ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything GUIDELINES: Before you

Thanks for the new thread. Gonna ask again.

Girls, what's the deal with always chasing me each time I reject you? Just a while ago a girl I've been super cold to contacted me again. And I am cold towards her because she outright wanted to keep me at an arm's length.

What happened is that she was like "why are you telling me your stuff so early on?" even when we were growing to confide on each other, and she told me "dude take it slow". I couldn't handle her speed and I had already trusted my stuff to her, so she had with me (yes she did tell me stuff she doesn't tell anyone else with ease). I couldn't handle her proposal and I just outright refused to be close to her anymore. She has been wanting to approach since. And it's been a few months.

By the way, something similar happens with most girls I've had something romantic going on. Like my ex, who tried contacting me some weeks ago despite us having broken up like two years ago, and after she said really hurtful things about how she wanted some other kind of guy. Or some other girls who rejected me in one way or another but keep trying to contact me while I give them the cold shoulder.

Seriously what the fuck is going on? This is outright infuriating.

Girls:
Will you be my friend?

>girl doesn't like raw fish
>I do
;_;
Can we be a good couple?

Guys: Would you date a trans person? Not the tumblr type but the legitimately diagnosed type.

>>18313301
MtF, if I was bi I would. But I'm straight so I wouldn't.

FtM, assuming they like guys... They'd just confuse the shit out of me, but maybe yes.

My girlfriend and I got into a fight.

I messaged her, and she's reading the messages (sometimes) but not replying. She's giving me the silent treatment, and I don't know how to deal with it. How do I handle this? I'd go focus on something else, but when we get like this, all I can think about is her.

What do I do?

>>18313305
straight being that you're into guys?

>>18313315
We weren't there and have no idea what you fought about, so we can't form an opinion or help at all.

>>18313322
Uh no, I'm into girls. You specifically asked for guys to respond, and I'm a guy. I'm straight, as in, I like the female body and females in general.

>>18313331
but weren't you saying you're mtf?

>>18313325
I wasn't asking people to form opinions about a pointless argument.

>>18313301
I would fuck one if I found them attractive (which I rarely do), but I wouldn't have a relationship with one. Too much mental illness for me.

>>18313340
Can't you follow a conversation?

>>18313301 : Would you date a trans person?
>>18313305 : I'm a straight guy. It depends on the sort of trans person and even if they were a female originally I would leave it in a maybe.

>>18313340
If it has a dick, its a dude

If it has a penis, it is a penis.
If it has a vagina, it is a princess.
Prove me wrong.

MtF here. Transitioned about 6 years ago and married to a man.

Girls - how do you feel about transwomen? I've had half of you want to fuck me and the other half consider me literally Hitler stealing your gender. For the record I distance myself from all things LGBT and don't think there are more than 2 genders, so that might account for the latter half of you.

banned? why?

Men: how important is it for you to have a partner that fulfils your fetishes?

>>18313410
wtf why did my thread got 404'd then ):

>>18313411
As a man with little fetishes and more on the vanilla side, not very. More importantly I want a girl who doesn't need to have her fetishes satisfied, or that won't need me to apply any sort of pain to her.

>>18313411
Not at all as long as she puts in some damn effort.

Fetishes are only a bonus to me

>>18313407
No thanks, not for me.

I'm a dude who has made a few female friends through college. Some of these friendships have wound up pretty good, but others not so much.

The older girls I tend to have more mutual friendships with, closer to the kinds of friendships I have with the guys. But it seems like the younger ones--the ones younger than 26 or so--they all expect courtship behavior from me. Not just volunteering to drive or calling the shots, but buying them things, doing them favors, and stuff like that, even the ones with boyfriends. A lot of the time, if they expect this behavior from me, they expect it from their other guy friends, too.

Is this because that type of behavior is all young girls generally experience from guys? Or have I just made awful friends? Can some of you girls give me a bit of insight on this?

Guys,

I love my boyfriend dearly, but he has awful fashion sense. I usually don't care but I don't always want to be the one in the relationship who takes the time to look nice. How do I bring this up to him without being hurtful? Do I casually start picking out clothes for him while we're shopping or should I be more direct?

>>18313441
Invite him to go do some shopping and tell him you'll pick the clothes for him. If he doesn't take the time to look nice by himself he probably won't mind.

At least that should put grooming himself into his mind. Go with small steps and don't rush him.

>>18313407
Like in general? Real trans people are such a tiny minority that as an "identity group" they aren't really significant, same with gays/lesbians. So I'm ambivalent. I like Blaire White's videos.

>>18313434
>Is this because that type of behavior is all young girls generally experience from guys? Or have I just made awful friends?
I'm 20 and I've found that this has been my experience with men, until they find out that I have a boyfriend. In general I've been told men will only talk to women if there's the potential of dating them. That being said, I don't like this kind of behaviour and definitely don't expect it. I think you've just mad some bad friends.

I want to call or message a girl I have a dramatic history with, because I think just being able to say what's on my mind/get things off my chest would be a huge relief for me.

How do I word it without being overwhelming?

>>18313454
Write a letter to her but don't send it. Rip it up. Digging up old wounds from the past with her will only hurt both of you and cause drama.

how obvious is a lack of confidence?

>>18313025
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it isn't as nonstop for you as it is the guy I know.

Mostly I feel bad for guys like that. Pity, I guess. Not that I look down upon or think lesser of that guy. It's just, geez, lay off him a bit. Peer pity, is that a thing?
He is actually funny at times, and knows how to laugh at himself. I think most people in that position do, or at least learn to, which is a positive trait.
The trouble is that I'm not really sure if he brought the position upon himself by acting like a fool, or if he plays into the fool role he's been teased into.

It mostly just reflects negatively on those doing the scapegoating. Some girls go for that kind of blatant social dominance, some don't. Some girls like to help pick a guy up, some don't.

But, I'm just one person, and can only speak for myself. The scapegoat (god, it sounds awful using that as a label, doesn't it?) I know seems to be getting along with one girl, at least. Based on previous answers I got, he might also blow it by overdoing the dominance displays, but that's him, not you.

Guys: what are your fetishes?

>>18313464
Females that make me feel like their actually attracted to me rather than just letting me have sex

Can I please just find one of these to date rather than these all being "fling" girls? Please?

Me and this girl both live in a small country town with literally nothing to fucking do, I think she's interested in me, what are some things we could do together that would increase intimacy and at the same time not be forced/boring/awkward?

>>18313460
Extremely obvious. Mannerisms, speech etc. are all dead giveaways.

>>18313457
I've done that actually. Written a lot of letters, even.

Some insane things happened to us so it wasn't a conventional relationship/breakup, and we have two entirely different perspectives.

desu calling her is entirely for my sake, even if she doesn't pick up or respond.

GIRLS:

Where do I meet you? I did the "hobby" thing, do martial arts, auto cross, and I'm in school, I TALK to girls, and I even went on a few dates at the beginning of the year (still in contact, just not hot for each other) but, I'm still single.

So HOW? Any females do online dating? What draws you to a dude's profile? Been thinking about it

>>18313480
Your post reeks of desperation and that's one of my biggest turn offs. You can try online dating if you want, it won't hurt. Ask adv to look over it for you once you're done.

>>18313488
How to kill desperation? I really just want to feel wanted, I think.

>>18313441
just be more direct, jesus.

>>18313497
Do the exact opposite of what you are doing right now. If you have to ask how to kill desperation you come across as desperate.

Instead stop thinking about it. Seriously. Your emotions shouldn't rule you, so push them aside, take action, and you'll get what you want.

File: 2017-04-12-03-38-42--1733115792.jpg (6KB, 275x183px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 275x183px

>>18313268
Can somebody please explain to me what the FUCK women mean by "fuckboy"?
I've always used it to mean a pansy ass pussy beta bitch boy, like the type that would get passed around in prison, but I keep seeing it in girl's bios on Tinder and they're clearly using it to mean something very different.

What is a fuckboy? And why don't girls want them?

>>18313441
As long as you don't really bother him we really really don't mind, be direct just not agressive or pushy.

>>18313411
My main fetish is foot, so if she can't fulfill such a basic one, I'd have to break up with her.

>>18313464
Feet, rape fantasy, seeing the girl eat my cumcakes, tickles.

>>18313536
>tickles
Like you tickling her, or?

>>18313441
He onviously doesn't take the time to do anything fashion wise, so shy would he be bothered?
>you: hey babe, your clothes suck. We're gonna go shopping so that you don't look like a 13 year old.
>him: duuh, ok
Literally all the conversation that needs to be had.
Nobody teaches guys how to look good, so he might even appreciate it.

