Write letters, vent, let it out, /adv/

https://youtu.be/ujh_Y6IjAaE

>>18314613
nice meme song

>>18314675
Thank you. I like it, too.

I'm on my way to her house right now, hopefully the surprise isn't unwelcome. Wish me luck, anons.

Race is not just a social construct. It is a social construct in that we have connected social connotations, stereotypes, and beliefs to races, but another facet of race is biological. You can't have one without the other.

The loneliness has resurfaced...

>>18314688
Yes, and? Did you try to argue with an SJW or something?

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I just admitted to my aunt about how I went looking for a gun that used to be in the house and her response was to laugh and say that’s how she is with sweets. Wtaf. No mental illness and suicide is not like a sweet craving… and its not funny. I've been in and out of hospitalization for a decade for suicidal thoughts and actions. Its no secret to anyone who knows me that I can't be around guns. I finally opened up to my aunt who I live with that I searched my grandfather's whole room like a heroin addict who knows theres a free bag in there. And she laughs at me. Kind of fucking frustrating

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Had a couple depressing dreams last night.
First one involved the girl I'm into telling me she has a boyfriend. Pretty much my brain being an asshole.

Second was a little more interesting. I had friends who were all a year older than me. There was also this pretty trashy girl that hung out with us that was into me. Anyway, I was laying in bed with her and she was coddling me (I wasn't into her at all) and commented on how she liked the old, energetic, smiling me better and not the low energy, depressed me. The thing is, I never changed. That high energy, smiling me was just a facade. When she told me that, I thought "oh man, I let my facade down, better put it back up" and I ended up ignoring all my friends and not wanting to be with them (I don't have any friends in real life).

Dreams tend to be information funnels so they can be good windows into your own consciousness but man, that dream threw me into a loop. What if my forced smiles, attempts at being energetic with others really is a facade to convince myself I'm happy? What else am I hiding from myself? Do the things that make me happy, actually make me happy? Or are they just things that temporarily lift the weight off my shoulders?

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When something is broken?
>fix it
>buy a new one

I have a new girlfriend now but I won't tell you because I know how much it would hurt you. Even though you crushed me in such a cruel way, I never said anything mean to you during the relationship and I won't start now.

Want to message my ex but I know it'd only cause trouble so i'll say it here
Lindsay, I wish we didn't get the abortion. You would have been a great mother and I would have been a proud dad. I hope your new man treats you well. I will always love you.

I got the girl, I think. Severe trust issues (hers) are a hell of a drug.

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Recently, I've been feeling so good about myself that I wonder if I suffered from depression in earlier years.

god i miss you so much. i just just fucking wanna cry everytime i think about you. why did you have to leave me? i can change, ill be whatever you want just please come back to me

>tfw you bullshit some armchair psychology and actually get to the root of a friend's emotional issues
I helped someone today.

I want to fuck single mom's around my age(25) and give them false hope that everytime we fuck she hopes that i want a relationship and it gets me hard just thinking about it, what the fuck is wrong with me?

>>18314761
It's ok. I recently moved in with mine and deleted the dating apps I had installed to concentrate on him.
I'm happy and relieved that you are as well even when you generally said unkind things to me when we were together. I'm unsure why you're portrayingyourself to be a good guy now, even still I pray you treat her better than you did me and your ex-fiancée.

I've come to the point where I feel like everything I do is retarded and I need 4chan's validation before doing anything (or not doing it). I'm very insecure and axious about the most mundane stuff. I need advice for everything and need to know I'm doing something that's acceptable and the right thing to do all the time. I feel like every time I follow my gut I'm doing it wrong.

>>18315120
you need to take a leap of faith

Doug Haines, you should just kill yourself already.

You are literally surrounded by the world's nicest, most caring family. You have a husband who dotes on you. You don't have to work and nobody judges you for it. But still, you are depressed. When you have a job, you're depressed. You lost all of your weight with surgery and you're STILL fucking obsessed with gaining weight (again). The world is your god damn oyster and you still find something to bitch about. And when you don't have anything to bitch about, you bitch about how you don't deserve the life you have.

I just don't get depression.

>>18314744
Oh anon. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad you didn't find it. Your life has meaning. Don't leave before your time. I hope things get better for you and that you are able to get your depression under control. It's a hard fight, but it will be worth it.

I like having a cute girl to crush on, because it compels me to improve myself. Not that that's the only reason for it - I do want to exercise and eat better for myself as well, but having an external goal gives even more reason to do so and provides an outsider reminder.

So, thanks cute girl at work.

I gotta get this shit off my chest fuck. I still really like you and I know you know that and maybe that kills you cause you ain't look at me that way but that's it. I gotta let you know my feelings cause over the past couple months I still feel that same way if not more, and maybe I'm just too immature but I've been holding this down in my mind for too long. dating me won't be fucked like my last relationship that was just bad chemistry, mismatched morals and logic. I knows we would work, but if you really still don't like me, even tho we best friends and have been fairly close for awhile now, got shitloads in common from interests to morals, being able to make you laugh literally at any time. I don't get the friend zone, I'm not even bad looking, this kind of shit hurts my head like literally someone who's gotten out of the friend zone give me some tips or something fuck. I'd say I'm about a 7 tho fuck it maybe I'm just not good enough

S, im sorry about being dramatic last night making you worried about me with my on going family issues that boiled over late last night. I had no one to turn to so I figured you were someone I could vent with.

you didn't have much to say about it I understand and im sorry for bringing the mood down on your fun night. Just hearing your voice helped me calm down. It was a late night for you and you needed to get sleep so I understand you wanting to talk at another convenient time.

I get it if you're losing interest or don't want to reciprocate the same feelings of care and concern, but just know id happily race through the night again to come get you like that one time when you were crying your eyes out and your friends ditched you. Im here for you, if you aren't for me that's fine, but ill always be in your corner.

>>18315239
I am curious, are you male?

>>18315344
yes, 21 year old male.

So I'm a male aged 25 and I have a problem.

Pre-cum. I produce WAY too much of it. I've been dating this girl and every time we finish making out I look down and there's this huge blot in my pants. It's disgusting.

It's been happening ever since I started being sexually active (around 17) but I thought it was normal. Turns out it really isn't and now I want it gone.

I've read that Kegel exercises (basically clenching your butthole for a few seconds) helps with that. I've also read that it makes it even worse.

What should I do?

>>18315363
https://www.walmart.com/c/kp/adult-diapers

>>18314604
Why am I only attracted to women who are already in relationships.... every damn time!

I have a friend who I had a very complicated relationship with. We both had feelings for each other, but she ultimately ended up feeling differently and nothing really happened, but we were still very close and intimate to the point that it felt like we were together.
After a brief holiday in Scandinavia, I reflected on our relationship and realized that she had treated me quite awfully, in ways I won't go into for the sake of brevity, but I concluded that she abused me emotionally, and I've stopped speaking to her altogether (after yelling and swearing at her in public)
The main problem I face is that we work together in a small building with about 20 people so I see her all the time and it just makes me feels angry and frustrated. I cant even quit for at least a year because I'm being funded to complete an important qualification.
Is there anything I can do other than just ignoring her and casting her out of my mind?

tl;dr: I work with my psycho ex, what do?

Don't hurt yourself.

>>18315167
That's just not how depression works. It's all chemicals. Everything you do, everything you think, it's all chemicals and neurons. Someone that is depressed has fucked up wiring or chemical imbalance (either too much or too little).

It's a bug in their software and/or hardware. They run the code for happiness but the bug prevents the code from running successfully. The chemicals are prevented from either being created or received.

Antidepressants are suppose to fix the bug that prevents someone from living normally. The problem is, the human mind is complex as fuck and everyone is different. That's a lot of debugging and it's mostly trial and error.

>I just don't get depression
Clearly.

Think about people like Robin Williams or Kurt Cobain. They had everything but they were still depressed. They still just wanted to die as that was the only escape they thought they had.

There are a lot of different types of depression too. Again, the human mind is extremely complex and there are a lot of things that can go wrong in it's coding.

>>18315446
Don't hurt yourself, big guy

Femanons in 4chan are the most dumb, awkward, stupid, attention whores (the definition of autism and BPD) i've come across.
Fuck tinder, fuck meetme, fuck facebook and even real girls. This is the worst way to meet girls. They fucking thing they are depressed and the only thing they do is seek for attention.

You dumb girl get off your bed, stop talking about your mommy and get to study if thats what you want to do. Fit board have made you a fascist, always talking about how you work out and calling me midget. Girl I'm taller than you. You are not weird, not even special. I stopped talking to you to see if you would open chat but you didnt' thats why I was mad. Stop seeking for attention and stop talking about your brother, its like you are having sex with him or something. Also you need to be more openminded, this is 2017. And also, please go outside. The whitest, the most fascist youll become so better some sun in that face.

You dumb bitch seeking for attention always saying things like "idk, what do i do with my life? i dunno, im apathetic" You are fucking 18. Stop complaining. Being shy to internet people. Are you this dumb? You kiked me dont you? Arent you up for chat? I'm not gonna be asking all the question you dumb bitch. A relationship is based on 2 people talking. I've said several times that if you dont talk to me it IS ok but you didnt. Stop seeking for attention.

This isn't even a real issue or anything but I need to get it off my chest anyway so fuck it why not.
My very attractive friend from work split with her boyfriend around a month ago, and around a week after that we met up on a night out and ended up making out a ton.
I asked her if it was just a one time thing or something else (for whatever reason I took a couple weeks to ask her) and she said she didn't know yet because she didn't want to rush into anything after just coming out of a relationship. She said she couldn't say just yet. I think that's fair enough, especially considering that from what I understand, the ex was a bit of an asshole.
But now I just really don't know what to do. I'm attracted her and if she's interested I'd like to see what happens. But I don't know what I'm supposed to do from here.
Do I just wait for her to make her mind up? Do I flirt with her? Do I treat her as a friend until I hear otherwise? Was she just trying to let me down nicely?
I don't want to be a dick and keep bothering her because what she said makes sense and it's cool that she needs time to think but I don't know how long I'm supposed to wait.
I have no idea how any of this shit works.
Also, if it's relevant, I know she's turned down other guys since it happened. I'm pretty certain I'm the only person she's done anything with since her breakup.

A letter to 13 year old.

K,

I know that you're having a rough time now, transferring to higher school, biking 11km instead of the normal 5 minutes you took before going to middle school through.
You will like the school with the teachers, not so much for all the other kids that are in that school but you will survive.
I know that the first year will be very tough on you as you will go into a deep depression because of all the bullying you will receive for people you don't even know, from people who are not even in your classroom.
The first Harry Potter movie will come out this year, and because you wear the same round glasses and got the same haircut the whole school will start calling you that but it will pass untill they find something better to bully you with.

