I have a son

>>18320956
Maybe if you stopped pinching him he wouldn't cry you fucking moron.

Take a photo of the kid while he is smiling.
Always keep it on you.
Whenever he gets sad or screams look at the photo.

But talk to the mother about what she thinks you could do different to make him happy.

He's a baby
Babies cry when they're not with their mother.

I get it dude but you're barely past the starting line. Learn to not take it personally or you're gonna have a hard time.

this is natural
he forms a bond with mommy over the first year, then reaches out to the word but will very much depend on the safety of mommy for 3

dont be angry at him, be patient
daddying starts when hes a toddler

come on man, be a good dad, you will be his idol
dont fucking hurt him
please

>>18320956

let mom have her time in the lime light, everyone knows dad is the superhero when the kid gains self awareness.

also, this is a tough period of being a man
you will be ignored, by mom and by him too

i hope you are a grown up by now and can handle it, it will get alot better later if you keep your shit togather

>>18320956
>pinching a baby because it cries
You're fucking retarded. You basically conditioned him to fear you.

You need to stop pinching him to delete that conditioning. Also try counterconditioning: try to presemt your son something he likes, sometjing that makes him comfortable and laugh. Then, when he's happy and smiling you keep on going near him, pat him or something. Do this a few times and then you change tne patting with carrying and so on

But fot fucks sake, stop inflicting physical (or mental, even though that's not as important yet at such a young age) pain on him.

>>18320956
wait a minute

what a tragedy of a mother forces merely 4 months old to sleep on their own, without her?

this is the actual problem

>>18320956
Your 4 month old son doesn't ask for shit. He's barely aware of his surroundings.

>>18320956
Your son can't see shit, he can barely see your S.O. and imagine if a mysterious giant tried to put you to bed.

Also cut it with the pinching, his mind is probably less complex then a dogs. He doesn't understand cause and effect yet, or that mom is truly unavailable. You aren't teaching him anything and just associating your form to pinches, like moms form to milk.

Finally, wait till they're one or two years old, they get better once you can understand what they want versus a screaming potato.

What the actual FUCK you hurt an infant because YOU'RE JELAOUS he preffers a person that gave birth to him than YOU what kind of sick fuck are you, who let you reproduce you emotionally unstable manlet with social skills of a spoiled 3 years old.

Seriously, 3 year old kids do that.
- I WANT THE THING
- No.
- ILL GET ANGRY AND KICK AND PINCH YOU
^ That's how little spoiled brats act. And you^

Also expect your kid to grow up to be a horrible human being because you're just teaching him when you're allowed to hurt others when you don't get what you want.

You disgust me.

>being a parent is so worth it even though idk what the fuck I'm doing

i'm not speaking for all of them but why are people who have kids almost always this retarded or worse?

>>18321195
my guess is that the western culture taught them so

also, there's some biology involved of course

This is seriously the saddest thing I've ever read in my life. The kid is 4 months old of course he wants needs and recognizes his mother more. And you can't handle that so much so that you pinch him? That's some serial killer shit.

Honestly I'd start with parenting classes because you seriously are going to need them even more than you already do because you are legitimately retarded and unaware and the sort of person who will have a very hard time ever being a decent parent. But classes will at least help you understand where your child is developmentally so maybe you can realize what an immature and ignorant retard you are for expecting this to be different than it is now. Honestly should have gone for abortion and saved the kid the trouble.

>>18321197
third world parents are just as bad, making their kids kill things and shit to "be a man" and molesting them

I don't believe in "parental instinct" or else it wouldn't BE the stupid people having them

>>18321210
woah, man stop there.
teaching a child to kill isn't nice, sure, but it's a good way to raise them to be hunters and shit. And it's important if hunting is your way to live

>>18321214
>And it's important if hunting is your way to live

I'm on the fence about this, I know what you're getting at but I'd wait until they were 10-14 and never make them do it if it's against their will or punish them for not being that type of person.

>>18321210
First there's a difference between parental instinct and reproductive instinct. Everyone has reproductive instincts, idiots are just too dumb to keep from getting themselves or others pregnant.

And just because something comes instinctually doesn't magically mean you get it right all the time. Fucking whales can swim on instinct, and they still sometimes fuck up and beach themselves.

>You need to stop pinching him to delete that conditioning. Also try counterconditioning: try to presemt your son something he likes, sometjing that makes him comfortable and laugh. Then, when he's happy and smiling you keep on going near him, pat him or something. Do this a few times and then you change tne patting with carrying and so on


I agree with above.

I totally understand what youre going through. But if you want him to like you, make your experiences with him positive, always. The baby wont seriously bond with you until he becomes more independent from mom. Trust me when kids get older, they push mom away like a mofo and cling to dad.

>>18321220
>First there's a difference between parental instinct and reproductive instinct

I'm starting to only believe in the latter

>>18321219
but keep in mind, that in the west, we mature way longer.
By the age of 14 they are already adults in Africa.
Also, keep in mind, that the children are the only hope for the parents once they get too old to make food, etc. they have to make them to be useful for them.