>>18313536
>so if she can't fulfill such a basic one, I'd have to break up with her.
So if she's disgusted by it, you would break up with her?

>>18313480

You went on dates so looks like the bigger issue is there? Like keep on going on dates. You ARE meeting girls, so what are you looking for? The perfect girl? Or are you being rejected too much?

I online dated, I looked for a guy who was serious about settling down, was handsome, and a stable life.

>>18313514
It use daily to mean exactly what you said. I'm a girl and that's still wwhat I think of when I see it.

Now it's become normalfag slang for "manwhore" basically. A guy who fucks around and pumps and dumps.

>>18313513
Push them aside and do what? Just do what I'm doing? Do I replace them with anything?

>>18313557
I dunno, I just seem to "click" with so few people. I can go on normal dates with normal girls, but I'm a weirdo into weird stuff, unfortunately I'm a handsome weirdo so I go on dates with normie girls and it's nice, but "Meh."

>>18313540
Both. Tickling her and getting tickled. The latter is easier to get. Many girls hate being tickled for some reason.

>>18313552
If that's the only bad thing about her, I'd just go see prostitutes and she'd never find out.

>>18313568
>I can go on normal dates with normal girls, but I'm a weirdo into weird stuff, unfortunately I'm a handsome weirdo so I go on dates with normie girls and it's nice, but "Meh."
You sound like my bf. Why are you trying to date normies then?

>>18313580
Because the loneliness between interesting people starts to sting, especially at 25.

>>18313568

Is it "meh" on their side, or "meh" on yours? If you are going on dates with them and you are the one deciding "meh" then try to open your own heart and mind. If they are the ones going "meh" then work on your own social skills. You can widen your pool but clearly the issue is not that "I can't meet girls".

>>18313589
You might be right. I don't think I have high standards, but I guess what I'm saying is I still feel lonely after talking to people all day and even after going on dates and things.

>>18313588
I mean, you're looking in the wrong places. If normie girls bore you why bother? You should try finding someone on 4chan imo. What kind of 'weird stuff' do you like?

File: 62d7ecc2a02aa1412f33d1ec279f9336.png (361KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

361KB, 640x480px

>>18313589
>le ebin no matter what's happening it's your fault meme

>>18313514
>>18313566

Also look at the 2nd definition here:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fuck%20boy

Its means something like a loser guy in general, that's the use I see on tumblr the most and it seems like that's the traditional usage:

http://jezebel.com/the-definition-of-fuckboy-is-not-what-bad-trend-pieces-1725157828

Help? >>18313276

>>18313600

Yeah, if you can't find anyone to date, the problem PROBABLY lies with you. That is true. Plus he is the only one who he can change. So rather than try to get all the women he meets to magically become the girl of his dreams, its more important that he opens his mind/heart to the girls he is already meeting and even going on dates with.

>>18313594

How are you defining lonely? Like you are still craving more interaction? When do you not feel lonely?

>>18313600
It's easier to sit and whine about how other people are the problem instead of changing yourself

>>18313612
>How are you defining lonely? Like you are still craving more interaction? When do you not feel lonely?
I'm not him but I totally understand what's he's going through. It feels like a huge hollow in your chest, like you NEED to have someone understand you for once and to connect with, and that you fear others will judge you for who you are and you cannot take the judgement anyways.

I'm going through the same really. I feel lonely even with my family or friends.

>>18313606
>>18313276

>Girls, what's the deal with always chasing me each time I reject you?
I've literally never met you.

> She has been wanting to approach since. And it's been a few months.
Block her and tell her to leave you alone,

>Like my ex, who tried contacting me some weeks ago despite us having broken up like two years ago, and after she said really hurtful things about how she wanted some other kind of guy. Or some other girls who rejected me in one way or another but keep trying to contact me while I give them the cold shoulder.
You are just that irresistible. "Cold shoulder" though is just broad...you just aren't really reaching out to them right? That allows them to revisit you and kind of gloss over the more obnoxious aspects of your personality. It happens a lot with some exes I guess.

>Seriously what the fuck is going on? This is outright infuriating.
Block them you dip.

>>18313276
The girls you met were shitty? The end. If someone told me to fuck off I wouldn't come crawling back like that.

>>18313628

IC. I think that's just the hole left by a lack of Jesus.

https://youtu.be/BiHIuU7kDRs

Try going to church with mom or maybe talking to a therapist about depression etc. Learn to love yourself first.

>>18313595
Entry tier weird things like anime, simulation games, scifi (like Delany or P. K. Dick), car nerd and math nerd, just enough to set me "apart." There are weird sexual things too, not furry-tier but Dom type stuff. I haven't tried online dating and don't know how I'd meet someone on the chan.

>>18313632
>I've literally never met you.
It's a figure of speech. As in, it happens WAY too often, and I don't want it. And when I actually want someone they go away - including the girls who have rejected me.

>Block her and tell her to leave you alone
If I do it'll create some friction with a common friend of mine (and yes he's important). I don't mind, but it still makes me wonder wtf is going through her head.

>You are just that irresistible. "Cold shoulder" though is just broad...you just aren't really reaching out to them right?
I am not. And when they try I don't even respond and may even block them. Cold shoulder.

>Block them you dip.
I do, except for the girl mentioned above they somehow find a way around. Don't ask me how.

>>18313635
Yes they were shitty. Yes, yours is exactly the logic they should follow and that I would want them to follow. And somehow it doesn't happen.

>>18313612
Pretty much how the other anon described. Just going day to day with face value interactions, even in intimate settings like dates or in friendships. A fear that I'll be "unloved" forever and then a subsequent fear that I deserve that fate.

>>18313645
>IC. I think that's just the hole left by a lack of Jesus.
Not gonna argue religion here, but no thank you.

>Try going to church with mom
She doesn't go.

>or maybe talking to a therapist about depression etc.
I'm looking for one.

>Learn to love yourself first.
Yeah, that should come along therapy.

>>18313650
>If I do it'll create some friction with a common friend of mine (and yes he's important).
Tell your common friend what's going on.

>I do, except for the girl mentioned above they somehow find a way around. Don't ask me how.
Lol ok poor you

>>18313658
>Tell your common friend what's going on.
Again I don't want to create friction and I don't mind that girl as much, but the fact she constantly tries to contact me baffles me even when I make literally zero effort to do so because I know it's not worth it, not if she's gonna keep me at an arm's length.

>Lol ok poor you
Can you stop with the passive aggressiveness and outright tell me what the fuck you're thinking in the first place?

If a girl i've been dating keeps being "distant", in that she doesn't really show affection and doesn't text - we see each other at work 3-4x a week.

Should i just drop this?
Every time i ask her she always "let's me know if she's free" when i ask

I feel like i'm just a side project

>>18313536
>>18313574
>My main fetish is foot, so if she can't fulfill such a basic one, I'd have to break up with her.
>I'd just go see prostitutes and she'd never find out.
Footfags ladies and gentlemen.

>>18313649
Try online dating places like OkCupid where you can list your interests and see other people's before you approach them, it'll help find people you click better with. It's not too hard to setup. Online dating is a sausage fest though, so you're going to have to be tenacious.

In terms of dating on the chan, what are your main boards? Have you tried posting on soc? It's pretty much as simple as if there's someone you're having a good convo with, ask for their contact. If they're a guy then you have another friend, if it's a girl then there's potential there.

>>18313650
>Yes they were shitty. Yes, yours is exactly the logic they should follow and that I would want them to follow. And somehow it doesn't happen.
There's probably something about these girls that was a red flag that you didn't realise. The last girl you talked to sounds nuts. Just move on anon, maybe be a little warier in future. I know it's easy to feel like every girl is like that because it's been your experience so far, but we're not.

>>18313665
Is she normally an affectionate person? Have you talked to her about how you feel?

>>18313665
Just don't bother anymore. She's not interested.

>>18313672
Main boards are /fit/ and /o/, I've been on /soc/ and it makes me sad how "normal" everything is... There are some cool people though, I get compliments in r8 threads and tips on my appearance.

>>18313656

Yeah expanding your dating pool isn't going to help you there. Deep intimate and loving relationships take time to build up. Don't your friends love you? Or do you feel isolated from them too?

>>18313657
>no thank you.

Don't say "no thank you". Its like saying "no thank you" when the doctor says you have cancer.

>>18313411
As long as she can fulfill a few of them, I'm cool. Nobody can like everything and that's just how it is. That said I also don't indulge in all of hers.

>>18313662

>Again I don't want to create friction
Here is your options

1) Sit like a weenie and take it. Stop bitching on the internet.
2) ~Create friction~

Like she is doing something you hate....and instead of talking to your friend you want me to fix it.

