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Adv on leaving long term relationship?

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I'm early 20's living with my bf of almost 5 yrs. I put in more effort than he does, I'm actually a great girlfriend. I pay attention to his hobbies, do random surprises and all I get is shit in return. What pisses me off the most is I can do way better but sometimes I just have too low of self esteem. How do I go about and leave? There's no one's couch I can stay on so if go I literally have to have a place lined right up but I don't know if I could afford living on my own or live through the loneliness even.
>>
Can't you resol e this through proper communication? Surely in 5 years, you've managed to find ways to compromise and resolve...what's so damning that makes you want to call quits now?
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>>18331905
Have you tried couples therapy or is he just a lost cause?
If you really want to move out it might have to be a long process. Set aside as much as you can from your paycheck each time you get paid, save this up for a first and lasts months rent so you can leave. If you do decide to try working it out through therapy or just giving him another chance don't stop staving your money every paycheck through it. This is what married women do who plan on leaving, you're honestly no different if you live together. I think that every woman should put aside money for self emergencies like this, it's too easy to get stuck with an unfit man for financial reasons.
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>>18331926
He's physically and mentally abusive sometimes.
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>>18331905
You sound like a basic cunt
>More effort than he does
>acktuwally a great girlfriend
>literally line a place up
>too low self esteem

Your statements are nonspecific which tells me that most likely its some self-delusional mental construct about how things are from your perspective rather than the reality of it. You're trying to create a scenery for your victimhood to take place so you can execute an action that would separate you from dealing with things. I love the fact that you think you can do so much better yet have too low self esteem. Relationships are two way and if you can't support yourself then in essence you're a leech.
>have a place to stay lined up
B-but i could do sooo much better

faggot
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>>18331931
top kek

I love the vagueness of all this. It's just the essence of those things that you're using to paint this picture. It's so brilliantly delusional.
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>>18331931
If he hits you, that's it. You call it quits immediately. That is not acceptable in any relationship. Find a place to go to. There are shelters for abused women, look them up
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>>18331939
And in what way am I a leech? 2 way street of course. That's exactly what I'm not getting back. As for creating a scenery, it's absolutely clear in front of me. Do you think if I wanted to be a victim id be asking for adv on a fucking 4chan thread? Shit I want real advice not some other loser speaking shit to me.
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>>18331905
I would offer to help you out but your prob a meth head.
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>>18331959
Don't reply to salty dudes OP. There will always be guys here who try to knock female posters down.
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>>18331966
Apparently so, isn't that sad? Thanks pal
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>>18331966
whiteknight/femanon
>>18331944
femanon
>>18331929
femanon

>>18331959
>I'm a leech?
You're staying in a relationship because you can't afford to leave and in order for you to get out of it you'll have to have some place lined up that's provided to you for free or in such a way that it doesn't significantly alter responsibility that you have to take for yourself
>Thats what I'm not getting back
No, you're pretending that you're not so you can justify finding some new provider who validates you better
>It's clearly in front of me
I'm glad you know what's in your head
>Do you think...fucking 4chan thread.
yes because very obviously because the source of the validation that you get for your self-delusion doesn't matter so long as it works to help you justify its creation. If anything 4chans the best place because you have no real consequences for posting anonymously thus even less responsibility for yourself.
>I want real advice
leave the relationship and take care of yourself or keep sucking his dick and enjoy the benefits you get from it. either way you're life is ultimately useless and you provide nothing to anyone. especially you're significant other if they can't even be bothered to show you attention and not abuse you.
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>>18331995
You list ppl as femanons, but give the same advice to leave...all you added was assumptions about her money-grubbing. At least give advice on how to leave, regardless of how much of a moocher she may or may not be.
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>>18331995
Don't reply to this dude he obviously hates women. Take my advice and save money until you can move out. Don't tell your boyfriend that you're leaving either since you said he's abusive, he will scare you into staying. Take out a loan if you have to honestly. The longer you stay with an abuser the higher the chances he will threaten your life.
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I pay half the rent and bills + like I said random surprise gifts. Do none of you go out and see something that makes you think "hey my s/o would really love that!"? In fact I make more money than him. The city is an expensive place for 1 person if I don't want to live on hooker ave.
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>>18332019
10/10 best adv thank you. I'm just scared about it all.
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>>18332023
r o o m m a t e s
>Why do I get the feeling that you're making excuses when there shouldn't be any...
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>>18331905
>I put in more effort than he does, I'm actually a great girlfriend. I pay attention to his hobbies, do random surprises and all I get is shit in return

Sounds like you're getting a place to live in return. Also you'd be lonely without him, so he can't be that bad. Your hobby is watching his hobbies... That's sad. And you're not paying half the rent, because you could afford to rent a room of you were.

