love talking with them and hearing about their problems but i wish i could do more for them without having to be all like "pay up." But i really need money and cant live off of small virtual gifts forever.

I guess, all i can say is oh well. Slow and steady wins the race :c

But damn even if i had the money to buy an outfit and toy, i wouldnt know which to buy out of aaaall the choices. I want to pick something really erotic but still cute that every kind of man and woman could like. I thought about a dildo that cums so i could like give it a handjob or blowjob on cam but i heard theyre super expensive.

Rest in peace my wallet u_u

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>>18361879
mate I'm known on both /pol/s and have made it pretty obvious I live in houston as of recent for reasons lol. idgaf, time to stop doing shit from the shadows and make my presence known. plus it's a better defense against the people that hacked me with government level tools last month to have people know who I am and that I exist. makes it a lot harder to suicide me by strangulation and 5 shots to the back of the head.

>>18362021
That honestly depends on what initial you are.
But, then again, I've never smashed before.

>>18362044
You are almost as pathetic and gross as the virgins that pay you money to interact with you

I don't want to live here anymore. I really don't like these people.

Why would I? They are all lying to me and fucking with me.

>>18362090

Not my fault men are perverted and desperate enough to pay a girl to just talk to them lol

In fact, theyre so desperate that webcam models make $2k a week off of their sorry asses

lol i have bills to pay and perverts just happen to have extra cash

>tfw finance job offer
oh look, parents, I'm not janitor or bartender material. what a surprise. lets get this 5 year plan moving again. FUCK YEAH, CAN'T STOP WON'T STOP, GOT SHIT TO TAKE CARE OF.

Can this be over now?

Please?

What the fuck is this about?

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>>18362134
yeah you're subhuman trash desu

how's it feel to be useful for nothing other than your body

enjoy it while it lasts

>>18362169
it's about you having dementia and your doctors not having the balls to try experimental treatment to see if they can fix it. my guess is you have plaques in your brain that could or could not be disintegrated using ultrasonic technology being implemented very experimentally for alzheimers. though that doesn't address the reason for the formation of the plaques. my bet, fungal or bacterial infection. there's entirely too little research into fungal infections even though they cause some seriously weird symptoms and the known ones cause symptoms similar to some of the most serious diseases humans experience.

tldr, you have dementia, you keep coming to an anon site where normal people can't even differentiate most of the personalities here half the time, and your doctors are hamstrung by current medical establishment policies from undertaking the kind of work that could either help you or kill you; so you remain as you are and annoy this board.

that or you're the same larper that took on the role of cousin poster.

I break everything I go near! I don't know what's wrong with me its like I can't stop ruining things! Everything that was good in my life has been fucked up, by me! I can't even blame it on drugs or alcohol or something understandable if seems to be built into my genes to take something good and break it beyond repair! I'm so unbelievably angry at myself all the time but I still can't stop fucking things up! What is wrong with me goddammit

>>18362202
>those exclamation marks
you the girl with the guy at work that isn't really work but more like volunteering?

>>18361145
I'm assuming you're a young woman having sex with a higher status older man?

>>18362193
so much typing I didn't read.

I enjoy what we can have. I told you that at this point of my life I have projects, not dreams.
You are my dream, a little dream that I have to leave unspoken and wait for it to naturally die or change.

>>18362255
A-Amanda?

>>18361627

That's why you don't go to /pol/

>>18362255
You are my dream too.

>>18361951

Actually solid advice.

>>18360798
Here's the thing /adv/. I've met this girl and talked to this girl for almost two years. She was in a shit relationship with some trashy guy, and we talked back and forth, technically like BFF's. We made each other laugh and such. When my mother passed some time ago, she sent me some uplifting messages. She had to move out of her place since the lease was up and was living with her kids and crazy ex. I was fine that we were talking like best friends and such, but after my mother's death, it just clicked.. I am in love with this woman. She gave me some groceries, even though I denied her, saying "Nope, don't do it". She did it anyways. Now, she had to move in with a guy she knows for a while, which I've met, and he seemed okay. I did let her know how much she means to me. She knows. I think she is in a relationship with this dude, which I didn't care much at the time, but since I had these feelings, I feel.. hurt, even after I told her everything that I am in love with her and such. Now, this dude, he got into a motorcycle wreck, he's got some broken bones, didn't wear a helmet, and she kept calling him "spoon" whenever she posts updates of the situation. It is a horrible situation, but I feel that since she did mention that he was a bit bipolar before, I am afraid that's going to happen again, where he and she would argue and such.. I tried to warn her beforehand, but she caved in.. I am conflicted. Again, I feel hurt that she knew I loved her like that, and now seeing that she calls this dude "spoon", I think I should just call it a loss, and just continue to talk to her as I normally do.. without the lovey dovey stuff.

What do?

IMK,
You're a shit friend. You're one of the most self absorbed people I know. You broke my heart, and it wasn't because you didn't reciprocate my feelings for you. No, you broke my heart by leaving me when you said you wouldn't, during what was one of the darkest moments of my life earlier this year. In the time we've known each other, I've done all that I can to be a good friend to you. Stayed at school till midnight to work on your projects. Defended your name when you weren't around. Comforted you when you were scared or sad, even when you pushed me away. I think I can truly say that I never let you down.

But the moment I asked you to come through on your promise, you bailed. I was left to my own devices. Though things are better now, I am still incredibly hurt and still angry with you. So many times I've typed out a message like this one to you, only to erase it. I'm torn between wanting to be heard but also feeling pathetic about all of this. I don't want to have to beg someone to care about me.

I don't know why you had to leave me. Sometimes I almost hate you for it. But I know you're a better man than this, and maybe that's why I haven't cut you off completely. I just stopped chasing after you. I do hope that you'll come back around someday so we can figure this shit out. There's still so much that has to be said between us. If you ever decide to be that man again, you know where to find me.

Sincerely,
RMR

>>18362279
#notall/pol/lacks
that one was crazy but there's a lot of really good people on /pol/. they come off as abrasive to a lot of people because of the belief structure and collective drive but I don't think there's more interesting, loyal, value driven people anywhere else on the internet. there are a few crazies though and genuine retards that will call anyone other than themselves either a jew or a shitskin.

/pol/ isn't what it used to be though with a relatively recent masssssiiiive influx of people. the values and culture have been diluted and it'll be interesting to see where it settles. the basis is there but the understanding is gone. a lot of the old fags went to double /pol/ so the teaching and passing on information is lacking.

>>18362056

Don't kill yourself. I think you're pretty interesting and not bad looking lol. Stick around, anon. Let me study you from afar :)

>>18362255

I liked reading this message. Say more, anon

>>18362304

Are you sure? I recently visited and they were just like.. N*gger this ch*nks that. Seemed like utter garbage to me. Yes, abrasive too full of bros and dumb jerks. But if it's true what you've said maybe I would revisit lol bc I'm morbidly curious

>>18362311
>Don't kill yourself
oh I've got no interest in doing that. I'm saying I might piss someone off enough that they think about seth riching my ass lol.

>intrigue intensifies
:D

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I understand jobs that have to do with computer science are frequently outsourced and are oversaturated, but I genuinely enjoy programming and I'm not interested in much else. With that in mind, is choosing to major in CS a good decision?

>>18362358

Well? Make a fake email address and put it here. I'd like to ask you a few questions lol

>>18362377
here's my /pol/ sockpuppet account. I guess, well there isn't really a way to confirm identity without IDs...

holy shit this thing is blowing up. we continue growing at this rate we're gonna have thousands of people at these protests. wew lad.

>>18362227
No, that's not me, I didn't write anything here today. But now I know I use a lot of exclamations points lol.

Realizing your flaws is the most important step

>>18362294
Well the rational thing to do is to break contact with her and move on since it seems like she is not into you romantically and it hurts you.

However you can use this accident as a way to get closer to her by playing her emotional strings. Since she's in a very vounerable and emotional state now she'll respond better to affection and other stimuli she finds comforting.

>>18360906
Yeah. Fuck them. They'll figure it out. If they give you shit about it where you can't dodge them, tell them you've been busy doing your shit.

I'm never going to be a pretty lady, am I? You guys did all of that to get my hopes up, to make me think that it could actually happen. I know it can't though. It's just not physically possible...

I want to die.

>>18362707

Come to spain I'll make you feel like the prettiest girl ever

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>>18362707
Being "pretty" is superficial, sister. I mean, it helps, but you can be ugly as sin and still win guys over if you have an amazing personality.

Maybe pretty isn't the approach you should be taking. A more cute and spunky attitude might change things around.

>>18362769
Not the same anon but I know I'm pretty. I just want to be gorgeous and (nearly) physically perfect.
I don't care what guys think. I know they'd date any cute girl next door type, in fact a lot of them prefer it. I'm entering a image/looks-based industry so it's important.

I would do anything to have you back.

>>18362707
welcome to the realization we've all been at for some time now that transgenderism is a disease. you've been lied to son.

lol, this is gonna go well if you keep that up.

>>18361009
That's not okay. In the comically unlikely event that you're reading this, get a new therapist.

>>18361933
You are only projecting your own inability to control yourself onto your partners. Being controlling in a relationship isn't about your partners at all.

>>18362707
>I want to die

Join the club

boy you are just not subtle at all are you? ffs

I became soft during intercourse

>>18362359
Everything is outsourced and oversaturated. Computer Science happens to be a little less saturated than other choices. Better yet, go Computer Engineering.

>>18361887
Dude just break up with her. If she is not worth making such an insignificant sacrifice for then leave her.

I secretly wish all women had penises (while retaining their feminine features) and were providers who generally strive to be 'alpha'.

And I wish one would marry me and allow me to be her cook and house servant.

Because I'm too dumb, uneducated, and timid for a job/career.

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>>18362992

why the fuck are there so many crazy people? where did you all come from? like wtf lol.

>>18362758

Aw, romantic spanish guys

>>18363013

no babe more like romantic russian immigrants living in spain

>>18363026

>romantic russian immigrants living in spain
Didn't know Russians were much into romance. I was under the impression it's about drinking and being tough af.

What's life like living as Russian immigrant in spain?