I mean, I also understand your position. I'm just pointing out why are the things the way they are

>>18321219
I don't think you get how life works. Survival trumps your fucking stupid need for everyone to be happy and choose their life.

You have got a bad case of first-world stupidity.

>>18321220
>Fucking whales can swim on instinct, and they still sometimes fuck up and beach themselves.
you know nothing about whales then

>>18321225
>>18321227

>By the age of 14 they are already adults in Africa.
>Also, keep in mind, that the children are the only hope for the parents once they get too old to make food, etc. they have to make them to be useful for them.

All this has to do with is who lives in a shithole and who doesn't. You can choose to not live in a shithole.

>>18321219

Not that guy but I'm pretty sure that in those cultures it is simply not a sustainable future for the children to be pussies at that. Social acceptance and responsibility is much more important and failing at that would result in suffering for the child down the line. If the kid never hunts then the parents die, that kid simply won't eat which won't work out too well so the kid has to hunt. There isn't the option to be a shut in neet in their parents basement in those cultures.

>>18321223
I dunno. I pretty much wing shit with my kids, and they've turned out pretty fucking awesome. I just try and do what's best for them, and teach them life skills. I mean I've still got a few years before they're adults, but so far so good.

>>18321230
It's a shitty analogy that I came up with on the fly. Sue me.

Oh lord. Reading some of these comments, yikes. Dont insult the dude and tell him hes retarded. Hes not. His feelings are understandable he just needs to find a better way to express them without hurting the baby. He already said he feels horrible about it and is seeking advice. As a mother the thread upset me too but damn. Help him, dont just assume hes a shit person.

Anyways, OP, definitely dont hurt the baby anymore. It wont help anything and youll just keep feeling bad after. Babies are frustrating but try to nurture and show some affection when the baby cries. Also, parenting classes are great and fairly easily accessable. Go take one.

>>18321232
if you have a western passport

>>18321234
Well that's good but it's still an anecdote, you can't really set examples for other parents. They just wing it too, and they usually fuck up for the most part. Everybody just treats it like "whatever" and act like they did their best no matter the result. And then there really are cases where the kid was raised spectacularly and still turns out to be a completely retarded asshole.

>>18321232
Oh yes, I forgot how easy to amass the resources necessary to escape a place with little to no resources. Statement retracted.

>>18321232

Are you retarded? How do you figure some African tribesmen are just gonna decide they're tired of hunting and gathering and living without iPhones and just like pop on a plane to a first world country?

>>18321245
I live in a first world shithole but it's still a shithole and I can't afford to leave. SO, I don't have kids!

>>18321249
but you have the internet and can masturbate the fuck of your sexual desires

You need counseling. You're gonna end up abusing this child way worse if you don't come clean, and he will be stunted and damaged for it.

You're menrally ill, if you buy into that sort of thing. Get therapy and come clean, before you hurt anyone mentally or physically.

If you love your son, if you're not too absorbed in yourself for that, you'll see the need for the counseling.

Thanks for being honest with us. I think you have good intentions, just some mental and emotional dysfunction.

>>18321249

If women in third world countries had cheap and easy access to reliable birth control as well as access to good healthcare for the kids they do have and education that would probably be a more reasonable expectation and in general less of a problem.

>>18321243
Yeah it is anecdotal, it's just an example that it does exist. Just because I get it right largely on intuition and instinct doesn't mean everyone will. Nor would I ever claim they do.

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>>18321232
>You can choose to not live in a shithole.
Shit Anon you're right, I'll just grab my spear and tell Umfufu to pack the kids up and we'll jump in the car we don't have and buy tickets we can't afford for a plane ride we don't know exists to a country we've never heard of and automatically be granted citizenship to live in culture we don't understand and get jobs we don't know how to do. I never realised it was so simple.

>>18321254
What does masturbation have to do with any of this. If you want kids, but don't want to have to raise them like shit, do whatever you can to raise them in an environment where you both have room to grow past barely surviving and dying in your 30's. Animals get this shit.

>>18321249
>Fuck it guys, lets just let our people die out because life is tough

I wish your ancestors had taken this stance.

>>18321264
I wish they secured him an education, but those are hard to come by in America if you aren't well paid.

>>18321262
That's literally the exact opposite of what animals do.

>>18321262
first you claimed that since you can't afford kids, you don't have them.
Now you're saying poverty is not a problem.

I only said, you are able to force your way out of unprotected sex, because you can satisfy your desires in another way

>>18321249
That's an easy decision to make when you actually know what is or isn't a shithole. If people had that instinctively then the human race would have ended before it even took off, because before we built civilisation everything was a shithole.

>>18321267
And humans are animals so case closed. The guy don't know nuthin.

>>18321267
Animals that become extinct, because they haven't evolved to live outside of one specific ecosystem, which would be deficient in certain resources they depend on to survive. The world turns without them.

>>18321269
a less absurd shithole and without the ecological damage, though

>>18321273
>and the world just keep turnin'
fucking awe inspiring, enlightening

now realize that humans are animals and go read (zing) a bit about what really happens to offspring animals shouldn't have had

>>18321275
What makes you think Umbongo and Umfufu are even aware of ecological damage and the absurdities of the modern world? Fuck, you're dumb.

