How come so many people are in a relationship?

>>18350012
Ask girls out.
When you like someone just ask them on a date.

Just start going on date with random girls. Yeah you wont fall in love with a couple, but you will slowly get over her.

>>18350015
I truly *like*, what two, three girls a year? I've met a lot of nice and cute girls but available girls that really catch my interest are very rare. This is probably a byproduct of a) I'm not meeting enough new girls; b) I'm too picky with girls; c) both.

>>18350025
>catch your interest
>putting people on pedestals

> not talking to girls like people

you deserve your loneliness.

>>18350029
>putting people on pedestals

I think this is key. How do I stop doing this shit? You're right, when I fall in love with a girl I essencially don't see her as a person but as a projection of my desires, she's basically perfect.

>>18350029
This, toi projet on them something. Dreqminh about them and shit isn't good for you. Stop focusing on women, more on yourself.

>>18350033
You* not toi

>>18350025
Do you ask those girls out? Do you try to meet more girls?

>>18350044
I usually ask them out, but I guess it's mostly to casual stuff (go have a coffee, study/chill together for a while). I don't think that's the problem though, for example the last girl I illuded myself with verbally confirmed she had no romantic interest in me (not to me directly, but to a mutual friend) and she is still on my mind even today. I've basically given up on her because I know I have no chance, but on the other hand, I still have a little bit of hope that things could work out later on. It's stupid, I know.

I've also been making an effort to meet new girls, even if slowly since I don't really like clubbing and big parties and that kind of stuff. I'm gaining confidence and experience with girls, I notice I'm much less of an autist than I was before

>>18350054
You should never tell a girl you like her or it's over, you become an option cause you have expectations. She will look for someone more challenging then choose you if there is nothing else or not choose you at all.
You should always make them understand that they are 3rd on your list or something.

>>18350033
> Focus on yourself

I think this is good advice. I'm already bettering myself, going to the gym and talking with more to girls in order to be a better at conversations (my biggest flaw if I had to say). I guess that's cheating since indirectly, I'm kind of doing that to make myself more attractive to girls though...This summer I think I'll focus on my dream of making music, hopefully that will keep me distracted and give me a way to use my feels as inspiration or something

>>18350066
You can also ignore women to "restart yourself", come back in the game as another man.

>>18350054
I have been in the same situation as you, anon. I used to be Chad like, only get girls for sex and shit untill one day I lost confidence and since I'm trying to get back on track.
I did exactly what you did, overthought stuff and shit, when you see yourself doing that, get your mind busy, don't overthink stuff and if you don't understand something do not hesitate to ask them to make things clearer.
Also, do not hesitate to say what you think.

>>18350062
I never told any girl I liked her, and I'm 100% sure no girl would ever describe me as clingy or needy. They may be on my mind 24/7 but in real life I always make an effort to present myself as someone with his life sorted out and with other alternatives when it comes to girls. I actually start ignoring girls and giving them less of my time if I notice they're showing a lack of interest and I'm always the one that starts conversations and makes plans for things, but it usually doesn't change much.

>>18350075
Good advice, thanks Chadbro
Overthinking is also a big flaw of mine, I'm addicted to interpreting even the most trivial of things...And speaking your mind with no hesitation is also very important. I struggle a lot with that, because of the whole "putting her on a pedestal" thing. I can't help but mince my words and thoroughly think about every syllable that comes out of my mouth. The result is a stuttering sperg with boring conversations

>>18350094
You overthink cause you're addicted to it lol. I know that, you love that mess, that ambiguous unhealthy relationship, we all enjoy that at some point, the feeling is like a drug. Focus on what you want from them, then you'll start playing, that's how I used to do :

>talk to them normally to gain their trust
>make them understand I want pussy or they're out.

Become for them, that drug they are, for you.

>>18350104
Yeah that's a good way to put it, I'm addicted to that ambiguous unhealthy relationship. The first weeks are always the best, probably some of the happiest moments of my life so far. The girl always seems really interested in me, then I realize she's like that with most guys and start picking up bad signs and then it all goes downhill. I'll keep your advice in mind and be more clear about what I want, even though I think I'm already being quite clear right now.

>>18350139
You're on the right track anon, keep going.

>>18350168
That means a lot, thank you