>>18363078

>drinking and being tough af

It is about that, but I'm already bored of drinking, and being overly tough isn't fun because no one wants to be around someone like that, not even other russian immigrants

I can be romantic af and not in a bad way, last 4 years have been very bad, I have decided to try and go get laid to make my days a bit better so now I'm getting those motors up and running again, it's also time to move someplace else, I'm too serious for this country

>>18362342
Am I the only one who finds the abrasiveness and racist jokes actually incredibly cringy? I get second hand embarrassment visiting /pol/ lol.

>>18361762
Or he made a mistake. We tend to jump to the whole "you're just his side bitch now" too fast.

We love to forget that our partners are other people with their own thought and minds. Problems and hardships. That even the most stable rock can be on shaky ground.

Sometimes we back off thinking it will be the best for both people, maybe wanting our partners to reach out and tell us not to go. It's not just women that like to feel needed, that like to feel like we bring something to the table as well.

Sure, if this is the case you could cave and feed his ego, tell him you have said here. Or as >>18361951 said, give him an ultimatum. Yeah, it's not a sound thing to do in a relationship but sometimes one has to stand up to the other in other to save it. Speak like two adults, find out what exactly is happening and why the contact continues.

Yeah, some people leave and keep in contact because they want a fall back. Others left in mistake and regret it, but are too prideful to say as such. Sometimes you have to be the adult and try to bring all this to light.

If he left you for another, then you have honestly nothing to lose by being hard and direct. If it was not in a good frame of mind, being stern may open him up and give him enough guidance to speak.

You may get another chance, as long as you work together and communicate with each other you may even come out with something stronger than before. If the former is true, then at least you get closure and can try to move on with the nagging feeling of "what if". Be direct, stand your ground and make yourself understood.

That's the only way this will work. If you continue to respond without being honest, you both may end up hurting each other more and that will turn into resentment.

>>18363102

Hmm, that's pretty cool. Were you in spain for all 4 years? Have any thoughts on where you might move next?

>>18363178

It is cringey. And stale too. I don't find them the least bit interesting, creative, or funny :\ not even liberal or feminist lol.

why do i even use dating sites/apps

i know no one is interested in me
i know i'm undateable
i know i will have no success

yet here i am

my deadbeat dad had kids with like 5 different women and here i am unable to catch the eye of even desperate single mothers

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I still really like him.

Cliché as fuck, right? I'm embarrassed by it. I knew him for such a short amount of time that I shouldn't have such strong feelings for him. I just can't get him out of my head. He moved away. He's gone. We've texted since he left, but mostly we have just sent memes back and forth...very cute shit if we were together. Not so great considering that we're not.

I'm debating on whether we should ever talk again. Not like he's seriously trying to do so anyways...but still. All the things he said and the way he kissed me are hard to ignore, and I feel like talking to him at all with just prolong the pain. But I desperately want to be in contact.

It took me a great, long time to find someone as perfect for me as he was. Being a female INTJ is tough shit and I'll probably be alone for some time. He'll always be the one who got away.

Pic related, swapping genders I guess.

yes, I just did the thing I was saying is a terrible way to argue. this is 4chan.

>>18363358
is the feel gone if I see what that pic is and then just close it with a "nope" reaction, or am i just starving it? do I care what the answer is? I'm not sure.

>>18363370
I did it cause it was funny.

>>18361824
You said that you've seen doctors that say you're healthy. This may be true on a physical level, but it seems like you're struggling with a mental illness. I've been there -- in cognitive therapy right now and finally made the leap to see a psychiatrist for my clinical depression. You have some similar symptoms, but it could be something different. Either way, I think you should look into talking to a mental health professional. Have you considered/tried that?

>>18363358
thank god i'm killing myself in 18 months

>>18363382
Let it happen, dude. You came into this thread to vent and feel, right? Thanks for replying to my stupid post. Knew that picture would hit others like it does me.

>>18363420
well it doesn't hit me in reference to the past though, it hits me in like an impending crashing and burning way.

see I like this canadian man.

>>18363436
>see I like this canadian man.

Unfortunately I don't know what you're trying to say here.

I,

Fuck you. Seriously. I mean, I know I'm not perfect but I knew you would do this to me and my dumb ass let you in any way. Thanks for reassuring my trust no one mindset; it's people like you that make me hate everyone and everything.

and don't you dare text me. Because I know you only do it when SHE'S not around and bored. I'm not a fucking last resort you dick for brains... I have feelings too, and you've crushed them.

Burn in hell you asswipe.

No love,

L

>>18363460
that's about it. I really like this canadian man, and that pic gives me feels about that canadian man in reference to a possibly impending crashing and burning.

I want her to write on her calender "date with anon" and think about me. I want to make her happy. idk whats gonna happen.

Having a male libido is a curse.

I just needed to write this out after you ghosted me or for whatever reason stop responding to me it, I don't care if you didn't want to see me anymore but at least tell me and not just disappear. I feel like after 3 months and multiple dates I deserve a reason. I won't hold it against you so anyway thanks for the memories.

>>18363547
you know, mine goes down when I'm single but then when I start liking a girl it hits me like a freight train.

I'm too sore to keep lifting the boners away at this point.

>>18363566
Mines is the opposite when I'm single. I feel like a creep, not to mention it's annoying as hell when I'm just trying to work. An ass should not have this much power over people.

im falling in love with the girl ive been dating for the last two months. Ive done a few stupid things to almost ruin everything and I know shes been fucking another guy but im so dumb and young and naïve that I think this will all perfectly work out and I look past all that shit.

I think she wants to just be fuck/cuddle buddies now and that's just not enough for me.

>>18363591
Can you share her story? How do you *know* she's fucking other guys?

My best friend and boyfriend are suicidal as fuck and have been for years. I've talked them down plenty of times but it's getting really annoying/draining lately. I feel like I'd be happier if they weren't always bitching about how their life is pointless. Uh, yeah, so is mine but you don't see me whining about it fucking constantly. I understand depression can't be totally controlled and I'm blessed not to have constant suicidal thoughts but if I did you can bet your ass I would be in therapy unlike you fucks. I'm not mad just at the end of my rope.

>>18363599
one week she became all shady and distant and she told me how she felt bad about it one night and it was due to finals and stuff. She lost her phone and had to use her MacBook to contact people via Imesssage. She needed me to message one of her close friends to see what was up while she did her makeup and the message window conveniently opened up to a conversation between her and some dude making plans at the same time telling me she was too tired/busy to hang that week for finals.

I kinda just bit my tongue for some reason, I don't know why. She went to new York for a week on a school trip and called me every night to talk and told me how she loved me and all this stuff. We got into a little fight about a week ago and spent a little time this weekend together. I just cant drop her for some reason, shes too great.

For two fucking years I sat by your side as you constantly talked about killing yourself, begged for me to try and physically abuse you, try and destroy my best friendship, become psychologically addicted to marijuana, get pissed at me for saying a therapist or some depression medications may help, cry and moan about me moving away after graduating that I'd find a better woman and that I'd break up with you.

2 months after I move and after all three fucking times you visiting me and having complete mental breakdowns every night you finally break up with me with no good god damn reasons. 2 years of hard work and trust turned into nothing.

I hate every god damn inch of you. and yet I can't stop thinking about you nor that maybe if I hadn't fucked up so many times that you'd still be with me.

My school ticketed me for parking in a lot I was allowed to park in.
Told me to put in an appeal and it would get sorted out, but I had to pay the fucking ticket first or else I'd get charged late fees for not paying, and it will get refunded when the appeal goes through.

It's been a fucking month, and they won't return my calls. I'm fucking livid.

>>18363661
shoot up the offices
no, really
you have no idea how much positive change you'll bring about

I'm sorry, but fat is NOT sexy. Fat is disgusting. Fat is tremendously, tremendously unattractive. Like the mere THOUGHT of seeing you naked kills any and all arousal I might have had. The reason I won't date you isn't because I'm not dating at all right now, it's because you make my dick shrivel up.

It's not glandular. It's not big bones. It's no self control whatsoever. You're a good friend. I have fun with you. But neither of us will change, so it'll never happen.

>>18363691

>it'll never happen.
stop hiding your lust for your fat friend lel

hipster faggot, don't try to play mind games with me. I'll goebbel your ass up lmao. you dick for brains.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXTpHNMdOZU

with that, I'm out.

>>18363708
>>18363704
these go together.

>>18363700
It's hidden so deep inside that it'd take a backhoe two years of nonstop digging to reach it.

I don't know why I only ever seem to attract larger women. I'm in decent shape. I'm not super tall, but I'm not a midget. I work out. Yet somehow the only ones who ever want to go out are... unappealing to the extreme.

You're going to go to sleep happy tonight after we "resolve" things, but I'm going to be up all night heavily considering opening up some old scars that I gave myself.

>>18363671
kek. It would be funny. Except they hide behind a human wall of underpaid student workers.

I tried to go into the parking office a week after I got the ticket to ask whats up, and the only people in there were the foreign student workers who are basically working for free because it's mandatory of their student visas to have a "job"

I asked who the head of the department was and they said they didn't know.
I asked who their immediate supervisor was and they said they didn't know.
And I honestly dont think they're lying lol, that's basically how the whole school is run. Nobody knows anything about anything.

What made me laugh was their description of how the appeals worked.
"Oh, uh it's like, a counsel of people, made up of like, uhhhh community leaders. They meet once every 3 weeks to discuss who gets appealed"

I was like, the fuck is this shit? Does the goddamn legion of doom convene in the basement of this building, sacrifice a chicken and whichever ticket doesn't get blood on it gets appealed? I like to imagine them all coming to appeal tickets in big black hooded cloaks lol.

>>18363721

how interesting. Maybe you look or smell like cake. Ever think of that? Stop looking like a fucking dessert then lol...

>>18363721
You probably arent as attractive as you think then. The biggest way to tell your own appearance is to see what kinds of people seem to think you're in their league.
If all you're getting are fatties, you're probably fat or fat looking yourself.

Or, maybe it's just your personality is so offputting that the only ones who would even bother with you are the desperate fatties who know they can't get any better anyway, so they might as well put up with your shit tude.