>Can you stop with the passive aggressiveness and outright tell me what the fuck you're thinking in the first place?
I'm thinking that you have a really specific and weird problem where all these women are subverting all your attempts at blocking them and you are asking internet randos to fix it but like....who cares.

>>18313665

Yeah I would say drop. She could have horrible social skills but if she's never letting you "know when she's free" that's the biggest red flag. If she wanted to be with you she would let you know when she is free. If she doesn't want to be with you, then that's the nicest way of excusing herself.

Stinks that you are dating a coworker though.

>>18313672
>There's probably something about these girls that was a red flag that you didn't realise.
And which is also very probably a common factor I'm subconsciously looking for. That's a good point. If I had to pinpoint it? My ex is the one I know the best so maybe...

My ex tried to contact me, apparently, after she broke up with her last bf. I know they were together in the first place, I know who the guy is, and I know she isn't with him on her last picture. I also know my ex didn't respect me at all - she made it very clear she didn't like how I am when she last broke up with me, although she tried chasing me two weeks later, like always.

One girl I had a romantic affair with, and maybe one of the most important ones in my life? I don't know she has always wanted to talk with me. I don't know what she sees in me, but I think she believes I'm her fallback guy of sorts?

It leads me to think the girls find it very easy to take advantage of me at every level, using me and ditching me at the first moment they see fit. Which wouldn't be reaching too far really, I'm very generous when I'm in love.

>The last girl you talked to sounds nuts.
I realized, I don't want to befriend her.

>Just move on anon, maybe be a little warier in future.
I don't even know how to realize that before it goes to shit.

>I know it's easy to feel like every girl is like that because it's been your experience so far, but we're not.
I'm glad that's the case.

>>18313687
>1) Sit like a weenie and take it. Stop bitching on the internet.
You literally have no reading comprehension do you? Read above, that's more along the lines of what I'm asking for. If you don't care don't respond.

>>18313679
Feel a bit isolated from my friends, yes. I was in the army for a while and ETS'd almost a year ago, came back to hometown, was hard to go from "surrounded by friends" to "everyone is an acquaintance who wants to see you fail" but I fought through most of the depression, I think

File: 1075269-bigthumbnail.jpg (115KB, 450x353px) Image search: [Google]

115KB, 450x353px

>girl stares at you insistingly.
>girl stares and pretend she doesn't when you stare back.
>girl stares and smiles.
>girl stares shyly.

>whenever you respond, she pretends like nothing happened when she clearly wanted you to react and look or smile back.


Literally why do you do this roasties?
It's obvious you play with us, but sometimes I just wonder why they see me as an easy target...

File: 1475044155174.jpg (112KB, 500x749px) Image search: [Google]

112KB, 500x749px

>>18313464
none, i conform with anything.
Jk, nurses are a HUGE turn on or this kind of women in sports clothes

I have a crush on my coworker. I don't know if she likes me, because as someone who has never received any "signals," I don't know what they look like. I'm always the person she texts with questions about work (what time she's supposed to be in, how to do certain things, etc), despite me not being her boss. She's texted me about non-work things twice, but both times it was on a work day. I've never spoken to her outside of work.

The other day, one of my other coworkers unsolicitedly told me that the girl and I would "make a cute couple."

What do.

I know the usual advice is to "just do it, you have nothing to lose, etc." But that's not really true when it's at work.

File: 1490803639657.jpg (83KB, 890x582px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 890x582px

>>18313461
Thanks for the reply. I don't overcompensate with girls (completely the opposite actually - too reserved), but I do try and stand up for myself in my social group even if it does leave me more ridiculed than others. People react differently, I guess.

If you want to help that guy, I recommend just being a kind friend. I know the only reason I stay with my "friend" group is because I don't have any others and I can't take total social isolation for months on end. 1 friend is worth more than a million people that talk shit to you endlessly in return for their company.

>>18313702
I think it's because we want to show you we're interested, but still tend to expect you to make the first move.

File: 2762458_socks_lookbook.jpg (243KB, 648x860px) Image search: [Google]

243KB, 648x860px

>>18313464
I'm a leg man personally. Just wear a skirt stockings/thigh highs etc and I'm set.

>>18313691
>It leads me to think the girls find it very easy to take advantage of me at every level, using me and ditching me at the first moment they see fit. Which wouldn't be reaching too far really, I'm very generous when I'm in love.
That's probably it. There are people, like those girls, who will bleed you dry if you show even a hint of kindness. You sound like a decent enough guy anon, so please don't take this as a sign to be less generous. It's not your fault for being taken advantage of, it's their fault for being shitty people.

But with that being said, you should definitely try to dial it down when you're just in the beginnings of a relationship with someone, and watch how they react when you do something nice for them. If they start coming back to you with their hands out then you know what's up.

>>18313721
Have you tried to talk to her about non-work related things or do you wait for her to make conversation? Do you actually talk to her in person? By the sounds of it I think you're just 'that guy in the office who helps me with stuff sometimes'.

If you and your ex parted ways semi-amicably (both a little salty) how would you go about uh, tracking them down to "bump into?" I really just crave conversation with someone who "got" me, been pretty down lately.

>>18313726
Sorry but I've heard bullshit like this so many times.
I'm no looker and I've had literal 10/10 cuties do this to me and I'm pretty sure they were just playing me for cheap attention.

I just seem to have a hard time admiting roasties are that selfish and discriminating.

So, my throbbing hard cock in my friend's girlfriends pussy, we both enjoyed, what now?

>>18313737
I'm not sure I know what you're looking for, then, anon. Do you think every woman who smiles at you is trying to lead you on?

>>18313732
We've chatted about non-work things, in person, but haven't really had a prolonged conversation. The nature of work I do makes that nearly impossible. She's also only been there for like a week.

You're probably right, though, she isn't interested. I knew that, but tried entertaining the doubt. Oh well.

>>18313732
>That's probably it. There are people, like those girls, who will bleed you dry if you show even a hint of kindness.
I hate that. One of the therapists I had in the past (more on that in a moment) outright told me people usually are super self centered and won't really care about what I think or feel, unless I enforce it.

>You sound like a decent enough guy anon, so please don't take this as a sign to be less generous.
Thank you very much for your words, I'm on a rough patch right now and that helps a lot.

>It's not your fault for being taken advantage of, it's their fault for being shitty people.
There has be something I'm looking for, subconsciously, that these people have. I don't know what it is.

>But with that being said, you should definitely try to dial it down when you're just in the beginnings of a relationship with someone, and watch how they react when you do something nice for them. If they start coming back to you with their hands out then you know what's up.
Okay so two things here.

One, you're right. Maybe I should gauge other's reactions before. Although the girl I talked about before, she reacted in the same way I did, talking to me about some personal stuff (pretty early on, but hey I thought she was comfortable with it) at the same time as I did. Then somehow she felt overwhelmed and pushed me away. And I'm not gonna take that. Not again.

The second thing though is that I'm not exactly ready for a relationship right now. I've been thinking, and you know, I cannot take criticism. I take it to heart, and I literally gauge my worth that way. I can't be in a relationship if I'm this susceptible, I'll just drive her away like the others. I'm thinking all sorts of shitty things about myself and I'm also trying to get therapy. I've had therapists in the past but I've never finished a therapy properly, and as such I'm now looking for a new one.

>>18313301
Not in a million years.

File: Untitled.jpg (3KB, 151x70px) Image search: [Google]

3KB, 151x70px

This is a crop of a woman's breasts from an R-18 video. Her veins start to bulge and are quite noticeable towards the end of the video. What does this mean, is it just arousal?

>>18313737
Punch them in the face next time if it bothers you that much.

>>18313672
She used to grope me at work and tease me, but doesn't really do it as much anymore

>>18313673
>>18313687
I've got a party with her next Sat, so if nothing happens there or it feels cold i'll just end it

>>18313749
>She's also only been there for like a week.
In that case it's way, way too early to tell. You're busy at work and she's probably nervous because she's in a new environment. Start texting her about non-work stuff if you can't talk in person and see where it go.

>>18313754
>people usually are super self centered and won't really care about what I think or feel, unless I enforce it.
I would agree, actually. I've had the same experience with you in that people will take my kindness but will never return it or even think of returning it. I do want to reiterate that there are decent people out there though, you just have to dig a little, unfortunately.

>Thank you very much for your words, I'm on a rough patch right now and that helps a lot.
You're welcome anon. Please keep your chin up. Don't give up on people, there is good out there.

>There has be something I'm looking for, subconsciously, that these people have. I don't know what it is.
Were they all kind to you in the beginning? Was there ever anything that bothered you about them? I would try to dissect is with you but I don't know them obviously.

