/adv/ please help me out man. Hello first of all, have you ever

>>18319974
With me so far? Good here's where it gets messy. It turns out she's a pathological liar, she and I have had more fights than I can even count in these 3 years, she interupts with the intention of trolling, she goes silent for hours, and when our fight crosses over "that" limit she even becomes very very nasty, like if she were a guy is hit her nasty.

We are fighting constantly, the sex used to be ok now it's shit.
She lies so much that I don't even think the whole relationship is real.

She is presenting juvenile behaviour so much that I am going mad, it's like an adult sized brat just exploded into our reality.
She isn't cheating as she is with me 24/7 (upon her request)
A while ago when confronted with a lie, instead of admitting it she diverted my attention by taking 15 ibuprofen pills and getting herself hospitalised (technically one night and 3 observation)

She admitted the lie weeks after the suicide attempt.

She is starting to become unlovable.
Even if she did the suicide attempt to troll, I felt sympathy and love and tried to sort of... Love her unconditionally even when she is a brat.

Here's the question, while I understand that I also have my bad habits, do I break up with her? Or do I stay?

See if she has some mental illness and I break up with her, then maybe I'd be triggering her suicidal shit.
But if I stay, she will 100% toy with my feelings forever.

There is so much more info but I don't even know how to pack it in one post

>Pic for attention

>tl;dr tough choices and why to make them when you find out your 3 year partner has severe issues.

>>18319977
>do I break up with her? Or do I stay?
You break up with her, you fucking retard. If you ever got her pregnant, just imagine the damage she'd do to your potential kids and you'd forever be held hostage. It's okay to think about your own well-being over others.

>>18319977
A few more snippets of info

I'm 34, she's 25
She is extremely nasty when confronted with anything, never almost admits she's wrong, very selfish in most things we do.

It seems she wants to prolong the relationship at times, and at times she wants to break up.

She has called me unattractive, she has tried to emasculate me by talking about my dicksize (7in) that it's not good enough.

She told me many times "why should I respect you?"

One time I was so fucking angry i was yelling and telling her how wrong she was about something, she just sat there with a hateful smile on her face.

And here's why we are still together, when the bitch inside her goes away, she spends hours apologising and literally fucking LITERALLY kissing my feet and saying forgive me.

She has spend hours trying to make it up for her fights, she has massaged me, made me drinks (smoothies) and told me over and over that she's sorry and that she loves me etc.

It's like she has split personality, one is a manhating cunt, and the other worships me.

I told her once, that I am not her stepfather she cried

I don't know what the fuck to do, if I dump her now she has no one, fucking literally no one (new country) no family, no friends.

We live together, dumping her means we move out of this place.

We are in a new country she'd spend days if not weeks alone.

Her family sort of abandoned her, and I am sure that I am not the same happy person I was when I first met her.

>>18319993
But she's suicidal and I'm literally the only human contact she has
Literally the only human contact she has, focus on that line

Maybe I should drop her off in her own country near her sister's family

I was seriously thinking of buying two tickets to her country and walking her to her sisters house then walking away

>>18319977
>See if she has some mental illness and I break up with her, then maybe I'd be triggering her suicidal shit.
This is a typical thing used by mentally ill people to guilt their partners into staying with them. It comes solely from a place of manipulation and control. The reason she took 15 ibuprofen was to assert this control over you. If she wanted to kill herself she wouldn't have used such a safe method. She has severe issues and your two choices are to get her mental help, or leave now and never look back. One of these things is easier, safer, and involves less risk than the other. Both are perfectly valid choices.

I am the son of a bipolar mother and watched her destroy both my father and step-father. She has 'attempted suicide' multiple times in a similar way. My father became an emotional wreck, spending weeks in a dark room rocking back and forth unable to handle life, and twenty years later he's had two other serious relationships, one with a woman who cheated on him and another with a Thai chick he sends most of his money to every month who may or may not be a ladyboy. I haven't seen my step-father in years but he spent ten years unhappy and being abused because he didn't have the strength to move on.

It boils down to this, can you handle being another person's emotional tampon without it destroying you? I'm not going to tell you the answer. You already know the answer.

>>18319974
Also,
>her background is that of divorced parents, step father, physical abuse and a whole gift basket of authority issues
How did you NOT see this coming?

>>18320019
How the fuck do I break up with her and in the same time guarantee her safety

Underneath her control tricks, she is a severely (rather I found that that she is) a damaged person.

I need to drop her, but in a safe way.
I love her, I know you'll laugh but 3 years of 24/7 burns a mark on your psyche.

I love her, but I want her to be different and obviously she won't change, so how do I safely make sure she's ok, while I end the relationship?

I was actually thinking of saving money, flying her and Ito her country and dropping her at her sister's place.

I'm not so sure in this setting I'll be same.

Thing is, she might not agree to go there
I thought about inviting her biological father to come pick her up, like literally visa invitation.

Her relationship with him is ok'ish
Maybe if I surprise invite him, then take him to a hotel and explain the whole thing he'll take her to his place

>>18320026
She was a fucking godsent 9/10 angel the first year
Fucking amazing year, we loved each other unfuckingbelievably strong :/

I suppose I was blinded by my own need for love

>>18320019
Any way to keep her in control?

>>18319974
Tl;Dr

1. Dump her
2. Go back to Syria
3. ???????
4. Profit!

>>18320060
As lulzy as that sounds
It actually hits a spot in me....

>>18320041
You can't guarantee her safety if you break up with her. Here's the kicker: you also can't guarantee her safety whilst you remain with her. You can't guarantee your own safety whilst you remain with her. Mentally ill people are a ticking time-bomb, and when that bomb goes off there's a chance it'll just throw out confetti and a flag with the word 'bang' on it, and there's a chance it'll decimate everything in a twenty mile radius. You are not a bomb disposal expert. You can either run like fuck to try and get out of the blast zone, or you can attempt to disarm it and live (or die) with the consequences of that decision.

Fly her to her family. Pawn her off on her dad (but don't you dare spring it on him without warning, you cunt). Make her see mental health professionals before you leave her. Get her sectioned if she gets really bad before or during the break-up. You're not a martyr. You're not Jesus. You can't save her from herself. The fact is that given how easily she can control your dumbfuck ass, you being with her is something that will never allow her to change and start to get better in the first place.

>>18320051
Cattle prod. I'm not joking. By the sounds of it she's already mastered emotionally manipulating you. You're no match for her when it comes to control.

>>18320077
Ok tips on how to turn tables at least?
>>18320071
I'm going with the dad thing

Why are you guys saying she controls me?
I'm here planning to safely repack her and send her back to where she's made. How is that control?

Or do you mean the fact that I haven't dumped her already?
I'll admit that's mighty fucking stupid of me, but loved takes over
Even when she's a cunt to the fullest meaning of the word.

But yeah, dad plan

>>18320071
>The fact is that given how easily she can control your dumbfuck ass, you being with her is something that will never allow her to change and start to get better in the first place.
It took me a while to understand this.
I get it.

>>18320083
>Why are you guys saying she controls me?
Re-read your own posts detailing your fights and her smirking as you scream at her and how she begs your forgiveness and says she will never do it again, then does it again, and how she feigns suicide attempts and lies constantly, then ask that question out loud and see whether or not you feel like a dumb fuck.

>>18320102
I sincerely do feel like a dumb fuck
I fucking love you anon.

Deleting thread.
Will go with dad plan

>>18320117
Welp, seems i can't delete thread.

Anyway thank you anons.
I love you and I appreciate you guys a lot.

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>>18320111
Love you too brah, hope it all goes smoothly for you (it won't, it'll be messy as fuck, but you'll be better off).