Dating +10 years younger

För helvete, Leif.

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>>18326156
It's not that uncommon actually. My best friend is 32 and is dating a 23 year old. See it this way, the older you get, the less it will matter. She is 22, an adult who is living her own life and making her own decisions. In 10 years you will be 43 and she will be 32 years old. Do you consider that creepy at all?

>>18326234
I don't, but the woman I'm dating won't see it that way. I wish to figure what the consensus is. I think there are three types of very young women:

>think dating older guys is sickening, only dates guys about the same age
>won't mind either way, dates guys their own age and older
>will exclusively date older guys, no interest in guys their own age

the consensus if the men do it for the young pussy and the women do it for the money or daddy issues

are you sure she didnt lie to you about her age

im 34 and male
do whatever pleases you without hurting anyone

>>18326156
Stop worrying about society OP. There are old men with young girlfriends. Life is short. do whatever it takes to make yourself happy.

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>>18326258
The consensus is that you should have enough balls not to care.

Pork away pal. Fuck her blue.

Okay maybe I can weigh in here. F/24.

I don't think dating a 22 year old at your age is wrong. Of course it still depends on the individual, but there are plenty of women that age who know what they want and even if they might not know what they get themselves into (who ever does in a relationship?), they are able to own up to their own choice and the risk they choose to take because they're into you.

But I cannot deny that the way male sexuality seems wired, with the extreme focus on youth and beauty, makes me uneasy at times. Also because I do not emotionally understand it at all. I know this goes the other way around as well: I have heard men on here proclaim countless times that all they want is a sweet, normal looking girl, while women seek out the "best" men and this would be a less sincere manner of attraction.
I find all ages to have their own attraction and this seems to be a point of view that is a lot more common among women than men. (I know you implied attraction to a broad range of age, but it is hardly common to see men on dating sites willing to go up until x amount of years below their own age, for example.) That in itself is just kind of scary, that I look at a man who looks kind of worn and aged and to me that is sexy in its own way, and to hear men talk about the equivalent with the most degrading terms like the woman withered and is now worthless.
The second part is that women care A LOT about personal development. A man who shows to have a strong personality, to have achieved things he put his mind to, developed skills, overcame issues etc is entirely sexy to women and something that is increasingly likely to show with age. It's also another reason why women like older men: young guys are all (just like the girls) a bit aimless and wandering, or at most fiercely ambitious with nothing to show for it. When someone is forty, you can tell whether or not he has what it takes to grow.

>>18326336
Yes this means money or success (which does not exist in a vacuum) but also whether you grew into the kind of person who is still looking to blame others at every turn, or that you have faced realizations about yourself, have insight in your own psychology and that of others.

It is blatantly obvious that men do not care about this (to the same extent). A recurring thing is that when a man is questioned or attacked for dating a young woman, he goes to argue why she is mature "enough" that it does not feel like dating a child.
But from a woman's perspective, you think - that's what's enough for you? You aren't drawn to someone you respect and can, at least in ways, admire, you just want someone who is mature enough to have a relationship with that doesn't feel like a teen drama, and is fresh faced?
That feels like the man is looking at her as a fresh breath of air in his life, someone to accompany him and cheer him up etc - more than a partner that can hold her weight in every area just like he can. And I think many men care less about that equality aspect, and in itself there isn't necessarily much wrong with that. All sorts of relationships exist. But it can be mystifying from the other side - it is a nightmare to me imagining to date someone who's like a human puppy and provides me all sorts of things, but not feeling completely understood or supported. And I certainly do not feel personally attracted (they look fine, still) to teenagers.

Aka, I don't think there's anything morally wrong with it, I think her discomfort has to do with different priorities between men and women. And I know how she feels, I am crushing on a man who's your age myself... but I don't want to date someone who at almost forty is happy to date someone in her mid twenties. It might not be rational but it just does not sit well with me. All the more because I can't look into his head and see for myself how he perceives me.

>>18326350
Just realized I didn't double check your age, the man I like is 37, at 33 I did not mean to imply that you are almost forty!

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>>18326258
Think about what the reason is why in our society dating another that is too you is forbidden. It's because to protect those who are too young to fully understand sexuality and therefor don't really know what they agree on.
And now ask her whether she thinks at her age of 22 she thinks she can't make that decision for herself.