>Then somehow she felt overwhelmed and pushed me away.
That's really on her then, not you, so I hope you're not taking it to heart. She has some issues she needs to sort out herself.

>The second thing though is that I'm not exactly ready for a relationship right now. I've been thinking, and you know, I cannot take criticism. I take it to heart, and I literally gauge my worth that way.
You're probably right, you need to learn to validate yourself instead of relying on others to do it for you. But you seem to have figured that out already. A therapist would be a good idea I think, gauging the fact that you're posting here, you don't have many people to talk about your feelings with do you?

>>18313818
>I would agree, actually. I've had the same experience with you in that people will take my kindness but will never return it or even think of returning it. I do want to reiterate that there are decent people out there though, you just have to dig a little, unfortunately.
Sadly the digging part implies putting myself out there. And that's difficult to do already.

>You're welcome anon. Please keep your chin up. Don't give up on people, there is good out there.
I don't want to but I'm emotionally worn out, really.

>Were they all kind to you in the beginning?
Yes.

>Was there ever anything that bothered you about them?
How they'd readily manipulate my emotions to make me feel guilty. I don't think I ever felt safe with them.

>I would try to dissect is with you but I don't know them obviously.
Yeah so all I can do is to find the causes within myself.

>That's really on her then, not you, so I hope you're not taking it to heart. She has some issues she needs to sort out herself.
I did take it to heart when it happened, and the feeling crystallized into me not caring about her anymore. She has some trust issues and of course I don't really want to be close to her.

>You're probably right, you need to learn to validate yourself instead of relying on others to do it for you. But you seem to have figured that out already.
Exactly. And I cannot do this by myself. I lack the tools to do it.

>A therapist would be a good idea I think, gauging the fact that you're posting here, you don't have many people to talk about your feelings with do you?
Not safely at least. I always fear I'll be judged at some level so I always keep something to myself. It's very difficult to be entirely honest because otherwise I risk being ostracized and that's too much for me to deal with. There are some people I trust more than others, but never to the extent where I can feel entirely safe.

Oh and because I moved I had to leave all my friends one year ago and I have none where I live.

>>18313848
Would you be willing to talk outside of this thread?
Normally I wouldn't ask, but I feel like you sound like you need someone to talk it out with and that we're quite similar people. I have a bf already so I'm not trying to gain anything from you.

>>18313901
Figured you'd ask. Send a mail to [email protected] (throwaway mail) and we can agree on a contact method there.

>>18313911
Shit, wait, don't! The account didn't get saved, gimme some minutes while I set this up!

>>18313911
Weird, it generated a new email account anyways and it didn't change now. Try [email protected]

>>18313407
Generally I dislike the SJW type trans, but if they're just normal people, then I have no issues. I wouldn't date one though (in spite of being bi) since I feel like there would be way too much mental issues.

>>18313901
I responded!

>>18313407
I don't really care as long as you're not an asshole about it, but I probably wouldn't date a trans person for... several reasons, actually.

>>18313474
I'm a guy, but hiking is pretty cool and gives you a chance to be alone together.

File: mostly straight.png (185KB, 540x304px) Image search: [Google]

185KB, 540x304px

>>18313301
I'm a virgin male. I want to have my first time with a real vagina, but I'm open for subsequent times.

So basically, I hope to have sufficient dating experience before meeting a trans, or meet a trans who would be gracious enough to let me sleep with a cis woman first.

How do I arrange a date (like a literal calendar date) when asking girls out? The advice I've read & heard seem to contradict each other.

>girls like it when the guy plans the date
I can easily think of WHAT to do, that's no problem. The biggest hurdle for me is trying to arrange WHEN to do them.

>don't ASK girls out on a date; be assertive and TELL them that they should go out with you
It seems kind of presumptuous to think that they could just make time for me willy-nilly. I don't know what their work/school hours are like. What am I supposed to do, just tell them "Let's go out for dinner Saturday night," and hope that their schedule is completely free? And if they're busy Saturday night, then what? Just keep randomly throwing dates until something works? "Okay, then let's make it Sunday night instead. No wait, Tuesday. Fine, then Wednesday." Jesus Christ. And if I ask them what their schedule is like, then whoops, I just *asked* them something.

>>18313780
Bump

>>18313480
You're trying too hard probably.

I really want to get into the pants of this one girl I know. The thing is, she's very conservative and isn't interested in seeing guys right now. What's a good way of breaking through the iron virgin armor?

The girl I've been dating for a few months won't stop talking about her 'best' guy friend. Every time we talk, she'll find something to hook back to something he did or said. They don't even live close! It's a day's travel just to meet each other. At first I laughed it off and we had something to talk about, but months later she's repeating the same old stories and I get the feeling there's more to this than just friends. Either she has trouble moving on or she never had the need to move on in the first place, and both ideas are turning me mad jealous. At first she kept mentioning he's just a friend, but things have been suspiciously quiet about that detail lately, either because "I should know by now" or "something changed"?

I've started avoiding conversation whenever she mentions him, but it's not working. In the beginning she changed her stories from "XX said blahblahblah" to "a friend of mine said blahblahblah (but same story)", but now she's back to mentioning him by name all the time. Thinking about outright asking her what the deal is with him, but I'm conflicted. What's the right thing to do when the girl you've been involved with for a while keeps talking about some other guy?

>>18313301
>Guys: Would you date a trans person? Not the tumblr type but the legitimately diagnosed type.

No, if I wanted to hear how I'm an evil pig who just wants one thing I'd date a white or jewish actual woman.

I know you said you're not the tumblr type, but I've had the unfortunate experience to know trannies don't have to go on tumblr. They read magazines, they talk to bitter old hags, they go to LGBT rallies and make friends with tumblr types.

At least if it's an actual woman they'd have ignorance as an excuse, but most trannies have lived, even if it didn't feel right, as both genders.

>>18313301
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qByoSBhNNA

m..maybe

>>18314327
i know what you mean. feels shit bro

>>18314327
Just straight out ask what's going on and explain how it makes you feel.

People in relationships: do you ever run out of things to talk about?

>>18314406
yes, at least I do, sometimes I wish she would just shut up.

Girls and guys

Is there anything wrong with living through other people's experiences? I have no plans for getting a girlfriend. So I just like to read and listen to people's stories to the point where I can visualize it in my head using my imagination. I've actually learned a whole lot about relationships without ever having one. There has been times my friends have told me about problems they have with their girlfriends, and just from everything I've gathered, I understand what they are talking about, without my own personal experience.

>>18314428
Sad as fuck my dude. I knew a guy a while back that had pretty much no friends and used to record conversations from the break room and mime to them in his office and pretend he was living as different people at work.

He didn't actually speak to anyone though, we all found out by accident one day. It was some creepy shit. You're not too far off becoming him anon.

>>18314431

I have friends.. any my friends know I don't have a girlfriend. I'm not like, playing a role or anything. I don't act like I've had relationships. Just, from all of what I've learned through others. To me, I feel like I understand people when they talk about their relationships.

It's like if you read a lot about astronauts and life in space. You can learn a lot from reading, seminars, documentaries, movies. But that doesn't mean you think you're an astronaut

>>18314440
It sounds more like you're using this information for imagination purposes to fill the void of not having a gf and using your friends experiences as a coping mechanism and excuse.

>>18314442

Yeah, it works pretty well Tbh

>>18314127
Which veins? The ones on her neck or on her breasts?

Veins can bulge for different reasons, rise in blood pressure being the most common one, this could be caused by arousal or exhaustion. Veins can also dilate as a side effect of some medications, insufficiency of the right heart or the vein being jammed (by anything inside or outside the vein).

Bulging of the visible veins on the neck, i.e. vena jugularis externa usually indicates a rise in intrapulmonary pressure and occurs along with asthma attacks, pulmonary edema, myocardial infarction or pulmonary embolism. (Which are all conditions that would have made the woman stop her R18 performance)

tl;dr: Yep, it's probably arousal

>>18314256
Don't. That's literally unironically basically rape no memeing.

>really get off on the idea of a guy cumming inside me without any BC
>don't actually want to get pregnant until I'm married
>don't want to murder any babies
how do?

>>18314486
Choose 2

>>18314486
If this is really your #1 fantasy, get plan B. Beforehand, so you can take it right after sex. It's as reliable as other forms of BC. Just be aware that you'll experience a worse forced period in turn, and it is heavy on your body so don't go around doing this every month.

File: tuzx_12.jpg (1MB, 1412x1601px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1412x1601px

>>18314486
only fuck sterile guys :)

>>18314406
Never experienced it so far. I think in a good match the key is that you aren't necessarily telling each other your go to anecdotes, opinions and so on, but you feel an urge to go all stream of consciousness with them and just talk about your perception of, thoughts on etc stuff happening continuously in the present. I tell my SO stuff I usually never get to telling anyone else. It's nice, like reaching a deeper layer.