>>18363727
>the only people in there were the foreign student workers
trump train choo choo

>>18363743
Nah, they're the "good foreigners" Asians and a handful of Middle Easterners but from the countries Trump has business ties with so they're good Middle Easterners lel.

Some guy just told me the moon is in the wrong place, that it should be in the west. I've noticed the moon being in the wrong place before, but I just thought I was mistaken. Has anyone ever thought that the moon was out of position? Should this post be on /x/?

>>18363708

https://youtu.be/x8_pWDwmmm0

>>18363587
Shit, I thought I was the only one with that problem.

There is no excuse for an ass that big to look that good in tight slacks.

It genuinely discomforts me and gets really distracting. I don't even get chubs from it, but it always gets my attention.

I just don't understand why you keep me around when you clearly aren't set on commitment and want to sleep around for a while.

Do you see something in me?

>>18363802
dude same

i work retail and constantly get distracted

and then my bosses daughters come visit and there goes my entire work ethic. she somehow managed to have three daughters, all smoking hot, all in different ways


also im wondering if arranged marriages work, since ill clearly never be able to attraccct a woman

Dear Mom
I know I haven't done much this year but some of the highlights of my year were riding in the car past the forest preserves with that station when you would pick me up. You were drunk a lot this year and it made me a very jumpy person. I hope that you remember the good times with me and maybe visit that forest like we said we would do.
Dear him
I still miss you everyday. I'm sorry that I was such an idiot. I physically hurt when thinking of you and I just wish I could go back. I wish I could show you the affection you deserve. If you were still in my life you would probably just be annoyed at what I'm about to do.
Dear a
You are a great guy and i'm sorry that I have to leave you but I can't deal with living anymore
Dear h
Thanks for making me laugh every once in a while I know that everything is ironic to you but sometimes it made me feel less lonely, bye
Dear 5th grade health teacher
You were such a cunt holy shit

I am going to be real with you. It was amusing for you to call wearing a bandanna and a scarf tacky coming from someone wearing galaxy pants, a video game t shirt and a snapback. True I should just have thick skin and not let it bother me but still... You are a good friend of mine if you felt that you had to compromise that to impress a bunch of 16 year olds then you can fuck right off. You were the only reason I came back to this shitty group and now I am questioning if there is any real reason to stay. I just leave and do better things. Have fun getting smoothies with kids a decade younger than you.

I kissed my best friend/crush for the first time last night with the opening credits scene in Deadpool playing in the background. "Angel of the Morning" is a terrible song to make out to but it fits our style of humor so it was stupidly perfect.

Does anyone else just want nothing more than to go back to change things? Or at least to be in contact with that one person again? It's eating me up. How do I cope.

You're pathetic! I don't know why I was with you for 2 years. You broke up with me and it completely shattered me and I wanted you to come back but now 4 months later when you do I see how trapped I was with you. You don't even know why you broke up with me. It makes me so angry that I have to see your pitiful face. I makes me angry that you want to be friends but when we talk you just talk about yourself and how you have a new crush and all but when I mention someone I like you get hurt and offended like I'm supposed to still be in love with you. No Fuck off, I was at my lowest when I was with you. You made me feel like shitty and insecure just because I didn't look like the girls in porn you jack off to. Fuck you! I don't even think I want to be you're friend because you're a shitty ass person.

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>>18363868
I'm on my 6th year man. I would kill to have him again, even though we havent spoken in those 6 years, even though we were dumb little teenagers 6 years ago and he's probably nothing like how he was then now, as an adult.
I never got over him dumping me. I never loved anyone else since. I've been trying to prepare myself for the reality that I may never will again.
It's not going well. I don't think you can cope with this shit. You just keep living in misery for the sake of living, or an hero.

J,
I'm sorry I had to leave you, I didn't want it end that way, but you gave up contact with me, and I felt so distant from you. I wish it could have been better, but you're gone and it didn't seem like there was anything else I could have done. It's been my hardest decision, and I just hope it was the correct one.
A.

>>18361167
LOL, I'm sorry, who are you and why should we be jealous of you?

Ive been so down on life for so long that I dont even want to be happy anymore

a year ago i pushed my mom down one time after she got drunk and kept pushing me and tried to break my PC and harrassed and screamed and taunted me. i used to be an internet addict cause of the escape it provided and my anxiety went so far as to make me panic and push her away from me. i did it a bit too hard and in her drunk stupor she fell down. she immediately threatened to call the cops and called me an abuser and a monster and a freak. i still have nightmares of being in a courtroom being called an abuser by everyone around me. I want to kill myself so she feels pained by it until the end of her days. so every waking day is spent in agony over what she did to me and the rest of the family but i know deep down she probably hates me just as much and lies when she says shes sorry and that she loves me. I moved out a week later and sold all my stuff to financially hold me over til i got a job. im in a filthy flat with cheap booze and a broken fridge but at least i dont have to see her anymore. its been so long since ive been relaxed, had fun, been friends with someone, had a real relationship. i sometimes am happy to see my landlord even though he hates me because i dont feel so isolated.

I miss playing videogames.

I used to see you as a flower that was about to bloom by the moonlight, unfurling your petals to become the most beautiful thing for miles.

How wrong I was.

Now I see you as a weed. A spiky, spiny, twisted thing growing up above the septic tank sending your roots deeper into the muck for nourishment.

>>18363902
If you're who I think you are, you were already given a decision to make and "I don't know what's the right choice" doesn't cut it and I'm tired of being strung along.

Don't worry, I won't miss you or your clingy attachment to your jerk of an associate.

>>18363913
I am the worthy one. I am so god damn nice. I inspire. I am admired.

>>18363868
no. I gave her every single chance in the world for 6 years. I directly gave her my number because she kept getting other people to contact me every year. if she wants something from me now its only because something she wanted more for all those years fell apart. I dealt with it and I moved on without her help, without her ever telling me whatever was so important that she tried to start the conversation 3 times only to never tell me. that she cheated? I knew. I found out from the the people she fucked. people that were supposed to be friends. I have zero desire to revisit the past. as for changing anything else, that would alter where I am now in unpredictable ways and I have to have faith there's a reason I find myself in this predicament now otherwise there is no reason for anything.

>>18363791
this is essentially perfect for my mood right now.

>>18363913
you're talking to a guy that literally has dementia. just, its not worth it.
>>18363930
I'm going to keep telling you this, the shit you talk about is directly correlated to your dementia and is not real.

>>18363917
I still remember your tweet " If I ever develop schizophrenia, I swear I will shoot myself" when my world was falling apart. After two and a half years of helping and being there for you through your self harm issues and attempts at your life, it was revealing to learn that you never cared about me as much as I cared for you. The moment my demons started to show their teeth.... in fact I never let them even reach you. I separated myself while all you wanted to do was fight. It was all about you. I had to drop out of school, was hospitalized, and yet I am the asshole. It is amazing to me how you are able to rationalize that. Must be the same rational that led you to have a replacement boyfriend a day later and eventually caused you to cheat on him. I am glad I got the fuck out of there. It was like chess. We had a lovely opening, barely played a middle game, with no ending in sight. You were never my everything. All those I love you's were said to keep you alive. I had fallen in love with the person you could have become instead of who you actually were becoming. I had faith in you and gave you countless chances. Thanks for returning the favor.

i am A, J are you jaime

>>18361483
Try to look at yourself from other people's perspective, and change what you don't like. Also, there is a difference between being honest and being an ass, which i kinda presume you are doing.

>>18363937
you don't understand what dementia is, do you?

So not only are you an asshole, you're retarded as well.

>>18363958
Sorry, Anon. I'm not Jaime.

you're good ((not jaime)) I just hope I made the right choice and I hope that you did as well

>>18363975
it's a disorder where you can't reason properly, can't remember stuff, and have mood disorders.

Pretty fucking sick of feeling pretty fucking sick of everything. Not sure what I could do now but I'll keep going. I'll keep existing. Keep writing my thoughts down in these little brain dropping paragraphs. It does feel nice to take a shit on the keyboard. Fuck brevity. I'm going all out. This shit is anonymous. I don't give a fuck what people think. I won't even check this thread later. Rip in pip shitty comment.

this thing is so fucking over and I don't know why I keep trying

im a disphit stoner who drinks and smokes too much weed, ive fucked up too many times in this relationship and I understand why shes hanging with other guy friends of hers.

its a learning experience for sure but it surely comes with pain.

i hate myself so much.

Got rejected by super hot girl online, she seemed into me, sent nudes and shit
3 hours later she became slower to reply


It's total bs, why is this making me feel shitty?
I've NEVER felt so shitty from being rejected online

Not sad, just feel frustrated/pissed off

I am in love with someone I can never be with again. We talk. We were together. But we shouldnt have been. If anyone knew we even talked...

I cant stop loving her. I cant sleep. I just want to die

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I hate how I am when I first fall for a girl. I lose all normalcy. I can't do shit right, I can't think straight, my emotions are all over, I can't concentrate, I turn into alpha dick. single, fine. in the relationship, fine. that window when you really need to be the most collected and sorted so you can actually get a date? completely fucked.

I hate myself tonight.

Thinking on this a lot lately.

So it's not okay when someone else lies to me and conspire against me, but when you do it it's ok.

If I deserve everything that is happening to me, then you deserve everything that's about to happen to you.

I want to forget this girl but every time she posts something about her boyfriend it tears out a piece of my heart knowing that he is experiencing the perfect life I wanted with her. I can't stop following or block her as it would be suspicious but I don't know how I can forget her and move on when everytime I see her face (which is almost daily) I feel another twinge of love for her

>>18363780
I don't think that many people pay particular attention to where exactly the moon is. If you're getting paranoid then try to remember that there is literally no purpose in faking the moon.

>>18364033
I feel you man, I can be Chad fucking thunder cock if I wanted to most of the time but once anything is on the line I crumble and can't keep my thoughts together

>>18364053
>it would be suspicious
what? just unfollow her you idiot. who cares? look, just about no one in the world cares about what you do in your entire life, no one is going to care about you unfollowing some girl.

So yeah, I'm moving home. Never gonna work myself out of this debt I had to pit myself in because of people fucking with my head so badly it caused me to pretty much destroy my life. The worse part of it is it was the people I considered friends and family.

Find it funny that as soon as we were planning on rooming is when this shit started.

