How do you stop overthinking things? I finally grew some nuts

I do the exact same thing. I often replay awkward conversations I've had with chicks that happened 5 years ago.

I've been advised to practice meditation. It will help you be more of a laid back person who doesn't give a fuck.

>>18340565

>signs

the only sign you need is her answer. if she said yes, i wouldnt worry about it. if she said no, probably to some degree.

>>18340648
Not OP, but would if she says "sure" really awkwardly?

There never are any signs with girls and dating stop listening to the bullshit your find on the internet.

If she was really interested she would have said a straight yes.
You may have a doubt if she says that she is busy on that day, to which you can ask her another time.

But for anything else, just take it as a "not interested sorry".

It's good if you had the balls though, there is no other way, sadly this is the times we live in, where men need to expose themselves to get what they want.

>>18340679
If she gets distant after that or ghost you then it's a "not interested".

Don't think too much about her reaction, if she is the type to get creeped like that, she is doing you a favour and you should really forget about a girl that egocentric.


Otherwise, it can mean she is shy, scarred to show her interest, or anything else really.

Bottom line, is the only answer you need from her is a yes, after that anything can happen, red flags are yours to find, nobody can give you enough advice to help you.

If you feel like she wasn't really interested, that she is playing you, or that she is a manipulative bitch looking for attention... then don't go with her.

I know how hard it is to admit that this girl is not for you or that she is not interested, I've been there too, so I'm telling you, if you feel more disconfort or that she is not thinking about you the same way or as much as you think about her, then leave her asap.

After that she may even come back to you, if she does, say you're not interested anymore.

>>18340707
Yeah, see here was the context of the situation.

I was in a group setting and noticed the chick eye balling me a lot. Didn't really think anything of it. Then, my friend introduced her to me, saying she wanted to meet me.

Things got awkward real quick. I was caught of guard and I thought the chick was a little out of my league. I was really nervous talking to her. Not sure how noticeable it was, but I'm guessing it was really noticeable. She almost looked like she was holding in laughter. She wasn't making much eye contact with me. She kept looking around the room and at the ground and smiling.

When I asked if she wanted to hang out sometime, that's when she said "sure" really awkwardly. And then it seemed that we both kind of avoided each other for the rest of the gathering.

OP here, I may as well ask for some performance review, here's how it went down.

This girl was in a club with me for years at school. I don't know her well, but she seems interesting and fun, and I enjoyed the interactions I've had with her thus far.
She was standing alone on her phone when in a rush of courage I walked up to her and asked if I could ask her something after club. She giggled and just asked "what are you going to ask me?". I simply stated "i'd like to ask you on a date." She replied "You'd like to ask ME on a date?" As if in disbelief. Then, she asked for my number. She said she would text me, and I went and talked with another friend of mine. I saw her smiling at me from a ways away later.

It wasn't my best performance. What do you guys think?

>>18340728
I can't tell you for sure anon, I wasn't there.

The way you describe it, here is how it sounds:

The girl was playing you(or maybe it was just in your head), her and your friends noticed that you were interested and decided to play a joke on you(really this is the oldest trick).
After she realized how she made you feel, she decided to be distant and not look at you anymore so that you understand she is not interested.


Many times I found myself in the same situation as you.
The one time I decided to attempt something, it turned out she wasn't interested.

You should know, that contrary to what many people say, is that a girl starring at you may not necesarily mean she is interested, some bitches even do it because they know you're easy.

The only way to be really sure what she is up to, is to go talk to her.

If while you talked to her you noticed she wasn't interested or didn't make a lot of eye contact with you, then she chances are she is not interested.

But again, this is just how you're describing it, there is only a small chance this girl is actually interested in you.
It's up to you to make a decision at this point.
If that friend is really your friend, then ask him to be honest about it, or how was it that she asked to meet you.
>I was really nervous talking to her. Not sure how noticeable it was

Very noticeable, trust me.

>She almost looked like she was holding in laughter.

Fuck her, if this is true then forget about her right now bro<

Tell me more, how did things get awkward real quick?
How old are you and she?


One advice I can give you, is to not ask about her, talk a lot about it to others, or not show it bothers you in any way.

If that girl is interested and doesn't do more at this point to talk to you or make you notice her, then she is not worth it.

>>18340779

Sorry, it's a bit late and I'm getting sleepy, gonna rephrase at least the advice:

Don't ask about her to others, don't talk about it, and don't show it bothers you.

I wish I could tell you more to help, but I don't want to kill your chances.

>>18340774
There is no clear way to tell.
Did she text you since? When did that happen?


>What do you guys think

That you nailed it, but it doesn't mean or say anything about her.
With that kind of confidence I don't think you will have any problem anyway.

>She smiled at me

Either find you funny, or finds you cute.

No way to tell, wait for her to text you or text her back yourself.

>>18340779
This was like 2 years ago. I never see her or those people anymore.

Here are a more clear details. It was actually when I was at work (fast food type place), a coworker/friend of mine came in on his day off to get some food. This girl that was with him was waiting in the car. I saw her looking at me a lot when she was outside. She then came in and started getting close to the counter, and looking at me more. I noticed it but paid no attention to it and kept doing my job. I look pretty confident when I'm working, but I'm not confident in social situations, especially not talking to girls.

Anyway, a couple minutes later my coworker/friend is sitting at a table with the chick. He calls my name. I respond. He says, "This is (girl's name), she wants to meet you". And my friend looked really annoyed. Like mad that this chick was asking about other guys.

