Talking to Guys

Just pretend you're already his friend? Or like he's a brother or cousin. That may help with the anxiety. Or you can try telling yourself it's an irrational fear, and taking a few deep breaths before finally talking to him. If you spill spaghetti, don't worry it happens. But just try it till you feel okay? You may end up as friends at least, who knows.

Ah, I hope you are interested in me... Does your guy name start with an "M"?

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>>18326735
>but I have a really hard time talking to guys

wrong guys
>extroverted girl
haha

Here's the thing. Most men have a "standard" of beauty. If you don't meet that standard they can't see you as a potential partner. You can't really make up with that personality. Of course, personality is very important for any relationship, but as long as you're not physically attractive enough for someone it won't make you a potential interest in their eyes. And many men won't interact with women they don't see as potential partners more than the usual pleasantries and small chat unless they find something interesting about that woman like a common strong interest.

Of course, that standard of beauty is different for everybody and for some men it's really low. It usually depends on how attractive and successful they are and on their worldviews. So the simple truth is that you can't really get with someone who doesn't find you attractive. If you think he doesn't find you attractive then you're better off giving up.

If your issue is your body then you can most likely do something about it, fitness is a thing. But if it's your face well... tough luck. Your only option is plastic surgery and I don't know if that's worth it.

I am oversimplifying it a little bit, there are of course exceptions, but going around trying to grab the attention of men who don't find you attractive is counter-productive. You're better off continuing the search, most people find someone if they look for them long enough unless they're really hideous. Yeah, not being a beauty queen everyone is attracted to sucks, life isn't exactly fair, but you should try to do the best of it with what you have. Or, as I said, there are ways of making yourself prettier, it's up to you if you decide they're worth taking.

There isn't a perfect way to talk to your crush and in all honesty the simplest way of finding out if he's interested is to make a move and ask him out.

>>18326746
Thanks anon for your kind words. It's just feels hard thinking that I'm pretty ugly and that makes me lose a lot of confidence. I just have a lot of trouble getting the courage, I'm a coward when it comes to the opposite sex.

>>18326764
>wrong guys
I don't get this, could you elaborate?
>extroverted girl
I've never even been in a relationship before, just wanted to give a quick summary of how I am and the contrast of my personality.

>>18326762
Sorry to break your heart anon, but sadly it's not. Who were you hoping to find?

>>18326816
Thanks for the insightful post tripfriend. You're quite spot-on about the physical attractiveness part, because it also applies to females. Well, I do hate the fact that it is indeed my face but I doubt it'll ever go for plastic surgery. It sucks that there are things you can never change no matter how hard you try. And also the obvious fact that so many guys have attempted to make talk with my attractive friends, but I'm always the one taking the initiative makes me feel really upset too. Would say I'm pretty optimistic but this sort of stuff can make anyone's morale dip like crazy.

Kinda curious though. As a guy, how would you a girl to approach you / make small chat? And if you're interested in a girl, what sort of signs do you give out?

>>18326873
>Who were you hoping to find
a fat girl I'm in love with.

>>18326816
This, OP just needs to find out what league she's in, batting for guys that are too successful is just asking to get shutdown.

You say yourself you're not very attractive so maybe you should be asking out unattractive guys, assuming you're not a troll you should be able to get some beta.

>>18326735
Do you know about any of his likes or hobbies?

Introverted guys have trouble keeping conversations going unless it's something they're passionate about

>>18326735
The more feminine you act, the better you'll do with guys. I mean feminine in the sense of being kind, sweet, and caring.

I know this girl who is below average in looks but is so confident and witty and social that she always get men she like (Even if some aren't the prettiest)
Attraction isn't solely determined by looks.

>>18326959
Frankly the guys I go for aren't out of my league and I do have a couple of ""beta"" male friends (in a sense that they are more passive) who are really nice and friendly. Eve the guy I like currently would be seen as ""beta""

>>18326963
For starters he's in band, the whole class knows he likes memes (yes, I know) and finds it funny, other than that I'm not too sure.

>>18327071
>kind, sweet, and caring.
I do already possess those characteristics though, it's just that I'm not flirty at all because I really don't have the confidence (due to looks) to pull it off. Maybe it's just me but I feel if you're "ugly" and are already nice people think it should already be innate or they'll bitch about you; if you're good-looking and somehow contusion a trace of kindness people are shocked that you're not a complete dick and shower you with a lot of love and praise.

>>18327208
That's what I read/hear from many people but in the end what I observe around me doesn't come back to this fact. Also you have to get your personality to top-notch, which is what I'm in the process of doing (and struggling). I really don't want to admit it but attraction is probably much more important to guys than girls

>>18326735
Think of it this way, anon: even as an ugly woman you'll have a much much much easier time getting laid than a man of equal unattractiveness. My cousin married and knocked up an objectively ugly girl and he is much more attractive than she is. Like by a lot.

Here's what I think your problem is, but I'm just some 15 year old dude fucking around on 4chan instead of doing his homework, so you might want to take my words with a pinch of salt. One critical mistake a lot of "unattractive," and even attractive girls make is being too cheerful. I don't know why girls do this so much, but being too cheerful and nice and happy just makes you seem fake and annoying and even obnoxious. Just be normal and chill, ease up on the random forced compliments, and people will like you. That is, if you are forcing a personality of cheerfulness, if you are just genuinely a bubbly person then I don't have much advice to give. How old are you?

OP post a pic? It may help us.

>>18328415
I understand but distress with your opinion. If a guy has an "ugly" face he can improve by working out which drastically increases his overall physical appearance, girls largely rely on their faces. Also I don't want to get laid, but make friends.

>>18328529
DESU barely half a year ago I was a depressed almost-friendless person, and I entered a new college this year, (I'm 18) so I changed myself for the better. I don't think I am faking it but my enthusiasm just naturally shows when I'm with my friends and a lot of people have told me I have a loud voice. The thing is, there is another girl who's even more dramatic than me (she's also average) but she is funnier and much more well-received. Guys in my class gradually warmed up to her and started to initiate conversations with her etc.

Also, aren't you afraid you'll get banned?

>>18328812
Sorry but I don't want to take the risk of having pictures of me circulated around 4chan

>>18326735
bump