Either way you brought this on yourself by being a back stabbing manipulative piece of shit.

Oh yeah, I lied, your not a good person. You're just good at acting like one.

>>18364065
I can't, I'm still sort of friends with her and she's embedded into my little ring of friends also

>>18364060
>I can be Chad fucking thunder cock if I wanted to most of the time
I could but I can't cause I find the idea of casual sex stupid. if I told anyone I know even just a few of the stories of what I've turned down lol, they'd beat the shit out of me.

just that important transition period between single and in a relationship.... completely fucks me.

>>18364031
I just dont know if I can do this anymore. You know how much I love you, that I can never be with anyone else. And I know all the reasons we cant be together. They make perfect sense. But my heart wont change.

Im falling apart. Though youre in my life now, I fear my heart will forever long for you by my side. I know youre afraid. I am. too, maybe more so. But I am falling apart A. Im falling apart.

>>18364075
I bet she doesn't notice, and neither does anyone else. I bet that even if they do notice, it'll be months down the road and no one will care.

>>18364077
I don't like the idea of casual sex or even causal dating, I am to careful and live life by the two outcomes you either break up or get married and so I don't like the idea of dating, knowing you'll break up eventually.

>>18364075
You know you can unfollow someone without unfriending them right.
And they will never even know? All her shit will be off your wall, and she will never be the wiser.

Also, if you're using chrome, I highly suggest an add on called social fixer. It allows you to apply filters to your feed.
I've filtered out any post with the words "boyfriend" "girlfriend" "fiance", etc, because I'm a bitter fuck and don't wanna hear about anyone's love. You can filter her name too and never see any posts about her or that she's tagged in. And again, not a single person will know you did this except you.

Problem solved

(You can also just fucking turn off your computer and go outside for a change. That's a pretty easy fix)

>>18364091
My issue centers around Instagram and Snapchat, not Facebook. I don't believe either have any feature to do something similar

>>18364097
I'm not well versed in IG, but from what I've read they have the same system as fb. You can unfollow them and stop seeing their shit, but it doesn't block them, theylll still see your shit and be unaware you unfollowed them

As for snap, clearly just don't open any of her snaps. If the notification gets annoying for you, there is a setting where you can "clear conversations". From their screen, it'll just look like you opened their snap but didn't respond. But you'll have never seen shit.

And, just don't look at their story. Problem solved with just an ounce of will power. And if you don't have any of that, then suck it the fuck up and take a break from social media. I am willing to bet cold hard money that NOBODY will give a fuck or even notice you're gone.

>>18363622
send them to therapy, end of story. Next time they threaten to commit sudoku -- call the ambulance. If they're for real, medical professionals will take care of them; if they're bluffin -- they won't bluff any more. Save yourself some peace of mind. Been there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfNOdsvMke4

geez, pandora, what are you doin to me? lol what is this mood activated radio or something? christ I got a another crooner I've got to sing to.

time to go for another drive so I don't wake up the neighbors I suppose. if I still drank, or lacked in will, this would be a drinking night. I don't even know what this is. ugh

>>18364090
>I don't like the idea of dating, knowing you'll break up eventually.
exactly. I could break that value and do whatever but it would be squandering the worth of that value system for the future imo.

Holy fucking shit I hate foot fags they always fuck up everything with their disgusting fetish I just want pics of cartoon girls but then they fuck up the thread by spamming their stupid foot shit all over the place and now half of the fucking pictures of stockings and shit focus on the feet and it's making me mad REEEEEEEEEEE

>>18364114
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-7IHOXkiV8

no one but randoms on the road know I sing this shit. decently too. there's a letter I'd never send

I've realized that I have had no idea how to take control of life. I've spent so much of my life hiding, removing myself from reality. When there's something I want to accomplish or acquire I either give up because I see myself too inexperienced or just plain ignore it because I feel helpless.

I can't do this anymore.

>>18364123
I agree. Footfags are autistic.

im a muslim but i watch porn alot and admire usa for its porn they make and i love hijab porn lots am i guilty of anything ?

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>>18364123
>>18364156
Niggers

I have a problem with girls and talking via
social media like Facebook, Whats app, Tinder etc. Let me sketch a generalized hypothetical situation for you.
I am at a club/party/social gathering, talking to the opposite sex. We hit it off, maybe some kissing and stuff. I ask her number or she adds me on Facebook or whatever.
Now here comes the bad part. Next day I think, aw what the hell, why shouldn't I message her? I mean if she is in to me she is in to me right? Somewhere down I know this is a bad move because it's kinda too soon, but sometimes this works for some reason. The stupid thing is when this works and the girl responds positively I continue this line of thinking and carelessness, usually resulting in me asking her if she wants to go on a date way too soon.
This on it's self might not be such a big problem however I tend to do this even in situations where common sense might dictate it be smarter too wait. To give 2 examples, I did this to a friend of my sister and I also did this in the apartment block where I live which could mess with me being able to make good friends/neighbors here.
While I don't care that much for the rejection of individual woman I do think it's a problem that might stand in the way of creating normal relationships (friendly or otherwise) with the opposite sex and I do think it is a part of I should try to improve for my social life's sake.
To summarize: What are the social conventions of talking to girls who gave you there number on your phone (at parties or otherwise) and how can I stop my self from engaging in behavior that I know is bad but I do anyway namely being too forward and direct towards girls i am interested in.

>>18364077
I have this same problem. I used to have no problem with casual sex until someone hurt me. When I realized how bad I was making women feel I stopped having sex with people I knew I wasnt going to end up with and never got laid again. Its been nearly 15 years now... Change your attitude about casual sex before you end up like me.

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>>18364170
>edgy cutting scars
kek

>>18364231
Thanks for 'mirin

>>18364239
You know you're supposed to do your wrists right. lengthwise, not across.

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>>18360798
GIOYC threads are gay.

There, I said it. Phew. Feels good man.

>>18364170
You disgusting degenerate neck yourself

fucking christ kaleo who hurt you? I could barely knock that one out.

>>18364198
>What are the social conventions of talking to girls who gave you there number on your phone (at parties or otherwise) and how can I stop my self from engaging in behavior that I know is bad but I do anyway namely being too forward and direct towards girls i am interested in.
fucking christ I just want trad courtship to be in style again, I fucking can't do all these stupid ass "don't talk to her too soon, don't talk to her too late, don't be a man and be forward, girls if he talks to you too soon he's a creep, too long and he's fucking 5 other girls, act standoffish at all costs. I fucking... why? why is it like this? DOES ANYONE ENJOY THIS SHIT? no. I've never talked to one fucking person that enjoys all these retarded ass conventions.

the internet has ruined dating.

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>>18364269
>>18364253

Been close friends with this one 7-8/10 for two years now. Over the past year developed feelings for her, but I doubt that she feels the same way. I don't know what I want, but just know I would love to have more. On one hand I'd really like to just get over her, but I can't stop clinging on to the smallest threads of hope.
She's moving away in a bit, but she's going to be in the next state over and says she'd like to remain in regular contact, most of our talks are over voice/video calls anyways. Anyways, this past December she got mad out of nowhere and cut me out of her life for a bit, but after a bit she apologized and we started talking again. I had already written a "goodbye" letter, and I kind of wish that I had sent it so that I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in now. It's a really long and edgy letter, but will post.

>>18364378
Silence is louder than words.

I take it from your lack of response that the answer to my question is, "Yes, I want you out of my life" to which if that is the case, I will oblige and cut myself out of. This is not an apology. I am unaware of which of my actions, statements, or lack thereof transgressed you, but even if I was I doubt saying sorry would do much. I feel as if I know you reasonably well. You will not forget this event. From my perspective this appears to be irreversible and apologizing would merely be putting a bandage over a festering wound that developed without my noticing. What I can say is "Thank You".

Recently, I happened to read Dosteovsky's Crime and Punishment. You might recall me mentioning that I hated the novel in one of our conversations, but reason why I hated it goes much deeper than the off putting writing style. My hatred for the book was because I saw myself in the protagonist, Raskolnikov. Raskol means "split" in Russian and refers to Raskolnikov's split personality, something I myself was inflicted with. A cold, unfeeling utilitarian pitted against a needy, pathetic (in both meanings) fool. In all honesty I started to enjoy the company of others, not just yourself; although, if all truth is to be spilled I found my irrational side being allured by you specifically, to which my rational self warned was imbecilic and impossible, as any of my few qualities that one would find attractive are merely superficial. Anybody who finds themselves attracted in the slightest to a beast as myself is an idiot, and it's apparent that you're no idiot, so I have no idea why that part of me ever entertained such a preposterous idea.

>>18364358
I am not sure about that. It seem as society becomes more complex on a social level so will dating. Besides, I sort of understand where they are coming from. Nothing is as unattractive as a needy girl who lacks social nuance.

>>18364391
That was the past. I believe that this little squabble has actually had quite a meaningful impact on me, as the side that still believed, wanted, and felt has been silenced for a while, if not for the rest of my life. You've killed me, set me free of my chains. I have been given an opportunity and with my old self and desires suppressed I may now pursue my visions at full force (I will not call them dreams as that is too subjective, for some might call them nightmares), so thank you, femanon.

That aside, you might have noticed something else enclosed in this letter. I recall on several occasions you craving anon's fudge. Anon was difficult and would not sell me the recipe, but I did some digging around, asked people, tried out different recipes, reverse engineered his own, and I have come up with this. I was planning on making some and giving you the recipe along with some fudge for Secret Santa, but I assume that will no longer be happening. Regardless, I don't want my efforts and this recipe to go to waste so go ahead and have it.

>>18364393
>It seem as society becomes more complex on a social level so will dating
that's not necessarily a good thing. ever heard of John B. Calhoun and his population experiments? things getting more complicated socially could be argued to be a horrible thing.

>>18364506
More complex things have more ways to not work so I guess I agree with that sentiment. However the finer points of talking to a girl over electronic media are lost on me. That annoys me because face to face I have taught my self how to do it with reasonable success. I do feel that I loose out on a lot of possibilities because do know how to work this part of the equation.

I'm a newfag

I've never had a friend that would do me a favour in my entire life. I've never had someone I cold phone up and ask "keep you help me out with this" .