Remember going to that school councelor for advice? Yeah i sure do it sucked big time, you don't want to baww your eyes out to a complete stranger. You hate going to the institution for talking to another complete stranger since mom will find that letter that you wrote and left on your desk on purpose for a cry of help, but this is all necesarry i guess as that day you will realise that this is not the path you want to walk down you will realise that the suicidal thought is not the answer. You will get through that rough time alive. The friend group that you will have are just as social outcasts as you are and that is OK, you can laugh and play games with them just having a good time without any judging, the skater clothes will go once you get older and some nice fitting clothes will come in return.

You will get your first job at the supermarket, you won't like it at first and you will even be on the edge of getting fired but you will meet new people, you will make very good friends with a twin who is working there, don't be afraid to follow their advice even though they can be full of shit sometimes but you gotta look through it, they will stick with you through thick and thin as they have been in the

>>18315535
same shoes as you have been so they recognize themselves in you and they will guide you further in your life. Just... take it easy on the drugs, experimenting is fine, and the feeling is good, you went to a bad place once while being on drugs but you will learn who your real friends are, they will show themselves, cherish them as they will play a big part in your life.

Just remember, people suck in general, just ignore the ones that do and keep a hold of the ones who don't, a chosen few but that's all you need.

Love and cherish your family as your brothers and sister love and cherish you aswell, it might not seem like it at this time as the world Is one bad place but eventually you will understand.

Hang in there buddy.

28 yr old K

A letter to 12 year old:
If you keep going like that your first kiss will happen only after 10 years, even though you were one of the first boys interested in it
Enjoy your fucked up puberty, I love you

Why does everyone hate me?

>>18315168
Thank you anon. Im slowly finding my purpose. I just hate being misunderstood when I open up about my illness.

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Happy mother's day, Melania Trump.

Hope everyone's having a wonderful day out there as well!

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It's that time of the day.
When the sun hides, and the joy vanishes.
When I realise I just had the same week like all the others.

But don't worry. It will start all over again.
The cycle will begin anew in a couple hours.
While I watch the skies getting dark.

"It all will get better"
That's what I always hear, read, say.
While I'm just here, sitting on my bed crying, surrounded by the same mournful aspect of the room.

The sky stopped being blue.
I switched to Tomorrow.
And I flopped onto the bed.

Tomorrow'll be another day.

Fuck everyone. I'm tired of living this shit out. I'll probably never kill myself, which leaves me trapped in this fucking piece of crap we call Earth. I can't hate anyone but myself and I can love anyone but myself, which is something that fucked me up in the head. Fuck everyone for being part of my fucking personal hell. I'm tired of living, but WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO? I need fucking help. Please. Fuck this shit.

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>>18315766
Why are you me

I miss you. I still fucking miss you. I miss you and you don't miss me. I miss you and I don't know why. I miss you so much and I need to stop.

I say everything that I can. I lie and talk about how it's no big deal. I tell everyone with a smile that you meant nothing to me.

If I hate you then I can't love you, right? Then I'll hate you. I'll hate you with the force of a thousand suns and hate you until I die. I never want to see you again, but I need you desperately. I hate you so much because I still love you more than anything.

I'm afraid that I meant it when I said forever.

Here's that song you liked. I forgot to tell you the name of it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tz4xJWbY9s

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>>18315766
Me, except you're sincere to yourself. I still have the "feeling" I'm improving. I'm trapped in a lying cycle where I destroy every progress I do.

Tomorrow is another day. Never a new one, but another one.

>>18315827
https://youtu.be/Ts7FQaVULRs

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>>18315870
Anon, this is fucking me up. I used to play piano for her. I used to play this song for her. All the time. It was her favorite.

She doesn't use 4chan. She doesn't even know how the internet really works. What is happening? My world just started spinning.

FUCKING TALK TO ME YOU FUCKING PRICKS.

IVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ANY OF YOU WHEN YOU WERE DOWN, FED YOU FUCKS WHEN YOU COULDNT AFFORD FOOD, DROVE YOU DUMBASSES BEFORE YOU COULD TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES.

All I want is a friend.

I hope I get high and that my psychosis doesn't come back to haunt the shit out of me again. People are not reading my fucking mind. I tell that to myself without actually believing it 100% but what can I do? People around me are not reading my fucking mind. Stop it.

I've been in so much pain since yesterday. It hurts that you don't care. It hurts that you never wanted to be friends and lead me on for months.

You're trying to bed someone who is only attracted to their sex. You pursue them because you enjoy the thrill of the chase, conquering someone, and moving on to (what you consider to be) "the next best thing". Your existence has to be validated somehow to till the empty void your father left you with. Your life and choices are embarrassing. I bet *omitted* is turning in their grave. You're a disgrace and an abomination to your family. I still wish you and your family the best.

>>18315918
Fill*

To my love, I'm sorry for everything I've done that hurt you or made you angry. I'm a mess. An emotional mess full of insecurities and fears and I can't fight them. I'm weak. I love you. You're the one person in my life that has made me truly happy.

To my best friend, you've been there since we first met in 4th grade. We've had our ups and downs, but despite all of it we've ended up being friends through it. I'd be proud to call you my brother, though I wouldn't expect anyone to ever say the same about me.

To true grace, you came into my life only a few months ago, but in that time you've proven to be one of the best people I've ever met. You're nice, even to trash like myself. Thank you for putting up with me.

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I just wanted to have a job in the area that I have passion for. Entry level stuff, I'd be willing to serve the coffee if necessary.

It's not that I don't want to work, I just don't want to go in a hole and die feeling miserable without doing what I enjoy most in a professional way.

I'm not stupid, when you tell me you're with your friends every night but when I ask how it went or what you did you won't talk about it when I'm being polite

Or how when this went on for so long I felt left out and neglected and vulnerable, I saw your friends at the bar with my friends and you weren't even with them, I questioned them, they denied you seeing them more than once a week at most

Now I notice you hide your phone, your laptop, etc

Admit it and come clean before I'm forced to be the bad guy and press the issue

I'm so tired. I'm just so tired of keeping up with the mood swings, with the diaries, with the tracking, with the medication, with the exercise, with the sleep patterns, with the reaching out. I feel very objective and don't see the point of living being bipolar. I have friends and am set for in life, finishing college but this is sucking me dry and not allowing me to be anything stable. I don't wanna pass this on, I want a life partner, but being a burden seems selfish, people like having me around but at times I can't bear any of it at all. I get dumber day by day, feel my cognition wearing down with depression and my emotions dulling with the medication. There was potential and hope but it's been too far gone as I get older, something needs to end, please

>>18315875
It was crazy while it lasted. Thanks >>18315870 for posting that. I have no idea how you knew.

I'm almost willing to accept a job in Vermont for minimum wage as long as it gets me out of Mississippi.

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I don't know how normies operate or meet each other. It seems like they just meet someone, skip the friendship bit, and go straight to relationships/fucking

How do they do it? How can you spend your time and money on someone you probably wont even like?

>>18316004
I think some things just happen for a reason. You may not know what that reason was, but I'm sure one day you'll look back and figure it out.

I love you and want to give you everything.

To Z on

my chest keeps tightening and I feel as If it is being sucked into a black hole. I don't feel like crying. but I feel this pain all the time...I feel like I cannot breath in deeply or i might go into that void so i take short small breaths ....I hate it and even more for the reason it happens. I threw away my humanity for a moment of fun that includes my heart. now I have no heart and my humanity is lost. how do i find it alone? and with this weakness.

>>18316014
Well, it's rather easy. Exactly what you said, but they don't expect/know anything deeper than that "contratual fucking". Most settle for "acceptable" partners. Acceptable is good for some people.

>waste time and money on acceptable?

I have no idea how/why they do it.

>>18316018
You sound just like her. Thank you.

Still no meds for me then?

Why should I do anything for you people? You stole my entire life from me. You tortured me on purpose for your own greed. You continue to fuck with me and refuse to give up any little thing that would actually help me.

So again, why the fuck should I help you?

What would happen if I killed myself then? Would your fragile world fall apart?

>>18316060
Yes, it would.

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My dearest G,

We have been spending so much time with you in a foreign country, foreign university, foreign life.

Somehow, youre the closest thing to home I have had here. The cigarettes we smoke together, the brief coffees before class...


These brief moments with you stole my heart. We are so distant yet so close.

I try to deny my feelings for you every day, but then the dreams I have with you are very explicit. I wake and I know that I want you.

Back in February, when you left her, a part of me was happy, but I never tried for I knew that I have no chance with you, and I am bound by my LDR with L. We both know that this relationship is gone anyway.

I want you. I need you to know that. You made my stay here so much more bearable just because you were here. I will miss you when you leave for the states in a week and a half, and I hope i will see you in class next semester.

If you only gave me a chance, i would leave him for you. I want you to make love to me, and to want me as much as I want you.

The sound of your name plays in my head over and over and I cant sleep again, thinking of you.

S

the only thing preventing me from driving away is that it would be entertaining for you people.

And I don't want to be your entertainment.

>>18316054
I almost feel like I know you from a different life. I know that sounds insane. But this whole coincidence is rather crazy.

>>18316075
Initials? I'm LL.

In the long run, I think both of us are going to come out fine from this internet fling of sorts and it's inevitably anticlimatic yet sad conclusion. Neither of us had ever done anything like it, so we were both shooting in the dark the entire time, but obviously things were doomed to fail. At the start I guess I was a bit nonchalant. I figured I didn't want to show much interest or, you know, literally be interested. The prospect of having a QT to play Vidya with was nice, but at the time I was coming out of a long binge of depression, and it was odd because as soon as my head got above water, there you were.

The entire thing has helped me learn a lot about myself and what I seek in a partner, which was something that had eluded me for a while. I loved that you would sit and talk to me about anything while being witty and creative in your way of expression. We also had similar life experiences, which was validating in its own right. Honestly I haven't really clicked with someone like that in a while. Most women don't quite fit with me and I struggle to relate. Not with you, though. I understood and trusted you, and I liked that. That you were ridiculously qt in all your pictures slammed it home. You would have made a great girlfriend.

It's unfortunate what happened to you, and that you have to make a huge change to your long term plan. I realize why that means what we are doing is no longer appropriate or possible. I also realize why we can't be friends, too. I'm sorry how it worked out. But I know you'll be fine. I hope we cross paths again.

I hope I didn't scare you away last night.

I was emotional due to the circumstances and the ongoing situation with my family I was in. I was just upset and needed to talk to someone much like you've done yourself with me.

I know you didn't have much to say because it was strange no doubt. I didn't mean to bring the mood down on your night, you seemed to be having fun on your trip and im grateful for the time you took out to speak to me.

I just don't want you to think im this needy sappy mess because Im not. It was something special for me being able to comfort you and calm you down during finals week and all those stressors you had to deal with on top of that. I just don't want you to be freaked out by me.

>>18316007
Do it. Vermont is the best

I've completely fallen out of love with my wife. I still want to love her, but despite my best efforts I can't force it. I really just wish someone would just shoot me.

