How to get my dad to come out of the closet

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>>18334923
>You might be wondering why we don't just let him be.The truth is we don't really care, but this has had a negative impact on our mom's mental state and it's getting worse with every passing day. Quite frankly we think it'd be better if he could be honest about it so they can both go their separate ways and start seeing new people.
Sounds to me you should be speaking with your mom not your dad. It's her decision if this is a deal breaker for her or not.

>>18334930
Thanks for the reply.

We've never actually spoken to her about it. We just assumed she couldn't leave him (For some legal reason maybe).
Also, we figured that if she was free to divorce him at any time she would have probably done it by now.
We can tell that his preferences are what's getting to her. Maybe she just needs to see him admit it.

We're also afraid that us talking to her about it might trigger a breakdown.

You're right though. We'll probably have to end up asking her at some point.

In the meantime I'd like to know if there are any other ideas.

>>18334958
Poor mom. Married to dude who wasnt even sexually attracted to het in the first place. Just spawned few babies with her and now she is locked in house with ungrateful kids, sexless marriage and her husband rather watch porn than sex her up.

Reading stories like this always make me sad. She isnt dumb op. She has to know this. The fact is, she maybe hope you (her children) dont know yet.

This is what happens when people lie. It worsen lives everybody around them.

Talk to your mom, but i bet there is nothing you can do. You all know about it and thats that. Maybe open marriage?

Cheating could push your dad into rage and maybe divorce. If you think it is worth it.

>>18335024
>Married to dude who wasnt even sexually attracted to het in the first place. Just spawned few babies with her and now she is locked in house with ungrateful kids, sexless marriage and her husband rather watch porn than sex her up.

What if they used to be happy? I mean obviously he could get hard inside her. Most old couple don't have sex anyway.

>>18335030
>happy
Your mom migh was happy once. When she was young and inexperienced, so she though his behavior was normal, that maybe not all boys need so often. Then she had to slowly realize that her husband was lier the whole time. Sure the pain from realization was so bad she tried to resist logic and lie to herself that everything is normal, but as years passed, she realized it and as a result she started to hate herself and your dad as well. Now she just put up on act and live next to your dad. And keep the marriage going, because divorce would destroy her social life even more.

She is probably anything but happy.

And yoir dad has it even worse. Probably from uptight upbringing, scared to be from norm. All gay boys realize very soon they are different from norm. I bet before 18 he knew it for sure. And ever since he wakes up in the morning and wish he was normal. I bet he thinks about himself as a monster. So to not go crazy, he picked some girl to prove whole world and himself that he is normal. And ofc he hates gays more than anything.

Imagine torturing yourself like that when there are people who lives his dream. Openly admitting what they are, and actually enjoy sexing up their partners and now are even socially accepted.

>couple dont have sex anyway
Not just old couples. Some boys are never happy in monogamy. Lose interest in wife and either cheat, or are sexually frustrated. Many people are dumb to keep the relationship going. They take the partber for granted and it kills all the good feelings. But after they have kids, they stick to it and suffer silently. That is the norm.

And moat girls use pregnancy as an excuse to turn super fat. Then they realize they dont attract husband anynore and grow up hating them and themselves even more.

Shame that even you find it as norm. You most likely cant save your parents, but you can at least learn fron their mistakes.
The moment you let the intimacy die in relationship, the happy part is over.
Stay strong!

>>18335054
Thank you for your posts.
That comment you replied to was posted by another thread participant though. I'd rather not think about the bedroom stuff.

Anyway, since you're the 2nd person to suggest it I guess we'll just go ahead and talk to our mom. Thanks again.

>>18334923
My father in law is the same op. 99.9% chance he's gay. His wife passed five years ago, and he's a completly different person now, much less serious, much more vain, and is always hanging out with friends who, different than him, are full blown out faggots.

I actually asked for advice on this before, and most people advices that it was better to just leave it be, most of them gays themselves. However, I do know what your mother is going through, because my mother in law was clearly alwas miserable and bitter towards him without any clear reason.