It's like never having known anybody.

>>18360798
I have fallen in love with my neighbour. She's a qt 3.14 Blond 30 something single women.
What do I do lads?

I hung out with a girl for a couple months, she was super cute. So cute and sweet that another friend of mine had a crush on her too.
One day she got tired of him and decided to go to his apartment and tell him she wasn't interested in him. (We all lived in the same apartment complex)
And it worked, more months after that he never spoke a word and seemed to be down after it all.

But.

Something in my mind completely turns me on when I imagine her going to his place, fucking his brains out, and telling him to keep quiet about her forever.

My entire life I thought I was asexual, but recently I started thinking sexual thoughts seriously for the first time about my coworker. I want to touch his penis and have him guide me on how to jerk him off right, since I'm clueless.

I play up the cute innocent girl act, and he has fun ruining things for me by making it sexual, so I'd love to have him feel like he's contaminating me a bit

Ok, contaminating isn't the right word I was looking for. Uhhh corrupt maybe?

I've never dealt with these kinds of feelings before, how do you deal with them? I think about it daily, I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about it

>>18361465
If you don't wanna live for yourself live for your parents.

>>18364079
Then you better get used to this feeling, C.

I'm not changing anything.

It's my first sorta relationship and I keep fucking up. She called me out on some stuff and I was all ears and agreed with her but she thinks that maybe we should stop hanging out as much,. Shes starting to notice things about me that annoy her and it's me just trying to work on them and manage this relationship so it's a learning process. Trying to work on my quirks.

I know there's plenty more fish out there and I'm still young being 21 but it hurts to fuck up and try and salvage this when it may not even work.

I know she wants to keep me around but one last chance to really make things right is all I ask

Margaret,

How does it feel being a spoil cunt? The only thing you have to do is give your opinion on things and shake your titties and you get free shit all the time. When you were looks fade hopefully you'll reveal who you actually are to the rest of this world. You're helping the wrong people, you dumb whore.

You can't change what wasn't broken. Breaking someone and putting them back together doesn't count as help.

>>18364815
I used to think I was asexual too. I do have a low libido, but at this point I'm sure it was a mental thing. Don't consider it corrupting or contaminating. There's nothing wrong with having sex. It's fun, it feels good, it's intimate, etc. If you think you're doing something bad it'll ruin the experience. Okay?

As to how to deal with that, maybe masturbate?

>>18365251
And who even names their kid Margaret anymore

>>18363326
/pol/ doesn't care about what your feelings are or what it is you think about it, roastie.

I love to squeeze the fuck out of my cat, put him in headlock, nuzzle his neck, pull his Tufts, give him aggressive cheek kisses, and he doesn't seem to mind because he always rubs up against me and purrs when I squish him tightly like that. He thinks he's a dog.

Recently met cute girl(not really recent, was last November), had sex with her twice before she asked me out, denied her because of distance, but now I want to get with her.

>>18365257
Yeah, that makes sense. I think it is partly a mental thing, alongside my lack of sexual drive or attraction whatsoever. Thinking about it, I could just be curious. Like two decades without any sexual contact, living in such a sexualized society, I shouldn't be surprised that I'm curious
I'll definitely try to avoid thinking of it as contamination or corruption though, and hopefully my issues with germs won't interfere with that!

Even with my recent sexual thoughts I can't successfully do stuff like masturbate. I try but nothing happens. There's no way to cope!

A while ago you suddenly distanced yourself from me. That hurt but i got over it, maybe i wasnt the right guy. What i cant understand though is why you're sending me those "I miss you" or "I wish we talked like before" messages from time to time, shit drives me nuts. I get it that we have classes together and we discuss class related stuff over messenger every now and again, but the other messages are fucking me up real bad.

Whats even more annoying is that i cant talk to you face to face, you just sit there being silent.

Its like im trapped in this 'mind game' bullshit of yours and i hate it.

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>browsing the internet
>a facebook message arrives
>"hi"
>from a girl who lives across the country and has absolutely nothing in common with me
>normal looking profile, nothing fishy

>"hello" i send back to her
>the message is still unread
>she hasn't been online since
>it's been like a week

did she died? what is this? who is this? why me? i'm confused.

(it's not actually facebook, it's russian facebook -- VK)

I'm a senior in HS, and drama class is honestly the only thing at this point that makes me enjoy school, but some faggots wasted the entire period filming shit for their youtube channel and making everyone else in the class be extras and now I'm pissed

>>18365541
Drama kids are the most insufferable idiots

You seem cool though

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>watching Jordan Peterson's lectures.
>at one point he talks about imaging oneself as a nazi camp guard in order to understand one's capacity for malevolence.
>mfw I wasn't disturbed by the mental image at all when I tried that through experiment, and in fact found myself enjoying it.

I guess that I'm a monster.
I'd be happy to remove foreigners from my homeland violently.

I got some paint!

I need constant male validation even if I have a boyfriend and it makes me feel shitty.

>>18365616
eyy bby u fine
wan som fuk?

>>18365515

Keep your cool and get over it like you have been doing. She's just trying to mess with you. Fuck those roasties. Stay strong bro

>>18365637
>>18365637
That's the problem I keep wanting to fuck every guy from my workplace. I get mad when they ignore me, so at this point ive just come to term with the fact that I'm an attention whore

>>18362803

prove it lol

Fucking hell, it's frustrating to find another bitch again because girls don't forgive after you fuck up the first date while they do fuck all and put no effort whatsoever in dates.

>>18365691
What you want is a ho not a woman.

>>18365691
you're dating the wrong women. though it's been at least 5 years since I've been on a date where the woman puts effort into it so I am too.

>>18360798
I claim I keep my virginity intact for personal moral reasons. Most people assume it's religious.
The truth is I see myself as a femdom and the idea of being penetrated is a turn off. I don't want a husband, I want a needy pet to tease and play with all day. I'm so deeply sexually fucked up at this point and it's such a polar opposite compared to how plain I am IRL, it's better for me to stick to dying a celibate virgin.

i want to give up so bad but i can't
i know im fucking ugly but still

>>18365711
stop watching porn. stop thinking about it. also, kind of refine your tastes to where like your teasing all day thing, you refine that and distill it to where instead of all day (not realistic) it's over a couple of hours and the goal isn't just teasing but getting real, measurable results, like the intensity of his orgasm or how much he fills you up. as for the penetration thing, I can't really get into that head space but maybe start by tying penetration into your fetishes? you could tease all day but if you really wanted to tease you'd fuck your guy until just before he's about to cum and then just like go make some food for yourself or something. lol did that to a tied up gf once and she absolutely lost her shit.

t. male dom that realized it needed to be turned way down for any kind of normal relationship to be possible.

>>18363185
Dude if I ever met you I would hug you so hard right now. Thank you for being able to put this up here. It's actually made me cry with how, just, good it is.
I'm about 99.99% sure it's not someone else, because I know what he's like, and he's too shy to be with someone else while I'm there. I do honestly believe it was made in error, so I'm going to give it at least a week from our separation date before trying to figure out if he wants to try again. It may take more time, but fucking god if I am not willing to keep trying. He's worth it to me. I'll figure out what he wants to do, and we'll take it from there.
Thank you so much mate, honestly

Why is everyone I befriend or fall in love with turns out to be fucking mentally ill? Am I cursed or do I just attract people through metaphysical mumbo jumbo?
What the fuck is going on? I'm tired of trash like them!

A friend of mine drunkenly made out with an ex of his at a party. Thing is, he's dating someone else and my whole friends group speaks so highly of her.

Thing is, everybody agreed not to tell her about it. Am I a faggot for thinking this is really fucked up? I would warn the poor girl but I don't know her personally.

I know it's not my business to be involved in this shit but I'm disappointed in all of my friends.

tl;Dr am I an no fun allowed goody two shoes fag or am I right to be bothered?

>>18365771
you're right, your friends are assholes, your drunken friend is an idiot that shouldn't drink.

>>18365771
It's none of your business.

>>18365771
Your friends are dishonorable bastards but it isn't your business.

>>18365779
>>18365784
>>18365788
I know I shouldn't tell the girl but should I at least call out my friends about this being wrong? At least the drunken kissing friend in question?

Or do I just pretend it never happened and watch my back in case they decide not to tell me if my own SO did something like that

>>18365771
You probably are a faggot but you are right that it is fucked up

>>18365794
Depends whether or not you're comfortable with potentially losing them as friends over this or not

>>18365803
Most of them I wouldn't mind but there are a couple close friends that I am bothered by them agreeing not to tell

>>18365741
>lol did that to a tied up gf once and she absolutely lost her shit.
also, dunno what the female version of this would be but I left a hitachi on high just out of her reach, but close enough that it would just like tickle her while I was out of the room lol. just long enough to make a ham and cheese and eat half. then after listening to her having a minor fit, I came back and she came hard.

I wish she wasn't exactly one year older than me, she is such a funny and adorable girl that I actually began to get straighten up in every aspect in my life, because I had her in front my of my eyes all the time.

I know it's wrong to put a woman on a pedestal but she seemed like the light at the end of a very dark and cold tunnel.

I think I have lived long enough to know that by know if I could achieve I'd already have, it's time to let go, and I'm happy about letting go, such a load of my shoulders to let every fucken thing go.

>>18365764

lol chances are you are mentally ill as well and they can smell it

>>18365843

one year older is nothing, anon.

>>18365843
>she seemed like the light at the end of a very dark and cold tunnel.
:/

I'm tired. So very tired. The kind you can't just sleep away.

Too many people depend on me. Too many seem to enjoy having me around. Yet it all feels empty.

The only one I felt for, I pushed away. I have always been unstable. Even when I smiled, it was just a laugh for help. You were the only one that saw past that. Or maybe the only one I allowed to see that. And now you are gone.

A part of me feels stronger, I had to break myself down to see what I could fix. I guess I did. I do feel happy now, but a part of me is exhausted by it. I just want to sleep. So much.

I don't want to be anymore. I have dreams and goals, but I'm not sure if they are even mine. I'm not sure if I even care anymore, but I keep pushing on. I keep trying. I want to quit. I want this to end, but I don't know what stops me. Am I just a coward? Or am I strong for walking up every day and not doing it?

