Coping with rejection

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Dunno about girls, but it's really hard for a guy to 'just be friends.'
It's much easier and less draining to cut off contact.
You probably hurt him, a lot, and you'd do well to think about how he feels.

>>18340748
Ending a relationship can be difficult for both parties involved, obviously. And one thing that is often done, in good faith, is the whole "still friends" deal. He agreed to it but what else could he have done. He wouldn't have turned you down at that moment. So he made this empty promise. From the sound of it, he really cared for you and when he found out you didn't want a relationship he had to cut you off. The reason being because it's too much (like the guy above me said, it's draining). Now that you've come back, he's only reminded of the pain you left him with. He's now trying to avoid getting in too deep emotionally with you out of fear of being hurt again and reliving the pain of losing you.

>>18340748
You broke his heart ya dumbass. Now you want him to just take you back and take a chance of it happening again? He is very smart to have rejected you.
I don't want to greentext your entire open, but as an outsider reading it, it's clear that you were looking for a bigger better deal. Didn't find it, and now want what you once had. Anyone else reading it I'm sure will think just about the same, that you're a very immature idiot, whining for attention that you don't deserve. And the worst part, that truly shows your immaturity level, is wondering why is he doing this? You are blaming him for you slutting around for the past 2 years. Hah. You get what you give ya dumb cunt.

>>18340748
Do you realize how fucking stupid you sound? You left him, and are sitting here crying about it. What did you expect, to be friends with someone after you hurt them like that? Hes smart for what he did

>I made a Tinder and went on a few dates and kept thinking about him

You are lying to yourself. You know you probably sucked off and fucked dozens of guys from that site, and your ex never once crossed your mind. But now that hes rejected you 2 years later, you want to try to play the hopless romantic, victim card

>What have I done that made me lose him?

You are pathetic

>>18340823

This

You are the one who rejected him and broke his heart. Most people who go through heartbreak can't keep normal contact with the dumper since it's like re-opening a serious wound. It hurts, you hurt him. He has every right to have his defenses up and want to keep distance from you.

He probably doesn't know why you really want to see him. He also is probably very wary that he is walking into the same relationship with all the same problems and you haven't shown him any reason as to why he should give you a second chance.

You shouldn't invite him out with the intention of getting back together and maybe not to a place so nostalgic. Try inviting him out somewhere new under the circumstances of simply catching up and trying to rebuild a sense of rapport. But before even doing that maybe just keep casual contact via messages until he feels comfortable enough to see you.

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> We had many things in common but he was too introverted, passive and insecure. The night of the break up we decided to stay friends because i felt like he was a good guy.
Translation: My boyfriend was a beta bitch so I dumped him, but wanted to stay friends out of guilt/wanting to be nice

>I made a tinder and went on a few dates but i kept thinking about him. Two years have passed and I still cant get over him. I miss him so much and feel really guilty
Translation: I fucked a few other guys but the way he ghosted me made me feel really insecure about myself and I'm confusing that for actual feelings

>Why is he doing this? What have i done that made me lose him? Why would he beg me to stay and then turn cold on me? Help me /adv/ i'm a mess i just want him back
He realized that he could do better. Begging is pathetic and you should be proud of that guy for retroactively realizing that and moving on with his life. You should do the same.

I know i hurt him, it hurt me as well. I waited for him to come back and he never did. I never had sex with anyone from tinder, i was just trying to get over him.
I stalked his fb and found out he's changed for the better and i want to be back in his life.
I already aware of what ive done, i feel bad about it everyday i regret it every second.
Should i message him and tell him how i feel? I cant just let him go

>>18340905
Be a human and call him if you can get his phone number.

>>18340905
You're the one who broke the bridge, so you're a fool for expecting him to come back. You have to be the first one to extend the hand after doing that shit.

You're just upset because he wasn't okay with being friends with you to soothe your guilty conscience and moved on.

>>18340905
Give him an honest apology and let him decide whether to accept it. Just be ready to let him go if he does not.

>>18340748
>Why would he beg me to stay
Because he really loved you

>and then turn cold on me?
Because you pushed him away and broke up when he was willing to fix things with you

He ignored you precisely because he did care so much about you such that it hurt him too much to keep contact after the breakup.

>>18340905
>I stalked his fb and found out he's changed for the better and i want to be back in his life.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!
You are batshit crazy. The best thing in his life is for having you to have left it. I feel bad for this guy. And bullshit you never fucked anyone from Tinder. That's what Tinder is for, this "hook-up" generation.
And now that he's doing good you want him back? Instead of standing by him thick and thin? Bitch, you have no fucking clue what love is, that's for real.
You need to just go the fuck away. NEVER EVER come back to 4chan. And fuck off!

P.S. You are truly an undeserving cunt!

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>>18340748
bait?

Holy shit, you scared the hell out of me. My ex girlfriend and I were in almost the same situation. I though it was her...

Anyways, in response to your question, I would give it time. It's obvious that you hurt him pretty badly, especially with him pouring his heart out to you. Trust me, I know. That shit hurts really bad, and for a while. I'm kinda the same as him, insecure, who trusted my heart to someone who just dropped me for, God knows why. But that shit hurts, and it takes a while to get over. Tbh, I don't think I'd ever take my ex back, but she'll seemingly never talk to me again, so I shouldn't have to deal with it. It's probably a little bit of a good sign that he's talking to you, but still, if he doesn't want to get back together, and he's probably moved on by now, maybe you should do the same. You two could be friends still, but it's probably best, especially after 2 years, to move on. Life goes on. It might still hurt for now, but I'd apologize if you feel you treated him poorly, and let him go his way. If he comes back to you, it's on him.

>>18340907
>>18340947
>>18341139
I wish he would give me the chance to do so. I feel like I'm running out of time, its been forever since we last seen each other.

>>18340943
>>18340951
I will admit that it will make me feel so much better if he were to come out and talk with me. When we broke up, he didn't fight for me nor did he make efforts to contact me after. We had no closure. I have so many questions, some times i wonder if our relationship was even real or not.

>>18340748
LEAVE THIS DUDE ALOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEEE

You cant just go around and do everything you want. A relationship requires effort, and you didn't put effort in that relationship. Time to gather what you learned and move on. Things will go better from now on. Do mind that women's market value decreases drastically after their early twenties, so don't wait to long to settle down or do retarded uncomitted shit, as this will have a big impact on your future relationships. Good luck !

The only reason you think you want him so bad is he cut contact with you and moved on faster than you did. If he had been pining after you and trying to get back with you, you would have probably blocked him and smugly thought he was weak and pathetic. Now you see him as something unattainable and your ego is bruised. I guarantee if you got back together you would break up again within months as your ego would be stroked and you realized you didn't truly want him anyways. Just move on