2nd Tinder Date

>>18319775
Take it from me
Do not be hesitant to touch her or be physical

I was in a similar place to you once and I fucked up by not kissing her
Gonna regret that forever.

Go for a kiss and if she pulls away, act like it don't even matter

>>18319831
Yeah, the one mistake I know I'm prone to make is not being affectionate enough. I'm definitely going to engage her physically more the second time around.

But this brings up a second fear; how much is too much? I don't want to creep her out or make her feel uncomfortable.

>>18319831
>I was in a similar place to you once and I fucked up by not kissing her

That's not where you fucked up.
There was no single thing you fucked up and there never will be (unless you go full dumbass and blurt out I love you on the first date or some shit).
Where you fucked up was everywhere else, not any one single thing. Hell, you may have NOT fucked up and she just wasn't in to you. That kiss wouldn't have changed jack shit, because it wouldn't have magically transformed what happened the rest of the night.

I met my gf online. Halfway through the first date I could feel shit was going remarkably well and I SPECIFICALLY remember opting to choose to take it slow because I wanted to get to know her better. I didn't so much as kiss her until towards the end of the third date. That same night we had just a kind of fuck it moment, became a couple, and then proceeded to have sex for like 4 days straight.

Don't fall for the "always need to rush" meme.

>>18319775
>I'm getting kinda nervous here. She's got some serious gf potential. How do I not fuck this up?

Try not to think of it as "serious potential". Just go to have fun and get to know her. Follow the flow of things.

You can try to artificially inflate the romantic factor by doing romantic things (like walking taking a walk through a flower garden and chatting, or being out late at a pier and watching a sunset/the waves, etc.) and hen following that flow, move forward, it don't feel like you have to rush things. It's better to do it when you both feel it than rush it and feel awkward about it all.

>Also, I've got a date with another girl scheduled for Saturday night. Should I still go on that or cancel?

This ones up to you. I'd advocate not putting al your eggs in one basket and just proceeding as normal so you don't overhype yourself about the other girl, but personally, I could only ever date one person at a time--otherwise I'd literally start mixing up their names and conversations.

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>>18319914
>That's not where you fucked up.
No it was.
It really was.

It was a our third date and I still hadn't made any physical contact. Because I was afraid.

So this date goes very well. It was a coffee date and she says after that she lives right near by and that her dog needs walking. Would I like to come with?
Uh yeah, of course.
So we go to her apartment and she comes out with her dog.
We go for a walk in the park. We talk about shit. I see the pond and I say, I can't wait to skate on that when it freezes. She says, she'll have to come with me.
It's great

We get back to her apartment and her neighbours on his deck playing his guitar shirtless.
He's like "Hey girl, what's up?" He says while stroking his abs.

I'm standing in front of her door. She's looking at me expectingly.
I'm totally frozen because this bastard is staring at me.
She says "Do you want me to walk you to the metro?"
I'm such a FUCKING FAGGOT that I sputter out "N-no"
I never see her again.

If I just FUCKING kissed her.
She was a total psycho but she was the exact same kind of psycho I was.
Fuck I'll never get over her till I meet another one like her.
And I haven't over 3 years

I've been happily married for 22 years and the best advice I can give you is listen and pay attention to her. Be moderately affectionate and not an all hands and lips sleaze.
Listen and pay attention to her, ask about her, appear interested in her and everything else should progress naturally. This is how my marriage has lasted so long. But still be the man and not some puppy with your tail wagging around her feet begging to get some.

>>18319914
That's a cute story, and I hope you two live happily ever after.

A lot of people aren't looking to invest that much time and emotion into a relationship. They may just be busy, or they may have some imminent life change (college, job, move) that makes a long term relationship undesirable. If one or both people are in this situation, then it's a good idea to move as fast as possible.

I know this personally from a LDR where I visited her twice. The first time, we made out a lot, but I wasn't comfortable losing my virginity 24 hours after my first kiss. The second time she broke up with me.

>>18319775
yes anon definitely try to kiss her. she obviously likes you if she's willing to go on another date with you.

just be mature about it. first and foremost do NOT try to kiss her when people are around. make sure you're in a nice, private spot together.

second if you're unsure as to whether or not you should kiss her, there's no shame in asking if you can

>>18319775
also situation kinda matters. what did you plan to do for your second date together?

>>18319959
>A lot of people aren't looking to invest that much time and emotion into a relationship. If one or both people are in this situation, then it's a good idea to move as fast as possible

Well duh, I've had my share of fwbs and one night stands too.