You don't worry about running out of shit to talk about with your family either, right?

>>18314510

>You don't worry about running out of shit to talk about with your family either, right?

implying everyone has a relationship with their family

>>18314428
In itself, no. Imagination is actually a very powerful tool to prepare yourself for the real deal. Children's play is literally nature's design for teaching kids about life. All the playing house they do is reinforcing/internalizing what adults act like to themselves and each other, grasping the world.
Especially if you do not seek out unrealistic/overly positive portrayals, putting yourself in other people's shoes can do lots for you.

But the risk is that it satisfies you to an extent where you don't feel the need anymore to go out and get those experiences for yourself. It shouldn't be a way to rationalize not chasing something you deep down know you want.

>>18314515
It was just an example that is more likely to apply to posters here than very close and very long term friends.

>>18314510
>You don't worry about running out of shit to talk about with your family either, right?

Actually I never know how to talk to my younger sister.

>>18314525
But that is probably because you are not on the same wavelength, have a damaged relationship, whatever. Not because you were once getting on like a wildfire but then you ran out of things to talk about.

My dick is curved horizontally. Should I give up on life?

>>18314518

>you don't feel the need anymore to go out and get those experiences for yourself

I don't see why this matters Tbh. If it's something I don't "need", then why does that matter if I experience it or not?

I think Space is fascinating. I like learning all about it and listening to stories. But I know I'll never go to space. and I'm ok with that. I just see relationships almost the same way

Ex girlfriends mom and I got along super well. She gave me this oversized tote bag that I use pretty much everyday and reminds me of her each time.

Would have loved to have her as an in-law but the daughter got caught up with her friends misery loves company bullshit and killed my trust in something long term.

Is a lame idea to send a text to the ex to wish a Mother's Day greeting?

>>18314534
Well, obviously if you 100% do not desire relationships then there is nothing wrong with not going after them. But if you say that when your friends talk about relationships you don't just listen intently but actively wonder about what that looks like and put yourself in the situation, that doesn't sound to me like you have no desire for them. Surely you would go to space if you had the option, not? And if you feel like you are "okay" with not being in a relationship because you are convinced it will never happen, then it's not a sincere lack of need but a rationalization of why you won't go there.

Also I understand your comparison obviously but people are hard-wired to be together with others. It does something to anyone but the most rare exceptions to be touched, held, get that regular acknowledgment that you are accepted, that you matter, that your life is witnessed/shared.

>>18314543
It's not a lame idea but I wouldn't go there. Chances are your ex hears about it and it looks like you are trying to pop up on HER radar.

I would just keep it in mind and if you ever run into her, tell her short and sweet how much you appreciated her as a person.

File: IMG_0917.jpg (3MB, 4032x3024px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 4032x3024px

>>18314548
>but actively wonder about what that looks like and put yourself in the situation

I admit, I do this a lot. But, sometimes it's difficult for me to imagine. For example, it's hard for me to imagine a girl laying in my bed with me. When I have imagined it, it seems sort of off putting. Same with when I hung out with my friend and his girlfriend last time. We were out in town, and several times his girlfriend would just get real close to him and the would kiss. If I tried to imagine that happening to me, it seems offputting. Like - "what, I would never do that.."

>surely you'd go to space if you had the option

Honestly lol, no I wouldn't. If SpaceX invited me to go to the ISS on the next mission, I'd decline. That shit would be scary, I'm ok with staying on earth. (Pic related SpaceX)
Well, I just don't think it's something I'm suppose to experience. Maybe it's because of my upbringing. But yeah. I mentally can't fathom me actually having a romantic relationship with another person. It doesn't seem real

Girls,

What does it mean if you hang out with your fresh boyfriend for like one week straight, you go to a cabin for a weekend and get really smashed to the point you don't remember what happened.
(I might have said and done something stupid, but no one really remembers what exactly)

Next morning we still hooked up, but after we left the woods back to the city she said that she wants some distance and own time, but I kinda know she wasn't alone this whole time but instead went to see some other friends.

Now she leaves me texts on "Seen" and if I ask something what can I do she says that no she doesn't need anything right now.

Am I worried for nothing or is this really something I should wait to be over and see if she texts me first?

>>18314567
You know better how you feel and what you do or don't want than I do. I just pointed it out because you asked whether it was unhealthy, and in my opinion - not at all by itself, but it does come with some risk in this form. If that doesn't apply, all clear.

As for not feeling jealousy or feeling put off by the situation, that's normal. The alternative is normal as well, but the whole thing about being crazily attracted to someone emotionally and physically is that it makes you want to do things that would otherwise gross you out. Making out is really just touching and licking each other's tongue, that's absolutely disgusting as a concept. So just because you can't imagine being in your friend's shoes and kissing his girlfriend doesn't really mean anything by itself.

Feeling incredulous that it could happen to you etc is entirely normal and pretty harmless. I just feel like a lot of guys on here force themselves in a position of either obsessing over relationships or vowing to write them off... there's a lot in between that! Allow life to surprise you and catch you off guard sometime, if you can. If you are happily single there's no reason to actively try to change that.

What does "Loves to travel" mean on a girl's profile?

>>18314579
That she is used to having enough money.

>>18314569
You're not too worried. This is very odd behavior. I can't tell you obviously what exactly is going on but it sounds like she either fucked up towards you (eg cheated when drunk) or feels like she fucked up by getting with you (eg you are a rebound and she realized she's not over the ex and many other options). Especially the whole diving headfirst for a week then pulling back hard sounds to me like she's having a bit of mixed feelings about whether or not she made the right choice.

You really have no option than to give her some space and hope for the best. If she doesn't step up her game and eventually starts communicating about what's going on with her, that relationship never had much potential to begin with, lulls and fights/distance always come sooner or later and it depends on how well you can work that out whether that's a big deal. Hoping the best for you.

>>18314543
Do you have the mom's number? If not, don't do it.

>>18314579
Spoiled basic bitch. Has no real hobbies.

>>18314575

Well I never imagine my friend's girlfriends...that would be weird. I've just tried imagine some random QT laying in bed with me. But it seems odd everytime. I honestly think if I did get a girlfriend, it probably wouldn't last very long. She'd surely dump me because of my lack of experience and I'm not going to do lovey dovey shit.

Yeah being alone can be difficult at sometimes. Just the part about having to keep my issues to myself. But what can I do? I am used to it now. I really think girl would just cause me more problems.

>>18314586

>loves to travel
>has no real hobbies

Traveling is superior hobby

>>18314593
Girls who list 'loves to travel' on their tinder profile have no other hobbies. If you talk to them they'll tell you about that time they went to Ibiza and drank like, sooooo much XD. It's the 'hobby' of rich, boring prats.

>>18314583
I know for a fact that nobody cheated anyone at the cabin, but something happened to her right before we left. She got a text message from some guy because she was like:

>"Oh, so NOW this monkey replies!"

Because of my past relationship I have little trust issues so whenever she opens up Tinder or replies to messages like from this guy I cant be but little nervous.

I really hope she didn't do anything stupid and it is just me that went overboard back at the cabin. She mentioned something that I was really annoying and she almost walked away because of it, but what happened at the morning I don't think she was bothered that much, we fucked at least...

I blame the guy she contacted after we left.

>>18314610
>whenever she opens up Tinder
Why is she on tinder if you're dating her?

>>18314602

That's not really "traveling"

>>18314617
Well, I guess she isn't on Tinder anymore because I was seeing her for 3 weeks before we started actually dating and during that time she was always on Tinder even when she clearly invited me over and I hang out with her everyday.

But she has a roommate (girl) who was single during this time as well, but recently she started dating as well, little after me and my gf decided to give it a go, so I guess they don't hook up in Tinder anymore (they did this group date kind of thing)

But there are definitely some old contacts she keeps because of what happened this weekend.

File: It appears i've been stabbed.jpg (104KB, 447x581px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 447x581px

>Date girl regularly for a month, 1-2 a week
>suddenly goes quiet over social media with me, and when hanging in group she doesn't touch me as much.
Part of me suspects this is neediness on my part, but such a sudden drop in interest is kinda jarring

>just want someone as honest about interests/feelings as me

Guys and gals

Is is normal to burp every single minute of the day? I have developed severe flatulence issues over the years and am under 30. Stats pls, how many times do you burp in a day?

