How weird would it be to message a girl on Facebook that you

I give you about a 90% chance of making it extremely fucking weird, OP.

Also, when I was 20, I found this girl from high school on Myspace (yeah, that long ago). I e-mailed her to say hey. She was REALLY weirded out. REALLY weirded out.

>>18338291
Depends on the question. You asking "hey how've you been?" and reaching out because you need a friend and she was nice to you back then? That's innocent enough. Don't take it personally if she blows you off or is creeped out or became a bitch though. Over a decade is a long time - I don't even remember my faculty from 7th grade, let alone the kids.
Anything about dating/love/marital status/etc.? Absolutely not.
Checking in on her because you're worried? Always a noble and ethical gesture. You could save a life, just don't think that reaching out to her makes her wellbeing your personal responsibility.

>>18338306
>Depends on the question. You asking "hey how've you been?" and reaching out because you need a friend and she was nice to you back then? That's innocent enough. Don't take it personally if she blows you off or is creeped out or became a bitch though. Over a decade is a long time - I don't even remember my faculty from 7th grade, let alone the kids.

Roughly this. Just saying, though, OP, it doesn't take much to make it really fucking weird.

>>18338306
Well it was a private school and there was only like 5 people in my 7th grade class. We used to talk on AIM and the phone all the time back then. Basically I'm a fucking forever alone loser and she was the closest I ever came to have a gf. I literally cannot stop thinking about her and I just want to know if she remembers me and if she felt the same way back then. I need confirmation of whether or not my mom ruined my life when she yanked me out of that school.

I imagine asking her these things would be pretty weird.

>>18338318
>I need confirmation of whether or not my mom ruined my life when she yanked me out of that school.

ABORT. ABORT. ABORT.

OP, I had a girlfriend in the 7th grade. Except we never went out anywhere. And we never talked about it again after she "became my GF".

Even if she was willing to be a childhood GF to you, it would not have made or broken your life to experience that. I went a full fifteen years before touching a girl after that. It made zero difference.

>>18338330
>it would not have made or broken your life

Well I disagree this did break my life. 7th grade was the last time I had any friends and like I said she was the closest I ever got to getting a gf. I know it's fucking pathetic to think about a girl from fucking when I was 12-13 years old but when you're 25 and never had a gf you can't help it. What if something would have come of it? It was a tiny private school that went up to 10th grade who knows what would have happened in those 3 years I was robbed of?

>>18338354
> 7th grade was the last time I had any friends and like I said she was the closest I ever got to getting a gf.
No she wasn't. You were children. It's fun to think of girls you crushed on as a child sometimes, but to read more into it than that is unhealthy. I could start a real complex if I were to think about the brown-haired, pigtailed, freckled girl I liked in my tiny Catholic fifth grade class. And my parents pulled me out of there before I really got to act on it. But what if! I could've had children by now!

OP, there's no sense in focusing on what could've been. Focus on what was successful in the past, what is now, and what can be in the future. Ruminating on missed opportunities and being indecisive is likely why you claim not to have any friends now.

If you talk to this girl, you will turn that beautiful childhood memory of friendship into a twisted disappointment.

>>18338318
>>18338330
>>18338354

Oh, man... OP, you have nothing to gain from doing this to yourself. No answer will satisfy you. The fact that her life took a different course than yours will fill you with resentment, make you think she never cared about you, when in reality it's just the nature of humans is to gently stop lingering on people from their past, even those they were compassionate towards. You would go insane if you were riddled with worry for every single one of the tens of hundreds of people you get to know over a lifetime.

Even if your mother is responsible for your life situation from that one decision, it will not help you get out of it to know that. You don't a medical history when they're bleeding out on the battlefield.

I want you to be ok man. Do yourself a huge favor and look forwards, not back.

>>18338354
>you can't help it

Wrong.

You're just wallowing in self pity, and there is zero chance approaching her whilst in that state would lead to anything positive. Do you think people *do* pity fucks or pity relationships for that matter?

If you must contact her, get the hell out of your pit first. Tho then you'll find you don't need the contact, but anyway.

>>18338370
>>18338380
Listen to this OP. Take that memory and cherish it instead of making a Frankenstein's monster out of it.

DON'T DO IT OP
instead youtube the channel alpha m.
His videos are great for guys who suck with girls

>>18338390
Meh, I'm not wallowing in self pity. I'm taking steps to improve myself right now it's just going to take a couple years. But you guys are right. Even if I did message her and she responded positively I'm not good enough for her right now anyway. I need to go back to school and make something of myself.

>>18338407
Yikes. Just, really, OP... stop. Do not, and I mean DO NOT, make this into you transforming yourself into a better person for her sake. You cannot use this girl or your memory of her as a totem or idol to shape your life around. It does not work like that.

It's hard as fuck to do, but you need to believe in yourself, and better yourself because you deserve it. Find people who are good for you because you deserve such people.

>>18338418
Ok despite how that sounded I am doing it for myself. I'm not good enough for anybody right now.

>>18338418
Eh, if it gets the ball moving I don't see the problem with it. So long as OP has the wits to let the fantasy go when the time comes, which perhaps is the big ask.

>>18338423
I have faith in you OP. You deserve to love yourself.

>>18338435
>So long as OP has the wits to let the fantasy go
That's the problem in my experience. Either the fantasy doesn't die when it needs to die, or the emotions build up until they explode and you go and contact the girl anyway and make it super weird.

>>18338423
Good man. Pretty much no matter how bad you are, you're at most six months away from being relatively normal.

This is exactly how some girl from elementary I didn't even remember existed became my girlfriend for over a year.

>>18339338
Now you're making me want to message her again.

If you do message her OP, understand that it's been a decade. She may not be the person you remember her to be. You are in love with the memory of her, not the actual person you're in love with. I had a oneitis for years and I need to remind myself that she is not the same person. She might have remembered you, she might have shared the same feelings. It's also very likely that she has moved on. You can't beat yourself up over the chance you had, you should look for other women instead. I want you to ask yourself what it is you like about her, not the memory of her, her right now. If you cannot stop yourself from talking to her start over. Don't expect to pick up where you left off. Let her know you are doing well, if you are a fuck up don't bother please don't talk to her PLEASE.