female wizards

>>18331544
I'll bang you bb

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you know damn well nobody is going to take this thread seriously and just bomb you for contact info requests.

>>18331544
Just fuck yourself with a dildo, if you can find that "enjoyable" go from there.

>>18331552
I can't. I've tried. It hurts. I've thought maybe I should take xanax or something before I do it but I have no prescription, so.

>>18331551
They don't know what I look like so there isn't any point in that. I could be a whale for all they know.

You know there is a medical condition that makes it difficult to have penetrative sex, though the name escapes me. My buddy's ex had it. Have you ever spoken to a doctor about it?

>>18331592
It's vaginismus. And I did talk to a doctor about it, but all they did was recommend me dilation therapy and gave me a kit. I still just feel like a failure and would rather learn with intimacy or at least a real person. Sometimes I can get a finger in there, but it's always uncomfortable. I hate having a retarded vagina.

I'd help if I wasn't sure we're countries apart

>>18331600
Where do you live?

And is this kind of thing weird to you? About a girl I mean. I'd want a guy that understands that i'll probably be in some pain but that I'll communicate with him and hopefully he can be patient enough to talk me through stuff and get me to like it. I wouldn't even need to bother him after, I just want someone I could trust to do it. The longer this goes on the worse it gets.

>>18331544
I would feel weird if I didn't love you I guess.. but not because you're a virgin, no matter how old you are. You're getting this from a guy who has literally had piv sex once in his life, years ago, for reasons.

Difference is I've realized desperation actually hurts us more than it helps. Hmm..

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>>18331544
>>18331594
Serious answer op, fuck the social norm here.

The first time you have sex kind of sucks for everyone. Anyone who disagrees is lieing or had a whole lot of "not sex" as practice. You need to get your body used to the stimulation and your mind ready to enjoy it. Dildos are the way to go. I had a lot of practice with my fingers, then a comb, then some real toys before I ever got a boyfriend and believe me I learned a lot about what felt good. If I had gone into it blind it would have sucked.

Being able to turn yourself on and knowing what angles feel best helps a ton both on the psychical side and on the emotional side. If you are going into sex having very little idea what being penetrated feels like, you are going to be nervous, which will make that first sensation hurt, which will dry you up and make it hurt worse, which will ruin everything.

As for your first toy, no joke bad dragon makes some of the best silicon in the industry. Forget the furry part and get a small one in medium or firm hardness (soft is WAY too soft).

Oh and for your actual question, boys aren't used to be approached, but for the most part if you tell them your story they will go for it.

>>18331604
>Where do you live?
South America

It's not really weird to me, I'd be okay with it. And I also don't really know what you look like, nor you know what I look like so ehh

>>18331619
Honestly I'm not bad looking which kind of puts me in worse scenarios since I do get asked out but I'm just anxious the entire time and thinking about how sex will go. It's gotten to the point where I don't even think about romance, just getting that act over with so I can pursue an adult relationship.
>>18331616
This is encouraging to hear from another girl, thank you. I do have two sex toys, one glass dildo and another one with a realistic feel, both are not very big but they're still so hard to get in even with a lot of lubricant. I did give up on trying so I should just keep trying...I'm good at getting myself off with my clit or my thighs but once penetration happens I begin to feel like I'm on fire and it just gets uncomfortable and hurts.

>>18331652
>just getting that act over with so I can pursue an adult relationship

This was sad to read. Sweetheart, you can have both. You can have a man who loves you and is patient with you. Don't settle for less than what you deserve. Desperation, anxiety, fear.. all those things suck. But understand that experience will be gained no matter what. I wish for you a great, patient man, one that you are attracted to.

>>18331652
Anxiety and your negative/depressive thoughts could be making you tighten up or lose interest (making your vagina less elastic and making you drier). Go at your own pace, do it only when you want to. Respect yourself and your body.

