between the ages of 3-7 i was heavily disciplined by my father when i acted up. i was usually hit with his hand or belt and it generally left welts. i always prided myself on the size of the welt because i thought to myself "yeah i got him really mad this time" i don't know why i did that but i did. anyway, i'm 18 and for some reason still think about it occasionally. i've had severe anxiety/depression since i was 14 and wondered if that maybe triggered anything... i have an extreme fetish for bruises and getting beat as an adult and i'm guessing it goes back to that but could it also have effected my mental health later on?
one time as a joke at 17 i said something to my dad that he was the root of all my depression and he got extremely extremely angry which shocked me because we have a great relationship now
my dude it's simple
you have a fetish
good day.
>>18354462
My father also disciplined me like that for every little thing I did wrong. He is totally different person now. When my wife met him, she couldn't believe he did that shit to me as a child. I'm 37 now and still think about that stuff. I actually find myself defending him whenever the topic comes up. I've also been through depression/anxiety.
I got over it more and more as I aged. I have a daughter and the one thing I don't do is lay a hand on her. When you have a kid someday. Don't be like dad and repeat the same shit.
I doubt your fetish has anything to do with your history, I don't like getting hit but I could always take a beating in a fight. Although, I do like slapping the wife's ass when we fuck.
You likely don't have a fetish. It's probably a faze. If it is a fetish, have fun with that.
>>18354819
can i just ask what compels a 37 year old man to still browse 4chan? Genuinely curious.
>>18354462
That's not discipline, anon. Your parent is a bad person who don't know how to manage his feelings. My father (fortunately I don't live with him anymore) is that kind of person; ex-drunkard, always thinking he's superior to everyone else, religious, "women and kids must be educated through with your fist", "faggots must be hanged"... That kind of person.
Just keep that fetish for yourself, and be an understanding father in a future.
>>18354905
if anything i'd be a mother, but i don't think i'm going to have children after all the mental health problems i've had. i would never wish that shit upon anybody. if i did have kids though, i would never ever hit them with belts or anything like that
>>18354855
fun, laughs and talking to ppl you normally cant
younglings really glorify adult age like you become a completely different person, you dont
t. 34y old
traumas can be cause of all sorts of behaviour, read about it
>>18355482
>if anything i'd be a mother
Are you a girl?
>>18355665
yes
>hitting your kid is child abuse now
>>18355706
i think light swatting is fine but this dude straight up left bruises and welts all over me constantly
>>18355817
Oh
If it leaves a mark it's too much then
The best thing you can do for your mental health is to stop over-analyzing the past. Look ahead, not behind. If you have certain problems, the only way you're going to change that is by accepting responsibility for them yourself. Putting them on someone else and expecting them to kowtow to your insight isn't going to actually change anything for you.
>>18354462
Stop searching excuses and get a job and start acting like a decent human being
>>18355501
>talking to people you normally can't
As long as they are nice and reasonable I don't care about their age. I just don't like it if they are legitimately crazy or advising to do bad things... the latter is always the one who thinks we are losers anyway. We're no losers, we're just people.