I love you. It's getting harder not to admit it to you. Last night on the phone would have been a good opportunity for you to fill me in on your feelings, but you're still inscrutable. I like being your friend enough not to mess with it, though!

>>18316092
LH

>>18316181
Strange. Must be another life I guess. I hope everything works out for you femanon.

>>18316190
I hope everything works out for you too

Sometimes it's so hard to talk to you. Why are you always such a jerk? You can't always get your way.

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After years of trying to at least pretend to have real emotions I've came to the terms that I am incapable of having a real functioning normal life. I know now that in order to survive I must fake every feeling, I must say the exact opposite of what I'm really thinking. It's funny because I remember back when I was normal, when I was very young. Yet when I really think about it I never understood what some emotions felt like, I just tried real hard and just assumed what I felt was what everyone else did. My life as of now has been hell, no real thought, no joy, just a hollow shell that is just waiting to die. Their are things that bring me joy, yet I was raised on Christian values and always pushed away those thought simply because I didn't want to go to hell, now I really don't care otherwise. I now will embrace my true self and the world will hate me, that I know, but I am going to live the way I want dammit. I just have to be smarter then most. This is the only warning I'm giving. What comes next will only truly be known to me.

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I don't know what to do anymore, I feel so dejected and lost in life. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I just want to meet someone I can actually connect with and not just have it be a quick fling. Everyone else seems so happy and I'm not happy anymore.

I don't have anything I would like to get off my chest but I am still making this post. Why?

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>>18316243
You know what brings me immense joy? Donuts

>>18316303
you said it. everybody seems happy, but they are not. they lie themselves over and over again. glad you realized first.

happiness will come from you, not from others. stop looking them, they are fake.

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I care way more about cats and anime characters than people. What the fuck is wrong with me?

>>18314604
God why do you make me feel this way? Why did you ever come into my life? Showed me what I wanted in a women before I ever knew? I had to remind myself to breath upon seeing you. I stumbled like a newborn child around you, trying to find the proper words to speak to you. I did not try to sway you with childish displays of love but tried to open myself to you. Trying to get you to see the me I hide from the world out of fear because for some reason something inside me demanded that you look at me. I wanted you to look at me. Not see the clumsy man others see but the me I hide under sarcasm and an air of indifference.
And before I knew it you penetrated my innermost thoughts like gum stuck on a shoe. The less I tried to think of you the more you demanded my attention. Ridiculous! I don't see you as perfection. I don't project a fantasy. I see your flaws. You see mine. You aren't the one. Nor do I care if you are. All I know is what I feel when I see you. And right now, I need more of you.

>>18316365
If they're not the one, don't bother.

>>18315114
Because im not who you're thinking of.

>>18316399
I am well aware, it's been something I've been holding back for a few months and I guess I projected when I read your post. Sorry if it was bothersome.

>>18316393
That's the thing. I think she's great, she showed me qualities I've liked but never given thought to. She seems to be interested in me as well but I give myself to pause because I feel she's out of my league. But this can all just be momentary passion, the flare of a fire that disappears in a blink. I do not know the future all that I know is that I need more of her.

I LOST ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU AND I AM HAPPIER WITH MAKING NEW FRIENDS, I AM CURRENTLY JUST BECAME FRIENDS WITH ONE OF YOUR CLOSE GAMER FRIENDS BUT YOU NEVER INTRODUCED ME TO HIM HE CAME UP TO ME AND HE IS MUCH MORE BETTER, DETAILED, SWEETER AND LESS NEEDY AND BITCHY THAN YOU, I LOVE YOU BUT I REALLY HATE YOU A LOT MORE BECAUSE YOU'VE EMOTIONALLY DROWNED ME, I LIVE OFF OF THE SUPPORT OF MY FRIENDS NO MATTER WHO THEY'RE FRIENDS WITH......

Is life worth living when you strictly follow the phrase "better safe than sorry?"

>>18316496
Is life worth living at all?

>tfw waiting for blood results

I don't know what I'm more scared of, the results being normal or not normal.

>>18316422
Then you shouldn't say such things.

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Fufufufu

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a girl I've had my eyes on for three years now is falling in love with me. how do I tell her I want to be in a relationship without sounding like an autistic sperglord?

>>18316603
when you accidentally reply in a thread instead of posting

>>18316103
...initials?

If I distinctly feel that my doubts are irrationally caused by past experience/trust issues, they probably are and I shouldn't allow them to become pervasive, right?

I've been friends with this guy for like 8 months tops and I can quite happily see us getting married and having fifty adorable Aryan children - something I never once felt with my abusive ex. But I still have these constant "I don't want to be a girlfriend again. This is going to go badly. He's gonna fuck me over too." thoughts popping up.

Mind you, we've only been a 'thing' for all of three days, and we were fine as friends before that.

>>18314604
This girl wants me. I'm kinda afraid. Sure we've slept around before but that was so long ago - and now she messages me out of the blue.

You know... I reached out to you a few months ago hoping to reawaken that connection we had, desperate to feel that intangible thread wrap around our essences and pull us together one last time. As lame as it may sound to you right now, it would have been a tremendous source of comfort for me.

I needed the courage that comes with reciprocity, however, in order to share my bad news.... we haven't truly spoken in so long.

You once told me that you felt an immense relief simply having the knowledge I existed somewhere out here in the great unknown. That I was alive and breathing on this earth in the same time period that you were.

I wonder if you'll even notice a difference when that's no longer the case.

It's not bothering me nearly as much as I thought it would (to think you won't even notice). Maybe I'm feeling a strange bit of relief. If you aren't affected by me anymore, at least not to the degree we've always affected one another, then I'm praying that the old adage "ignorance is bliss" rings true in this case.

You never needed to hear bad news from me, anyway. Just imagine me happy and living well and that's where I'll live on, in your memories forever.

I want you to take care of yourself and be happy always.

I fucking love you, always have and I always will. I'll see you on the other side.

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>>18316535
Sorry.

what does it mean if i like videos of girls jerking off strapons but cant get off to the male form at all

I hope you guys had a terrible go today. Not because I need the esteem boost, but because I'm tired of keeping everyone else's dreams and goals on track.

This music is banging and I wish someone was here to listen to it with me.

I still think about you from time to time. And every time I think about what I did and where we'd be now if I hadn't done it, it tears my heart out and I feel empty.

I just want to cry this out, I've been on the verge of tears all week and it won't come out. I loved you so much, and I still do love you. I would give anything to go back and do this over again. You were so good but I just love sabotaging myself. I just love ruining any good thing I get. I just love to fuck myself over and ruin my own life.

I loved you more than that, though. I loved you so much and I made a bad mistake because I was bored and stupid and maybe I didn't really love you. But if I didn't why do I feel like this, seven years later? Why do i feel like, for what I did to you, i don't deserve to ever be happy again?

I would give anything to try this again, but I know it would never work. But damn me to hell, I still love you and I always will. That wasn't a lie I told to make you feel better. It was the truth, and it still hurts me to this day.

I guess this will never go away. I will just pack it away and try to ignore it, but it'll always be there, haunting me.

I'm ready now to sleep and not wake up

I thought my problems were bad, but it looks like everyone here is in the same boat.

Do one little good thing for just someone and pay attention to what it does to you. Practice this habit, master your mind. God bless you..

Love is on hell of a drug and I'm overdosing

>>18314604
I'm so fucking sorry for the way I've been acting,
It's been day and night with these thoughts I've been having,
It's honestly maddening,
Keep trying to progress,
But my mind just won't have it,
I try to impress but I'm chained by my habits,
Thought we had something, but you threw me away,
Found someone new but my feelings have changed,
I don't think the same,
I really do care but I don't think it matters,
She's going so distant and my mind is in tatters,

Take all of my choices,
Taking all my actions,
The walls are having voices,
My mind is losing traction,

Why did you take my best friend,
Lied to him, made him hate me then acted different in the end,
Act like its all fine and you did nothing wrong,
Still got him fucking cucked, had him chained all along,
Now you're spreading rumors, I'll prolly get jumped,
By a bunch of fucking dindus because they riled up,
Bitches they ain't worth it
they'll fuck you in the end,
Spreading bullshit rumors and lying to your friends

I know I'm a faggot

We have known each other for a while now, and we are great friends. When I romantically pursued you at first, you said you just wanted to remain good friends, and at first I was fine with that. Now, I find myself falling for you more than ever, and you don't even realize it because I do not want to ruin a good thing. You are constantly on my mind and in my thoughts. When I see you, the days just seem better. When we talk, you and I listen to every word each other says without getting bored or changing the subject just for the sake of it. When we are together, I feel a connection that I have not felt with anyone in a long time. You make me smile at times that I never thought I could smile again. I am just afraid that if I try and make another move you will not be as cordial about the situation this go around and I will have lost my best friend. If you only knew how much I loved you for this long that it kills me to keep it bottled up inside. Even writing this right now it hurts but I just needed to get this out somehow. If you were able to read this and just understand that given the chance we would be great together, and that connection we have runs deep.

4 years and i haven't done shit when will I finish what I started
i feel like a failure to my loved ones
fuck man

I can't think. I can't speak. I can barely write or focus... I'm too depressed to hold any weight on any opinion.

I'm stuck inside my own head, when people talk to me I give short monotone replies.

Nothing really matters to me other than getting myself back. I've got out of this before but now I don't remember how I did it, I have no capacity for anything... I can barely follow a movie let alone a conversation. I might as well be the dead walking.

One of the recent threads on /adv/ really got me going and I practically poured my heart into helping some dumb fuck just to realize I've been had. What kind of person makes up stories just to get everyone's sympathy or riled up? I feel so stupid and can't trust anymore lol... Thanks a lot you fucking asshole for being such a terrible person you psycho

Don't be scared, S. I know your history of bad relationship experiences has you on constant guard. We both love each other and in time we'll be ready to jump into this full-bore. These past few months have been incredible, I cant even begin to express the feelings I have when its just us alone in your bed other holding onto each other for dear life as if its the last day on earth.

I wont say that ill wait around, this is the first real connection with a girl ive ever had. But just know whenever you're ready, so am I. Then we can ride off into the sunset.

Until then, I cannot wait to see you this week. You're a rare breed.

Until then,

My laptop broke, it may be the charger, the charger port, or the motherboard. Imy incredibly frustrated that a 2 year old $1700 laptop may cost $430 to repair. And to add to the frustration, the nose guards to my glasses broke as I was attempting to disassemble the laptop.

Additionally, I will have to spend most of my summer in a course that has little to no meaning in my life. My father started teaching a welding program at a community college and I have to take a summer course he teacher because he is too stupid to know the math required of him, which I might add is extremely simple. I am required to spend 8.5 hours a day, 4 days a week in this class and I'm going to dread every minute of it. It will last 2.5 months and I cannot express how much I dread this.