Fuck if I know and God, I wish I knew.

>>18365854
Where i'm from, it's a death sentence.

everything is about waiting right now and it's not helping in the state I'm in. I need some shit to distract me other than crooning in the car or working out.

you what I think it is? I go for really long periods of subduing a lot of my emotions that I don't see as beneficial to progress. getting angry, sad, overly happy, none of that benefited my business so it all had to go. none of that benefited improving my body so it had to go, worked out once in anger and did some damage to a bicep with too much weight. so I go for these long periods of busting ass, putting a toll on myself to progress toward goals, and then liking a girl comes along. you can't control that emotion, and I've been in a low emotion state, so I lose my shit cause I can't handle that massive emotion load that quick.

maybe? idfk. it's going to be back to the same old soon I'm sure so what's it matter.

>>18365879
>it's a death sentence.
and as fucked up as I am right now at least I don't live wherever the hell you live.

>>18365672
Dumb nigger slut.

>>18365879

That's awful and restrictive. Time to move man. Your options are cut too short, m8.

L,

I can't stop loving you.
It's been years, and even after all of these we saw each others again in this country.
All these signs and coincidence. You saw them as well didn't you ?
They married right in front of us, you saw the bear, you saw the movie screen and the sacred message I got.
I saw your eyes and hair as beautiful as ever. And your smile.
It was an eternity since this sealed heart of mine felt your light again.

My Black armor shattered once again at the brightness of the illusory life I want to live with you, feeling your warmth and watching your smile.

Why should I live in the Darkness and never enjoy love by your side...
We both believe in Destiny: Weren't these signs ?

I guess I'm as pathetic as ever.
And these signs, what do they mean ?
What should I do ?

My soul will never rest without you by my side; But seeing you don't need me nor want me makes me leave yours alone, shining by itself like the perfect person you are.

I love you and I'm sorry for not being the one you want. I will never be complete, but I hope you'll, as you deserve everlasting happiness.

R.

>>18365853
I am but I am undiagnosed, I suspect that I might have a mild case of bipolar disorder like my mother. One day I feel like a saint and everything is fucking awesome the next thing I feel like scum and just loathe/hate everyone I know. Sometimes I blame the others for ruining my mind. Maybe I am always been sick in the head.
I just need to sorround myself with healthy people in my life so I can condition myself into it and not have to worry about drama.

>>18365923
there are no signs mate. christ you're worse off than me.

well that makes me feel better. time to go to an interview and get some food.

>>18365750
>>18365750
I am glad that I have been able to help.
Let's just say I speak from experience. So my views may be skewed by a bit, but glad nonetheless.

For now, rest your own mind. It liked to hurt you more when things like this happen. Try to look at things from both ends and take some time to see what you want out of this as well. Lay everything on the table and see what comes of it. In the end, everything is about satisfying our own selfishness. If two people's selfishness coincide then both can and will likely be happy. With a bit of time and work of course.

Remember, be direct, and to the point. Speak freely, and fight as if you have nothing to lose. But, be mindful and give him the same luxury.

I wish you luck anon. I really do. Nothing saddens me more than people who make mistakes and let them be. There is much to learn from our faults. Everyone has them, we all commit them. Whether one learns from them or not, or even has an open enough mind to see the wealth of knowledge available, that is what marks a person of value. Well for me in any case.

Best of anon, universe guide you.

I have lost most of my need for social interactions.
I just post on forums to discuss current events, call my family once a week and go to some chatrooms occasionally.
I mainly game and I deleted most of my old friends.

I dislike relationships and all the needless drama,I cant deal with emotions either and Im an extremely rational person, who overanalyzes and overthinks things.
i just doesnt seem worth the effort to me. I think Im happier this way, although nobody seems to understand that this is by choice.

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I feel like hurting myself again. After almost 5 years. I'm scared.

I think I'm broken or something. Every time I fall in love, I get really strong depressions and I feel like hurting myself. They're way stronger than the normal depressions I get. I'm really scared I'll relapse into self harm again. In HS I used to cut myself every time I was in love, but my friends eventually found out and I almost resorted to suicide. But I learned to deal with regular depressions and usually can stop myself when I have them, but these are way worse, I don't know if I can deal with this. I stayed away from dating and shit for 5 years because I knew what happens to me and I can't control myself, but this time I was careless and this girl was a friend and we were just hanging out and over time I kinda fell for her. I don't think she's into me romantically, I don't know though, I know I don't think straight in this state. I know there's like 2 other guys hitting on her though, which makes me feel even worse. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

The worst thing is I KNOW I shouldn't hurt myself and how dumb and pointless it is. I remember how dumb I felt last time I came out of this. But it doesn't help the way I feel now. I can't fucking stop this urge to hurt myself. I'm scared. I really want to feel pain, I feel like I deserve it for being broken.

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I have been in a relationship with the same woman for 7 years. I love her to death but that doesn't stop me from wanting to fuck younger attractive women.

I have been faithful to her since we been together but I feel the walls are closing in and I'm going to have sex with someone else soon. I have been getting in great shape and preparing for this since last year.

I don't know if I'm going to go through with it, but options and other opportunities have been popping up. I'm so close to just pulling the trigger and do something I just might ultimately regret.

>>18365992
>>18365992
You don't want the pain. You know it's stupid and harmful.
The reason you hurt yourself? Because you understand physical pain. You can see the cuts and scratches, you know why you hurt. It's easier to deal with than the pit of depression. So you make yourself hurt. Trust me, I been there. Sometimes I still do it. Emotional pain is hard and takes a lot to understand, even our own.

There could be many reasons why it happens. Or why it triggers your depression. Love is confusing and it's actually pretty scary.

So it could be that internally you are trying to associate pain with love. You are scared and trying to protect yourself.

All I can say aside from get help, it take it so and that time to see if you actually feel for said person. What I can offer for help here is slow down. You are scared right now, try to separate yourself from your emotions. Like try to step outside yourself, look at your situation and emotions as of you were a 3rd person game. Logically analyze yourself see why you feel this way, and you hurt yourself.

Give it try anon.

>>18365990
Come home iron. We miss you.

That's really beautifu;l

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>>18360798
>23 yr old guy
>living in California
>homeless
>staying at gf's place until I find something else
>can't bring myself to get a job or even go buy a vehicle/find an apartment/room due to ocd but also slight lack of proper funds
>have gr8 opportunities in front of me
>gf wants to travel do fun things
>i just sit here whining, depressed, sad, constantly down
>i need to change my life
>i am going to be 24 in 5 months..
>oh fuck
>thats half way to 48...
what the fuck do i do. i need to get my shit together b4 my gf gives up on me. i want to give her a happy life and i want to be happy myself.

have listened to joe rogan and every positive video on youtube but cannot seem to take any type of initiative. i just freeze up, get overwhelmed and cry.. i always want to just die. why cant i b normal.

>>18365926

>I just need to sorround myself with healthy people in my life so I can condition myself into it and not have to worry about drama.
Yeah, this pretty much. Find yourself some stable, cool people to chill with. I have BPD so I relate. GL anon

I hate falling in love and the whole emotional rollercoaster that comes along with it.

Met an amazingly beautiful girl at a party this weekend who also turned out to be really fun and cute to chat to and the next thing I know she's sleeping over at my place. We didn't fuck though because my buddy was also sleeping in the same room but we did make out alot the next day too and she stayed for a few hours the day after, and we kissed goodbye.

Now we're texting, but I'm always the one to initiate it. She did ask me if I wanted to go to the gym with her on sunday though but I still overanalyze the shit out of everything and cant get her out of my head now. I really hope she's just very shy or something because I cant stand going through process of getting heartbroken again. Just recovered from a similar situation few months ago and this period has been amazing. I just didnt care for shit about girls and just slept around with them for fun, but of course some dumb bitch has to show up and make me fall for her.

Falling in love is the worst feeling there is.

>>18366011

oh that's sad anon. Break up with her if you can't suppress the urge to fuck other women. Or convince her to get into a 3 way. Don't do something despicable like cheat. It's greedy, dirty, and a crime

I have a a few friends in school and there is this one guy who is really good looking, I kinda like him. Always super nice to him, nicer than to anyone else so my friends are already suspecting that I might be into him.
Been asked several times if I'm gay but never got around to telling anyone.

What should I do?
I want to wait till me and my friends meet the next time so I can come out but I don't want to destroy our friendship

Would it be crappy of me to flirt with a dude with a girlfriend? He's real flirty with me anyway

I don't wanna date him or anything, maybe just a blowjob once

>>18365879
So clearly...you're 17.
REEEEEEE

I suspect the woman i'm in love with to be in love with one of my closest friends. She makes me want to kill myself a lot less, without her i would feel even more alone, probably to the point where i would rather blow my brains out. She helped me see that self-love is the best love, but is never there when i need someone to help me see the beauty in life, because i know there is beauty, but sometimes i need to be reminded. She makes me enjoy life when i'm around her, she does genuinely love me, but not how i love her. She would never love me that way. Now i feel like i'm back at square one, praying i get a chance to blow my brains out.

I met my ex on OKC and we broke up almost a year ago now. It was my only long term relationship and I fucked up in all the usual ways. I've spent a long time in the depression phase, which these days I feel like I'm at least trying to bring myself out of it. Now I'm trying to come back to OKC but I feel like the site is totally poisoned to me. I keep overthinking everything, giving up, disabling my account only to come back and clear my profile out and essentially start again. Two years ago this was just something fun that I didn't know what to expect from, now it's a clusterfuck of me constantly being unable to express myself using fucking text and answers to awfully worded questions. I should probably just stop and find some other way to meet people.

Jo,
Every day we are apart pains me. I miss you, I miss our laughter, I miss our talks, the way you read my mind.

You couldn't understand why things didn't feel right between us, despite the passion....the obvious love we share.
It wasn't him.
No matter how much of my heart I gave to you, ....I could never feel confident with you, not truly. Ugly jealousy ate at me whenever I saw you look at another woman. You destroyed the little confidence I'd built before accepting me, and no amount of showered compliments after we dated could fix that.
The problem lies with me. I.... I need to rebuild myself, I need to be worthy of myself before I'm worthy of you.
But I am afraid, afraid that if you stray too far, you will grow mean. I could see it in your eyes in the end....I could feel it in your touch. There was a hardness to you....I feared you a little. I fear you now.