>>18326156
Well I think it's gross and weird for the reasons the last two post stated. It's weird to me and makes me uncomfortable that anyone in their thirties would be attracted, physically or otherwise to someone in their twenties.

I mean I'm only 21 but I'm never attracted to teenagers and at the lower end that's only an age difference of 3 years. Someone who is attracted to such young adults when they are so much older is odd and comes across as emotionally stagnant.

In addition, there's usually an issue of maturity. I couldn't respect someone who was dating someone so young because it seems as if they re unwilling to move their life froward.

I think everyone has an age difference that they'd find odd or creepy. There's not a consensus.

It's not as if being 33 and dating 22 year olds is immoral or anything, just kinda gross and off-putting like a gf calling her bf daddy or finding out your bf likes scat porn.

It may change the way people see you but it's not as if it's criminal.

>>18326156
I really think it depends on a person. Some women in their 16s are more mature than some of the 20+. I think it's alright as long as you don't use your age advantage to abuse unexperienced young women.

My father married one of his ex students (over 10y age difference) after he helped her with divorcing her abusive husband of her age.

>>18326474
women never mature, men can stay unmature upto their 40s but women will never be more than grown children

>I think it's alright as long as you don't use your age advantage to abuse unexperienced young women.
>after he helped her with divorcing her abusive husband of her age.

so he ruined a marriage, got it

>>18326489
Not really, the woman was in hospital because she almost starved herself from stress her husband put on her. That's when she messaged my father.

Some women are just big children and never mature, some do very early. Some men mature and some spend their entire lives as manchildren watching anime and browsing 4chan.

>>18326499
>she almost starved herself from stress her husband put on her.

this is some next level bullshit

>>18326515
Literally which part

>>18326336
The opposite is also true for the same reason though, sweetheart.

M/31. I was recently attracted to a girl who is 19, later on come to find out she has a bf so I backed off. But she was extremely mature for her age, taking an uber to work at a factory, just came to the US 4 months ago, and she is waiting for her bf to come over. She was also quiet, reserved, hard working for her age. I admire the hell out of her. She's a little taller than me, and I like that too. When I told her that I got a good vibe from her, she said the same of me. In a way, her sacrifice reminds me of my mother when she was younger, she came to the states with me as a kid.

Life can be extremely unforgiving chronologically, physically, spiritually, in many ways.

>>18326526
The funny thing is, I thought she was like 23 or so, and she thought I was 27..

>>18326156
I'm 26 and a half, postdoc in a uni and dating a 18 years old undergraduate girl.
I taught her class this one time as a substitute teacher, and then she kept coming to my office for random reasons even though I'm not her professor and she had no interest in math.
Initially I think it was unreasonable (even though I'm not affiliated to the faculty and there's no rules against us dating), but she convinced me otherwise. It has been a wonderful relationship, with ups and downs of course. I used to totally dismiss girls who try to take the perfect picture of their breakfast, spend time on fashion blogs, pinterest, have way too many fb friends and instagram followers, as vapid. Now I think at least one of those girls can be very endearing with a complex side. Besides obvious physical attraction, what I really like about her is that she is very strong willed, and she could sleep ridiculously well, no matter what we do the previous night, she would always wake up full of energy, make breakfast, take a selfie while doing it. It became funny to watch her going through her beauty routine in the morning.
But she's 18, so I guess this must be the limit. Also I would never claim she is intelligent or mature for her age, because she is neither. But there's something cute and innocent about her, very different from the women I've been with. Honestly she made them look pretty bad in retrospect.
All of my friends have been betting against us, that we won't last more than a semester, so far they have been wrong.

>>18326156
A 22 year old guy with a 12 year old girlfriend is creepy.
A 52 year old guy with a 42 year old girlfriend wouldn't even be noticed.
You're somewhere in between. You might raise some eyebrows, but no one would cringe.

>>18326156
Shit, I feel like it gets less important the older you get. Maybe 10 years is still a bit sketchy when you are 33, but not too awful.
I just turned 20 and I've been on/off dating and fucking a 16 year old about to turn 17 in June (age of consent is 16 in my state so no worries there). And honestly I felt sketchy going in but once I was with her I realized I belonged there and that 3 years shouldn't matter. I do get judged though.