Age Gap

>>18348481
>married a girl 10 years older
nigga, why?

>>18348486
I was in love with her, she was in love with me. It was a reasonable thing at the time <shrug>

im guessing she's aware you have kids

why do you feel like you're going to ruin her life? you love her, she loves you, what's the problem? why are you trying to deny yourself happiness?

>>18348490
I dunno. Maybe I just can't believe my own luck heh - but I don't entirely believe she knows what she's getting herself into yet. And by the time she does I don't want to basically have her by the emotional balls so to speak

>>18348493
im sure if she had any reservations about you she wouldn't be interested in you

out of curiosity, what country are you in

>>18348500
Australia.

That's too young. She doesn't know what she wants or needs yet, you're coming off a bad relationship. Is she going to attend college? Does she intend to have a career? What if it takes her away from your area? Is she going to restrict her future potential to be with you? Or are you going to lavish her with attention and cash so she never has to work and instead becomes a homemaker?

As for sexual compatibility, no shit. She's in the most virile period of her life and her body is never going to get better than what it is now.

>Wow, this 17 year old is really hot!
Brought to you by the Department of the Obvious, a Division of the No Duh Corporation

>>18348511
It's not about "hot", it's about... turn ons/offs, kinks, styles, emotionality etc. Sex is considerably more than "two people bonk". I don't normally have a thing for teenagers, I traditionally went the other direction.


Yes, she's planning on attending university and having a career. As for restricting future potential... it's not unusual to factor one's relationships into one's life choices. I definitely don't want to impose a domestic life on her though. If she wants that down the track... I dunno. Will work that out when we come to it.

>>18348511
And the "bad relationship" basically fizzled out 3 or 4 years ago now and it takes a while to disentangle lives. It didn't really go sour as just die completely.

shes not a woman
shes a little girl
shes trying to prove her womanness to you by letting you do whatever you want, and shes young so your ego is through the roof

you are kinda already ruining her life because she will become one of those whores who "im just into older dudes" when she has no idea what shes into, given no experience

im 34 btw, its very fun when a little girl (legal age) bounces on your dick and you get a sort of 2nd shot of young love because they are so eager but seriously, they are still children

>>18348565
I wasn't a "little boy" at 17/18 though...
I was a bit of an idiot, but I own every decision I made then to this day.

If I considered myself capable of reasonable thought and decisions back then how can I think she's not?

Hmm

At the very least this is a handy sounding board to get my thoughts in order.

I'm enjoying being challenged tho. thankyou.

You're going to get sick of her really quickly.

Also if her parents are okay with this, then the values and morals she was raised with are questionable at best.

>>18348596
I dont think so, it's more likely she'll get over me desu.

It's not a case of her giving her parents a lot of choice either. I can't blame her, I'd do/have done the same in her position

>>18348599
>I dont think so, it's more likely she'll get over me desu.
So either way, one of you is going to get sick of the other. What's the point then?

>It's not a case of her giving her parents a lot of choice either. I can't blame her, I'd do/have done the same in her position
What?

>>18348611
That's a risk anyone entering a relationship bears. You never really know for sure till you try.

As for the parents thing, her parents disapprove in a general sense but would rather retain a relationship with their daughter than come down too hard. That's very similar to the position I have placed my parents in during my youth.

>>18348613
Her parents being okay with their teenage daughter dating a guy in his 30s because 'they don't want to ruin their relationship' is called bad parenting. I honestly have no idea how you think it's okay that they're just putting up with it.

>>18348481
Wouldn't that be weird since your children and the new chick aren't that far apart in age?

>>18348621
She'd be closer in age to the kids than to him. That's fundamentally fucked up.

>>18348621
My kids are 2 and 4. It's not something that bothers me. There's a big difference between 4 and 17.

>>18348619
What would you propose they do then? It's barely any of their business and in a few months they have no right to do anything about it anyway.

>>18348628
>It's barely any of their business and in a few months they have no right to do anything about it anyway.
Oh my god, you're a parent and you actually think like this?

>>18348635
I will want my kids to be happy, yes. In terms of their love lives I can protect them from actual harm until they are 18 and then all I can do is give advice and support.

The fact that they're going along with this so far tells me that they think blocking it would do more harm to her than allowing it to happen. They're not happy, they tell her that any chance they get, but I would consider it great parenting that they're allowing her to ultimately make her own choices.