But I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss you Jo. You tug at my heart every day, and it hurts so much.
I miss you, and I love you.
Always
C

>>18366332
I met my boyfriend on okc, ....it was not expexted. I'd gotten on there for fun.
But....I'd found a hard time answering questions. Instead, I made my own dialog, made it fun, and I could help you, if you'd like.

>>18361921
Now you keep going.
I loved a boy....I saw everything in him, and loved everything in him, and knew the man he could be. I pushed him to leave his shell, to grow, to better himself. Above all my love, and want for him, I wanted him to become who I knew he was inside, and afraid of being.

He lashed out at me in yhe beginning. Made me feel small, and unworthy. He claimed it was because of how he felt inside but I couldn't understand.
As he grew, I fell more for him, but I was broken inside. ....and he lost me for what he'd done before we'd even had a chance.
I don't know how to come back from that, and I wish I did. Because I miss him, and what we were, so much.

But even after all of that....I just want to see him go on, and be good, and happy. I don't want this to tear him down.

Keep growing, keep being strong.

>>18362032
Please don't go

>>18365885
I mean i never fucked any of them.
I just fantasize about it and lead them on.
Does that make a slut or just an attention whore?

I keep having dreams of going back in time.

You guys keep referencing time travel in the game.

What, exactly, are you trying to tell me here?

>>18366108
falling in love is amazing, I just wish I didn't go through a retard phase every time that fucks me over. randomly smiling for no reason cause you think of her, just feeling good in general, you can lift more, you feel healthier, fuck I mean even food tastes better. I hate being single. I hate the grind, I hate the feeling of being half dead, I can't stand casual relationships cause all I can think is "I don't actually care about you, and this hurts both of us". shit even rejection isn't that bad, at least not as bad as feeling like you're losing your mind and all the work you've put into yourself means shit because love turns your mind into an epileptic cat flipping the fuck out.

also, a letter for my local peeps,

put the phone down, foot on the gas, no you don't need to stop in the middle of the freeway to look at the cop that pulled over the semi, FUCKING GO.

also, you're all way too interested in me singing. voice coach person, that's very flattering but no one knows I do this, everyone look away lol.

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R,

I love you. I know we've been a thing for a little under a month, and even though it is long distance, I love you. Talking to you makes my day better and I don't know what I would be doing without you.

A,

We were best friends for over 7 years, then we stopped talking, now we are friends again. I'm glad I can talk to you daily, but I know that you don't see me as your best friend anymore. I can see the way you hang out with those assholes that literally nobody but you like (Seriously, I hate them, your parents do & siblings do, as do my parents). It's fine I guess.

I just wish things could go back to how they used to be

Myself,

This year has been interesting for us, hasn't it been? I think if i somehow told you in January that in 5 months we would be talking to A and be with R, you'd laugh in my face. Things have surely taken an unexpected turn.

Let's see how this chapter of our life turns out.

>>18366424
This hurts to read.
A lot. It sounds like something she would say. But, I know she would never on a site like this.

I know what I did, the things we lost because of my immaturity. I still have much left to do, growing to do as well. I broke her as well, pushed her too far and now that my head is clear I can see my actions and words and the weight they carried. I broke her, I know I did.

Yeah, i see the things that I have to do to move my life forward, but what I wouldn't give for her to tell me something like this directly. To honest with me. I would not push back, but embrace and try to help her as she did me.

Even if it's for my own good, my miss her and would give the world up to have a moment to talk things out.

But, I have tried reaching out and I receive to real response.

In the end she may be hurting me more than she even knows by not being honest with me.

It's a painful thing and I wish it would just end, one way or another.

I know we could work on things if we just talked and saw eye to eye. But if she wants to go, I can't stop her. I can only wish her well. I miss the fuck out of you.

>>18366651
I doubt he'd ever see my letter above to him. He only goes on Fit.

I'm crying typing this, because I want your words to be his....I read it like it was from him, and it hurt, and helped a lot.

We both agreed we needed space, to heal, to move on....and maybe someday we'd be able to get past everything that happened, and I believe we will. I really do. I don't think our story has ended.

But he is stronger than me, and won't talk to me, even though I broke the silence, and tried to talk. Tried to be normal, because I wanted to know if he was OK. And because I'm selfish and miss him.

I wish he'd talk to me. I wish we could have moments to recharge, to pretend like nothing else exists and just be together for a bit, even if we can't make everything else work, I just miss the nearness. Our souls could touch even if we didn't.

I hope that you heal, I wish I could hug you and make your pain go away. I don't want anyone to hurt like this.

op es feg.

>>18366672
Reading this gave me a lump in the throat.
>Our souls could touch even if we didn't.
This is exactly how I feel about her, and like you I'm a selfish man that would want nothing more but to spend an afternoon or something with her. With her even something small like coffee and a talk felt great. I miss it, and her so much.

>I hope that you heal, I wish I could hug you and make your pain go away. I don't want anyone to hurt like this.

I am trying. It's confusing and this pain is fucking sharp. There are days that I would want nothing more than a bullet to the head to stop it, but I know she would hurt, so I trudge on and I will continue to trudge. I will continue to offer my help to her, continue to stand by, she did the same for me, I can only return it what she gave not out of obligation, but love.

I wish the same for you anon. That your story doesn't end, that you get the next chapter to continue as you wish it.

I admit I have been slacking so hard with us. I am so glad you called me out last night and we talked, it's never my intention to disrespect you and take you for granted like that. It was dumb of me to write off your request and these slip ups keep me up all night. Hearing you say you want to hang out a bit less hurts so much.

I just want one more shot to make it all finally right. My quirks are a plenty but having someone like you by my side to work through them and keep me in check is all I ask. Youve done enough as it is and it's time for me to get my shit together,. I just want to you to be there with me.

These little quarrels and dissagreements are meant to be worked through and will only make both of us better,. I think it would be foolish for us to put everything on halt like that

>>18366709
Thank you.

You've no idea how much this helped me.

There's honestly so much I want to ask, so I could understand his side better.
When I talk about the past, he gets angry, and wants me to just get over it, but I don't know how, and god's know I've tried. To understand his mind, and to be able to talk like this, would help so much.

So thank you, for giving me a little of that.

I'd offer to leave a way to talk, if you wanted, if it'd help, but I'm not sure that's ok on here.

But this....this was more than I expected.
Thank you. *hug*

I wish you were my Jo, and that this was just the most random miracle ever. Lol But I'll settle for a helpful coincidence. :-)

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I've never known what it is like to have more than 1 friend at a time. The older I get the least likely it feels I will ever know what a group of friends is like. Currently I don't even have 1 friend in the past 5 years I've only made 1 enemy.

I'm actually angry you talked that way to me. Yes I'm being an oversensitive bitch. But I'm pissed off. There are other ways to say things than to say what you said. Fuck you.

>>18365670
Thanks man, i appreciate it. Will get used to the feeling in the end

>>18365771
If you were cheated on would you like to know?

>>18365771
>>18365784
if it was more than just a drunken make out, the GF should be told. It's the right thing to do.

But because of the circumstances... alcohol really fucks with peoples perceptions. I woud have a talk with your friend, tell him how completely shitty it is of him to do what he did and tell him to remember what is important. Talk to him about owning up to his actions.

>>18366754
Glad to hear you out. Sometimes I wish I could have told her that in the past. But, that's what shows we're alive that we fuck up and can grow from it.

I had to let of my ego in other to see the truth in her words. I could have been petty and taken offense at an attack to the core of my being, but no, I listened.

I would take that way to talk if it were possible at least to have someone to talk to. These situations are hard, like fighting a dragon with a stick. Sometimes we need that person to toss us a blade and few allies never hurts.

I could use a hug and thanks for the help.

Yeah it's hard, but if you see value in a person you have keep trying. It's a hard fight and I wish you luck and fortitude.

4chan of all places. Hah. Thank you so much. It's been a while since I had something to smile about.

Man my students are stupid. But I love them anyway.

>>18360798
My ex used to cry after I called her out on being a liar and a whore, and she's been trying to make me feel guilty about her crimes ever since. I want to cut her tongue out so she can never speak to me again.

>>18366892
how about you just cut contact instead? like why still talk to her?

>>18360798
i let my dog lick my dick till i came when i was around 11

I am not doing well. I pretend I am to cover the fact that I am not getting any better. It wasn't just the end of the relationship that broke me. It was ending the life of the person I was, and where I fit in the world. I have since had to find a new life, new hang out spots, new people. New town, new clothes. New friends. A new 'less than' me. I miss the old me, but I am not her anymore. I miss knowing who I was and having a purpose. I miss feeling valued. I feel expendible and disposable. I don't think there is a coming back from it. I tried. Now I just wander around, clinging to anything that makes me feel slightly significant. I know that I am not.

>>18366900
I did.
But I guess I'm still angry. I see people like her everywhere, and they remind me so much of her that they make me think that they are, in some way, actually her. I want to eviscerate all of them until only honesty remains.

I used to be a gentle person.

>>18366900
>>18366910
The worst part is that I had finally gotten over all of it, I had forgiven her, and then she decided to show up and fuck with me for her own amusement all over again. I have to repeat the same process AGAIN and there's no good reason for it. She has everything she's ever wanted so why is she still doing this? Because she's a fucking bitch. I wasn't perfect either but I admitted to it and I fucking groveled for years yet she refused to even think of me as a real person.
.
I don't want to be angry, and I don't want to be hurtful. Sometimes those emotions come out so I have to say fucked up stuff like "eviscerating everyone" just to properly purge them. I want to be alone, and content, and believe it or not I actually want for her to be happy too, but I really, really want her to stop. And she thinks the fact that I won't make her is somehow "funny" but it isn't because it doesn't make the world better, it doesn't make me better, and it doesn't fucking make her better, so I don't understand it. I wish something would happen that would change it all.

I knew you weren't asexual. I knew it was a mental block, it was fucking obvious. I told you we could ask a professional about it but you didn't want to.
Now you realize I was right.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR FUUUUCK I wanna slam my head against the wall until I pass out.