>>18314550
>>18314586

No I don't. I was gonna shoot a note to the ex. I mean, we're still cordial in person but don't reach out to talk anymore

>>18314650
Not at all. I never counted it but at most five times a day, perhaps? And that's feeling it yourself, I can still swallow it down, or you get that sort of "urp" noise in your throat without it being a full blown burp. Absolutely go days without doing it as well. To be fair I don't drink carbonated stuff often, though.

It sounds to me like you might be allergic to a common food and that's causing your gas?

>>18314650
none usually
when i drink beer or soda very fast, once or twice

>>18314646
so how have you reacted to this? do you also talk less to her and touch her less?

>>18314693
Pretty much stopped talking over whatsapp for like a week and yeah.
Still ask her to hang/date but i always seem to get a "ill see if i'm free" "oh i'm busy on that day, but i wont tell you when i am"

She was in an awful mood for most of last week, so i figured to give her some space

Girls, would you ever give a relationship another chance if you found out the guy you were dating fucked someone else while drunk if they showed genuine regret afterwards?

>>18314759
Even as a guy i wouldn't ever take anyone back after cheating, especially if drink was involved
It's not like you don't know your currently dating someone - you chose to drink until you lost control, therefore i chose to dump your dumb ass

What is with girls constantly proclaiming how mature they are? especially when they're younger than you

>>18313743
Now you give her your home, car and pet.

>>18314533
No one cares.

>>18314543
Bang the mom.

>>18314779
It means they are stuck up bitches.

My girlfriend has a belly that she's extremely sensitive about. She's not fat, it just sticks out a little. She came back from getting her eyebrows done today and the woman who did it asked her if she was pregnant. What can I possibly say to cheer her up?

>>18314806

Tell her that she shouldn't care what some idiot beautician thinks. They're well known for having low IQ's, shitting out kids at 17 and then falling for the beauty meme to make money when their baby daddy leaves them. She was probably jealous of how young, pretty and mistake free your girlfriend is, felt intimidated and tried to connect with her the only way she could - through asking about children, which I guarantee will be the biggest thing in her life.

Unless your girlfriend genuinely looks pregnant, she shouldn't take it to heart too much. It's totally normal to be a bit bloated too, which was probably the cause.

>>18313497
Love yourself more. Get comfortable being alone (as in without a partner) to the point where you no longer feel lonely. Focus on making friends and furthering your hobbies.

>>18313702
They're into you numbnuts.

If I ask a girl I like if she's going to some event first to decide if I go myself or not (because I'm not super interested in the event but I'd go if she goes) does that make me a beta orbiter?

File: rock n roll.png (643KB, 1022x731px) Image search: [Google]

643KB, 1022x731px

Dating girl for 3 months, and frankly i've hit the point where i resent her
She doesn't talk, she doesn't suggest to try new things and frankly apart from being thicc i don't know why i went for her in the first place - she's fucking boring

I think it was because she was a "strong" woman who knew what she wanted
How disappointing...


Should i pull her aside one day and just have a frank talk about us?

Im a man and sweat a lot. Not fat.
Does the mayority of women find this disgusting?

File: KP_3.jpg (131KB, 1080x1290px) Image search: [Google]

131KB, 1080x1290px

Women
How much does the shyness of a woman affect her relationships? Or her possible relationships?
Would a shy woman reject a man due to her own shyness and fear? Even if she really likes him.

File: Siss_2.png (884KB, 1366x768px) Image search: [Google]

884KB, 1366x768px

>>18315132
I may be just a perma virgin autisticboy but i get you
She may just be that, boring, but she may really like you too, she may be afraid of being herself or something.

>>18313301
No way.

Hey so this is for guys and girls. Recently I've gone on a couple dates and always kissed and kind of made out at the end of the night, so I wanted to ask from both genders

Should I just let instinct take over? Like each time I've basically just shut my brain off and let my instincts kick in and such. I really don't think about what to do or how to kiss, I just do it.

Is that fine or do I need to learn technique?

>>18315227
>she may really like you too, she may be afraid of being herself
That's the thing that makes me the most mad

File: sissi_11.jpg (486KB, 960x720px) Image search: [Google]

486KB, 960x720px

>>18315247
I'm currently going on through the same, i feel that this one girl is just too shy, way too shy
>>18315201
But i'm just giving it a try, i like her enough to wait some months, to give her space and all that, i do really like her, do you like the woman you're talking about enough to deal with all that?

>>18315249
I've got a houseparty that we're both going too on Friday and if the chemistry isn't there even with some booze then i'm going to have a talk with her, and most likely, break things off

Better to rip the bandaid off than let it fester

Good luck with your girl anon

I'm moving to a new city soon and it's dawning on me I don't know how I'm going to make any platonic female friends. What should I do?
>inb4 group activities, etc
How do I find these things? I've never actually done them

>>18315263
>meetup.com
>tinder
>google "how to meet people in X"
>ask coworkers

>>18313276
You probably dated bad girls. Also girls cant handle rejection. You gain value in their eyes the more resistance you put against them. Take it as a sign being chad.

Try to find nicer girls or abuse them more from start.

>>18313301
I want to eventually marry and have kids with my gf. So no.

>>18313315
Just wait it out. Prepare for break up.

>>18313411
Not much. Ideally you arent star fish and use sex as fun, not a manipulation / reward for me.

>>18313441
>hurtful
Just tell him his fashion is horrible and buy him entire new wardrobe. Very high chance he wont care at all.

>>18313454
Dont. Save yourself pain.

>>18313460
Like 9 out 10 obvious.

>>18313464
Never ask this your bf unless you are looking for excuse to break up.

>>18313474
Coop game? Park? Trip to city? Alcohol? Sport?

>>18313480
Stop being so desparate and lower your standards.

>>18313665
Try to use radio silence. Maybe she likes you so she will text you. If not, you got your answer.

>>18313702
Ask her on date. Dont think, buy condoms and have fun.

>>18314062
Stop overthinking problems. Ask her when she has free time.

>>18314256
Keep dating her. Even girls get horny. When she do, you want to be around. Start handholding her and getting cuddly. In the worst case scenario you will marry her before sex.

>>18314327
I would drop her. Are you me? :-)

>>18314428
That is stupid. Go get your own gf.

>>18314486
Vasectomy. Counting fertile and infertile days based on your period. Anti sperm cream. Dragon dildo with cum tube.

>>18314533
No, you will be fine.

>>18314579
That she is so shallow with no hobbies she put travelling there. Avoid.

>>18314650
Go to doctor. Might be something nasty.

>>18314806
Tell her you love her and then eat her pussy.

>>18315122
Just ask her on date.

>>18315132
Drop the bitch.

>>18315180
When you apply right deodorant, you dont smell and that is important. Also you can try anti respirant to stop the sweating.

>>18315222
Forget the girl, find new one.

>>18315275
Will see what it's like at the house party and if it's a no go i'll drop her before the end of next week

>>18315275
>You probably dated bad girls. Also girls cant handle rejection. You gain value in their eyes the more resistance you put against them. Take it as a sign being chad.
I don't care about being chad. But you know what? When I was dating my ex, one girl tried contacting me. I told my ex, and she told me how girls do this because "they want what they can't get". (Un)surprisingly enough she did the same not too long ago

>Try to find nicer girls or abuse them more from start.
The former is very difficult. I am not willing to abuse anyone. And I'm not psychologically fit to have a girlfriend anyways.

>>18313276
A couple of reasons. First of all human psychology is kind of shitty in that we tend to take people for what they give themselves out to be. This is why girls don't like it if guys are too eager with showing how much they like them. If I like you, I perceive you as a desirable person, someone attractive with appealing qualities. If I try to talk to you starting from that assumption, and your entire demeanor gives off the vibe that it would be an act of mercy for me to tolerate your very presence, then that's jarring and subconsciously lowers my opinion to meet your portrayal of yourself.
It's like men with women and sex: most men will hound women for sex from the get go, but they actually want sex from women who hold it out then give it to them. Because that says - I think I am worthy of more/better than just every guy who shows interest in me. And I think you're better than other guys who show interest in me. It means more to get her attention and validation if she does not give it away just like that.
And for the record, having been a desperate to please teenage girl with big crushes, let me assure you that men don't like emotionally desperate girls as much as they tend to think they do, either.

Getting off track here but the conclusion is - there's a healthy middle road between being distant or an asshole, and being a doormat. Now I don't know whether you mistake not being a doormat for being distant, or that you just know immature girls who go overboard and respond most to guys who act above everyone. Both are very possible.

On top of this phenomenon, people tend to value a sure deal less than something they can chase, that's exciting and unsure. It sounds like the girl you talk most about did like you, to an extent, she just had mixed feelings. When you decided that her terms weren't working for you (also: major sign of taking yourself and your own needs seriously, quite attractive), she was probably caught by surprise.

dating a girl for a few months now. there have been a few instances where we've had deep talks regarding her life and situation that got emotional, one instance included me going to pick her up/drive her home after she had an awful night out and wanted someone to talk too.