You sound like a catch OP.
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>>18331944

Don't be so sure about that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XeF6xpvhC_g
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>>18332009
You must be a troll. I hope so at least. No way someone could be this retarded.
>>18332019
>obviously hates women
No, I hate when people are delusional and it just so happens that this time it's a woman. I only pointed the others out as femanons because its hilarious how quickly the majority of women hop on the bandwagon of supporting their girlfriends bullshit without asking them critically to test the validity of their claims.
>protip I'm a girl

>>18332023
>I can do better because right now I pay half the costs of living when i should be paying none because some superhero of a man pays for me
>I won't get out of an abusive relationship because I don't want to live in a poor neighborhood
>i buy gifts for someone who abuses me
seems like he doesn't abuse you that badly

just admit to yourself that you're a whore who wants to hop on a new dick to get better benefits. When I'm in a situation where I'm the victim of something atrocious I get out of it as quickly as possible because I know there is always something better out there for me. I also know that when I actually need help I give evidence to my claims rather than throw vague bullshit at a Venezuelan bracelet making board. You're so full of shit.
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>>18332026
you'll be fine there have been MANY women in your situation who have gotten out, just play it smart. dont tell anyone youre moving out because they might tell him.
>>18332038
you have no idea what OP's situation is, this is an advice forum, not somewhere to blindly criticize people just because you're a salty beta.

>>18332043
again this isnt a place to play critic, OP said she wanted out. Women reply to her without disdain because we know what it's like to be in an abusive and shit situation. Your input isn't needed when OP obviously already feels like shit. You obviously have no idea what its like to be trapped in a financial situation with an abusive man. How are you helping OP by making assumptions that she's a moneygrabbing whore? You're the one throwing vague bullshit around.
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How do you actually leave a long term relationship?

I have grown to no longer be attracted to my gf, I liked her when we started but now all she does is complain and get angry if I go out. I don't have the energy to argue with someone over pointless bullshit, and I don't really want to give up all my free time to do the same shit every day.

There are multiple more attractive girls I could have got with during the relationship but have not out of respect, but now I feel like I have wasted a chance to mix with people I might better gel with.
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>>18332041
Yeah...no
No abuse from either party should be tolerated under any circumstance...funny bit though, thanks for the share.
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>>18332061
Maybe she complained and got angry because she thought you were trying to make yourself available to other girls you thought were more attractive?
I mean most times anger and "complaints" come from somewhere for some logical reason. Girls worry and overthink bruh. And you gave her a reason to.
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>>18332043
Do you find joy in being a sour cunt? I suppose you have to find happiness somewhere.
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>>18332061
>I have grown to no longer be attracted to my gf

Just leave dude, women need to feel desired by their men. You are doing eachother a disservice by staying together.
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Is he supposed to buy you something, or surprise you, at the exact same frequency that you do for him? Is this the magic to being in a relationship? "Oh, she got me a gift last week, I guess I have to buy her ANOTHER gift to keep the equilibrium". Maybe it's not that he's not trying, but you're trying too hard. You've been together 5 years. I think that that point, you're together because you like each other as people.
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>>18332057
This is a cute response that hasn't thoroughly read anything I've said. I think it's also funny that you're throwing up the >...an abusive and shit situation. as some support to take away value from what I've said. I have problems with ops >shit situation because it's not actually that shit. It completely takes away from the validity of the cries from women who are in actually shit situations. It's the essence of victimhood culture. Every woman I've ever talked with who's actually been in a shit situation was absolutely desperate to get out of it. It wasn't like "oh hey i got my SO a gift because I knew they would like it." it was more like "hey I got my SO this so he would be less abusive to me today. That's one example of hundreds I could tell you. OP doesn't feel like shit the way actual victims feel like shit. She just needs a bullshit excuse to get a better man to provide for her. She's another basic bitch.
To quote OP
>I pay attention to my bf's hobbies
>I pay half the rent
>random suprises
she's not in a bad situation.
>he's also abusive to me
the icing on the cake
>>18332075
absolutely.
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>>18332043
> I only pointed the others out as femanons because its hilarious how quickly the majority of women hop on the bandwagon of supporting their girlfriends bullshit without asking them critically to test the validity of their claims.

