How do I stop feeling like the worst teacher in the world?

That's pretty bad, what was wrong with you

>>18340164
The girl sounds like a winny snowflake that didn't want to salve her own problems and now is propetuating her victim hood by blaming you. Was the girl being physically hurt by this other kid, unless it was really serious she should have tried to get over it herself

try not getting hung up on the emotions of teenagers retard

If you're still a teacher, vow to change your attitude. You are in a position of responsibility and someone insecure people with growing pains can fall back on. That asks for more involvement (if necessary) than just teaching whatever subject you give.

>>18340164
It wasn't your responsibility to intervene in a social situation like that unless it was getting violent or physical. Literally, anything you could've said to the bully wouldn't have changed anything, and more likely made it worse for her socially.

She can blame you for not doing more, but ultimately she's likely more angry at herself deep down that she didn't grab the nerve to change anything.

Best you can do is take it on board and give some guidance on how to deal with bullying with the next student who comes to talk to you.

>>18340164
>How do I cope with the guilt?
Own up to it and don't turn a blind eye to it the next time it happens.

Honestly, for a teacher to ignore bullying, especially in today's age of awareness of its harms, I wish she had told someone else and gotten you fired or at least punished in some way. I mean that sincerely.

>>18340182
Yep, tired of SJW snowflakes blaming everyone else for their problems and why they're now fat and have "social anxiety" etc. It's unfortunate when kids decide to pick on someone for no reason, but at least the someone will learn something about the real world. I don't think there's anything a teacher can do to improve the situation. It can be a shitty world, don't hide that. This is assuming there was little/no physical ever.

>>18340204
How is she blaming OP for her problems just by pointing out that it was a very negative experience for her to reach out for support only to get none?

It doesn't even matter whether or not OP could've realistically done anything. It was probably a big step for her to reach out for help to a teacher, only to basically get told tough shit, you're on your own.

Is the idea that a teacher plays a role in the psychological development of students beyond just being a human text book that odd? It certainly is not historically speaking.

>>18340203
>>18340218
You honestly think anything a teacher could say is going to suddenly make a bully think about what they're doing and stop? Best they could do is maybe give them detention if it keeps happening, but the reason for the bullying is still going to be there.

Smarter thing would be to give the bullied kid guidance on how to deal with it. School is a fucking jungle dude, nothing the teachers say to bullies will change the social dynamics of kids growing up - best they can do is teach the right behaviour and let them get it right themselves.

>>18340164
Don't feel bad I think you did the right thing
people need to get bullied it makes them grow
strong and they will have better social skills in the
future. You taught her that sometimes no one
is going to step in to save you and that you
need to deal with things yourself. I commend you and her growth is shown by her standing up to you. She may not like you for it but you helped her.

>>18340227
Of course an admonishing wouldn't change anything, but that's why discipline exists in ladders. It's all in the student handbook every student, including the bullies signed at the start of each year.

If it goes on after an admonishing, detention. if still, suspension. If still, expulsion. Bullies usually eventually understand punishment, or at least their parents will if they care about their child's education.

>>18340228
>people need to get bullied it makes them grow
And you're just disgusting.

>>18340164
If that happens again in the future don't do that. She wasn't coming to you for advice or because she wanted you to handle her problem for her, she was reporting abuse to an authority figure. If one of your friends told you her boyfriend was beating her you wouldn't tell her it was her responsibility to save herself.

>>18340238
And I'm telling you, discipline will only go so far. It might give a temporary reprieve, it might even get that one bully to stay away, but it's not going to help them get better at making friends or teach them how to stand up for themselves.
The root of the problem is their developing social skills, and while >>18340228 might sound a bit harsh and callous, but there is at least one point in there in that people need to face bad situations in order to grow.
I DISAGREE that people need to bullied in order to do so, but teacher stepping in and fixing the problem is a short-term solution for a long-term problem at that stage.

>>18340238
>or at least their parents will if they care about their child's education.
I'll give you 3 guesses where the problem is

>>18340227
I actually mentioned in my post that it's less about whether or not OP could've done anything and more about the support and message they send by just letting a kid wrestle with this stuff on their own after they reached out for support - which most teens don't do easily.

Even something like guidance at least would've shown involvement. OP's answer pretty much sounds like "not my problem", which is pretty brutral for someone you just trusted to maybe have your back in a situation you're not handling well.

>>18340254
The solution can (and should) be two-fold. One is removing the source of the problem - the bully(s) which is short term. Two is getting the student in touch with the guidance counselor or school psychologist. Every school (at least public as far as I know) will have at access to 1 SP and at least 1 GC.

Nothing I have said now contradicts my earlier post.

>>18340265
Caring about your child's conduct and their grades might be 2 different things. I came from a nice suburb that graduated 41 valedictorians from my class, and there was still bullying at school.

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>>18340254

>The root of the problem is their developing social skills

So wait... the root of the problem is that the people being bullied don't have developed enough social skills to convince people not to bully them?

You do know there is a definite distinction between learning conflict resolution skills and being mercilessly physically and emotionally harassed by people every day or your life, right? You don't honestly think that getting beat up, spit on and insulted by people more physically powerful than you is a learning experience do you?

You do realize that outside of the context of school, excessively physically and verbally harassing someone is a prosecutable crime, right? Do you have the same suggestion for adults? Next time one of your ex-boyfriend's comes over to your house and threatens to kill you if you see another guy just use your "social skills" to learn and grow from it? Next time someone corners you in an alley behind a bar and threatens you for looking at their girlfriend, don't call the police because that's just a "temporary reprieve"?

Are you sure you thought out your response well enough?

