My gf

you cant tell her what to do and if you try to its gonna come back around to bite you in the ass 100x worse. really this is in her hands and if she decides to go another way, she did you a favor in the long run because she didnt feel the same way you did

dont confront the guy though because then you will really look like a controlling douche and make him look alot better in comparison, especially if you have no real reason to

Instead of controlling who she sees could I instead control who I see and say "stay away from me, I don't care if you see anon gf just stay away from me". Another thing too, is that she thinks I'm a mean person. And recently I have grown to hate a lot of people. I think this has to do with the fact that I have very few good friends and one of them is in another state and the other dropped out of school. How can I cope with this and stop hating other people ?

He either fucked her or is about to
Looking bad for you OP

>>18348169
You can't control who she sees directly but tell her to cut it out or you'll break up with her.

>afk

Have a very strern private conversation ith the guy. Tell him he will end up with a knife in his throat i fhe continues to talk to her.

>>18348169
just don't date girls who are friends with men. don't put up with that shit. not rocket science or if they are going to pull that shit go have your own backup female friends that you can replace her with.

>>18348169
>she went to his house and she has been spending a lot of time with him. The day I got back I spent most of it with her, and she had four missed calls and a text from him

Come on OP she has a new lover or has done enough with him he believes they will be. On top of that she is with him right now and it is not his fault she is the one making time for him. He's not the one in a relationship, she is.

>>18348202
OP you already lost any control over who she spends private time with all that is left is what you are willing to live with. She's already lying to you to converse and be with him.

You can belittle the guy all you want but have to face the fact she likes being with him despite calling you a bf.

>>18348169
even though as you said she had 4 missed calls and a text, she's not into him but she's still being an attention whore, it's smth i doubt you can change about her, she's an idiot

This is what i sent to the guy

I'm never usually mean and i feel very uncomfortable telling you this but, Id prefer it if you left me alone for a while. id prefer it if you did the same with Aisha, but its her choice who she spends her time with and who her friends are. There is a big reason behind why I want you to stay away but its more of a personal thing that I'm not comfortable talking about at the moment. I'm very sorry I feel this way.

He replied okie dokie.

>>18350119
IMO you fucked up, he's 100% going to show this to her, and she'll be upset. Update us later anon.
Btw I can kinda relate to you because my gf is really normie and social so she has a bunch of guy friends, and I get jealous sometimes, but you should try not to care or at least pretend not to, because you'll look insecure/gay as fuck and she'll notice it because women sense this stuff from miles away

>>18350242
Update:
I sent a text saying I'm never usually mean and i feel very uncomfortable telling you this but, Id prefer it if you left me alone for a while. id prefer it if you did the same with Gf, but its her choice who she spends her time with and who her friends are. There is a big reason behind why I want you to stay away but its more of a personal thing that I'm not comfortable talking about at the moment. I'm very sorry I feel this way.

He said ok and is fine with it. Gf said she likes him (as a friend is what she meant) and not much more was said after that.

Today at lunch ( I go to high school yr 11) I was walking with Gf and the guy saw us and left straight away. I was glad he did it, but I was overwhelmed with sadness soon after. I feel really bad about it

>>18351396
>I was glad he did it, but I was overwhelmed with sadness soon after. I feel really bad about it
This is interesting. You got what you wanted, but you realized you were selfish and there was probably nothing wrong with them being friends.

Your real problem isn't some guy talking to your gf, it is insecurity and jealousy.
You fight these by working on himself, not by asking every guy she talks to to fuck off.

Believe me that even if this guy never talks to her again, things won't get better for you if you don't work on your jealousy and insecurities. You will be more and more suspicious and you'll stop trusting her, which will make you do even more stupid shit than what you just did.

Trust your gf. Don't try to control her (always a huge red flag; let her do what she wants). If you can show her that you trust her, you'll see that she'll love you even more for it and there's little chance she'll cheat on you. However if you become a controlling paranoid maniac she'll get bored very quickly and might consider a new relationship. This is how it usually goes

tl;dr : jealousy WILL fuck up your relationship, not some guy talking to your gf. Work on that instead of trying to control who she talks to

How do you know this guy is not just lonely and wants someone to hang out with, maybe even just to talk to?

>>18351609
Truer words have never been written.

>>18351609

Nah, the feeling bad is just your mind playing tricks on you. You have every right to not want some nerd fucking around with your girlfriend, and you may have dodged a major bullet.

I knew a girl like that, she had a boyfriend but also a whole gaggle of nerdy hangers-on. I was interested in her, actually hung out with her alone at my house, and probably could have gone for it if I wanted to (they had been together for a while and it was widely known that they had been fighting etc.). In retrospect it's probably a good thing that I didn't, because she would have done the same thing with me. Some girls just love the attention, it's a red flag.

>>18351860
>You have every right to not want some nerd fucking around with your girlfriend
Yes. But ultimately, you can't do anything about it. The only thing you CAN do, is trust your gf, and be a better person to her than any of these nerds gravitating around her. No matter how many fuckboys try to get in your girl's pants, if she says no to every one of them, nothing will happen. I'm not saying it's easy, it's fucking hard to deal with, but you have to work to keep a relationship.

>and you may have dodged a major bullet
What bullet ? The guy is probably not the first one and he won't be the last one. If OP got attracted to his gf in the first place, he's probably not the only guy attracted to his gf. That's how it works.

The thing is, if one's gf is a cheating bitch, she'll cheat eventually anyway, no matter how controlling and jealous you act or not. If that's how she is, it will happen anyway.
BUT, however, you can fuck up a completely fine relationship by being jealous when she wasn't even gonna cheat/break up in the first place.

You'll always lose with jealousy. If you let her live her life like she wants, she MIGHT cheat if that's how she is, but she would have done it even if you did everything to prevent it. But if she's a decent person and you're a great guy, she probably won't cheat. If she does, well you'll just know she's a slut. But at least you'll know she didn't cheat because you were a controlling insecure freak.

Don't know if this all makes sense but that's how I see it


>>18351776
Thanks. I've been there, now I think I'm starting to understand how this all works