I demanded the same of my parents in my youth. My relationship with my parents now is far stronger than it would have been otherwise.

>>18348642
So if in 14 and 16 years your kids are making decisions that you don't agree with and may potentially be threatening their well-being, you'd just shrug your shoulders, say "eh, it's none of my business; they're adults now" and think you're a good parent?

>>18348667
I'll advise them as much as I can, but I won't ultimately override them. People have to make their own mistakes, and I could always be wrong. Heck if I disapprove and they go ahead I hope like hell I am proven wrong.

>>18348673
I'm glad your kids have another parent to actually give a fuck about them.

>>18348674
Do you realise I hold this attitude because I do give a fuck about them?

>>18348481
Dont date children op. She hasnt stopped puberty and her brain is still developing yet. In few years she may be different person.

And now tell us op why did the marriage die and how could you prevented it. Share your life experience for us clueles anons of marriage perils. Please.

>>18348686
So let's try another scenario: your kids are 18. They're starting to get into drugs. You "advise them but won't ultimately override them" because "people have to make their own mistakes".

And you do this because you care about them and think it's good parenting?

>>18348506
canberra LOL

>>18348569
yea but
as an adult, just by you being you around her
is a huge influence on her, you are free to do anything you want ofcourse but, its probably not the best for her

she might also get bored of you once she enters that 20y old age when they suddenly want to "explore themselfs"

>>18348699
My ex was unable to juggle multiple priorities after having kids. Becoming a mother consumed all her life and attention and left none for the relationship. She recognized this but considered it acceptable. You can't maintain a marriage that way.

>>18348719
Yes absolutely. Experimenting with drugs is for many people a critical part of their youth.

>>18348750
thats how it is for 3 years after the baby is born, are you sure you aint a manchild who wanted his mommy too?

>>18348750
>multiple priorities
Are you telling me that when kids have become priority number one for your wife (which is normal, since all what male is good for is sperm and paychecks) and she stopped treating you like a god you are, that you just divorced?

What was exactly the reason of break up? Sex life died? She neglected you? What have you tried to gain back her attention? Tried to make compromises?

Man tell some juicy story, this is anon website.

So OP, I want to say this. When I was 17-18 I also attracted a lot of old men, it was fairly easy because I was always nice and didn't really have a view of life (yes it's possible at that age to still be innocent). Men would want to get serious with me and actually believed they loved me when there was nothing of personality I showed to them. I never truly wanted to get serious with them either.

I'm 24 now and feel I have matured a lot since then, even though it's been just a few years. And when I look back I feel a little disgusted how guys are easily tricked by the youthfulness that a girl might actually like them.

I'm not saying it's always the case, I can't judge the decisions other people make when I was probably not the smartest either. Just make sure you know if this is what you really want.

>>18348731
What of it?

>>18348481
kys

>>18348765
Its not quite like that, I'd rather not go too deeply into it, but neither of is were the person we wanted to be with any more.

>>18348799
Interesting, thankyou for the perspective. I'm seriously not normally attracted to youth - in fact I usually find teenagers insufferable - but it was in fact personality that first drew me to her, before it ever occurred to me that there was more.

The early to mid twenties is definitely a time of maturation.
Hmm.
I think I just need to have some more frank discussions with her to try to cut through the flush of emotional crap on both our parts, ego on my part and inexperience on hers to figure out where things really stand and how serious we're going to be taking this going forward.
I also need to exercise extreme patience and care for quite a while.

>>18348826
You first

>>18348731
NSW actually

My parents are 75 and 50, I know it sounds weird, but actually, at some points, age dosen´t matter, If she´s mature enough, compatible and feel atracted by you, I would try it. For sure.

>>18348481
Meh. I think it's fine. Age isn't always an indicator of maturity. It may not last forever but thats ok. I was in a similar, yet very different situation and we are still very close, though not together.

>>18348899
>>18348949
Thanks folks. I'm just taking it as it comes desu. There's gonna be some interesting chats happening tho

>>18348481
Don't judge solely based on age OP. You may experience challenges having to do with culture and relating to her, but if she is mature and you get along great then don't let the "muh pedophilia" crowd stop you.

>>18348493
She'll soon be 18. In other words, an adult. Perfectly capable of being responsible for such a decision herself. Stop patronising her.

>>18349842
Good point. You're perfectly right