I'm gay and I accidentally got feelings for a guy that isn't coming out of the closet. oops.

What's wrong with me? I don't really know if I feel emotions or not. I find that the only things that I really recognize are when I am either frustrated or sad. I rarely feel anything else. I have to make myself laugh at most of my friends jokes and I don't feel as though I enjoy much more than playing video games and hanging out with 3 people I'm fairly close with. I haven't really experienced much emotion for the past 4 or 5 years and I'm drained. I'm very tired. I have little to no drive or direction. I only do things because I feel as though I don't have an option. I feel as though I am a robot, lacking most of my emotional capacity. I want to feel things. I don't want to kill myself, but I don't want to be alive. I'm afraid that I will never experience emotion again.

I'm 20 and i think I'm starting to realize and accept that I'll be a virgin forever and can never be in a relationship. Not even ugly or antisocial or anything. I just don't click on that level with people, I don't know how to properly express my thoughts and emotions.

Also just had a talk with a girl I used to be Infatuated with, a majority of my experience with girls was with her. I stopped talking to her for a number of reasons. She genuinely seems to care about me. I've been a complete piece of shit to her but don't know if I even feel bad about it. There's so much more I wanted to say to her tonight but I couldn't even begin to explain any of it to her. I also wanted to kiss her but didn't know if it was appropriate for the situation.

>>18316712
You are worth the seven years of pain easily. I have consciously and subconsciously decided this. I'm sorry that I'm crazy, it hasnt made this any easier. I often reflect on what I'd do if you approached me after I've been married.

Im finally living on my own, dating a girl I really enjoy, running around a cool city that's nearby some of the worlds most amazing natural beauty and recreation.

I get scared shitless sometimes, I remember my parents telling me that id struggle moving out because of being extremely ADD and dependent on my family (ive lived at home since forever, im 21 and finally moved out last month), but its all going to be alright I keep telling myself.

Don't be scared, fellow anons. Lifes a trip and we're all in it for the long haul. Enjoy those little moments that make it all worthwhile.

It's strange. You said that you couldn't fix me, but in all this is think you did. I don't feel bad anymore about leaving you when I did. For breaking up with you or the abortion we both agreed on. No, I was right to suggest it. I did what i thought was right, and I should have stuck to my guns. we weren't ready for a child, we weren't really to accept that level of responsibility, no matter how much you acted like the mature one in our relationship.

For months you treated me like shit, when I only wanted to talk things out between us. We broke up you denounced me as needy and immature, was I really? Was i at fault for wanting to spend more than an hour a week with the person I cared and trusted the most? You made me feel like crap for wanting, for something anyone in my position would want. You starved the loyal dog of food and then smacked with a newspaper for being hungry.

I was those things, and I listened to you attack me and release anger of things you held in for years, things that you never made mention of. Things I thought we worked out, or had gotten past. And at first I caved, but I fucked up in doing that. But, you know what, I was at least willing to listen to your words and learn from them, willing to change from my mistakes. 1/2

>>18317048
Our relationship wasn't the best, but I always wanted to just talk and work on things together. I always wanted to put in the work and effort to us stronger. I now I see you didn't want the same. It became more apparent this wasn't about the abortion, it was about you. I'm done playing your game. Don't think I didn't notice how you would say it wasn't important to talk about what we did, but every time we tried to talk about us, the abortion came up. No, I'm not the one that can't get past it, it's you. I can't do this anymore, I won't be your emotional pin cushion. If you aren't willing to work with me, fine. If you won't give me the closure I want, you know what? Fine as well. I don't need it anymore, I'll make my own. In all this pain and confusion, I learned something important, I am of worth, and I can deal with whatever challenge set before me. I will make myself strong for me, not us, especially not you. I am, and will continue to improve and be happy. I only wish you best, and that you learn something from all this. As it was costly in the end.

>>18316643
Don't let the past ruin your future go for it!

there was an anon a long time ago that said something along the lines of
>every day, before I go to work I dismantle my 1911 and out it back together
>every sharp click and slide makes me a little bit happier
>then I load it, rack the slide, and put it to my head
>it stays there for a second, and everyday I do this
>but everyday, the gun stays there, pointed at my head, for one more second
>its getting harder to put the gun down

I wish I didn't understand what he might be going through

I just had a complete falling out with the people whom i had thought could possibly be the closest thing to a friend. This is complete shit, 4 years ago the same thing happened, and I never spoke to them again.
Details: Two is company three is a crowd

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Hey god, can I die now?


Please?

I had sex with my cousin last year. I love her but we will never be together. Sorry.

>>18317082
it may not be ok anon, but maybe it will be.

>>18314683
good luck bro.

I did cheat.

>>18317163
I know

You initiated break up with them like 20 fucking times. You had to know there was going to be a limit.
That you were talking of breaking up again, of course THEY initiated it instead of you this time. They're fucking tired of dealing with it.
How is this the gravest offense ever committed toward you? You were wanting it, just they gave it this time.

Whether you get back together or not again, I DON'T CARE. I'm sick to death of this happening over and over. Stop treating them like that and expecting to control their emotions every time you grow a little bored. Get a hobby that isn't sleeping around you shallow shit.

i dont know how to deal with you, with us

you and i both feel that there is a certain emotional distance, as well as the actual distance we live apart between us when we're by another
but when we are, it's no problem at all to show our emotions

fuck i really really want you but i don't know how to properly show you what i feel for you over 150 miles

>>18317124
I just want her to love me. I hate myself so much for all of this.

I'm fucking losing my mind. Why did you ask what I thought about polyamory? Was it..out of the blue? Did you, even for a moment, think you may love me again? Did you ever stop? Can you tell how deeply and madly I'm still in love with you? She can. Ever so slightly. She confronted me about it, in a lull of our...conversation? I still love her. I hope she never mistakes that. I love her so much. She is so good for me and it's almost been four years and almost six years for you and him. But I can't help it, or stop myself. I don't expect her to understand. Or anyone. Even you. It's literally an insane extent. This will be my undoing and the question is when and what I will I do.

We both said this couldn't happen, but. It did. Slowly and violently. The natural machinations between us? Our routine? The usual? Clockwork? Me ritualistically undoing every single fucking positive stride I make, like always. And for what? Because I can't fucking get you out of my head? Platitudes of courage and love make me think of you. You snap to my head with songs of love. I immediately think of talking to you when something happens. When I'm drunk, I want to hear your voice more than anything even though I know it and circumstance will paralyze me. You always have. You're the standard I judge people against. Other people stopped being enough the moment I "met" you. How funny. How crazy. How weird.

I honestly don't know what I expect from this. I really fucking don't. We can't collapse our lives around us. It's already started changing, which is probably for the best, since his birthday. Because wow it was getting insane for a second there. Daily, it seemed, we were skirting lines and blurring borders. Testing what would make each other uncomfortable to say, which apparently, was an impossible task. Because everything is okay between us, even, and maybe especially, the things we shouldn't be doing.

I don't know where to go from this. I know what I should stop, but I probably won't.

Memories of me being sodomized by an adult in my school bathroom have resurfaced, I blocked these memories for three years and when I told my psychiatrist this she asked me "Why didn't you run away?" What am I suppose to do? He's holding me down, more fit than me, more taller than me and more heavier than me. I was too afraid to resist a lot and I feel ashamed of myself for not trying harder. I told her all of this before that question she asked, and I didn't answer her question because I was a bit shocked by it. When we were done talking she did this running hand gesture and said "Run next time" I've been pondering that question for the past couple of months all the while reliving these memories, questioning on whether some bits are true or are they false delusions.

I don't want to get into any detailed specifics about how went after me but he went after me out of nowhere. I had no time to react. A doctor is telling me that I'm may be schizophrenic. I don't hear voices, I was experiencing some delusions when these memories resurfaced. I Have no one else to talk to, that psychiatrist I talked to lacks understanding. All the other psychiatrist are booked, I can't turn to a therapist since they can only do so much besides suggesting here and now tactics. Before you come to conclusion that I'm just being emotional there more to the story, a lot of more resurfacing memories or delusions. Maybe that why the doctor think I'm a schizophrenic

These resurfacing memories have stopped. I Know for sure I was sodomized in school and was a complete state of shock after that incident that I blocked it from my memories. Maybe time will heal, hopefully.

>>18317246
it is not your fault anon. find a new doctor.

I still don't know if I love you. Me feelings keep coming back for you every time things fail with another girl. You're abrasive and have moments that drive me up the wall, but I care for you. Despite that though, I think I'm confusing love with something else.

I was just at a confernce last weekend, and met some fantastic girl who lives on the other side of the country.

I have a great girlfriend of 4 years, she's pretty hot and everyone tells me I'm doing well.. but I can't stop thinking about the other girl..

Since realising that I'm the architect of my own destruction I no longer feel anger or resentment to other people for my own problems, which is good and has led to healthier relationships in some cases, but what I'm left with is a very cold and logical approach that feels almost emotionless and makes it harder to connect with people than when I spent my life raging at the imagined storm.

>>18317261
I'll try and thanks.

>>18317246
>when I told my psychiatrist this she asked me "Why didn't you run away?"
>When we were done talking she did this running hand gesture and said "Run next time"
Depending on where you live you can sue and possibly get her struck off for that, just so you know.

>>18317347
no problem. ive become a rape victim super hero. i am sheltrring a victimized family member atm. i found a drunkwn victim the other night randomly amd helped her get to people who cared for her.

ofc im also the guy who is in love with and fucked my cousin, so im a giant piece of human garbage that deserves pain, anguish and then death.

>>18317358
It's been a couple of months and I've been diagnosed by a doctor as a schizophrenic. I don't know if they will consider my story as valid evidence.

>>18317384
/adv/ is a fun board

I feel like I'm going to have a fight with someone soon. I just fucking know it, lmao.

I ruined my life.

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(Ignore this)

I love you, Beastie, you make me so happy. Each day I hold onto the hope that we can spend more time together, that you aren't suffering any pain and that you're nice and cozy. The memory of when you first arrived to the store is what I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to bed.

>>18314604
Oh you love her so much. She's so wonderful.
Now go post more pictures of her on /b/ you fuck.

She's just a number to you, and you know it.

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I hate this modern culture.
I hate it all the way to my core.
Nothing about it is worth preserving anymore. It is utterly sickening, and I want to destroy the people who push for this ongoing degradation of our cultures and nations and fee my kinsmen from this hell we are trapped into.

FUCK.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPrVfrO3y78

>>18317018
I'm not worth anything. I deserve to be unhappy. There's no way youre him, and even if you were, there's no way you haven't wished any evil on me in the last seven years. He hated my guts. He wasn't crazy. His only fault was falling for a monster like me.

dreamt about my ex last night

i need to get laid

:/

the more you talk about how "drugs are bad, mmk" the more I realize that you assholes don't listen to me at-fucking-all and the more likely I am that I'm going to do so many fucking drugs when this is over.