Every poster that disagrees with you is a woman and they're all laughing at you. I am one too! We're all laughing at you, anon! I can imagine your ugly virgin-loser face just from the way you type!
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>>18332101
did you miss the part where she said she was being emotionally and physically abused? How does this not qualify as a shit situation? If she wanted a better guy to provide for her she could just download tinder and shack up with some desperate beta which is infinitely easier than saving up month-to-month to live on her own. She obviously came here seeking advice to leave on her own NOT to branch swing. Women know that they can easily use a man to get out of a shitty situation by sleeping with them in exchange for housing, she wouldn't post here asking for advice if that's what she wanted. You are just making assumptions that OP wants a better man to provide for her and I'm not even sure what you're basing that on.
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>>18332111
OH NO! I've been found out!
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>>18332120
why is it important for you for OP's story to be 100% valid and proven in your eyes? Why come to an advice forum if you just want to pick apart a story instead of giving actual advice? This isn't a junior detective club.
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>>18331905
>I'm actually a great girlfriend. I pay attention to his hobbies, do random surprises and all I get is shit in return
>I don't know if I could afford living on my own or live through the loneliness even.
One of these things isn't true. Figure out which one it is and go from there.
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>>18332116
>hurr durr I read trp once and it applies to dismantle your argument
You know what, I must have missed the part where she said she was being abused. It's not like I already addressed that or anything. couldn't have since otherwise you wouldn't have called me out for it.
>download tinder and shack up with some desperate beta
OP, I think this anon has advice for you.
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>>18332101
My heart weighs over my brain and I love making other people happy. Thus why gifts etc. It is actually an attempt to make things better as well. I've learned it doesn't work. Therefor here I am. Are you actually dense.
Oh hey look there's just a girl crying abuse! Let's be narrowminded and attempt to tell her shes wrong! Because of course we have a window into her life and absolutely am sure of the facts. There's no such thing as domestic violence unless of course it's only someone I randomly chose to believe.
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>>18332135
I asked you about it again because you seem to think that being abused isn't a qualifier for a woman to leave a shitty situation. I have no idea why you do not consider being emotionally and physically abused as a valid reason for OP to want to leave. It seems like you have some hangups about women if you automatically think a woman trying to escape an abusive situation is trying to dick-jump, especially if she didn't even mention other men.
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>>18332141
>What pisses me off the most is I can do way better
Since you clearly missed that part in the OP.
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>>18332136
I totally understand the gift-giving thing. Abusers usually choose women who act selflessly because they are very easy to manipulate. The guy replying here has no idea what its like to be in a abusive situation as a woman, so he has no way to relate to you. The women here are picking up on your situation because they not only have the empathy to fill your shoes but some of them probably have been in your situation like I have. This guy is making assumptions about you wanting to dick-jump probably because he got burned by a woman doing the same thing to him. The only way a man could really understand this situation would be if he had a lot of natural empathy, this guy obviously isn't like that at all. I would bet that he is the type of man a woman like you would want to get away from. Don't let him make you feel bad or like your situation isn't valid, that's what he's aiming to do because he is a sad little man who spends his fridays scouring fourms to interrogate women in vulnerable positions.
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>>18332146
her acknowledging that she can do better is not indicative of her wanting to dick-jump. She's finally gaining some self esteem and seeing that she doesn't have to stay with a man who doesn't value her. Don't YOU think OP could do better based on her situation? If OP wanted to dick-jump she would of stated it in her post.
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>>18332111
>ugly virgin loser face

Holy fuck women are bad at insults. Most other things too.
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>>18332147
>have vagina
>still be a sad little man who spend his fridays scouring forums...
Try harder please
>>18332136
You're so fake. If your main problem was the abuse you wouldn't have made it your priority to show how you were such a great girlfriend to your boyfriend. That, coupled with my favorite line
>What pisses me off the most is I can do way better
I sincerely don't believe you're in that bad of a situation. Have you ever used the app Glow? have you read the discussions on there from women who are actually victims of abuse. Go check out the community board on Glow. Tell me that you're in as bad a situation as some of the girls on there. Also, you'll notice they give all the information they possible can to receive actually good information. They don't do what you do and post vague statements without substance hoping to justify some bullshit in their head to get out of a relationship they're unsatisfied with. Stop being such a pussy and admit that you're unhappy.
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>>18332165
had fun tonight everybody. OP, seriously though, I meant every word of it. Please just admit that you're a leeching cunt. Also, if anyone was curious, I am actually a girl.
>>18332151
Post a thread faggot, I'll derail yours too.
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>>18332205
But you'll never know which one is mine. :3
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>>18332205
We get it you're a girl who's trying to put down another girl. You already mentioned youre a female. You're one of the "im not like most girls" one's aren't you? You lack the positive traits most females have therefor you think you need to bash them. What are you trying to prove for yourself? You're making yourself into a laughing stock.
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>>18332210
so tell me :)
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>>18332205
I feel like everyone who says "fyi, im a grill 2" is really some fucking faggot named Tyler or something.