>>18366821
Then take it. I'm always happy to talk, and we can follow from there.

And yeah, 4chan of all places, lol I didn't expect that. I just hurt, and needed a place to vent, and saw your post, and it tugged at me.
I'm glad we could talk.
So, try this, if you'd like. If not, I wish you well Anon.

Amberlightrunner23
At gmail of the dot coms ;-)

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Today I feel pretty depressed. I really like to do my own thing, focus on my stuff, but I feel like I get shoved with things and responsibility constantly. But really the overarching problem here is my anxiety. I don't want the responsibility because it makes me anxious. I want to enjoy my summer vacation before i have to go back to college and experience a whole myriad of new anxieties almost daily. Then I'll come back home and wonder why I never had friends. Everyday feels like I just barely made it through, and every week feels like I barely made it through, every year I think "Wow, how did I get through that without breaking?". I wonder how long I can keep that up before I really break.

The worst of it all, is my inability to really express myself. I keep everything to myself, and am terrified of really talking about myself. Even when I'm having problems, I keep it to myself. I wish I could be emotionally honest while not appearing like I want attention, or maybe it just seems that way to me.

I hate myself.
I am good at nothing.
I am unattractive and weird.
I have no job and can't find one.
Girls constantly ghost me
I live with my parents who hate each other.
I am constantly depressed and I kinda want to die

>>18366089
>>18366972
try helpx or workaway?

idk im in the same situation as both.

>>18366950

Sorry. Do I even have the right to be frustrated?

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I feel like I'm ruining my relationship with my boyfriend and he isn't caring about me as much anymore. He's basically my reason for being alive right now and I'm supposed to be moving to his house in the summer (July, maybe). He hasn't really shown much interest in it and doesn't seem as excited as I am to move there. Obviously we are in a LDR and I find it hard to do things because nothing makes me happy except being around him/talking to him yet he can do things by himself just fine. I have no friends and him and his friend group are my only friends which sucks. I feel like if something happened to me or maybe we didn't talk for a while he wouldn't care because he has friends to rely on while I have nobody. Right now it feels like he just kind of deals with me and puts up with our relationship because it's convenient or something. In some sort of sick way I would be okay if he dumped me or something because then I would have a reason to kill myself. I don't want him to dump me though because I want to live a happy life with him. I've been thinking about suicide a lot lately though and I have nobody to talk to about it. I'm spiraling into a depression to the point where I don't care much about what happens to me anymore. I'm so afraid right now I'm 18 and I'm not going to college and the only plans I have are moving over there with him and getting a job there and eventually an apartment. If that doesn't work out I don't know what I'll do except kill myself finally.

its my first real time being intimate and affectionate towards someone and I am royally fucking this whole thing up.

its no excuse to be all "im just learning as I go how to deal with relationships" when it comes to this. ive clearly disrespected her and took her for granted and now she wants some space and to see each other less.

it hurts, but iits life and its good learning experience.

I just want one more fucking chance to make it right and prove im not an asshole. I want things back to when we were just starting to hangout; staying out till 2am, sleeping in all day, eating shitty food and watching movies/tv shows, etc.

they'll be another but my fuck does this hurt.

I cant say sorry enough, S. I love you so much and just want to prove to you we can do this. We'll only be better in the longhaul if we just work these differences out, we cant just throw this all away now.

>>18367057
No offence but the solution to most relationships like this is to go to school, get a job or do anything. Trust me one day you will seriously regret wasting your life chasing and obsessing over another person.

Go to school, go get hobbies, get a job. Your boyfriend will see you grow and he might even like you more.

Just don't wake up being 40 and missing out on life because you wanted to spent all that time with one single person.

>>18366950
I still have a very low libido and have never had a real orgasm. And have never felt sexual attraction to anyone. So piss off. I'm just trying to make the best of what I have and not get stuck on a label.

>>18367051
Sure, you have a right to get frustrated at a 17 year old taking her time to understand her sexuality. Who thought she was broken and would never be able to please her boyfriend she loved. Who tried her best to be sexual, did anything for her boyfriend, but it wasn't enough because it wasn't ~natural~. "You only did it for me, not because you wanted it". Well yeah. I did. I pleased your fetishes, I put on my best face and did everything you wanted. I was happy to please you. How cruel of me. Meanwhile all you thought about was fucking a hooker. Pisses me off.

>>18367286
You know, one time I posted here about how I always swallow because I'm lazy. A guy told me "I fucking love you". For something as simple and tiny as swallowing. And I did so much more for you. You never appreciated me.

Whenever my mother tells me it's the meds, or I need to go back to the bowen center, or any other horseshit it just makes me respect her less and less.

She fucking knows what the real problem is. She knows that it isn't the meds and that the people at the bowen center are just fat, stupid cunts. She knows that the things that have been tearing me apart are things she has done. Drugging me, lying to my face, laughing when I try to talk to her, or just ignoring me. The fact is she never listens and never supports me in this. She has turned into my enemy. Everyone has.

I don't even bother trying to talk to my father. The last time I tried he just called me a faggot, so fuck him.

Fuck all of you.

I just want this over so I can get away and live a real life.

>>18367293
Oh and the whole "I just wanted to be desired" thing is pure bullshit, because that whore you fucked didn't desire you, it was her fucking job. I did everything out of love for you. God damn it this is why we shouldn't talk, and this is why I don't want to date you again.

>>18367313

No. You just don't understand it. I wanted to be with someone who wanted to have sex with me. Even if it was for the money...
Sex felt like a failure to me because every person involved should enjoy it... That alone was a big source of frustration.
You even told me that you'd call an escort to have sex with me because you didn't want to do it. You can't even begin to imagine how painful that was...

> Meanwhile all you thought about was fucking a hooker.

That's not true at all and you know it. I really appreciate the effort you did.. I really do!
However, it was VERY hurting at times for me.

> And have never felt sexual attraction to anyone.

That is what I call bullshit (just based on what you post here).

>>18367286

Also, I'm not getting frustrated at your 17 year old version of yourself. I'm getting frustrated at your present self.

I'm sad and lonely. I feel rejected and I just don't understand people at all.

>>18367388
I wanted to have sex with you. Because I loved you!
>You even told me that you'd call an escort to have sex with me because you didn't want to do it.
I said this out of anger and insecurity (because I felt like an absolute failure) so you'd deny it, I was like eighteen, you asked me if I really meant that and I said no. And if it was so painful may I know why the fuck did you end up doing it?

I quote google: Sexual attraction is attraction on the basis of sexual desire or the quality of arousing such interest.
This is the definition I mean and I have never felt this in my fucking life.

>>18367409
My present self did not say any of the things you quoted. You're frustrated because you had to deal with me when I was immature and now that I broke up (because you fucking tried to cheat on me), someone else is going, in your own words, enjoy the sweet part of me after you endured all the bitterness.

Another bridge burned.

I've never had any successful relationships and I just had another one fall apart.

>>18367414

So, saying "I want you all over my body" isn't and indication of sexual attraction?

> I said this out of anger and insecurity (because I felt like an absolute failure) so you'd deny it, I was like eighteen, you asked me if I really meant that and I said no. And if it was so painful may I know why the fuck did you end up doing it?

Okay, you knew I was very insecure too, right? You basically took a knife and stabbed one of my deepest insecurities from that time.
I know I'm at fault here for being insecure but... I didn't believe you when you said you didn't mean to say that.

I felt fear of losing you...

But then I kinda got to the realization that you didn't care about my feelings. I know that you cared about me... But we never undesrtood each other...

>>18367431

Your present self is all I was asking and all I've ever wanted. You could've been like this when we were dating...

>>18366815
It's not a case of perception or mistaking the person for someone else, because the ex in question is a giant black dude

>>18367439
Did you even read the definition I quoted? I don't like him purely because of his body or sexual desire. Neither his body nor his face are anything special. I've never liked anyone based on an appearance alone, in my whole life.

Nah you're not at fault for being insecure, you're at fault for cheating on me. Also if you felt fear of losing me, why would you get angry and whiny when I didn't want to have sex? That only made it worse. You would ONLY stop being mad if we had sex. Maybe *I* felt like you didn't care about my feelings and only cared about having sex.

>>18367449
If anything, I can thank T for my present self.

J, I hope you are happy in your current relationship. I need to apologize for ghosting you like an immature douchecanoe. You're a sweet girl and I just wasn't ready for commitment yet nor was it mature of me to do. Life goes on, but it'll be hard for me to live that down. I cant blame you for hating me. You and your boyfriend now seem so happy and its good to see.


V, You're the first girl I fell in love with and ill never forget that week we spent together. it was an honor being your American boy tourguide throughout the southern Utah deserts, a place that's one of my most favorite ever.

The sex was incredible, ill never forget that either. It was superhuman shit and I still cant believe how long we went for. It broke my heart when you went back home to chile, but being by your side those days were some of the greatest ive ever had.


And to S; where do I begin? Ill never live these mistakes and gremlins down but I do love you. Im young and dumb and never meant to take you for granted like that. I know youre seeing other people on the side and its whatever at this point. Seeing you were still on tinder this whole time hurt but maybe we can figure both of ourselves out and meet down the road at a later convenience, but its a tough pill to swallow knowing what could have been and how my dumbass ruined it by being just a clueless oblivious fucking dolt.

until next time, its been fun. I hope you enjoy your space.

We can meet again at some point but only time will tell and time is all I want at this point.

>>18367459
*on apperance

>>18367464
Ah ffs I can't type today

>>18367459

You're so unfair...

;________________________;

>>18367478
Look. If you wanted my present self. You could've been pacient with me when it came to sex. Given me a chance to charge my batteries, to get aroused. Instead I had so much pressure to have sex I didn't enjoy it. It was a chore. I turned that chore into fun. But it was something I HAD to do, not something I could get to want to do. I did it out of love for you. Only when I got time for myself, no pressure, I realized I could want it every once in a while. I'm sorry that you find it unfair but you can't pretend you weren't part of the problem. And no, you weren't pacient, even if you waited longer than most to have sex, you were bugging me about it all the time.

I mean I'm sorry that you had to date someone with a low libido, but you knew that about me from the very beginning...