I seriously think I am going insane. Please help.

Coming from someone with diagnosed Bipolar 1 /w psychotic features, get to a psychiatrist and tell them this asap. Don't let anyone on 4chan convince you against taking meds for bipolar.

The symptoms you just described sound almost exactly like what I felt before going full on manic - and I fucked my life up pretty hard at the age of 18.

If anything I understand what it's like to have that numb feeling while also feeling like your going off the rails. Racing thoughts and everything. Get to a psych asap and try to get stable again, that should be your absolute first priority.

Aside from that when I have episodes like this I just accept that they're happening and acknowledge them. I don't allow myself to be destructive personally and I try to autopilot life for a bit until things stabilize

>>18357023
What can she do for me? I recently started taking my Focalin again, since I lost my first container last month and just got it refilled, and it feels like this shit was brought on by starting my dose of it, but fuck.

Today, I didn't take my dose of Focalin, I just took my normal dose of 750MG Depakote and 50MG Zoloft, and I still felt pretty low all day. I did not get any studying done either.

I LIKE the feeling I have in regards to my mental proficiency now. I am banging out math notes left and right, and that is really helpful because I take a college entry test soon and I have always struggled with math, but... This fucking depression. It really hurts. It feels like a fucking weight is in my chest.

Obviously I must be manic, but I am not sure what my psych can do, other than throwing more pills at me and telling me to get the fuck out.

Do I just ride this shit out and stay alive as best as I can?

>>18357023
>full on manic
What OP is describing just sounds like his in a long hypomanic phase. People with Bipolar 2 can't have mania, that's why it's called Bipolar 2. This, or you have been misdiagnosed.

Is there any chance you can get access to antipsychotics like Seroquel or Promazine? Promazine will also be anxiolytic in smaller doses.
The standard medication for Bipolar 2 is Depakine (might be called differently depending on the country). It will pretty much solve your problem with the hypomanic phase.

>>18357085
*he's
Goddamn I'm tired. But I hope I could help you man.

>>18357036

Let me preface this by saying that I'm not a doctor and that this isn't valid medical advice

From the quick reading that I did on focalin it looks like it is a stimulant, which is generally not great for those who are bipolar as they can induce cycling and mood swings/destabilization. I can't speak about whether or not you need it since you mentioned that you have ADHD but I avoid stimulants altogether because if the risk of destabilization/manic upswings like the one you described in your original post. The reason I say go to your psych is because it's their job to know this stuff- they went to medical school and specialized in psych. If your doctor is throwing pills at you and telling you to ge the fuck out then it sounds like you need to find a different one. There's no shortage of pdocs that don't understand bipolar outside of their medical textbooks

Getting periods of low emotions and sinking depression is unfortunately par for the course for someone with bipolar, I have no real advice for you there aside from staying on top of school/work as best as you can and getting enough sleep

Idk if this comes off in my post I do not fuck around when it comes to preventing manic psychosis. I would personally rather fail a course in uni and retake it instead of taking stims to do better, which is why I really do suggest talking to a doc to nip this potential manic upswing in the bud

>>18357085
Diagnoses can change and there is no proof that those with bipolar 2 can't end up having a manic episode and ending up w/ bp1, as long hypomanic episodes are characteristic of both

Regardless, the chances of that happening to the op are probably low but they should still be considered. I mentioned seeing a pdoc because stability is important for both bp1 and 2 and their pdoc would absolutely have better input than any random user on 4chan

>>18357108
I never said that they can't end up having Bipolar 1, that's why I mentioned he could have been misdiagnosed.

Don't forget that you are also just a random user. My background is psychiatry, though and I'm only trying to help here.

Also OP, I've read that you're already taking Depakote (which is basically the same as I said Depakine). The higher the dose, the higher the chance of your depression. Lower the dose.
You might also consider tranquilizers (benzos) in your case probably Xanax in 0.5mg for 2 weeks.

>>18357096
Before I started taking Focalin, I self medicated by drinking shit loads of caffeinated beverages.

>>18357125
Huh. Never knew that about Depakote. My psych said taking stims can make me go manic, so that is why she gave me the booster of 250mg Depakote. I was originally on just 500mg. I was on Concerta and it made me very angry, and when I switched to Focalin, since the extra Depakote was working she just let me keep reflling it. How long would it take to cycle out of my system if I were to stop? Of course after talking to my psych.

I might have just mistook my diagnosis, but I do know I was going a day as a depressive suicidal wreck, and then the next day I would be fine until something "triggered" my mood swings again.

>>18357151
The half-life period is about 14 hours give and take a few.

Yeah, Concerta is just a mixture of Ritaline, which increases anxiety, irritability in cases who don't need it (I guess you took 54mg).

The problem with Depakote is, that it can really keep you on the lower end of the spectrum, especially if you are Bipolar 2, you will have a tendency to be more on the depressed side and have longer periods of that. Too much Depakote tends to keep you or even push you into that low.

Reading what you wrote I think you should talk with your psych about Xanax, Valium or Lorazepam and maybe Effexor with the Depakote.

Keep going man.

>>18357162
Focalin is just like a more toned down version of Ritalin though. I am on 15Mg of Focalin, whereas Concerta I was on like 36MG iirc.

I just wish I could keep the fucking feeling of not being dumb though. I am afraid when this wave of mania leaves I will be back to being an unconfident idiot. Or maybe not, since this has shown me I can function and be greater at math than I thought before.

>>18357176
Just keep doing math, you'll be good at it eventually. You don't need Focalin for that.

And as I said, the Xanax etc. will also really help with feeling self-confident. Just don't take it too long, after 2 weeks or so, you should switch to Seroquel or Promazine, because Xanax is addictive, unfortunately (but has the best anxiolytic effect...).

What kind of math are you studying? Is it for college?

>>18357183
Its just run of the mill shit so I can pass the entry test. i already self studied a GED. Its just Algebra, High School Statistics, and Geometry, only now I feel like all the formulas are gluing into my head. It is pretty damn nice to not feel so afraid of math for once and dominate it.

>>18357186
I'm sure, you'll do it. Good luck, anon.

>>18357188
Thanks,
I think I will stop taking the 250MG of Depakote in the mean time until I see my shrink for further instructions and just stick to the 500MG, I will see how taking the Focalin goes then. Right now I feel like I am coming down off the high though The chest heaviness is lifting somewhat.