fyi imma boi no flame or bully plz
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>>18332205
you're a woman? I thought being a woman hating beta virgin was a bad life to live but being this way as a woman must be even worse. Living life as a non-empathetic woman must have serious disadvantages. Women are supposed to be empathetic to a default. No wonder why you hate other women so much, it's out of jealousy.
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>>18332213
>positive traits most females have
>branch swinging
>unintelligent
>docile
>constant victim card pulling to avoid responsibility
>unwilling to work hard
Curious as to what exactly you would list as a positive trait held by "females"
>>18332219
I agree
>>18332226
vindicating experience more like
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>>18332234
>their cunts
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>>18331995
This post has sparked a derailing argument and I just want to say anyone involved in that argument, male or female, angry or rational, Anon or Tyler, is a fucking disgrace of an /adv/ocate. This thread is about OP's bullshit, not your bullshit. This being said, and to get this back on track, this:
>>I'm a leech?
>You're staying in a relationship because you can't afford to leave and in order for you to get out of it you'll have to have some place lined up that's provided to you for free or in such a way that it doesn't significantly alter responsibility that you have to take for yourself
Is 100% factually accurate.

Your choices right now, OP, are stay with him and stay depressed and hope you can somehow summon the strength in that time to acquire and save up money with which you can plan to leave him and hope he doesn't figure it out, or you can dive in at the deep end and learn how to stand on your own two feet for once in your life. If he's abused you this does make it easier, as there are shelters and charities for victims, and they can help you find your feet. Either way, your choices are caged comfort or difficult freedom. Pick one and make your move.
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>>18332240
Holy shit. I knew that guys name was Tyler.
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>>18331905
I dont get why everyone sides with OP, while she LACKS examples to justify her claim.

This is a tell tale sign of a pity party that is going on in her head, if we were to look at it objectively it wouldnt be that bad at all ...
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>>18332252
in her post she asked what she can do to leave her situation. she didn't come here to get interrogated or have the validity of her situation questioned thats not what advice is. Advice isn't about taking sides. OP wants out of her situation it doesn't matter how good or bad her situation actually is because she wants a change in her life and she's entitled to it because it's her life to live.

OP should either save up money to move out on her own or she should pack all her shit and take her ass to a woman's shelter. I'm not really sure why OP's claims being valid is really relevant, if she's lying about her situation that's on her because she wouldn't be getting applicable advice.
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>>18332255
>because she wouldn't be getting applicable advice
But she is because the goal is to find validation to support leaving her boyfriend while also to convince herself that it's not that hard to do. It doesn't matter if what she says is true or not because unless you call her out like >>18331995
you are being productive to her.
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>>18332252
Either,
1. OP is telling the truth, in which case it's a shitty situation and she should leave it.
2. OP is lying, in which case her poor boyfriend would be better off without having to deal with her neurotic bullshit.

In both of those situations her leaving the relationship as soon as possible is optimal. All else is irrelevant.
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>>18332240
>>18332249
who's Tyler? fight club guy?
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>>18332252
Example 1. We were supposed to spend a week before Christmas at his moms house to dog sit while she was on vacation. 3 of the nights he left me there alone to go drinking with some friends at another house. Ladies included. Lady he went on a date with behind my back included.
Example 2. Told me my family didn't love me and that's why said specific family member committed suicide, because them adopting me was such a burden.
Example 3. One time he grabbed my neck, pulled me to the ground and didn't let go until he left a mark and told me he wanted to kill me, that was two years ago, he's never said he wanted to kill me since, but still.
Example 4. I bought him a Valentine's gift bag of a few fav cds and video games + other little things. He got me a jumbo gas station Valentine's card. Unsigned and blank. Kind of comical isn't it?
There's oh so many more, but there's no point. I'm not a leech I'm just scared shitless. I don't have family or close friend supper for something like this. Maybe I could learn to open up but as most of you have shown it's a pretty touchy this side or that side topic.

But the thing is this was also on and off. When he treated me right he fooled me back into love. Thats the issue.
I don't know why someone seeking advice to generally leave a domestic violent relationship needs to justify with specific examples. Do my bruises need to be compared to the other victim on my right too?
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>>18332261
well there is no reason for OP to tell the truth and feel bad about herself, in fact that applies to all OPs.
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>>18332255
>>18332261
Are you this retarded? Why the fuck doesnt she go to her parents? Its that simple. Why hasnt she thought of such a simple, elegant solution? All she had to do was text him she needed space, get a fucking train ticket to her parents and leave while he was at work ...