If this fails, talk to your doctor, ob/gyn, a regular therapist, or a sex therapist. Vaginismus is a thing and it is treatable. Anxiety is also a thing that is treatable. So is depression. You can work with them to figure out what the issues are and address them directly, instead of treating your virginity like the issue and trying to force yourself to have sex or accommodate things when you are not ready to, which will only make your experiences worse and make you have a harder time in the future due to a fear of pain and/or negative emotions being associated with it.

>>18331619
Which country?

>>18331652
What about that cream, Premarin or something like that. Helps the vagina become more elastic.

>>18331544
I am woman and hurting a lot shouldn't be happening. You need to talk to your doctor more if the kit didn't help....but since you don't seem like that a route you're wanting to take....ill advise other options that are not great ideas....get drunk and lose your virginity to some decent looking man you meet that night and just get it over with. Or try and establish a relationship and explain your predicament to your partner, but you said you can't do relatioships. Or post an ad on the internet and see what comes of that.. I can't imagine that encounter would be anxiety reducing. Have you seen a therapist? Its really not normal to go on a date without being really anxious and nervous just because you're a virgin.

>>18331544
My girlfriend had the same problem instead of just worrying about sex focus on the relationship at first and let him know whats going on and work together on slowly integrating sex into your realtionship

I'd be weirded out if you walked to me and asked for that. I'd be less weirder out if I was a close friend of yours with a sex life. I'd be ok if we were hanging out for a few dates and you mentioned it after making out some day (never in the middle, would hate to get blueballed)

>>18331652
Needs lots of foreplay.

>>18331704
I've been trying to treat it for years. My ob/gyn has to put me under twilight anesthesia or give me pain killers to practically knock me out while she does her annual on me, specifically because of the panic attacks I get when it starts happening. She's inspected while I'm under and said everything's fine, so I know it's just my brain psychologically fucking with me and making me act like a moron. And knowing I've had so many mishaps with it makes me anticipate it happening and yeah it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I wonder if this is how guys with performance issues feel?
>>18331759
I've never heard of it or been suggested it, I'll look into it. Thank you.

>>18331781
Yeah, it's hard to get intimate with someone because I'm just worried that I'll be putting so much pressure on them to "cure" me or whatever or for them to deal with my issues when they just wanted to sign up for a normal relationship probably, not try to penetrate a vag that contracts and doesn't want to let anything in.

>>18331787
The last guy I tried this with fell asleep almost every time we tried to do something...which ended up being only twice, because I kept having him wait as I tried to get comfortable or let him ease in. It took so long and I required him to be still and not push forward at all in and he just fell asleep on me both times. It was so embarrassing and weird that I just never wanted to try again with someone I cared about or liked, especially because he got understandably frustrated.

>>18331789
Well, I don't want to just walk up to a guy and do that. That's creepy. But asking a close friend for that is terrifying...and a weird burden to put on a friend. I'd rather it someone that will have no baggage with me.

>>18331544

in western society, females have considerable social leverage to implicate wrong-doing on the guy's part in the scenario you described.

most guys with a brain would rightly view you with suspicion, regardless of how you look.

>>18331813
Don't worry about how "normal" something should be. Just find a good guy you actually love and I guarantee if he loves you, he will be patient with you. He will make you feel special, and womanly. And all things will come naturally. Desperation is what will mess things up for you.

>>18331544
If you can't do it with a dildo you can't do it with a man.

>>18331750
Colombia

>>18331652
Reading the comments I'd say that instead of trying to get rid of the problem you should find someone that makes you forget that you have that problem in the first place

Consult a medical expert.

>>18331813

This basically is exactly what performance anxiety is like for either gender. "I have to be/feel a certain way that I don't know how to feel 'cause I've never done it before! Concentrate on that! Hnnrnrghhhhh"

...and then that's all you're thinking about, arousal disappears, and there's a soft cock or a dry vagina and no one's having a good time. As much as having a stranger doing this would help and be a good thing, having a lover coax you through it would transform your idea of sex completely. Calling masturbation loving yourself isn't too far from the truth. I'll vouch for being a normal person and say that loving your own body is an important aspect of sex. What you need is a little bit of alcohol, some heavy, emotional and panty-soaking foreplay, and you'd be good to go in no time.