I'm adopted.

That sucks, but you should visit her.
Your adoptive parents lied to you probably to protect you; would you have liked to hear you were a product of rape as a child or a teen? You're an adult so you'd probably take it better, even if it is hard to take in.

Don't hate your biological mom for giving you up, she was probably going through a lot of emotional pain when giving birth to you and having you. Not sure, but she may dislike you because you are a product of the pain in her life, BUT the fact that she has kept in contact with your adoptive parents means she does somewhat care about your well-being.

Your adoptive parents love you, and most likely, because your biological mother is still in touch with your parents, she also does care.

Meet her and put an end to your anger and frustration, you will never get this past your shoulders if you never approach it.

>>18318223
>that I'm a product of rape.
You're a product of dicking, like everyone else too. How it happened has no relation to you, it's not like you had any say in the matter or even existed at that point.

>To me though my adoptive mom is my "real" mom so I find it incredibly difficult to accept all of this
Well, she is your real mother in everything but giving birth to you.

>At the same time, knowing my mother was raped and knowing she suffered for my sake makes me feel like I'm obligated to talk to her.
Nah, you don't owe her anything. She suffered because of her shitty father, not because of you.

Though as for the question, I'd talk to her. What do you have to lose in doing it? You don't know what you can get by getting to know her but not getting to know her is something you're very likely to regret. In best case scenario, you might win and end up with two loving mothers.

>>18318223

That sucks man. The parents who you've known as your parents will always be your parents. They loved you enough to adopt you and give you somewhat of a normal life and that's saying something. They kept this secret for you is pretty fucked up but this is a common thing to do.

>A product of rape
I'm pretty sure all of us are at some point down the family tree, a product of rape. Rape happens 1/4 women and some of them are bound to be knocked up and produce one of us suckers. It's your life man. You define you, not your past or who your biological parents are.

>Should I talk to my biological mother?
Do this when you're ready. Don't talk to this woman just because your mom told you to. You can choose to on your own terms and that will help you own this experience. Fuck these people who make babies, adopt at their leisure, tell the truth at their whim. You don't owe anyone anything and you certainly did not cause any of their problems.

I hope this helps you feel a little better about yourself. I can tell you that being adopted into foster care and being passed around can be a lot worse. Own your current life and experiences.

You don't owe her anything. Regardless of the circumstances, she isn't your mother. She gave you up, she isn't owed anything. If you're not comfortable with it, just forget about her.

>>18318269
it's true he doesn't owe here anything, but if he let's this go it will haunt him forever

you can't fucking forget that you're a rape baby, just let him visit her and cut loose ends.

Be wary of meeting your biological mother because you might fall in love with her.

>>18318223
the best way to handle the whole situation right now, is to get in contact with your mom, slowly and steadily become more friendly with her and then have sex with her.

you cannot break the cycle op, its meant to be.

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>>18318282
>Be wary of meeting your biological mother because you might fall in love with her.

Have sex with her OP.

You have the right to do what YOU want to do. This isn't about making your bio mother happy or your adopted mother happy. Do what YOU want to do. A good compromise is to ask your adopted mother for your bio mom's contact info and tell her if and when you want to contact her you will.

t. father of four adopted kids

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>>18318286
>>18318470
Actually it's not that he will fall for her
It's her who will fall in love with him.
This happens when a woman was raped as a child, she tends to develop physical and emotional affinity to her child.

Boardwalk empire explored this theme. Needless to say, that fucked the her child up permanently, thus continue the chain.
https://youtu.be/9QiB56KE9Io?t=15
pretty painful to watch.

>>18318223
Apparently I was adopted too anon.

I just don't have any biological parents. I was made.

Wrap your fucking mind around that.

>>18318223
The family who adopted you were there for you when others weren't. They took care of you and saw you grow. Family to me consists of individuals who were by my side, not those who were genetically similar to me. They never gave you up and truly care about you (if they didn't take your feelings/confusion into account they would have told you earlier.)

>t. Adopted anon

You don't have to do anything right away. Sort out your feelings first then contact your birth mom if you want to. Or don't, it's totally up to you.

>>18318713
H-homunculus?