When I vent up my thoughts about everything to someone, it just doesn't feel right, like I am not telling the most important part of what I have to say and all I say is just small and unimportant details, resulting in feeling empty & frustrated.

What's wrong w/ me?

>>18318203
Seriously, I only have a few more years left on this Earth and I'm sure as FUCK not going to do them sober.

>>18318226
inhibition
You can' t actually let it go
You can't tell the truth

It's the god damn same for me and I hate it

>>18317124
Gross

>>18318327
I fucked my sister.

To be fair, I didn't know she was my sister at the time.

What the fuck guys.

I'm in love with someone wonderful and it has been great. But some cynical voice inside me keeps nagging about all the horror stories and tragedies I've heard and seen and I keep waiting for something to go wrong. I'm sort of addicted to it by now; being disgustingly happy while also holding my breath waiting for the worst.

>>18318318
But what's the truth, really?
This world for the most part is disguising, only so few things that brighten things up every now and then, but then again, none of them has to do with another human being.

Why can't I find such a person, that will make me change my mind?

I have two hours a week to see this guy. And he sends an email saying he won't go because -sports team- is playing. Hm. Well it's not like I have a chance with him anyway.

Please just tell me what is going on. Please tell me that this isn't real, that this couldn't possibly be happening.

Seriously, what is this? What is reality? How am I the center of all of this? How can the entire world revolve around me?

Did I just get the short stick?

"Have you ever noticed? Did you ever think? You'll say "How didn't I notice sooner?"

Please tell me what is happening.

People telling me that their entire life exists only to support me.

People telling me I am God.

Can I really be the messiah? Why tell me those things? What kind of fucked up shit is this?

I need answers.

>>18318384
youre delusional

I feel so bad

My heart is a furnace,
Hot as hell in my world of conflict
One goal is what keeps me going
Take back what I lost to...
The boss of greed and fear, yeah
Don't ask why I'm ready
but I'm ready to take
Them down now
The time for a new start
Is constantly drawing nearer

>>18318535
A river in a dry land
The last ace in a lost hand
When the hope of new beginnings burned our feet
Now we need it:
A heartbeat for a tin man
An oasis in a singed land
Remind us what we're here for:
Creating a new life for us
Creating rivers in the desert

>>18318349
Initials?

>Look, anon! Your brother might not have a job or any real aspiration but he's such a nice, caring guy with our family, while you're a stuck up cold bitch who is never grateful for anything! Why don't you just change your whole character and become a woman worth of our love and others? No matter how hard you work, you will never get anywhere without selling yourself short.
God knows I love my mother but I can't wait to move out. I don't need to be reminded of my failures when I'm already suicidal

>>18318451
I wish I was. I really really do.

I'm 25 years young, and I just learned that you don't have to feel ready to do shit.

Whoop dee FUCKING doo.

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I'm no longer your best friend, I get it. I see how you guys always hang out and talk about & to eachother 24/7.

I just kinda miss when we used to do that, y'know?

Part of me kinda wishes I never came back.

Life has been pretty sweet lately and I'm really happy with my life and grateful for everything I have but I am dealing with one medical issue that has been stressing me out. After I go to the bathroom to poop I'll wipe myself 100% clean and then 30 minutes later I'll need to wipe again. This will continue for a good two hours but after that I'm fine. Went to an Urgent Care doctor that said it was an std probably but my test came back negative. He prescribed me hemorrhoid suppositories too, and they helped a little bit but the problem is still there. I quit my daily drinking habit two days ago and that helped a little too but again, I'm still having issues. I'm stressed out about this a ton and super self conscious about it. I'm scheduling an appointment with a gastro. specialist today. Anybody experience anything similar?

Can you guys please tell me what, exactly, you don't want me to say?

You don't give me anyone to talk to about this stuff. You don't give me my medication that allows me to NOT think about it 24/7 and you're constantly fucking with me.

So telling me to "Shh" or whatever the fuck... about FUCKING WHAT? WHAT PART OF THIS AND TO WHO?

Also the part about that song? You know, where it says "You have proved yourself to be a real human being."

The part that concerns me? That implies I wasn't a real human being before.

So am I, or am I not, a real human? Am I an AI? An android? A clone? A replicant? A simulation? The figment of my own imagination?

>>18318689
Actually ... you are a figment of your own imagination. We all are.

Every time I've started becoming more serious about my hobbies or just working out on my own, I get injured.
It feels like life is doing this on purpose.

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>>18314604
I let the only girl I was sexually attracted to and actually enjoyed being around slip through my fingers without even asking her out because of my autism. Now three years later, I'd give anything to see her just once for the closure of one chance. I'm sure I'll never see her again though.

I'm heartbroken and its my own fault.

I had a girl who loved me and I drove her away.

Kill me

If I was made, did you guys give me a soul?

How fucked is that?

>>18315985
Just disappear without a warning. Don't explain anything and cut all contact. Simply vanish.

>>18318737

Death is merciful. You should live and learn from this to get what you deserve. Good luck.

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I've had a crush on a teachers aide at my school for a while (19 and still in HS, about to graduate in 18 days now though finally) and we've always been really close since I transfered to there.
Everyday we get closer to the year ending and there's been lots of heavy flirting between us and I feel like I'm on cloud nine.
Can't wait to gradute and be out of HS so we can talk more outside of school without the staff giving us dirty looks and slapping our wrists. The age difference isn't too weird, like 9 years.
Wish me luck anons (*°∀°)=3

B.
Endlessly
S

>>18318766
She's 10?

i just paid a hooker to talk to me for an hour
didn't have sex, didnt really want to have sex with her
is something wrong with me?

You have no idea how badly I just want to hole up in a dark room, take all the drugs, listen to music, and paint... for the rest of my life.

Fuck everything else.

>>18318905
Depends, how personal the conversation was? Don't have to get into detail.

I don't understand
You said you loved me, but why do you want to be alone if that's the case
You said nothing happened but then why do you need to leave me
How can you be okay with this
Why are you okay with throwing away two years just for some soul searching
Why can't I be in your life

>>18318935
a lot of it was small talk and getting to know one another
ive had sex before, but somehow just couldnt bring myself to have sex this time

Basically, I believe I am falling for you. Your reactions to my notes and scribbles I draw for you drive me crazy - in the good way. Dankeschön

>>18317135
not first cousin but yeah. fuck.

>>18318952
It's slightly odd, but I wouldn't say it's an issue that you should be concerned about. Not unless you do this frequently.

>>18319000
i didnt feel like having sex nor could i get it up and have sex even if i wanted to

>>18318884
He's 28 but a 10 year old would be fine too

>>18317273
Probably affection, or simple affinity.

fucking kill me please

>>18319104
That or familiarity. The relationship anon was once familiar with is something they think back to for comfort.
>>18317273

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I don't feel like wasting a thread to post this and have it get one response and die so I'll post it here.

I hate my fucking inlaws. Memes aside I didn't hate them until last week. My inlaws bitched and moaned for 3 years after I moved their daughter somewhere actually livable. The last 2 they kept bitching about wanting to move but not being able to even though where I live is cheaper. They finally moved (after we put up 20k to help them get the house/help them move) and her dad is fucking toxic. Her mom has dementia and doesn't remember anything anymore. We moved them down to help them, and all he's done is bitch and moan and refuse to do any work. We put a huge financial strain on ourselves and he has already put his new house back on the market. I don't have the money time to move them back, but he expects me too. He also refuses to pay me back, and he doesn't understand why we don't want to see them anymore. He's a horrible human being. I'm so fucking done with them. Am I in the wrong here?

I want to message my ex, just to talk about things. She left me the 1st week of January, and has been with another guy since about a-month-and-a-half ago (A close male friend of hers). I want to tell her that I know she can't force herself to love me. I want to tell her that the thought that i'm nothing to her anymore keeps me awake at night. I want to tell her that it hurts to imagine her lying next to this guy, and he leans over and shares some stupid fucking in-joke like we used to have. I want to tell her that it kills me to think about the fact that no matter what reason she left me for, any of them are terrifying. I want to tell her how my day has been. I want to tell her i'm not sure what to make of some opportunities at work. I want to tell her I hated Guardians of the Galaxy 2, and that i'm cautiously optimistic about the new Alien film. I want to tell her she hurt me, but that I don't, nor did I, hold it against her. I want to tell her I miss her so fucking much, and the idea of 'getting over' her is so fucking hollow that I hate the fact I probably will, and that she already has.

>>18317273
Why do you think it's something other than love?

"Do you have any long term goals"
No, of fucking course I don't.

I literally do not have a future. I have parkinsons and dementia. Why the fuck would I have any long term goals.

and i'm never going to be a pretty lady. I'tll never work.

I want to die.

I guess I scared you away. I told you I was fucked up. Now I'm trying to decide wether or not I should take that job and start my life over again, continue working my regular shit job, or just kill myself. Strongly leaning towards the third option, cause no matter what I seem to do with my life I fuck it all up. I don't even know why I'm trying anymore

I don't care about life. I've wasted ten years doing nothing, i'm just sat waiting to die, I wish it would hurry up.

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>>18319150
>>18319180

>>18319093
Sounds like your mind is on something else, I don't know. I hate to say this, but if it keeps happening then see a doctor. Give it some time and then see from there if it requires seeing a doctor.

All your advice falls on deaf ears. I don't fucking care about anything you have to say right now. I don't care about playing the game. Why would I? What reason do I have to continue playing this stupid fucking game? I haven't learned anything and even the shit I think I learned is probably all bullshit anyways.

As for the advice, fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you.

I want to die. Why would I care about drinking more water? I want to die so fucking badly.

>>18319200
It's hard, man. I'd say i'm getting there but I have absolutely no idea.

I'm afraid to message you today. The nights were made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day. Perhaps one night again soon.

>>18318905
Alright Holden

The things going on are not things that can be put off with "patience".

You fucking tell someone straight up, as soon as fucking possible, when it's like this. This isn't something you fucking drag out.

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I am actually ligitimatley thinking about harming myself.
I haven't slept in nearly 2 days and I'm in such a melancholic state that I refuse to talk or socialise with anyone, even my own parents.
I'm like a fucking Opossum; I'm ugly, feral, I eat garbage and not many people like me.

Wow this fucking whore beat me to New York. I was going there in like August but she just had to go this week. Fucking bitch. Fuck off with your snapchats. I've still been everywhere else, you beat me one place by like a few days. You are still a trash whore cunt bitch. Fucking slut

I can't reconcile how indifferently cordial we are now with how close we were just a couple months ago, and how we used to laugh and enjoy each other's company. What the fuck happened to you?

>>18319280
I know everyone says don't do it, but seriously don't do it.

As a former self harmer...? That sounds stupid. As someone who used to swlf harm. It's never worth it. You feel bad now. You do it, you get a brief euphoria and then you feel worse because of what you've done.

