What do

Hey anon I'm diagnosed with an personality disorder, but can't remember life without it. How do you know that you loved people?

I could place my ex's needs before my own and I couldn't stand lying to her about anything. And thinking about her made me happy. Don't know if it's really love. Because a lot of the time I was an egocentric douche to her.

>>18345481
You have narcissism not sociopathy.
You should know yourself.
Dont be swayed by reading things and relating to them because thats how astrology works and thats all bullshit to begin with.
Also you dont need to pretend about the reason you do things as long as you are doing the right thing.
A human being can think that rape is okay as long as they never share that information or act on it without ever having a problem in life.
I like being naked when I am home but im not pretending to like wearing clothes in public just because I do it.

You make a fair point. I'm prone to living out what I read on the internet.

I also know the difference between narcissism and sociopathy. But they're also similiar in a way, to me. I need to control my every thought, because if I don't, I bully and manipulate people. Moral should not be a thought screaming: "What the fuck are you doing, this is bad. Think of the consequences".. Right?

The fact that you recognize yourself as
NPD and are concerned is very positive. I commend you for this, because most narcs deny and gaslight their way out of their problem. There is no current form of therapy for narcopaths (unlike BPD) so it may be very difficult for you now esp when we have Trump out there bringing that shit to the global point. But I believe that not all narcissists HAVE to be malignant. There is a writer/psychologist guy named Sam Vaknin who has written and posted on YouTube extensively about narcissism. He is self-diagnosed with it. Perhaps one day there will be therapy for you if more of you are willing to accept that you hAve this.

how did get diagnosed?

There is therapy in my country. And I got diagnosed by a personality disorder expert.

Thanks for telling me it's good I'm concerned about my NPD. I feel the same and will use it to motivate myself through my therapy.

>>18345523
Thats not how thought processes work.
You arent just born with a voice in your head that says "hey do the right thing."
That comes from years of coaching from your parents on how to think about the world.
Its very possible that you spent your whole life bullying people and being selfish and getting your way everytime thus reinforcing the belief that this is how you get what you want.
If you really are sociopathic then an easy way to tell is to think about movies or tv shows or anything that has two characters interacting.
Have you ever felt empathy with those characters even to the point of feeling cringy because of how cheesy or sappy something is?
And for the record empathy means understanding an emotional expression not feeling the same emotion as them.

And thanks for telling me about Sam Vaknin. His videos are exactly what I was looking for. Thanks a lot man.

>>18345574
I know for a fact I feel empathy. Usually only in matters I can relate to. But before I got diagnosed, I didn't emphasize with anything.

Empathy is a weird thing to me. Realizing how bad someone feels just wrecks me completely. I'm also BPD, which to me explains why it's difficult for me.

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>I just found out I'm a narcissist
>So I've been spending all of my time obsessing over this aspect of myself
Can't make this shit up.

>>18345481
>before i knew i loved and cared about people.

Well if research on a subjective disorder doctors could potentially get wrong can have this effect on you then im going to try to use the same logic in reverse. This isnt advice, im actually curing you here:


I am diagnosing you with psychosomatosis. Im sorry anon. It must be so hard. I suggest you spend hours on the internet researching this and exagerate to yourself how it effects your life.

I found out a few months ago. And yes, I'm obsessed with it. I know this. I'm obsessed so I ask advice from people who can look at me objectively.

>>18345617
It's hard for me to take you serious, but I will. I was not wrongly diagnosed. And even if I were, I'd be a fool to take your unbased opinion over that of a PD expert.

I've suspected myself that I have something like psychosomatosis or hypochondria. But that's been ruled out after 1.5 years of psychotherapy.

>>18345637
Sorry if i was blunt. Ill be more helpful and sympathetic because that was kind of the aim and that didnt come through in my wording.

I dont think you were wrongly diagnoses. It is possible because mental disorders overlap. But thats the other problem. If you have NPD, the fact they overlap means while you were researching, you treaded into sociopath territory and overembodied it.

Your original post is the behaviour of an outright sociopath. Not a narcissist. Narcissists have an over inflated sense of self and feel they deserve a lot more than everyone else. They dont necessarily believe no one else matters.

My old best friend was a sociopath. Trust me, TRUST me when i say i can say with faith he has not once in his life gone to a doctor and then posted on an advice board with legitimate concern for himself and wishes he could like people.

He flat out doesnt care. Thats a sociopath.

>>18345637
>>18345654

Oh and psychosomatosis isnt a word nor is it a condition. I made it up. But you knew what I was talking about so you got my point.

>>18345654
If you put it that way, it makes a lot of sense to me. I lack a sense of identity and am starting to accept that people who say "mean" things to me can be right.

I feel like I've wrecked my ex's emotions and now empathize with narc abuse victims. In doing so I got totally obsessed and start to see myself as a sociopath. While in reality I'm so worried about being like that, that I couldn't be sociopath for the life of me.

This is what you meant, right?

>>18345670
Bang on. I dont have narcissistic personality disorder. I too have hurt people. I damn near mentally and emotionally annhilated my high school sweetheart. Not proud of it but She wasnt perfect either and did her fair share of damage to me too. Were all assholes sometimes. But you've over attributed that to your condition.

And i can empathise with that, because I have adhd. I was diagnosed young, ignored it, got rediagnosed at 27, started medication, and it made such an impact on my life i began going back through and attributing every fault problem and issue to it.

Now i have it all sorted out, but for awhile it was extremely difficult for me to differentiated what was the disorder and what was just normal people struggles.

Its hard because its all super subjective.

Ny suggestion to you from that context is to compare yourself to people you consider normal. If ever you do something wrong or fail and you think its npd, check in with normies to see if theyve done the same things or made the same mistakes.

Narcissism is just a pattern of behaviors stemming from pride and selfishness taken to its extreme. If you read psychobabble BS it will have you thinking you're some irredeemably broken monster, but that's not true.

>>18345654
Diagnosed sociopath lurker here, totally correct about your friend. Just thought I'd chime in

>>18345676
Before I got diagnosed with more, I did pin everything on ADHD. And you're right, I'm doing the same thing with NPD right now.

You're a wonderful human being. You made me realize once again that I'm going about it all wrong. I shouldn't look at my labels and limitations. I should just try to be the person I want to be.

>>18345682
And you're giving the same conclusion as I just made. Thanks man.

I actually feel better now. Thanks a lot /adv/!

>>18345688
Glad I could help!

>>18345481
Narcissistic personality disorder doesn't mean you don't feel anything or have any empathy (not necessarily at least for the empathy, there are degrees to it). It just means you are preoccupied with yourself and your status and your own feelings, that you exploit other people and that you might have some empathetic blind spots. A lot of people have this shit desu it's not really the end of the world just see it when it's happening or try your best and fake it till you make it, you can rewrite the way you act to a certain degree.
I think I might have it desu but I am generally very empathetic. But I am a schemer and a finnesser, I will rob shit from people I don't know/like and feel nothing. I also use other peoples' emotions to my advantage and am very strategic socially. But I make it ok bro.

>>18345567
>>18345575
Hey man for real you give me hope. I'm not a narcissist but it's people like you who are going to help the world with this problem. Perhaps you might consider becoming a therapist yourself?

>>18345481
>I got dignosed with narcissism. Eversince I can't think about anything else.

Good joke.