I had a shitty night last night regarding my family, I couldn't talk to anyone else besides her and figured id give her a call. Told her my situation and she got concerned, called numerous times, and spoke for a short minute (shes on a trip and was coming back from having a few drinks out with some friends.)

for some reason I feel like I just scared her away or made her think differently of me and the status of our relationship. I feel like I just fucked it up and made her realize im some emotional basket case. Is this thing fucked up? im still all anxious and depressed from last night.

>>18314759
No. Fucking someone takes a lot of steps and he'd have many chances to feel regret during it. I'd dump the asshole

>>18315320
She thought she could have her cake and eat it too, then you confronted her with the reality that nope, you have a say in that as well. With the result that whereas while the relationship was budding she was probably leaning towards the side of caution, wondering whether you were moving too fast, the moment it was decided for her she was put in the other perspective and realized renewed what she actually lost that WAS there.

I'm going to disregard your ex because wanting to fall back on someone safe/familiar is a tale as old as time. Often has to do with new developments in their life not working out as they'd hoped and following nostalgia. Sometimes with realizing that finding "better" people/fits isn't as easy as they thought.

It is also quite likely that at least some of the girls you were chatting with more casually just kind of toyed with you for attention and/or validation, and felt like the rug was pulled out from underneath them when you quit playing along.

Lastly, I don't want to make any assumptions but I saw your post stating you don't feel psychologically fit for a relationship. Unfortunate as it is for many, people who are stable, happy, healthy, at ease with themselves and so on tend to attract others like them. People who have been through a lot, battle mental health issues, have low self esteem etc likewise tend to attract damaged people. It has to do with familiarity, being able to relate to each other. Often subconsciously.

My platonic(?) friend keeps on saying i love you to me some of the time like for example, "i love you, you know so watch this video with me" or something like that.

I feel that we are a couple sometimes too when bonding together or arguing with each other but we just don't label it (afraid of commitments?).

To me, I really like her a lot and I believe she likes me as well though I don't know which kind of "like".

What does it all mean?

Thanks

>>18315320
Lots of interesting insights here. So what you're saying is that somehow these girls did not respect me at all until I decided to put my needs first, after which I became valuable. Weird shit. And I have the feeling it's not just the girl I talked the most about, but also my ex and others for the same reason.

Now you mention a happy middle. I've tried (possibly unsuccessfully) but it never works. And right now I'm in a position where any rejection or criticism will break me down. I can't afford to put myself out there for anybody.

>>18315357
Take her out on a date

Why do 30+ year old women and 14 year old girls like me so much more than women my own age?

>>18315335
Sorry I didn't see this post. You're right in that they toyed with me (one outright cheated within the first month of dating, she still wants contact and this happened like 6 years ago) and then felt like the rug was pulled. And my ex, totally, I'm familiar to her but I'm of course not taking her back in any way or form.

And the last paragraph is why I shouldn't be in a relationship despite me wanting it. It's unhealthy for everyone.

Thank you for your insights. I wish this didn't happen at all. Any suggestions you could give me to get to that healthy middle you talked about?

>>18315358
Yep. I get that it takes a bit to get used to, but if you think about it it's really not that weird. Firstly it's just lots more fun to date someone who values themselves. Would you want to date a woman who has a mental breakdown realizing you look at porn, who thinks you are trying to seduce every girl you talk to, who says stuff like "I can't believe you'd even like me" and wants to fuck with the lights off? Or would you rather want a woman to trust you, to be more laid back about "competition", to believe you when you tell her you want no one else, to light up when you compliment her and boldly show off her body to you as a fan? It is no fun to try to convince someone over and over that they are okay (and actually pretty amazing in your eyes). All the more because these are personal issues and typically if she doesn't have self-worth no amount of telling her anything will be convincing. Secondly, because insecurity is a negative hyperfocus on yourself that gets in the way of getting lost in the connection between the two of you, enjoying the moment, not being too self-conscious to enjoy life together, be silly, be flawed.

Secondly, a girl can't look into your head just as much as you can't read her mind. If she does not know you well, it's a lot to ask for her to realize that you are simply really taken with her and thus overeager - and no, you're not like this towards every woman you talk to, like a thirsty sleazeball. Or to realize that you are shutting down because you are shy - and not because you are bored by her, or pokerfaced and arrogant.
The best way to make that first impression is to act as much as you can like the person she sees you as (ideally). Which means: pleasant, attracted to her, but also someone who has enough self respect to stop being attracted to her if she acts weird/unattractive/mean. As someone who could have connections with a lot of people. As someone who takes himself seriously.

if you aren't ready, you're not ready.

What do you think if a guys hair smells like coconut?
I just use coconut oil to style it.

>>18315410
Enjoy dust sticking to your hair.

Woman: Do long distance relationships work? I've been dating a Canadian exchange student from my college for a few months and she goes back next month. She was a virgin too, so I guess her pair bonding has broken down entirely, does that mean much?

>>18315387
No problem at all. Yeah as I said in the other post, I think it's completely valid to realize you're not in the right place. Too few people dare to face that realization while it is better to take a breather than to roll into one bad relationship then another. The more shitty treatment you endure, the more difficult it becomes to have that intuition for when someone is treating you properly, you become used to varying forms of incompatibility/indifference/abuse etc.

It's a trial and error thing. The biggest issue is that men tend to give women they find attractive so much leeway because they are blinded by her physical loveliness or the possibility to have sex/a girlfriend. It can help to ask yourself (even in hindsight) whether you would have done a certain thing for, or accepted it from, a woman you were not attracted to at all, or a man. If the answer is no, you follow the thought pattern - why not? Is the reason you encounter a valid one or did you just abandon your judgment because she was hot?

Being respectful and kind is great. No woman who has a lot to offer in a relationship wants to be with a man who lacks those in his behavior towards her. Showing that you find her beautiful and like being around her, great. These are all your sincere feelings.
It stops being great when you forego your real feelings in order to please. Like laughing (a polite smile as acknowledgment is of course fine) at every other thing she says, or every attempted and unfunny joke. If she says stuff you disagree with but don't bring it up or pretend to agree, bad. If she asks you for a favor you would not consider reasonable from even a friend to ask for and yet you find yourself wanting to say yes - nope.

Hopefully this will help you: it is NOT a compliment to act like this towards a woman. If she is a good person, if she prides herself on that, it is actually insulting to lower the bar for her.

>>18315245
Please respond.

>>18315438
What you are implicitly saying is - it's okay, I don't expect you to be able to meet the standards I set for even my most casual friends. What you are also implicitly saying is - it's okay, I don't value myself enough to think that I deserve better. Or: I can't get any better anyway.

Both of these are severely unattractive. Women want to respect and love a man who invites them to respect and love him. With this behavior you are inviting women to take pity on you, or to use you. You are setting the precedent for a social dynamic you don't actually want - at all. So break the pattern. It will take time to recognize all the small cues. If you find yourself also being a doormat with family/friends, start there because it's essentially the same thing.

>>18315397
The first woman archetype you mentioned was my ex. Literally. She was everything in that list. It was hell in earth because when she backlashed I'd do anything to appease her. Which means she had full control over the relationship. If she cheated at some point... Color me ignorant.

I'm insecure and super self conscious of the shit I do. I've never had a safe relationship and it all boils down to my self esteem taking a blow while they decide whether I'm worth their time or not. Oh, I was also very permissive with my ex because I didn't want her to be angry.

In short, a doormat.

And I'm working on that, but I'm not ready to take any more blows. I'm worn out and very sensitive. So yes, acting out anything but what I feel is too big of a task for me now.

>>18315443
People make out in lots of different ways. Unless you get complaints, it feels physically awkward etc just keep doing what you're doing. There is no token technique to learn. If you want to be really sure to not do it "wrong" with a special girl, pay close attention and mimic her
own style as closely as possible.

>>18315465
Thanks friend

I mean they don't pull away, that's for sure. It feels more natural too when I just let instinct kick in and enjoy it

>>18315438
>>18315454
I've been a doormat to my family too, trying to avoid conflict because otherwise I would feel like shit. And that has triggered a very strong response as of late, because now I'm resenting my entire family for not acknowledging my emotions while I feel like shit the whole day and they try to appease me, and any potentially conflictive response from them is met with defensiveness from me.

I can't deal with having my emotions stomped over and over. I hate when girls do something to push me away or use me, it infuriates me on top of making me feel anxious with a huge weight in my chest when all I want is to be respected. I know I ask for too much but I really don't mean harm to anybody.