I know the feeling of absolutely nothing making you happy, but seriously get some sleep. It will help. I found those melatonin tablets help.

I'm in a relationship, and he's married, so it will never be anything but an idle fantasy, but I really want to suck my new boss's dick. He's got these big, brown eyes with long eyelashes, and I think about the way they might look as he cums to the point that it's hard not to smile every time we make eye contact. Again, I'd never cheat and wouldn't want to be the third party in cheating, either; just admitting something I'd never tell anyone else.

Just started a new job as a cna and I am worried I am already fucking it up. One resident pretty much screamed at me because I didn't know how to properly take care of him. He was weak and blind, due to the workload I barely even saw him bordering on neglect, and one patient I did neglect. I feel like a failure, haven't been to work since. I hope I don't get reprimanded, I hope just this once I can squeak by and continue working. I will constantly try to improve, however the workload and short staffing is making it a difficult task.

I'm curious what you have planned to make me give a shit about anything.

Sex? Even with her, that's not going to be enough.
Money? Yeah... no.
Attention? No.

Seriously, what the fuck could you possibly do to make me care? About anything?

I think about what it's going to be like when this is over and my new life begins and... I just think it's going to be worse. Now instead of being miserable alone, I'm going to be miserable surrounded by a bunch of people that want shit from me.

Seriously, please kill me. Just fucking kill me. I don't want any of this. I just want to die. That's all I want.

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My school's senior picnic happened today. I woke up feeling pretty good because I didn't have to go to class for the second half of the day. Yet by the time I got there, I just felt horrible. Utterly bad. Sure, there's the fact that I was tired, and the sun was beating directly on me while I was dressed (stupidly) in all black, but it's not just that. People were having fun, and I couldn't stand it. Everywhere I looked was a reminder of the things that I used to enjoy, so I wasn't just incredibly bored, but forced to sit there and watch as everybody else had a great time chatting, petting animals, or playing some of the games there. The food wasn't bad, but with the state I was in, it tasted like warm, bland junk.

So I left. I thought we were dismissed, but apparently that's not the case. I checked my attendance for today, and I was marked absent for the rest of the day. Which means I lost my exemptions, and I'll have to do that on top of the other work.

I don't know how I'm supposed to do this, guys. I realize probably none of you can relate to this, but god damn, if there's someone who knows this feel I would really appreciate some support. I should be having the time of my life, but I feel worse than I've ever felt before.

>>18319280
I used to cut myself during the classes in highschool with a broken plastic from a pen.
I always loved hoodies so it was easy to hide the cuts.

But I never went further. The pain from the cuts of broken plastic pen were enough to feel a relief. And combined with a strange satisfaction of doing it in classes while the teacher was doing its job, was good enough. Never did it outside the school, and I stopped after 1 semester.
I shifted to post-rock music, industrial ambient and I finally found a place of relief in one of the corners of my being.

>>18319387
Okay, let me rephrase - I'm thinking about hurting myself *again*.
Like I've been a year and 6 months clean but it's getting so intensely bad that I just want to die.

>>18319150
It's stupid, I shouldn't message her, right? It won't get me anything - she doesn't want me, she can't have that kind of relationship with her ex, and she just doesn't want to or she'd have talked to me. I just miss talking to her so much.

>>18319453
Let go of the idea that fun is found within others.
Majority of people in high school are boring as hell. Find things that you enjoy in your own time. People will only disappoint, and it doesn't help to realize that when you're going through a lot of maturing, leaving high school and all.
You feel like shit because of hormones, but because of the frustrations you experience in contact with others, and contact with yourself. You don't know where you're headed, you don't have much to say for yourself, you don't see the spark you see between others, etc. It gnaws.

So realize that satisfaction isn't found within others, and that external change doesn't mean anything; you control the change you want to see.

>>18319479
Don't hold your past and stop carrying her on your shoulders. You will fall under your own burden.

Move on, lad !
Move on !

>>18319483
>So realize that satisfaction isn't found within others, and that external change doesn't mean anything; you control the change you want to see.

Yah those of us that have been rejected time and time again. By people, not just girls. Hard to find happiness within when you feel like a complete freak to everyone.

>>18319487
I'm trying, man, it's just so hard

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>>18319150
Kek. I have to wonder if you're my ex, although I don't know if he'd be over /adv/ way.

>Actually, I was fucking T for ages.
>But I'm going out with C/D on Thursday and he's shown me more genuine affection over the past week than you did over four years.
>The reason I left you is because you're an emotionally abusive sociopath who was fucking a tweaker whore behind my back, btw.


I know you're probably not him; I'm just bein' a dick. Cheer up, anon.

>>18319483
>Let go of the idea that fun is found within others
I've never had that idea, really. I haven't felt a sense of loneliness in years, and I'm perfectly content being by myself. No, it's pleasure. I have not been able to enjoy anything other than candy or masturbation since this January. Music sounds like nothing to me. Food tastes like boring gunk. I buy shit just for the thrill of getting it in the mail, and never touch it. I spend all of my free-time browsing 4chan in a daze since there is absolutely nothing else that gives even a little chance at entertainment. I need to see a doctor so damn badly, but my mother still won't apply for insurance no matter how often I ask her.

That's why it's so painful to be around people who are happy. It is a constant reminder that, compared to them, you're basically not even human. Your best days are about as enjoyable as their mediocre ones. There is absolutely no one you know who can begin to advise you on this situation - including your therapist, who can only make small talk.

Yeah, that's my problem.

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Honestly, melancholy is probably the worst thing you could feel. It's like an extreme sadness that you want to stop feeling but it crushed your will.

I LOVE YOU.
I HATE THAT.
The way you've seen me act is a friendly way. I'm not nice with the one I love, it seems.

I hope I don't lose my shit over this, I really do.

>>18314750
Maybe your facade is your true self and the sad one inside is who you think you are.

>>18319511
See, and no one responds. I don't blame you for it, since no one has to care about a stranger's problems, but isn't it fucked up that things are at this point? For christ sakes, my parents divorced last Fall, and I can't truly feel emotions or pleasure anymore. I'm not exaggerating, that's really how it is. A couple months ago, I met up with the girl of my dreams, and we got along very well, but I felt zero emotion or please after the whole thing. Nothing on my list of favorite albums means anything to me now. It's empty. Empty, empty, empty.

And you can say it's temporary, but what if it's not? Some people have Anhedonia for years, if not decades. My family has a slight history of mental illness, so perhaps I just got unlucky?

If I'm still in this state ten years from now, I will seriously consider offing myself.

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>>18319280

>>18319503
Don't make me teach you the ways of tough love, young boi, ya hearrrr meh ???

You better get fucking over her. She's gone.

Again, don't try me to show you some tough love, cause ain't going to give you an orgasm, but for sure will wake you the fuck up.

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>>18319556
>>18319280
Better quality

>>18319554
It seems a bit contradictory that you relish solitude yet feel at odds and ends when no one responds, Which is the truth?
Also, I want you to look at what else I said in response: find things you enjoy by yourself and only with yourself.
Eating food, listening to music, talking to a 'girl of dreams' does not constitute as by yourself activities. Those can be done in a group. You have to work on things that only you can do alone.

>>18319582
I like being alone, but I want someone to respond because I do not think I can triumph over this disease by myself. I have worked at it with many different natural solutions, and none have worked. If I could find somebody who has gone through this and they could give me advice, I would be very pleased. As it is now, my understanding is that I've come up with a form of Depression that lasts a very long time, and the two symptoms of severe Anhedonia and Apathy combine to make my life utterly empty and dull. Little is known about such a condition, and all I have to go off of is other people's experiences.

I spend no time in other people's company outside of school. I have been listening to music, reading literature, and playing video games since childhood, but now they are no longer enjoyable.

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DON'T MAKE ME ASSUME MY ULTIMATE FORM

>>18319601
kek
mangloid fucktard niggero gender form

>>18319592
I used to be the same way. Hated when people didn't respond. But I realized later it's because it makes the conversation is all lofty but empty in the end, and that's painful because you thought it wasn't empty, or don't want it to be. But this is what I mean by shutting down the idea of a synthesis between peoples.
Since you don't trust your judgement too well, from what I see, I'll declare that you don't like being alone currently. And that is because you don't engage in things that are building blocks. You don't apply yourself too much when you list those things. They're empty and you know it, because you don't apply yourself.

Find something to build on. Make some skills out of yourself, and begin valuing yourself. Don't rely on self-esteem for satisfaction though.

You said earlier that everyone is smiling and filled with joy, but you must understand it's not that way. Don't compare yourself to them anyway.

This is a part of the human existence, realize that everyone is fighting some derivative of what you are fighting.

>>18319608
What did your dad do to you that made you such a grumpasaurus rex? It doesn't matter unless it made you laugh, it's what I was aiming for.

>>18319611
Man, please, try to understand what I'm writing. This isn't about other people at all. I don't even feel lonely, nor do I want friends or a girlfriend. There's not even a conception of my self-esteem in my mind.

All I want is to enjoy life again. I want someone to show me that it's possible to dig myself out of my circumstances. But I've done the digging, and the odds are very low. No one online has a fucking clue about Anhedonia, and only a couple of people have claimed that theirs has been cured. You can't think your way out of it. You can only sit and hope for the best as the best years of your life fade in front of your eyes.

I don't expect you to empathize, and I know I'm not going to get a solution tonight. But please, for the love of god at least just comprehend what I write to you now.

>>18319618
>>>/pol/

>>18319457
Remember kids, post-rock saves lives.

On a serious note, getting wilfully lost in the "hnngggg" moments of post rock really does help with the crippling feels. I have vivid memories of sitting on a bus feeling uneasy and then hearing the climax of Earthmover by HANL for the first time, fucking hell.

You're pathetic and deserve everything that's happening to you.

>>18319618

People have this tendency to declare things about themselves when they don't understand anything.
I don't understand anything as much as you, I just have more experience. You don't know jack shit about your psyche, don't act like you do. The self is an elusive thing. Some things may be true, and instantly they may not. Just because you've been having a drought of pleasure does not mean you are a serious sufferer of any self-diagnosed mental conditions. You may think I'm being dismissive, but don't take it to such extremes. These are just the lofty facts.
This is the harsh reality. I told you what may be cures, and you don't show that you consider any of them. You want to be understood, and you will be eventually, but it means that you have to show people you're not doing too well, and real life people too.

Stop having unrealistic expectations of people, especially online. You already know I won't empathize with such demanding language, but you can't expect me to just download your situation and give you the one stop fix or show I understand your situation. You haven't told me much, nor conversed with me much. You can't expect to understand what you're thinking. Language obfuscates simple feelings. What I've said are general truths to me, take it or leave it.