>>18321268
I said don't have kids until you can afford to give them a life that meets halfway decent standards. If you can't figure out how do that, how to KNOW you should do that, you're just mindlessly reproducing for the sake of contributing to a chain of suffering and the spread of disease.

>>18321281
Oh you're just a racist. Then maybe kill yourself because you're more interested im masturbatory pseudointellectualism because aside from whites being the dominant race atm youre about inferior in every other way (I can tell from your writing that you're weak and not a real man. do you live with your parents? if so, how is this benefiting your prospects?)

>>18321279
They get fucking eaten? By their parents, sometimes.

>>18321283
bingo
and guess what, I do it because I like sex

by the way, you seem to be oblivious to the fact that in the third world people have drastically different standards and expectations of living

>>18321285
Not them but gr8 b8

>>18321289
yeah sir, and they also starve, go thirsty, burn in the sun, and get otherwise neglected to death. meanwhile the animal doing this neglecting might be pregnant with round two.

how bad the organism does this depends on a lot of different factors. humans are just organisms.

>>18321285
I am not white and I do not live with my parents. Umfufu comes from Eddie Murphy's show Raw, you uppity cunt.

>>18321294
I don't speak drooling 4chan cancer bleating vague decade old memes that don't bring anyone pleasure

>>18321301
you don't belong here then.
leave in peace, m8

>>18321298
Eddie Murphy was a scumbag. You guys are talking about Africa like its a cartoon sitcom.

>>18321301
Not as gr8 b8.

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>>18321285
>Saying that tribal niggers aren't aware of the world outside of their tribal lives is racist

You dumb, nigga

>>18321304
Im stuck in this waiting room and im tired

Wheres op anyway? That guy needs help, and so dors his son

>>18321309
thats not why I made the inference, simpleton. of course undisturbed tribal people only know tribal life.

>>18321310
Nah. His son is as good as ruined at this point. Best to just give up and move on to the next one at this point.

>>18321310
seems like he left once he realised we're not going to pat him on the back

>>18321305
Africa's a huge fucking place, Anon, some of which is still living in the bronze age and further back. Not a cartoon sitcom, just very underdeveloped. I have no idea why this offends you so deeply aside from you just being a pissy reactionary.

>>18321314
Haha ok thats a good meemay

>>18321314
and to eat him, because we can't lose those precious proteins

>>18321313
Then what's your problem? You aren't seriously getting your panties in a twist because someone said Umbongo on 4chan, are you?

>>18321316
>reactionary
>>>/pol/

yall are being simple about it. its like the situation in Africa is "It the clown", and its creeping up on a kid with his back turned (the Africans) and youre the African American in the theater yelling:

"FUCK IS YOU DOIN? JUST GO WERE THA FOOD IS! THE UNIVERSE RITE BEHIND U DUMB NIGGAS ITS GONNA GET YOU!"

>>18321333
Nigger no-one but you is talking about the situation in Africa, we were talking specifically about isolationist tribes that still hunt and kill to live (again no-one mentioned Africa before you did, such tribes also exist in South America and parts of Asia as well). You're fucking obsessed you freak.

>>18321320
In the current political climate, hearing "why doesn't umongo go where the food is" makes me think of people irl who I really do not like, silver spoon fed spoiled fucks who don't need to support myself like me and all of these "niggers," so they can be as shitty and dysfunctional as possible while daddy keeps paying for everything

>>18321344
Yeah they don't know anything else exists. Those who are adopted as children don't usually go back to being muddy 24/7 and having a pig for entertainment

>>18321348
>In the current political climate
Immediately stopped reading.

>>18321348
That's not what I said you illiterate cunt, I was making the exact opposite point, the point that Umbongo can't just go where the food is because that requires knowledge and resources he doesn't have. Learn to fucking read before losing your shit about something.

>>18321367
no I wasn't arguing with you. I just was like StOp SaYiNG uMBoNGO xD RAWR

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>>18321373
Kill you are self.

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>>18321367
look man im sorry if I hurt your feelings. I was just trying to be oppositional and distuptive, because I didn't like the conversation. please accept the attached picture as my apology, and try to stay cheery and hopeful despite what happened here today. that okay, friend?

>>18321377
No, not okay, people like you throwing around words like racism devalue them entirely and are an actual problem making the issue you righteously claim to be against even worse and you're fucking hypocrite scum and your ivory tower is going to crumble one day and I hope it crushes you in the process you whore.

>>18321377
>that pic
so it was jesus that fought the agents?
fuck, now it starts making sense

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>>18321390
yes!

the bible never *ended*. are you piecing it together now.

>>18321384
I bet I just hurt your feelings, and I'm regretful of that.

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were all losers here in a sense but I also believe we are winners. thats why we give and look for advice. I love you.

>>18321405
I don't love you.

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>>18321412
but I won't fight you
you are a sad bear sometimes you know this

here have some coffee