Falling in love makes the rest of life unbearable?

>>18353155

the problem isnt that relationships take the joy out of life, but rather that you do. you put such an importance on relationships that you write off the rest of your life as unimportant. this usually dies down after the first week or so of dating someone, by the time you're in a 'routine' with your partner life is normal again

Yes, I empathize. The solution is to get a long term partner, with whom you can stop worrying about those details.

>>18353158
There is some truth in what you're saying.
I'm in my early thirties now and it's still like this every new relationship, I thought I'd grow out of it!
The thing is I've built up a happy and full life with a job I like, friends, family, politically active, have a creative outlet etc. But when I catch them feels it all seems so dull.

I totally understand, OP. I get how that feels. But that's not something that happens to everyone who falls in love all the time - it's something that happens when you don't have enough self-love to fall back on when other people's love isn't immediately present.

You fix this by putting yourself at the center of your universe, instead of her. Spend your days working towards your own advancement, and make your partner secondary to that. Know that they love you, and you are loved, but don't depend on it.

If it ever falls apart, what are you going to fall back on?

Love-sickness is okay, so long as it doesn't become chronic for your entire relationship.

No matter what you do, what your partner says to you, they will find to treat you like shit and leave you worse than when they found you. Everyone is a narcissistic whore, be careful with who you let in.

>>18353163

romantic hormones are like drugs and they make not having that rush of hormones feel bad.

that being said, they pass after about a week to a month of dating. if you can put up with two weeks of 'dull' for a long term realtionship you will be fine

>>18353171
>You fix this by putting yourself at the center of your universe
Hey, just become a narcissistic piece of shit like me! Compromise everything!

I've felt similar even with people who probably never knew how crazy I was about them.

>girl from work was seasonal/temp.
>have a chat with her and she reciprocates how I felt "I got a good feeling from you", she said "me too".
>she was texting most the time, I thought maybe it was her sister.
>day later she doesn't show up to work and I felt like absolute shit, like a negative number, just going about the same physical functions to get the job done
>she shows up the next day and I feel like the happiest man alive
>walk up n sit down in front of her on break, she's txting again
>ask whp she's texting with
>"my bf"
>...ah... ...."God bless the two of you"
>she says, Amen.
>I walk away after break forcing myself to move on

It happens I guess.. A part of me wanted to give her my number anyway, but I felt like I'd be instilling a seed of negativity if I did. She really deserved peace of mind.

>>18353178
You misunderstand. There's a significant difference between being a narcissistic piece of human garbage who cares for nobody but themselves, and someone who doesn't depend mostly on others to make themselves feel whole.

I understand feeling sick while waiting for that text back, but if it gets to the point where it makes the rest of life un-enjoyable, there's something wrong with OP's priorities.

>>18353207
OP here. I agree that it's responsible and normal to put yourself at the centre of your universe.
It's just hard bc I do do that in my life- I have a really happy and fulfilling life with lots of different elements. But even now aged 33 life can't hold a candle to love.

>>18353229
>I have a really happy and fulfilling life with lots of different elements.
It's great that you know that. Honestly, I haven't even gotten to that point myself, so I can't say I can relate as much, but I'm happy for you, man.
Maybe you should see a shrink. They might be able to help you out.
I don't mean that in a "whoa man you need to get help" urgent kind of way, more because this just sounds like something they might have ideas about. Ask your close friends. Know anyone who's married? Single and okay with it? Try getting their perspectives.
I hope you can triangulate some kind of answer that works for you.

>>18353158
I have never had this. Lost my gf recently because I was too fucking clingy. We were co-dependent and to me it was fantastic, but she grew out of it and I just didn't.

It fucking sucks man. Before I got into the relationship game I was fine with being a loner. Now every fucking day I'm not spending time with a woman --any woman-- is torture. It's like an addiction and it fucking drives me up the wall.