>feeding a self-centered retard
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>>18332280
No everyone has parents.
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>>18332280
Wait, I have parents?? Shit if I knew that I would've jumped into my old pink painted bedroom and have my mom serve me breakfast in bed.
Fuck you.
Grandmother adopted me when I was 3. Never knew dad. Mom abandoned me in our basement suite.
Grandmother committed suicide 1 year ago from April.
Again, fuck you
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>>18332285
Damn, girls on /adv/ are broken :((
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>>18332268
Now I believe you. There is so much bs going on on this site, that I am unable to believe someone unless they give solid examples.

The advice:
Do you have trustworthy coworkers or friends? If youd hint you want to get out a bad relationship and have no place to go, chances are that they will let you crash at their place.
If you feel uncomfortable about confronting him with a break up, do it over text. Get your most important belongings to where youre crashing, and in case he wrecks the rest: it can be replaced down the line.
Then try to find a new place to stay with roomies against the loneliness. If youre worried also try to find a new job, so hes unable to track you.
>>
there was a whole 5 minutes between >>18332280
and >>18332268

I'm going to assume >>18332280 didn't have his browser set to auto update and had just been scrolling through without seeing >>18332268 because based on his ability to read i would assume he would have noticed the slight fact that you were adopted.
>>18332268
>>18332285
You sound histrionic. for the sake of argument I'll accept your little examples. Why then are you not a branch swinging whore if you haven't left him because of those awful and i mean awful atrocities he's committed against you?
see >>18332240
could it be because you lack self worth?
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>>18332285
>>18332294
Yes, Im a phoneposter.
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>>18332294
>ex aren't good enough
(Not valid till he actually kills you/ come back then)
>>
>>18332268
It's your fault for repeatedly putting yourself into a potentially harmful and abusive situation.

You've had two years to leave this person.

Someone threatens to murder you and you buy them a present? Does that seem consistent? GO to your parents, family, the police.

Example: 1. It's not abusive to go drinking with his friends. Was it with a lady he once dated, or went on a date with? When he cheated on you, why did you not break up with him you cuck?

Example 2. He told you your family didn't love you and that's why they're dead because adopting you was a burden? That sounds fake.

If it's real, that obviously isn't true and he's only out to hurt your feelings. Why are you buying this man presents?

Example 3. This is domestic abuse. Why did you only think of finding a safe place to live now? And no

Example 4. Buying someone a shitty present is not abuse. It doesn't matter how many more there are if this isn't abusive behavior, it's just shitty boyfriend behavior. Jesus fuck. Don't say he "Fooled you", that takes any responsibility away from your actions and that's why people are being "touchy". Jesus fuck.

Go to the police. A coworkers. A friends. Like, literally anything else is an improvement. Explain what's going on to them. File a police report, get a restraining order. Are you going to wait til he actually does you in?
>>
>>18332298
But even so, if it were all that easy wouldn't it be obvious and I never in this situation in the first place? Auto updating/inability to read or not imo that was just a fucking dumb thing to say, sorry
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>>18332300
1. Went on a date while we were together. When find out he calls me delusional or crazy or I didn't see anything. When it would literally be right on his phone.
2. Not fake. Grandma's dead. Shit sucks. He said it. Sorry it doesn't fit into your black and white family life mould?
3. Scared shitless and alone. No support. Thus here.
*yawn*
4. No I didn't call that abuse. It was the whole giving and receiving 2 way street read way above shit. If he at least wrote in it then whatever, don't tell me that wouldn't hurt you a bit deep down in that little heart of yours.
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>>18332268
OP you need to take a day off work while he's at work to pack your shit and go to an abused womans shelter. I know that it's scary leaving an abusive situation because he's already threatened to kill you. You have a higher risk of being killed if he knows that you are leaving, so dont let him get any ideas. Delete this post from your browser history even. Don't tell your friends where you are going either. Turn GPS off your phone too. By the way, this situation isn't your fault and its not your fault for leaving sooner. Abusive relationships are incredibly difficult to leave unless you have some sort of support system outside of your relationship, you don't have that. You have to leave because your life is statistically at risk. Do NOT let him know you are going. Go as far to make him a nice lunch before he leaves for work so he has no fucking clue you are even thinking of leaving, act like everything is 100% ok. You gotta get out of there ASAP fuck my advice about saving up over time.
>>
>>18332318
You have no old highschool friends, or other friends you can turn to?