I basically went full panic mode. I started talking real fast and my body language went from confident to absolute shit. I said something along the lines of "Uh, well I'm a bit busy right now but I'll talk to you later outside if you want?" along with a bunch of other stupid stuff. (I am cringing as I write this). She looked at my friend (they were both kind of smirking) and that's when she said "sure" really awkwardly.

Later, when I was cleaning off tables and my friend was in the bathroom I made some really brief small talk with her (it was probably less than 20 seconds), still nervous as hell. That's when she was just smiling and looking around and at the ground. And I ended it abruptly and went back to work when a customer came in.

End of story. I never brought it up with anybody and no one ever brought it up with me. The chick did come in one more time with him but she seemed to avoid me and I avoided her.

Honestly, I really believe that she was interested in me (because I am good looking) but she probably lost interest in me within seconds when she saw how nervous and awkward I got.

>>18340779
>>18340815

And yes, I know what you mean by a girl and her friends "playing" you, because I've been there before as well.

But this didn't seem that way. This seemed like she was interested by my looks, but when she saw my socially anxious, autistic personality she wanted to run for the exit.

>>18340815
Ok.

So either your lack of confidence or clumsiness made her lose interest.
Or she wanted to have fun and play a joke on you with her friend.

With what you're saying now it sounds more like you turned her off.

But if I were you I wouldn't mind it too much, it just means that she wasn't that interested in you.

If a girl is truly interested, then she wouldn't just stop because you're not confident when she is around and would understand how you feel.
If she was crushing just because you look good, then she is doing you a favor, this is a girl you don't want to date.


If this was 2 years ago, why not forget about it?
At least now you understand that if you're not good at social interactions there is a simple rule : make it brief and short.

If she doesn't help you talking or stick with you, then she is not worth it.

>>18340830
I have largely forgot about it. This thread just reminded me of it.

What really bothers me is the idea of other people hearing about it, and making fun of me and thinking less of me. That's happened to me before and it sucks.

There is really no bigger blow to a man's ego than being a failure when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. Especially for me since I'm good looking, but I'm too insecure to put my potential to use.

>>18340840
What the fuck man?
Why would you care what people think of you if you are confident about youself and how you look?

>Thinking less of me

Think less of you because you asked her on a date?

Fuck them man, these people are no good to you if they see you badly because of it.

I have seen coworkers and friends getting turned down worse than you, I didn't disrespect them for that matter.

>>18340846
Thanks, I appreciate your advice.

I think most people are cool about it. But every once in a while there is some asshole who's going to give you shit.

One time I had a coworker give me shit about chickening out of a cold approach. He seemed to always disrespect me after that. Maybe it was just in my head and he was a bit of a dick to everybody.

>>18340859
>One time I had a coworker give me shit about chickening out of a cold approach
it depends what you consider give you shit.
If he was just busting your balls don't show it bothers you and pay him no mind.

> He seemed to always disrespect me after that.


It's possible, but you shouldn't let it bother you.

The only way people will look down on you for it is if you show it bothered you or that you felt weak.

>>18340863
Yeah I ignored the guy for a while.

Then one day when he was being a jerk to me, I turned to him and stared him down like I was about ready to rip his face off. Really uncommon for me, because I'm usually a nice guy. He literally ran away and started being cool with me again after that.

The guy was way smaller than me too. No way am I going to let someone 50 pounds lighter than me bully me.

Life is a long ass fumbling walk. Nobody knows what they are doing and they are constantly just being pushed forward by shit beyond their control.

So you just try and steer towards shit that seems good. It might turn out to be shit or you might get it or whatever, but either way you'll keep getting pushed forward and they'll be more shit to stumble through.

Try and relax, so you can enjoy the act of falling.Just make sure you keep also reaching for good shit now and then.

>>18340872
lmao what a fag.
Sounds more like he was insecure as fuck and tried to throw it on you as he felt you were weak.

It's good you faced him.

A faggot like this deserves no respect.

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hijacking this thread with no survivors

should I ask this girl out? coworker btw.

she's pretty touchy, but I figure that's her personality. plenty of eye contact, laughing, but I've learned not to mistake that for attraction. anyways there's some things I like to overanalyze and need an unbiased opinion on:

>first
>burned my wrist on oven door while retrieving a pork roast
>next day she asked what it was
>tell her I was getting a roast out of the oven
>she looks directly at me and says 'ooh I want some roast'
>stutter and change topic

>second
>we both attempt to catch something that she threw at me
>our hands end up meeting in midair, fingers clumsily intertwined
>she stops and says 'whoa, are you trying to hold my hand'
>say nothing and take my hand away (mostly because there was another dude there)
>I look at her and she's giggling and very very red

so is she hinting or is she autistic or am I autistic

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>>18341165
does she act flirtatious with other people too?

if she does, wait a while and try to feel the situation out.

if she only seems to act flirtatious with you, then go for it I would say.

>>18341165
>second
clear giveaway imo if she was actually blushing and you didn't just imagine it. that scene sounds really cute by the way.

it's worth a shot anon, honestly. if you have fun with her, are happy when you're around her, and is a nice person, then yeah, why not?

But. Make sure you are too. Worst part would be if you were the bad guy, so don't be the bad guy.

>>18341204

well she talks to other guys at work and stuff, but I haven't seen her be flirty. at least not when I'm there, and I'm not there often since I'm usually on the other side of the store

>>18341248

she's very pale so even slight blush would be noticeable. but she was very red.

she's a very cute girl in general. short, light skin, very pretty light brown eyes. she likes drawing on my hands too.