>>18340227
It's not about being able to stop it. It was about supporting someone who literally came to you for help. Instead, you left her feeling alone when she saw you as the authority figure. Honestly, that's pretty fucked up and low of you, but you can't help it if you're not a leader I guess.

It's sad that someone like you became a teacher though.

>>18340364
>It's sad that someone like you became a teacher though.

No.

>>18340164
You are a horrible teacher. In your classroom, your word is law. But you allowed one, I'm sure many, of your students to be accosted, bullied and probably even physically assaulted. I'd say that you are the pussy afraid of the bullies. Don't worry there are plenty of asshole teachers out there just like you.

>>18340164
The system has failed everyone - take your paycheck and build a bomb shelter

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>>18340227
>Bullies are bullies so might as well let them keep on bullying

Former bully here. Are you fucking retarded? The duties of a teacher aren't just to teach but to be caretakers for the kids. This includes protecting them from attack and disciplining them when they act like cunts. Obviously they can't intervene in every situation at all times, but when a kid comes right out and says, "I'm being bullied, help me," saying, "Deal with it, nerd," isn't an appropriate fucking response. If you hired a baby-sitter and came back home to find one of your kids beating the shit out of another of your kids would you find, "I'm just letting them work it out themselves," a valid explanation, or would you slap that bitch silly? Even just throwing a bully in detention, whilst it doesn't automatically fix their shitty personality flaws it will at least teach them that fucking with the other kids leads to punishment. And you can sit those lil niggas down and try to discover the reason they're assholes and go about trying to resolve it too, rather than just expecting witless, retarded teenagers who don't shit about anything to just get it right themselves. There's a reason ghetto and redneck communities mass produce drains on society and the reason is that exact mentality, and I'm not saying you need to give extra special attention to teaching kids how to behave because they're wonderful little snowflakes, but because they're complete fucking idiots who will ruin everything if left to their own devices.

>>18340164
Being told to ignore bullies is good advice for people who already have a strong sense of self. When kids tell you about their problems they don't necessarily expect you to magically fix everything however the least you can do is show them that you care. This girl didn't and she remembers you as someone she chose to trust who then turned their back on her. I'd be salty too if I was her.

>>18340362
>>18341141
>You do know there is a definite distinction between learning conflict resolution skills and being mercilessly physically and emotionally harassed by people every day or your life, right?
The teachers should and do intervene if it's getting physical, violent or even just straight up verbal abuse with the bullying.

What I'm saying is that they can't just tell a bully to 'stop being mean! >:(' just like that. In real life there's no law saying someone has to like you.

The social side of things was never in teachers' hands, so the most they can do at that age is give decent advice and guidance for kids who don't know what the fuck they're doing (which OP didn't do, and I'm not disputing).

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>>18341535

>In real life there's no law saying someone has to like you.

In real life there is laws against physically and verbally harassing people. Not liking someone has nothing to do with it.

Yes, a teacher cannot completely control the social hierarchy or children but if you're going to play the advocate of "bullied children need to learn that life is hard sometimes" then the opposite side of that coin is "bullies need to learn that being a fucking asshole has consequences".

The point is not to tell a bully to "stop being mean", the point is to sit this little shit-stain down and let him know that in the real world, physically and verbally attacking people comes jail time and that if he wants to continue to enjoy the privileges of coming to school, socializing with his friends and enjoying extra curricular activities he better figure his shit out before he finds himself expelled.

I just don't enjoy that you put the burden of responsibility on the people being bullied and not on the faculty of the school to foster an environment in which shitty, violent kids aren't allowed to prosper.

>>18341577
I literally wasn't disagreeing, but the burden is on both parties to be honest.

Bullied kids need to know that they're not alone and that they don't have to take shit, teachers need to show them that and stop any straight up abuse from bullies (which I feel like they already do with current disciplinary measures, in my opinion).

I was bullied throughout most of my school career. My teachers and my parents brushed it off and even denied it right in front of my face. I remember a group of boys were making fun of me during Sophomore year and I told my teacher and she said I had a "victim complex". It really hurt.
Tbh I didn't do anything wrong to deserve it, I was just a very socially awkward depressed kid who grew up in a dysfunctional household & people sensed that and made my life hell because of it.

I'm the opposite of what I was and I'm still changing. I feel more confident and disciplined but I'm just a vacant shell these days. I use people and I have became the bully. I know I'm just going to turn out worse desu

>>18341535
>In real life there's no law saying someone has to like you.
Not liking someone isn't the same as bullying, Anon. Bullying is targeted abuse, verbal or physical, and there are laws against that.
>the most they can do at that age is give decent advice and guidance
And make sure the bullies are punished for the bullying. Holy fuck nigger, aside from teaching subjects one of the main purposes of school is to prepare the little faggots for the big adult world they'll be going into, and one of those preparations is, "If you break the rules you get punished," so that when the little faggots go out into the real world they aren't hauled off to jail within a year or two.
>>18341601
>Bullied kids need to know that they're not alone and that they don't have to take shit, teachers need to show them that and stop any straight up abuse from bullies (which I feel like they already do with current disciplinary measures, in my opinion).
Aside from the fact that in the case we're discussing, OP's, he outright admits to not doing that and letting the bullied kid know she was alone, which is exactly why he's feeling guilty and people are calling him a fucking faggot in the first place.

>>18340202
eh, teachers have a duty of care.

without getting into safe safe/trigger warning territory, bullying is reprehensible and punishable according to school rules and so on.\

so teacher is responsible for not taking it further.

>>18340164
>I do remember that a student of mine was bullying her and how she came up to ask for my help, but I told her it was her own responsibility to stop the bullying or just get over it.

>How do I stop feeling like the worst teacher in the world?

You don't.