Even though they dont know you that well, they might let you stay if you let them know the situation is bad.
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>>18332324
>an abused womans shelter
what kind of food and accommodation do they have there
>>
>>18332305
You're fucking retarded. First off, its not wrong to ask you why not go to your parents. We didn't know they weren't part of the picture although it's easy to imply but based on your vagueness it's easy enough to assume you left your parents to be with this guy and by doing so ostracized yourself and don't want to allow your ego to crumble and go back to them (getting choked and told they want you dead is better lol). But now we know. Also, the more you post the more I realize why it makes sense for someone like yourself to still be with a guy like that. You're just completely retarded. You honestly should stay with him. Obviously you can't take care of yourself.
>>18332318
>don't tell me that wouldn't hurt you a bit deep down in that little heart of yours.
oh look i'm the victim some more and you're the attacker. weak attack. Are you not op?
>>18332324
She's not being abused lol, last time was 2 years ago. Dude over reacted but it's not repeated itself. I've also got to ask, what prompted his attack OP?
>>
>>18332327
I like to keep to myself with things like this. Anon thread unincluded I guess. I've moved a few times and haven't bothered to keep in touch. I hate asking for things, I want to learn how to do this on my own and I don't want people I know to feel like they need to help instead of genuinely wanting to.
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>>18332339
probably why finding a betaprovider doesn't seem as instinctive to you. You just lack the confidence to do it despite not realizing how easy it is since you've been with the same guy for the past almost 5 years. Get tinder, match with guys who are for the most part nerds or unattractive. Use them to stay at their house. You don't even have to sleep with them. They're nice guys haha. They'll do it out of the kindness of their hearts
>>
>>18332318
1. You knew he was lying. Why did you choose to go back to him after knowing he cheated on you? Your lack of self confidence again? You have no problem telling off someone who questions your life decisions.
2. You're making false assumptions, this is why it's hard to feel empathy for you.
3. Are you still in fear of this person? Why did you not leave after he abused you? You've been scared shitless for over two years without anyone else in your life in a position to help you, and you only chose to get help now? How much longer are you going to stay with him?
4. Why does giving and receiving matter, when the person you are dating has threatened to take your life? You shouldn't be considering getting back with this person. Get help. Go to a shelter. Women's shelters are generally nicer than the men's.
>>18332333
>what kind of food and accommodation do they have there
Is staying with an abusive person possibly worth whatever luxuries staying with him could provide?
>>18332339
>I like to keep to myself with things like this.

If someone treats you like human garbage, don't keep it to yourself.

>I hate asking for things

There is nothing wrong with asking someone, even a stranger, to help you out of an abusive situation that nobody deserves to be in.

>I don't want people I know to feel like they need to help instead of genuinely wanting to

If they didn't want to, they wouldn't.
>>
>>18332335
Why am I being shot for seeming like I'm making this shit up and then shot again for proving I'm not?

And it was a fucking example that was so very needed for some reason in this thread because shit posters can't take a word for a truth.
And like I said he's on and off. Why did he do it that specific night? Because I caught him trying to get with another girl. Honestly he could've just left me instead. But I confronted him and he got pissed he got caught.
>>
>>18332347
Tells me to stop making false assumptions but thinks I as op asked what door and accomadtions a women's shelter has. Ok
>>
>>18332350
>Why am I being shot for seeming like I'm making this shit up and then shot again for proving I'm not?

Because you make very poor life decisions that cause people to question whether you legitimately want help.

Generally, people provide facts to back up their statements. On and off is retarded. If you were smart you would have dumped his ass already. Why did you not leave him instead? Forreal, you should not be in this relationship any longer than you need to be. Please do something about this, if you have any questions on how or where, now is the time to ask them.
>>
>>18332356
Yes, making false assumptions isn't going to make anyone want to help you. Try again in English, fuckboy.
>>
>>18332057
>salty beta.

You sure showed me.
>>
>>18332335
>Dude over reacted but it's not repeated itself

OP don't listen to this it's downplaying your situation. A man who will hit you and leave bruises will do it again if you act out of line.
>>18332350
OP you should ditch this forum and go to a female-centric online community because the people here are being unnecessarily cruel. Real women don't blame each other for being victims of domestic violence. You do not have to prove yourself to internet strangers to get advice. Go to a site like babycenter they have forums for domestic violence.
>>
>>18332057
>OP said she wanted out. Women reply to her without disdain because we know what it's like to be in an abusive and shit situation.

Why doesn't OP just rent a room somewhere else if she is in an abusive relationship?

If anything she's abusing her boyfriend taking advantage of his good will giving her somewhere to live.
>>
>>18332371
She would have to save up to pay rent at her current place while also paying for a room somewhere else. OP said she lives in an expensive city. Also, her boyfriend isn't giving her a place to live they are sharing a place to live they pay rent equally.
>>
>>18332356
Hey, that's my bad I couldn't decipher your garbage writing. Making assumptions about someone's worldview is different than not being able to tell who posted an anonymous comment.