Since you and your siblings are apparently sure about that, I think the best is to talk to your mother first. She most likely already knows he swings that way. Try to do it as carefully as possible and when your dad is alway for a few hours. I think for a woman, the worst part is not only being traded by men, but the fear and shame of letting it out. Maybe if you reassure her it's fine, it will take some weight out of her shoulders.

>>18335096
Honestly i cant imagine such conversation going. Like what will you tell her?
>mom, our dad is gay!
She is female, she might just deny it, scream at you, do absolutely crazy stuff and deep down she will think opposite.

I am not even sure how my post helped you. I really just hope you will end up in happier marrige than your parents. That you will be clever and never let the sex part and intimacy disappear and never take your partner for granted.

What will you tell her? What can you actually tell her to make her feel better?

I am just curious. I wouldnt have balls for something like this.

>>18335103
Sorry to hear that, anon. It really sucks when stuff like this happens.
We'll try and be as tactful as possible when talking to our own mom. Hopefully things will go well.

>>18335127
Honestly, I've no idea what I'm going to say to her.
I'm pretty sure she knows as well but, like you said, she might still become upset and try to deny it.
I just know it's not doing them any good to remain married. Although I'd say my mom is getting the worst of it. I just don't want this to go further down and have it end badly.

Maybe I'm being optimistic but I still think that if we could just get him to admit it she'd probably get over the whole thing eventually.

I think he's putting her in a very difficult spot by claiming that he's straight. If she divorced him she'd probably have to tell everyone why and if he continued denying it he'd be calling her a liar.

>>18335164
>to tell why
No really. You can do divorce without laywers and shame. All it takes it to both parties agree to it and forge plans how to split money and responcibilities. Hell they can even keep living together until one of them or both find a new partner to live with.

But i bet all on your dad fighting furiously to the end to keep his hetero image intact. But i bet he would fuck some twink found on grinder in minutes if he could.
>tell your dad to try grinder?
Maybe once some dude will try to hit on him, he might change his attitude towards it.

>>18335189
Oh, I didn't mean her telling some lawyer or anything. I meant our family.
Obvious as it may be to everyone I figure she'd still tell us (Her kids) and her own immediate family.
Even though we all know she's in the right I think it'd still suck for her to be called a liar by the guy she married.

I'm pretty sure my dad would run off with any guy in a heartbeat. I think the only thing keeping him is that he's convinced no one knows about if his preferences.

Anyway, I still haven't thought of a single thing to say my mom. What do you think would be a good way to start the conversation with her?

>>18335213
Dont forget you are talking to coward. I wouldnt be able to do it. My best idea is
>dad is gay

I dont think trying to find more acceptable words and phrases will do any good. And bring a vitnesses with you (your sisters and others who saw his gay porn) and maybe printed history of his browser.

But again i am coward, i would never do this. I would let them suffer silently :-(

>>18335243
Well I'm gonna get some sleep and hope I come with something tomorrow.
Thanks for discussing the matter with me.

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>>18335256
Sleep tight doggo.

>>18334923
Maybe he's just bicourious or bisexual. I hate gays, and i fapped to gay stuff a few times, i still prefer women a lot more and i date only women.
You know, it's like when you watch an horror movie, just because you enjoy to watch someone killing someone that doesn't make you a murderer.

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>>18334923
When you confront someone, if they see nothing to gain from telling the truth, they will not.

The porn he leaves visible is some of it gay?

>>18334923

ha ving him come out wont stop him from leaving his porn laying about.

he could be bisexual and not want to leave your mom.

if your mom wants to leave him its her job to do it, not his.

all you can control is your own actions, and encourage other people, including your mother, to control her own, instead of expecting your self hating homo of a father to come to terms iwth it and fix all the issues.

>>18334923
Ya, or you could just mind your own business and stop tring to start shit.