Beyond these facts, you will still think I won't consider your emotional state. But I know you're just an angst filled teen that wants his pleasure brain. I understand that you are not receiving as much joy, and you feel like shit. Consider why those things aren't enjoyable anymore.
Maybe because you've overdone them. It's like solving the same puzzle over and over again. That puzzle is boring. Food is boring now. So is music. So are girls.
You know what isn't boring? Seeing what you're capable of.
When I say stop searching for fun in other people, that also means searching for absolute truths in others. Those people you dream of, those one that'll instantly get it, they aren't there.

>>18319647
Yeah, I know those people aren't going to come. I was foolish for posting here.

I know you cheated. Of course you did. It's just the worst that you wouldn't own up to it though. Why wouldn't you?

As for the guy, how pathetic is he? He probably thought he was pretty awesome, what with his "I totally cucked someone" but think of this hot shot,

The sex couldn't be too good if she tried to kill herself after.

And now you are stuck paying child support.

You know, when you get out of jail that is.

>>18319654
You may be foolish, but if you can take one thing away and realize that you can be understood with the right people and the right amount of time, that'll be enough for me.
Everything will be alright. I'm sorry you're going through so much change. It sucks. It's a part of growing up nowadays.

>>18319639
Dark, industrial ambient and with post-rock (no voice at all) is my perfect combination.

If these trees could talk - Above the earth, beneath the sky , for example, is the type of post-rock I love.

>>18319645
I kinda think this is for me, because you dipshits have said this in the past.

You will never, ever know what it's like to be in my shoes. You will never know the pressure, the stress, the pain I have gone through. There is no one alive or dead that knows what it's like to be me. I can say that with confidence.

>>18319688
>You will never know the pressure, the stress, the pain I have gone through.
wrong

Ok, so I'm gonna be an officer in my nation's Navy.

I'm gonna have a career. Hurrah
But I guess that normalcy will never happen.
I'm always going to be nomadic. I'm never gonna have a regular 9 to 5 where I can have a nice wife and go home to something normal.

But I've never lived that life anyways. I don't know whether I care whether I'll never have that life or not.

I'll never marry and and I'll never have kids. I guess I was never going to anyways

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I confessed to a friend. I had to do it because I also had to own up to a lie. I wish I could take it back because I really just want to be friends again. I ruined it, but it was doomed from the start. Now I just feel sad and mopey. I'll never find another one of him.

>>18319697
Confessed what?
Murder?

>>18319699
That I had feelings for him

>>18319647
Powerful words sage

I told a lie to a parent. I'm a teacher and it was too late when I realized he knew I was lying about something nice that happened to her daughter. About a mother's day tea party that Happened last Friday afternoon. I told the dad that she was there when the truth is she was absent that day hanging out with his dad. I'm very embarrassed. And I just want to kill myself.

I could duplicate a thousand paper cranes and you would still self righteously deny me a conversation. Guys don't do that when I talk to them. I make an effort to be people's friend but they overlook things. You don't want to overlook anything.

>>18319722
Meh, it happens.
We are human.
We learn from mistakes.
Just drink a glass a wine , sleep and you are new

>>18319691
The weight of the entire world is on my shoulders.

As in, my actions decide whether the world lives or dies.

That's fucked up.

>>18319688
If you killed yourself there would be someone dead that knows what it's like to be you.

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Why don't I care anymore? I've been improving myself little by little and actually making progress, but I don't care enough to put in the time to find someone. I don't think I care about people anymore. My grandmother passed away a little over 2 years ago and it didn't bother me. My grandfather was/has been distraught ever since and yet I don't care to even call or talk to him. My sister who lives in Texas now has two boys of her own and I couldn't care less. I blow off all of my other family members too and I never make time to ever hang out with anyone. I quit smoking and drinking, started eating healthier, and started going to the gym thinking it would change me and yet I still feel the same way. Why the fuck am I like this? Goddammit Garrett why don't you care?

THIS SUPPLEMENT MAKES ME SWEAT LIKE A WHORE IN CHURCH FUCK I HOPE THE RESULTS ARE WORTH IT

>>18319972
lol what is this supplement??

I am not sure if I should go to this upcoming wedding.
It's a guy i know from work, I don't know him very well - we get along well, went out for some burgers and drinks and actually a concert once.

But i literally only know him there, i feel akward and ... missplaced in such situations. Like i have no right to be there.
When people ask me who I am i can just say "Uh yea a friend from work".

Weird feelings.

I wish I could tell you how much I appreciate your friendship and how I'm a better person for knowing you. I thought feeling like you love a person more each day was a meme but it's real. I never understood sappy chick flicks before but I get it now and love songs too. Everything makes me think of you.

>>18319611
What medications have you tried?

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Everyday you get angrier and more annoyed with me. Everytime I ask why you get mad, you just tell me to shut up. When I need to tell you something important, you get angry at me. I just want to help but you're acting like I'm smothering you. Do you want me to stop caring? Is that what it'll take for us to go back to the way things used to be, me not giving a shit? I remember when we could go out and have fun. Now you shut me up whenever we talk. I put up a lot more with you than you think I do. But I dont care because I love you. Why can't you show me the same courtesy? When you're uncomfortable, you expect me to change and adapt to you in an instant. And I do, because I love you, without a second thought. But when I expect the same you only complain, moan, and tell me to deal with it. That's not fair. Why does it feel like I'm putting more into this than you are? I don't like this feeling. It scares me.

>>18319973
dinitrophenol

>>18314744
Sometimes they don't understand. Some people are just like that.
Kinda happened with me years ago. When I was just a teen, opened up to my parents that I wasn't feeling good. Like I felt broken and nothing was making it better, they simply chuckled and responded "Anon, you're just crazy". Sure it could have been teenage angst, but I wish it was that. Instead it sent me into a spiral that took me 15 years to get out of.

It's not easy. God, I wish it was. The only thing you can do is try to find help yourself. On a day were your insides aren't fucking with you try to find a local mental health clinic. Or if you have a doctor, steel your nerves and tell him you thought about it, don't hold it in. Help is out there. It's about saving yourself, you come first. Never forget that.

Don't let it take over your life, you may not get a second chance.

>>18320042
But what about this article??
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/death-of-medical-student-sarah-houston-after-taking-banned-slimming-drug-dinitrophenol-highlights-8584597.html

>>18320040
If your partner has shut down, get out. Telling you from experience. It doesn't mean you don't love them, but this isn't fair to you. it will traumatize you, when your love treats you like you are nothing but a burden to them... you are together because you're afraid of being alone, not because its working.

Its either that, or try to convince your partner to improve. But if they don't want to improve, please do both of you a favor. Go be happy anon.

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I'm not even into other guys, fuck I'm not even sure I like him like that. Not really in a sexual way, I just find him cute, but why did I feel flustered when he complimented my face. When he jokes or calls me cute?

Fuck this is weird.

In the space of 3 months, we lost our baby and now I'm inches from losing you
Please don't give up on me. I will wait by your side every day until you are out of hospital.
Please don't leave me here

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>>18320062
2/2
I'd had girls, other guys, my gf compliment me all the time, but I normally respond with a thank you and shrug it off.

But this guys telling me that he thinks me cute got me sweaty. Only him. Fug.

>>18320059
I read that before starting DNP lol. It was like..the first link on google? My guess is she got a bad batch from someone looking to make easy money whereas the pills I received came from a chemist who distributed to many people that raved about his gem pills online. Unfortunately he is out of the game due to unforseen circumstances in regards to his family.

>>18319688
>no one alive or dead that knows what it's like to be me
Anon, are you a zombie?

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It feels like 29 is too late to start over. I've just fucked up so much.

I feel like every time I try to get close to someone, they end up alienating me. I don't know why it happens but it's happened my entire life. I'm in my mid 20's and I've been actually close with fewer than 5 people. I was only ever intimate with one and that ended up being a dumpster fire. I'm starting to believe that I'm not someone who's meant to have other people in my life. Not like everyone else. I see people making friends and making memories with each other and the only thing I can think is why I can't seem to do that. It's always so short lived for me, and they always distance themselves from me. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong and I'm aware of social graces, I'm not a boor and I try not to drink too much. Honestly I'm tired of trying.

The thing that really scares me is that I'm starting to be ok with it. I can feel myself starting to give up and it's terrifying. It's like finally locking the door after waiting up all night for someone who never came home. Admitting it to yourself that they're not coming back. I don't want to be ok.

It's making more sense every day that all I'll ever be is alone. Every day another little piece of me dies that I'll never get back.

I've been nervous about stuff before, anxious about something that might or might not happen. But every day, tomorrow is the most scared of anything I've been in my life and it's not stopping.

Dear asshole who keeps making multiple bait threads on /adv/,

Fuck you. You're a terrible person and extremely twisted to try and get everyone's sympathy. You make up new stories and new scenarios every time, but I'm onto you. You are a pathological liar and obviously need attention but you manipulate people into it. I fucking hate people like you. Stop lying, making up stories. Seek actual help. Did I say fuck you already? Fuck you.

>>18319645
Such as?

>>18320209
Could you point some of his recent ones out for me?

>>18320242
I will. Its this guy >>18320209

Not having physician assisted death in all states is fucking bullshit. I've been spending time with my dad in the hospital for the last 2 weeks, in the final days of lung cancer, and it's so fucking painful to watch. He has made it clear that he has made peace with his situation, and he isn't afraid and he is ready to go, and is tired of struggling and being miserable. But he has to continue to lie there, dosed up on a dozen medications. He gasps for every breath, and even with 100% oxygen, he can't catch a full breath, and without medications to prevent it, he would feel like he is suffocating. What the fuck would be so wrong about allowing a doctor, under the wishes of the patient and family to give him a dose of morphine or something to allow him to slip away peacefully, instead of wasting away over weeks, suffering and miserable? So frustrating, and so fucking painful to watch.

>>18320242
The one where an imaginary guy 6'1 was being beaten by his 5'2 wife >>18314297

I believe he's made some more recently and I'm starting to recognize the pattern.

>>18320265

Apparently he likes to do this and has before where he's some guy being beaten up by kids who are physically smaller than him. He likes to play victim and rile people up. That guy. I hate him.

>>18320265
>>18320273
>tfw I may have given sincere and heartfelt advice to someone who jacked off to it

So this is what it feels like to be a slut.

>>18320286

Lol yes, I feel so fucking played. And I'm still pissed over it.

It's been 5 years after our 1 week relationship ended. I should just kill myself for missing you that much

Grant me the strength, speed, accuracy and clarity to accomplish my goals.

>>18320242

Fairly certain he's trying from a female victim's perspective now
>>18317685

50/50 on this one
>>18319003

I'm sure someone smarter than me can spot it and possibly tell me why the fuck someone would do this. It just pisses me off.

>>18320322
It wouldn't be the lesser of 2 evils thread, the cunt in that one is planning to use her husband and cheat on him for two years before filing for divorce, whereas this guy's more into humiliation and shit. As for why, the same reason people draw and read comics about loli femdom. I've no fucking idea.

>>18320318
Fucj, I won't kill myself cause my ex would think it's because of her and she would feel like she won which I can't let this happen because I deserve more than some random chick with hairy ass.