If it's OP the point is whatever kind of accommodation and support that they have couldn't possibly outweigh the risks of considering to stay with a so-called abuser if OP is serious about leaving.

And if you're not OP, instead of asking them for information they may not have, you should encourage them to seek out whichever aid is available to them.
>>18332370
>OP don't listen to this it's downplaying your situation.

Pretty much this. If it happens once, that should be the end of that relationship. You should be encouraging her to take responsibility for her poor decisions so she does not repeat them and intends to look out for herself in the future.
>>
>>18332371
Lol this one was weak
>>
>>18332371
It's probably too expensive to live on your own. If she doesn't leave because it's too inconvenient for her then she doesn't feel her life is immediately at risk.
>>
>>18332370
I got a good chunk of adv so thanks to all for that. Seriously it's well appreciated. I'll check those forums out.
>>
>>18332350
do me a favor. I'm that girl who's been shitposting all over your thread this entire time. Go on your phone, make it so that when you get a tinder on facebook it doesn't announce it to all your friends and especially your boyfriend. then once you've done that start matching with as many guys as you feel are attractive enough and sociable enough to not be rapists. then tell them the following "hey, I know i just matched with you but I'm tired of my relationship and need to get out of it. My boyfriend is abusive to me but not in an illegal manner so there is no point in going to the police. I was wondering if you might do me a favor and let me stay at your place for a few days till I've sorted myself out. We can meet in public at a starbucks incase you don't believe me. You shouldn't trust this claim honestly so do meet me at (insert starbucks location). I'll explain everything in person. Just please help me out.

Make sure you post plenty of super cute selfies so they realize you're adorable and probably not a fake account. afterwards meet up with this stranger and stay with him for as long as he'll keep you and repeat. Most guys will help you but keep in mind it's 2017 and people have caught on to internet scams so realize you need to make him feel completely safe. If you make yourself bisexual you can match with women too! the benefit of a man is that you can finally start getting experienced with manipulating men as the resource they are. You've been stuck with the same man for 5 years lol.
>>18332370
go fuck yourself faggot. I'm not downplaying shit. If it's been too years it was obviously a passionate happening and he clearly restrained himself by not murdering the fuck out of her.

also if you end up getting murdered by some stranger it's entirely your fault and you shouldn't listen to a story tell on an imageboard. but seriously men are so easy to manipulate it's stupid. Just look at /r9k/, /adv/, anywhere on the internet. See how docile they are
>>
>>18332381
>If anything she's abusing her boyfriend taking advantage of his good will giving her somewhere to live.

eh, what's wrong with this opinion?
>>
>>18332370
Yes, instead of facing criticism for her actions she must be treated like an irresponsible child. In seriousness she should go to those forums if that's the only place she is willing to listen, maybe then she'll decide to to help herself.
>>
>>18332379
>You should be encouraging her to take responsibility for her poor decisions