Honestly, this is a harsh one. For me, if I were you, the harsher part would be the incest-rape child, like this is pretty obscure and dark, I sometimes even feel some guilt because my father married my mother only because of me, but your situation is even worse.
If I were your parents, I would never go as far and tell you that.
But nobody chose how to be born.
Your mother has been through a lot of shit, maybe you will become a sunshine in her life.
So be very grateful to your adoptive parents forever, visit your mom and accept your birth circumstances.

Your biological mother doesn't have any guilt in this situation, could be very dangerous to you to raise on the same house with a rapist, she just made the best decision for your future and because of that you should be grateful. You have a mother that loved you during your childhood and a biological mother that cared about you since the birth through your entire life.

Just bought some flowers and make both of your moms happy.

You know, I bet if you old your biological mother that you don't blame her or think any less of her it would mean the world.

What a shit situation.

>>18319146
annnnddddd
OP,
I wonder who my biological parents are. I wonder if I even have any.

At least you're not like.... the son of hitler or a clone of him.

>>18318223
wait till you're calmer until you decide.
You don't have to meet your biological mother if you don't want to, but don't rule it out yet.
Be strong OP

>>18318223
I just want to emphasise something I haven't seen emphasised yet. All these things you're feeling right now, talk to your adoptive parents about them. They seem like pretty cool people, and they've been along for this ride all this time just as much as you've been dragged into it. Tell them how you feel, why you feel that way, talk it all through with them. Right now you seem like you're still processing everything, you're still reeling from the shock of what you've learned and don't know what to do or how to feel, and that's absolutely fine Anon, that's the natural human reaction, but they can help you get through it and get it all sorted in your head.

Take your time to think over what you need to think over and feel what you need to feel, get it all processed so you can think it through straight, then decide what you want to do. Not what anyone else wants you to do, what you want to do.

Another thing I'll say worth noting is that I know a few people who were adopted, and they were completely abandoned. By the sounds of it your biological mother has been keeping in touch with your mom in order to keep tabs on you, see how you're doing from a distance, and regardless of obligation or guilt this would make her a pretty fucking cool person as well. Be sure to speak to your mom about your biological mother and find out more about her before making any solid decisions. And don't rush into a decision. Think it all through, feel what you need to feel, learn what you need to learn, talk it through with your parents, then go from there. One step at a time.

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>>18318223
Hey bro,

Whatever you chose to do, make sure it's what YOU and you alone want to do, if you don't want to contact you bio-mother, don't, it's that simple.

If you do, make sure to tell her that you don't blame her for giving you up, despite her not being in any way guilty of anything, these things still cause a lot of guilt amongst people, even though she did nothing wrong, telling her that it's not her fault would probably be a great burden lifted for her.

Also, remember that despite the circumstances surrounding your conception, you're no less important than anybody else, so don't ever feel that way about yourself.

You also have to remember, that even though your parents aren't biological, they are are still your parents just as much as anybody else's.

Honestly I commend your parents for the adoption, it shows how good hearted they are. And I think your bio mother made the best decision, if it was somebody else they may have even considered abortion.

Putting a child up for adoption so they can live a happy life with a family that loves them is always an alternative to abortion that is rarely considered.

I hope you can come to terms with this soon anon!! Don't let this get in the way of living your life.

Give her a chance, shes probably a good lady.

>>18318247
This, OP. Good insight.

>>18318223
You're biological mom probably feels awkward as shit too man, just meet her and go from there. In fact she might turn out to be amazing and you could end up with +1 more person who cares about you more then anything in the world which is pretty cool desu.

>>18318223
Like others have said, it would be a good idea to see your biological mother, but you should give yourself time first. Remember - you are still the same person you were before you knew about this. The circumstances of your birth are completely unimportant and they don't define you as a human. What you do with your life is what matters.

>>18318223
Don't make this complicated.
>It feels like my family has been turned upside down
Nothing has changed. You've always been a "product of rape" and it hasn't affected anything and it doesn't affect anything now.

>I feel like I've been lied to, I know that's not how it is and my adoptive parents were not trying to do that
What like they forgot to mention it? Of course they lied to you! All kids are lied to. It's completely normal.

>Should I talk to my biological mother?
It doesn't make any difference so do whatever you feel like. It's like talking to any relative you haven't met before. If your moms want it do it for them.