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okay /adv/ first time posting here, I am 30 yo, i am single, engineer, post degree studies currently, i began banging this girl, 28yo, studying, (sort of), two kids, from different parents, the oldest one has asperger, been for about a year and became very close. Never been with her in presence of her children, i don't want to bring another problem to those kids already messed up life. We always saw eachother when she could leave the kids at her mother's or with their parents, great sex, nice chill and then i fell in love with her, and suddenly seing her a couple of nigts a week was not enough for both and this is where i had to take a decision.
1) She has already lived her life, she knows what it feels to bring your first son and raise him and such, i don't and will never be her first son.
2) We'll never be able to be the most important thing in the other's life, at least i'll never be number one priority for her, never.
3)for the first time in my life i have financial independence, but we'll not be able to share travels or holydays without her kids.
4)I know their kids already have fathers, but if we're gonna live together at some point, i'll have to take part in the raising of them, and i'm just not ready.
Okay, the thing is we broke up yesterday i never told her this, i prefer to be seen as anything than hurting her.
¿Did i do right? i believe so, but hurts bad man. thanks
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>>18326582
If you tell her all of this she loses hope and lets herself go probably, so i think you did right and part of her will accept this outcome by declaring you a jerk.
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>>18326582
WTF? 28 yo is not a girl and she is not with either father, you sir are asking for trouble. Hope you are taking precautions or she'll have three baby daddies.
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>>18326582
You didn't come here for advice, you came for validation, and that annoys the shit out of me. But yeah you did fine, you fucker.
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>>18326621
sorry to trigger you, thanks for your answer
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>>18326621
OP sounds like he's in a pretty shitty situation t.b.h
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>>18326640
His question was,
>Did I do right?
That's not something needing advice. Yeah it's a shitty situation, but he analysed it and came to a logical decision and acted on that decision and the matter is now resolved. Wasting my damn time for a pat on the back.
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>>18326646
>Did i do right?
you could have said, no you didn't you should have told her or whatever, if i posted in /adv/ i want advice, yeah should have asked in a different way, but come on
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>28
>2 kids
>2 fathers
>fucking you before getting married or at least being in a committed relationship
You dodged a bullet. Move on fast.
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>>18326582
She doesn't and will never see you as a desirable man, only as a provider for her children. This is basic biology.
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>>18326582
If the circumstances of a relationship don't work for you, the relationship isn't going to work for you. There' nothing wrong with that. People think loving someone magically cures all woes, or should overcome all other problems. It doesn't.
You both are in different places in your lives. Relationships like that generally don't work out. You did fine.
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