>>18320361
Nah man, the first one she's all talking about how she's manipulating him and cheating behind his back, that's her grabbing for her own (warped sense of) power, in that thread she's the victim but nothing is her fault. This dude wants to be beaten up by little girls because it's a fetish and having people online post advice and their desire to help him helps him immerse in the fantasy more. It has the added benefit for him that when Anons catch on to the fact he doesn't want advice (either realising he's being entirely insincere, or just getting annoyed at his reactions to good advice (but it's my fault for provoking her etc.)) the general fallout involves Anons humiliating him further. He's a sick puppy.

>>18320331

lol I just want to warn >famve
cuz he's gonna get fucked by storyteller anon

>>18320372

Ugh that's sick dude. it's just a huge mind fuck. If he wants someone to step on his balls, why doesn't he just ask lol. I'm sure there'd be a line

>>18314604
I frequently have thoughts of mass murder and suicide. It's all I ever think about anymore. Help /adv/?

>>18320397
If you're going to go on a spree make sure you target people you hate, it might have a positive effect on the world. Also don't be one of those minor footnotes, go for the high score, and don't traumatise some rookie but be sure to off yourself by your own hand when the time comes.

>>18320373
Yeah he's going to get fucking owned if he can't understand this much but wants to take on a beast like that, Jesus Christ. I'd watch that movie.

Hm, I'm not as fun as I used to be. Pretty happy though so fuck off

>>18320422
Thanks Anon but as a britfag the only weapons that are legal are shotguns (limited to 2 for the magazine) and rifles (have to be accurate and slow AF reload)

>>18320437
Ah shit, I'm a fellow bong, don't do it Anon I want to live.

>>18320397

I relate man. You could try focusing on yourself instead. What you like, what makes you happy, and how you can improve yourself as a person. Everyone else sucks but you can make things better by being a better version of yourself.

>>18320444
As long as you don't live near the midlands, you'll be fine

>>18320430

>I'd watch that movie.
lol I like you anon. I needed that.

I can't wait to have my baby and get my body back so I can throw that shit in my baby daddies face and never let him touch me again. His life will be shit when he sees him being a better father figure than him. We're ready to get our own place and he's ready to get me back and treat me like a queen. All things you couldn't do. You'll feel like shit you worthless tranny loving pot head.

>>18320449
Birmingham. Where you planning to attack, Anon? I gotta know where to avoid.

>>18320454
Don't involve your kid in your grudges.

>>18320449

Lol omg wtf. Please don't do it!

>>18320458
Warwickshire, Anon

>>18320475

Can you tell us why you feel the need to do this? Like, talk first. You've already disclosed a target location so why not tell us some more deets ?

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>>18320475
Shit nigger that's like an hour away. If you did go through with it you'd do it in London, right? Right?

>>18320475

>feels mad stressed now. lol

>>18320475
The fuck did Warwickshire ever do to you?

>>18320485
Going to use a franchi semi-automatic shotgun. Going to do it before this month ends

>>18320504
You'd be surprised

>>18320490
No, not London. Warwickshire

>>18314604
dude this fucking semester needs to be over already. fucking finals cant come fast enough get me out

>>18320515
Then surprise me, ain't like we've got anything better to do, spill the beans nigger.

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>>18320512

omg you're fucking storyteller anon, aren't you? WTF stop your fucking shit, spreading lies and getting people all riled up. I hate you so much.

>>18320521
Going to go radio silent until 18:00 BST

>>18320526
>TFW you think I'm bullshitting

>>18320526
>Famve loses his mind to paranoia and starts seeing demons all around him

F

Im 32 this year, and it just feels ridiculous to try and make something of my wasted life. I spent 7 years as a NEET, and just now going back into college. Even then, I'm too much of a fucking idiot to know exactly what it is I want. It feels like I've already lost my chance to accomplish anything.
My family expected me to do military service, like my parents and brother, but I was not in the right place when i was younger, and when i finally got my shit together, my health sabotaged my chances anyway.
Ive been hung up on the same woman for the last 6 years, and I dont even know if id be able to move on if I found someone else. Not that id ever get to that point anyway. I'm so afraid of losing a friend that I just don't dare talk about my feelings.

>>18320528
At that point I'll be eating Chinese and watching some shit movie, I ain't gonna remember this by then, just 'fess up faggot.

>>18320528
See ya ^_*

>>18320532

Lol I guess so.

>>18320433
Then be happy, and maybe stop telling people to fuck off.

Every day without fail I eat my wife's ass out. Because of how she reacts, I really want her to eat my ass out but she refuses. I'm not hairy. I'm very clean and hygienic. Because of how much she loves it, it's unfair she won't return the favor.

>>18320560
Fuck off storyteller anon

>>18320579
People eat ass all the time. I know I do at least. It's not that wild of a sexual act. Doesn't drake love ass eating too? This is a vent thread, and I'm venting my grievances of an un-returned favor.

I love that she's wiggling and moaning when my tongue touches her butt hole. The moaning sound turns me on and makes me want to understand the same feeling. But why won't she give it back to me. I am feeling like she doesn't love me as much as I love her.

>>18320599
Shit nigger I was just mocking you and another Anon from a few posts ago, but that actually is a really sad story and I'm so sorry you're going through it. Have you tried talking to your wife and telling her how you feel about her not eating your ass?

>>18320560
>>18320599

NO.
no no no
no no no

You have to stop this. You are a fucking psycho, storyteller anon.

>>18320606
I only ask her indirectly. When I have asked for other sexual acts directly, it scares her. She usually says she's not into that or not now and it will off put the mood. I'm afraid she'll start calling me names and when she gets mad, she gets violent.

>>18320623
I don't understand what's wrong with what I'm doing. I want to experience the same joys she gets when she's face down and unable to move except quiver and moan. I would like to feel the same pleasures

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>>18320642
>I'm afraid she'll start calling me names and when she gets mad, she gets violent.
Oh fuck me, Famve was right all along, Jesus fucking Christ he was right.

What the fuck did /adv/ discover while I was knocked? Psycho storyteller? Oh, now I see it.

>>18315098
Are you me??
Srsly, is this a thing?

>>18320623
I don't know about you man, but I can't stop fucking laughing holy shit

You practically stuck your pussy in my face (metaphorically) and then told me I couldn't have any so I am perfectly justified in being a butthurt cunt about the rejection. If you wanted to be strictly platonic with me you shouldn't have acted like such a whore around me when we were alone. I don't know what your problem is but if you would have actually told me I might have said, 'I'm sorry you have to go through that but you don't have to do it alone because I still want to be with you.' Not anymore. Things are different now. I've changed. I got over you and I'm putting myself before other people from now on. So I hope you understand why I am kicking you out of my life forever this time.

All my friends are cunts who consistently bail out of everything at the last minute

This really is when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force

>>18320913
The Unstoppable Force Paradox would be a great name for Famve and Storytelling Anon's movie.

ive done everything to help you get through the bullshit of your life for so long, took so much shit for you because i was so understanding, so understanding to the point where you knew i wouldnt leave you no matter what. you took advantage of me till you didnt need me anymore. im still in love with you and i question all the times you told me you were in love with me. i still read our messages from the moment we started talking. Maybe our relationship meant absolutely nothing to you, but it meant everything to me. I still wait for your name to pop up on my phone late at night. Hopefully, my prayers can be answered and you will call me so we can just get back together and start fresh. I won't give up on you.

Motherfucking shit I did it again. Pay's in 3 hours ago and blew my money gambling already.

What a fucking retard. And now I have to struggle through another week before I get a chance to start squeezing out this gambling addiction, a struggle I *really* didn't need to do.

A fucked up will is what I've grown within myself, how to fucking unscrew my idiocy when I'm so keen in the moment.

Gah. Now 6 days of feeling low and not having the energy/drive to work towards goals. Literally disgusted with myself.

>>18314683
How did it go anon, what's your story?

Lol. Thanks, dad. I'm swooning.

I will continue to say this... things will get better, they will be alright. The road may be rough, and it make take a little more time than wanted but it's not race, it's battle against life and death. When things get hard look around you and you're sure to find allies to help you along your quest. Stay strong and beautiful, keep up the fight.
I'm always around for you... and don't be afraid to ask for anything.

I really do hate you after all you've done to me, L. But why do I fucking miss you? You're mentally ill and you always have been I just wish I seen it from the start so you wouldn't fuck my head up for life. Did you really move here?? Or was that thread made to catch my attention for some sick joke.
I don't know anymore. I'm depressed as ever, i'm frightened to leave the house in fear of seeing you. You messed me up for life and I know that now, so thanks! You don't deserve Daisy, she is beautiful and you (possibly) ditched her.
from the one you said you will always love, but cheated on. S

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I just figured out that I "catastrophize" a lot of my social anxiety. Basically, I'm scare of my own anxiety. When I think about certain situations that make me feel anxious, I realize that feeling anxious in that situation is perfectly normal, and a wave of relief washes over me. For example, if I have to deal with someone who's angry at me, or asking someone for their number. I'd easily get anxious in that situation, and then I start to panic and worry about how anxious I'm going to feel because I'm in that situation when in reality most normal people would feel a bit anxious too. The situation itself is actually NOT causing my excessive anxiety that I dread so much, it's my fear of my own anxiety.

Come to think of it, when I moved away to college when I wasn't nearly mentally prepared enough and had that nervous breakdown, that was when I really started to have anxiety (aside from just being extremely shy). I wonder if that left a pretty good trauma.

https://youtu.be/LxZDxF0MyV0

>>18314604
I feel kinda sad that I've never been sexually attracted to anyone.

I have this perfect image of her in my head
But she's obviously not
she's a lying hypocrite
but I can't get that perfect image of her out of my head

what do I do? I'm fucking stuck

>>18321576
You're passing off the blame to someone you think deserves it. We're all liars - we're all hypocrites. Maybe it isn't about the person but what you got or didn't get, what you need but don't gave, or what isn't right in your life right now. Allow time to pass and don't say anything when you're dealing with a reactive and negative person. It can give you time to let yourself heal and take the higher path and in time what you're angry about will disappear. Instead of picking apart past events and assigning blame - including yourself - realize that it is counter productive and bad things and misunderstandings happen. No one person is entirely to blame for the outcome. Deal with your biggest issue first - anger. Anger cases you from responding in a productive, cogent way. Meditation, exercise, long walks, saying less and allowing time to pass is an effective route to go before dealing with anyone else. Your thoughts are not fact so don't go into a toxic state of mind of trying to figure other out. You don't need to be so invested in your thoughts that are causing you suffering and stress. What happened, happened. It was terrible, sure. Is that what defines you? Try to forgive the other person - when you are ready - so you can live a life free of suffering which comes with holding onto the past. Do it for you. If you have wronged them it is always good for the conscious to reach out and express remorse. Good luck.