shaming her isn't going to help her change her situation. You do not shame children into behaving the way you want them to, so why would you use this approach with adults? We all make mistakes and we were all naive once, making OP feel stupid doesn't help her. If you are rude to someone they are less likely to listen to you, being kind and using tact is much more effective if you want someone to take you seriously.
>>18332388
you're the one criticizing OP for dick jumping and now you're telling her to do it?
>>
>>18332394
I think people should just be honest with themselves.
>>
>>18332391
she did not come here for criticism or to be told that this situation is her fault. she came here for advice, not for people to shit down her throat for making bad decisions. Every human being has made mistakes, I'm sure you have. It's a shitty approach to shame people who are seeking advice.
>>
>>18332394
Questioning why she's made such atrocious decisions is not shaming her. OP is not a child. It's because they are not a child, I'm encouraging her to be responsible and honest with herself, and us, about her situation. If my honesty offends you, I don't know what to do about that.
>>18332398
If she makes poor decisions she should be prepared to be called out for them. I have made mistakes, but I then learned from them so history would not repeat itself.
>>
>>18332402
this is an advice forum not a forum for critics. emphasis should be on giving advice, not bullying OP into proving how shitty her situation is and then fucking with her after she does so. You are being cruel and you know it.
>>
>>18332411
Exactly. That is the purpose behind being critical. It isn't bullying or fucking with her to ask why yes I am haha derailed the thread fuck you llolololol suck dick
>>
>>18332416
low effort faggot
>>
>>18332430
Thank (You).
>>
>>18332416
I'd just like to point out that regardless of whether this Anon's being sincere about his intentions or not, the fact remains that the thread wouldn't have gotten completely derailed if you dumb fucking cunts didn't respond to him.
>>
>>18331905
>I put in more effort than he does, I'm actually a great girlfriend. I pay attention to his hobbies, do random surprises and all I get is shit in return. What pisses me off the most is I can do way better but sometimes I just have too low of self esteem.
lol
>>
>>18332435
>him
her* I haven't grown a penis yet.
>>
Okay... I think I'm just going to try another forum.
>>18332388
That's the opposite of what you just told me...
>>18332388
I shouldn't have to defend myself to you. It's risky placing your trust in a stranger, I could just end up with someone worse.
>>18332416
Seriously? This is really sad. What do you have to gain out of ruining my thread? I came here for advice not any of this shit.
>>18332411
>>18332435
Thanks for everything seriously you've been a big help. I'm going to look into finding another place maybe even a shelter if I have to.
>>
>>18332439
Rule 16, fag.
>>
>>18332435
I'd just like to point out I only showed up after >>18332439 did, you dumb fucking cunt.
>>
>>18332447
It's anonymous and people don't have to hide behind politeness. You are acting like a cunt and people are telling you you are acting like a cunt. What more did you expect? You aren't going to find validation here, which is what I think you are really looking for, not advice.
>>
>>18332447
>I'm going to look into finding another place maybe even a shelter if I have to.
Glad to hear it, Anon. And don't you dare change your mind about this later. Good luck and godspeed.
>>
>>18332452
I'm not even OP she's probably being curb stomped right now lmao. niggerfaggot.
>>18332451
How's that for low effort? I robbed you of your chance to tell off OP and your shitposting is w e a k.
>>
>>18332447
It's not the opposite retard.
>>18332450
>>18332439
I thought we were tag teaming for a little and occupied the same space that is a singular anon. It is hard to distinguish between the writing styles.
>>
Well i feel bad for this guy his Gf is a piece of shit.
Op has no friends of family to move out 2 shes clearly lame. The boyfriend probs want out anyway but feels bad for his loser GF 5 year relationships a long time. My advice to you OP Is just move out find an apartment with flatmates. Dont be a big piece of shit and cheat then leave.
>>
>>18332464
Yeah OP, don't be a big piece of shit.
>>
Hello, I'm new at 4-chan, where can I make questions about Computer? <spoiler>because I need to change win 10 to win 7 and I searched entire google, have no disk, no dvd and need help, comp. is an acer too and 2nd hand.... I have uTorrent. PowerIso & (financial problems)...
>>
>>18332463
I thought so too. Want go out? I promise I'm not mentally ill anymore, and we can even shitpost together.
>>
File: idk.png (5KB, 160x159px) Image search: [Google]
idk.png
5KB, 160x159px
This thread has gotten out of hand.
>>
>>18332472
https://wiki.installgentoo.com/
>>
>>18332447
just go on babycenter desu, not really any trolls or bitter dudes on there
>>
>>18332472
kek
>>18332474
>not mentally ill anymore
eh kinda killed the romance of it all with that
>>
Thank you so much >>18332479
I'll look around InstallGentoo Wiki, love 4 chan anonymous <3 thx!
>>
>>18332484
Hold on princess, it was a joke. You and me. I can be the most romantic man you've ever dated. I know how to cook, clean, and spoil a lady.
>>
>>18332496
The beautiful thing about talking to a stranger on the internet is that i can imagine whatever powerful/beautiful/strong/sexy man on the internet i want but depending on what you say, my pussy will know how to react. Your joke dried me up faster than isopropyl alcohol on a toilet seat on a hot day. This sweet cunt of my is forever dry to the thought of you.
>>
>>18332510
Alright, that's fine. The sad truth is the girlfriend and I used to shitpost a lot together. I just wanted to know if it was her.

What's the first letter of your name?

You can leave me hanging dry and it would be perfectly ironic.
>>
>>18332496
Mate I've seen her, she's a fatty, don't worry about it, just pick yourself up and move on. Start a new thread if you need further help with this.
>>
>>18332518
ah, that's a sweet story but no I am not her. Are you two still together?
>>
>>18332522
Ah, I wish. She was a sweetheart. We broke up because of the distance. I thought it would be funny if it was her, since we hardly talk anymore.
>>18332520
That doesn't bother me whatsoever. Thanks, anon.
>>
>>18332527
If you don't care if a woman's fat over the internet You might as well try dating a guy on here who's gay or into the same weird shit as you and just pretend he's a girl. fucking weird but hey it might work and what's wrong with trying new things right ;) just don't fall in love or you'll turn into a cocksucker. best of luck finding a new lady though (less you have one already)
>>
>>18332537
Been there, done that. I prefer to top. Thanks for the advice.
Thread posts: 126
Thread images: 6


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