Hell, one of my favorite sexual experiences was with a girl who was moving half a thousand miles away the exact same weekend I met her (the ironic thing being, a mutual friend had been trying to set us up for years). We started chatting, dug each other, had some fun, made a good memory, then said good bye and good luck in the morning.

But that has absolutely nothing to do with OPs situation and what OP thinks he wants out of this.

>>18319928
>If I just FUCKING kissed her.

That wouldn't have fixed your dumbassery. You weren't ready to kiss her because that wasn't within your capabilities at the time. The fact that you're hung up over this THREE YEARS LATER speaks pretty strongly to this.

Even if you did, you probably been cringey as fuck and you would have bit her lip, or tried to slam your tongue down her throat, or given her a brotherly peck or some dumb shit. See? I can play the what if game too in the other direction.

The lack of a kiss was not your problem. The fact that you had no balls the entire night was the problem.

Shit almost never comes down to one moment. Even when it looks like it does, it's actually the culmination of a hundred other fucking small things.

This is ESPECCIALLY turn when dealing with women, because for women it's not about the grand gestures,it's about the consistent flow of events that back everything up.

everything you did this night told her your behavior wasn't something she was in to. If she did like you, or you showed signs of potential anywhere else, she probably would have stuck by.

Hell, I had a first kiss in a similar circumstance to yours. Difference was, she dug the rest of what I was doing. So when I spilled spaghetti, she shut ME up with a kiss.

>>18320036
Yeah, you're right, probably
But it's what I choose to focus on as my failing.
I'm a coward when it comes to women.
I know it's probably not the first or last strike with her
And I'm not hung up (that much) on her

It's just emblematic on my inadequacies.
I don't like touching people.
People like being touched most of the time

Me mum used to joke about how whenever she went to kiss me I'd back away. She'd say "Oi, it's like I used ta beat ya"
She didn't.
But still.
I hate being touched. But I also want it more than everything.

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>>18320052
>I hate being touched. But I also want it more than everything

>>18320070
How the heck is John Hurt on there but no Tom Baker? Hell, Tenant is on there three times but not even once for Baker? What is this shit?

>>18320052
>it's what I choose to focus as my failing

And that's where you're fucking up. Instead of treating it all as a learning experience, looking at the whole thing, and choosing to improve, you're beating yourself up over one one.

You are distracting yourself and using it as a crutch so you don't have to face the reality that not everything is that dramatic. That there ISNT one moment. That you have to undergo a systematic change in mentality, and that that change is MUCH more complex than fixing one thing like, "Do not be hesitant to touch her or be physical".

You are trying to oversimplify because you are being lazy/are afraid of putting in hard effort because if you do and fail, well then what?

No.

You must go do shit, you just fail. You must do shit that scares you til you get over it.

Stop making excuses to save your own ego and just fucking go do scary shit that terrifies you specifically to get over it. Resolve yourself to fail, do it, and repeat until you stop giving a shit and are numb to the fear.

>>18319969
>do NOT try to kiss her when people are around.
This is a good tip. Thanks anon

>>18320001
Good question. We didn't make any solid plans yet. Is a movie a good idea? It would be a private place but I don't know if she'd be into sucking face the whole movie.

>>18320052
>I hate being touched. But I also want it more than everything.

iktf anon

>>18319775

>17 here

I have no clue either brother, I've never had a gf.

but I do know a lot of guys are gonna reccommend you be more dominant.

woman biology etc.

you'll probably fuck up...

>unless you don't

>>18320144
>you'll probably fuck up...
>>unless you don't
Hmmm, good advice.

>>18320136
yeah. having your first kiss where people are around just sounds needlessly awkward.

a private movie would be great. but please for the love of god don't pick anything that's sad/depressing, a rom-com, horror etc.

you can always sorta give her the incentive to /not/ watch the movie too by picking a meme movie that you've both seen or something that's just really fucking stupid so you both feel comfortable talking through.

Let me hop in and say that it all depends on the girl. Don't just jump in and go straight for a kiss, start off gradually. Pace yourself don't come on too aggressive but also don't be distant. Show that you're interested in her. Most girls like jokes even corny ones, so keep some in mind and let them out throughout the night. If you have a smooth shot go for the hand grab. Example: you open the door for her and guide her in while holding her hand. Really it all comes down to you broskie. Don't be scared to make a mistake because guess what, you're going to make some. Pay attention to her show her some affection. Stay off your phone during dates. And smile keep a positive vibe. I hope I helped even in the slightest

-eye