>>18315456
Oh god. Yes. That's a nightmare situation and the terrible thing is that she is trying to look for an external assurance that will NEVER work. Anyone can cheat ever. Anyone can fall for someone else at any moment. Hell, anyone can die at any given moment. There is one real source of security/trust and that's simply having faith that it won't happen, and that even if it will eventually (no matter how long it'll take) you'll be okay again. But she didn't have that, so she asks stuff of you to reassure herself. But after the initial reassurance there her insecurity flares up again, so she asks for more. This is textbook start for an abusive relationship (that could end with your partner tracking your every moment, isolating you as much as possible, and still accusing you of lusting over others) and honestly as bad as it no doubt was, you should thank your lucky stars that you got out and found the mental place to not give in to a reconnection. (Ever, please.)

Start with other people than women. Leave the most difficult for last. Learn to stand up for yourself in other situations. Learn to respect yourself through other means. People are hard-wired to love reaching goals, even if you have no time for a new hobby or whatever simple shit like setting tasks (cooking, cleaning, anything) and completing them will make it easier to respect your own person. Try to find ways to have positive social experiences, to heal until the idea of dating a girl is no longer exhausting or daunting but actually exciting.

I don't like the idea of giving a blow job. It just grosses me out so much I don't think I could ever do it. I wouldn't expect a guy to go down on me either but I'm fine with most other stuff just not doin it in the butt. im guessing this ruins my chances of keeping a relationship But I want to hear from guys if this is a big deal. Also anyone who has had sex- can you still orgasm without that I mean there's fingering and such so... Idk plz help

So I have a date in the next couple of days with a girl (20F). Found out she's also seeing another guy from one of her best friends.

Should I act like I know? I was just going to go into it, be myself, and see where things go. Is this still the correct approach?

Bf is looking up random girls from across the globe (Peru etc) who he has no common contacts etc with, on Facebook. He hasn't added them, liked their pics, or anything like that. What does it mean? Help me I'm retarded.

>>18315505
>no oral
>no anal
>probably boring vaginal
Why even bother? Just stay single and die alone.

>>18315522
Maybe they are his fetish?

>>18315497
>Try to find ways to have positive social experiences, to heal until the idea of dating a girl is no longer exhausting or daunting but actually exciting.
That's the best way I've seen it written, ever. You're right, that's why I'm trying to stand up by myself in other situations and seeing my own worth. And that's difficult. I require therapy and I'm looking for it. I will make sure to heal. Otherwise, the idea of dating is frightening. Hell, I've been living here for a year and I literally have no friends because I can't seem to connect with anybody. Having a girlfriend like this is nigh impossible.

>>18315505
Personally I wouldn't mind not having oral. It doesn't do a lot for me. And I would hate anal anyways. So yes, it is possible. Don't lose heart.

I'd orgasm from vaginal, grinding or a handjob.

>>18315518
Yeah unless you want to talk with her about it you don't have to acknowledge it. But realize the situation you are putting yourself in. If she chooses the other guy then that's gonna suck. If she tries to keep u both that's shitty and I doubt u want to be cheated on. Remember your worth. Maybe have a conversation about whether or not you guys want to keep the relationship open or if she is looking for commitment now or will be in the future.

>>18315522
Maybe he thinks they are attractive and he is interested in who they are. I would keep a watch for cheating but don't be crazy about it. I wouldn't ask him about it tho because then he will think you're being crazy or he will try to cover his tracks.

>>18315489
Tough love here but please take to heart what I said about inviting someone into a dynamic you aren't looking for. I am not saying this because it's your fault that other people treat you like shit. I'm saying it because obviously you realize it fucking sucks (of them), and that it won't help you to remain stuck on that thought. It sounds counter-intuitive but once you own up to your own role it becomes much more believable, also emotionally, that you can actively avoid that shit from happening again. Maybe not right now or tomorrow, but eventually you will.

FWIW as I said I have been in the same position. I was a complete doormat years ago and everyone (family, friends, crushes) took advantage of me. I was extremely hurt and bitter for some time but the above has really rung true for me. I don't worry about any guy treating me like shit because they only get the chance to do that once.

Either way I hope you find a way to figure this out for yourself, in your own pace. I understand that these things are often easier said than done but given the situation, both moving out and talking with a therapist (it's no magical cure, but an outside viewpoint can really help you to consistently not get stuck on negative thought patterns, to keep stuff fresh, it's really just support for introspection that points out your blind spots or patterns) would be really helpful I think.

>>18315544

He's cheated on his previous 2 gfs but they are people from across the world. I'm more confused where he found their names, etc. Like is it from a scantily clad instagram account or what.

>>18315505
>no oral, giving or receiving
>no anal
ill pass. if you picked one or the other, i may reconsider, but i dont think i could deal with being forbidden to go down on you. this is subjective though, i am confidant that there are plenty of dudes that dont want to eat pussy, get head, or fuck your ass. the no blowjobs would be a hard sell unless youre really good with your hands.
>can you still orgasm
most likely, but if another option were available that included oral and/or anal, i would go with that one

Sometimes I'm really boring to this girl when texting just to see if she still shows interest.
Am I shit testing her? I can't help it. ;_;
How do I get rid of this urge to test potential partners?

>>18315505

But giving oral is really fun. Do you ever watch porn? You should try that before writing it off. And no, not all porn is the same, you should try to find bj porn that is to your taste before making up your mind.

>>18315522
maybe thats what he faps to. maybe hes looking for a mail order wife. maybe hes looking to flee the country after a botched crime attempt.
more importantly, why are you snooping on his computer/phone/whatever?

>>18315505
Do you mean if you can still orgasm without cunnilingus? Yeah, sure, but it's an individual matter. Some women can exclusively climax from being eaten out. Others have (more or less frequently occurring) orgasms from penetration, and/or fingering. There are also women who get nothing out of being eaten out. There is no universal rule but it's just one of the sex acts with potential to bring you to orgasm.

I'm not trying to lecture you here because everyone has stuff that crosses a line for them and people who are grossed out by oral absolutely exist. (As do men who get little out of blowjobs.) But I just wanted to say, because it sounds like you never experienced it, that the mental image of the whole "there's a dick in my mouth and it's going to squirt a blob of semen into me" is more graphic and dramatic than the reality of it. I would not be too worried about just how much you will or won't hate it until being in the position. Sorry if I misunderstood and you actually have tried it.

>>18315545
About inviting someone into a dynamic I don't want, I'd have to be conscious about all the wrong things in the dynamic...

... Only to realize what about that is familiar and comfortable, and needs breaking because it's unhealthy. If I can do that I'll be able to be with someone like I want. Maybe something about a healthy relationship scares me!

Thank you so much for your empathy, it helps a lot. At least I do feel like you touched one or two strings here, which is great.

>>18315368
We are far from each other.

>>18315558
Haha yes, you are. You are baiting her and checking her response.

Don't sweat it too much, it is REALLY common among young people and comes from a place of insecurity everyone knows. It's great that you ask yourself this to begin with and want to stop. Try not to give into the urge though, because you will never be 100% secure and it's often like an itch in that once you scratch it, you need more to get the same effect.
You said you act more boring than otherwise. If you mean that you usually exaggerate how interesting/witty you are, I would try to start with a blank slate with the next girl and be more natural. Putting care into your texts but not to the extent where you fidge details or whatever. If you actually don't, then ask yourself - what would it matter whether she still likes me if I'm a boring person to talk to, when I'm not? And be happy that you can attract women who dare to set standards with your personal qualities.

>>18315580
This is really helpful thank you. You're right I haven't experienced it its just hard to wrap my head around. Maybe I can come to terms with it if it's what my sig other needs to get off.

>>18315581
Yes!! It is, it's what "worked" for you so far, it's your comfort zone, it's how you make yourself feel like you matter to people. Those are real benefits even if when it comes down to it, you don't want the package deal. It's scary and weird to suddenly take up more space, demand more of people, tell them no. It feels like faking or bluffing at first. But it's worth it because it will serve you in literally every single area in your life. It will allow you to look out for yourself and be your own keeper. It's the best thing in the world if you find someone who will do that for you, who will 100% have your best interests at heart. But you cannot expect to run into that person. Let alone expecting every person in your life to be somewhat like that. In doing this trade off ("I will take care of your needs then you do mine") you make yourself extremely dependent and vulnerable.

Best of luck, and you're very welcome, I hope it provides a first push. It's going to be a long process but it will do wonders for your peace of mind and quality of life.

>>18315610
Hey you're fine. As I said I don't really care about oral and dislike anal. Guys like us exist. Just make sure to communicate what you like and what you don't to your SO before sex.

Once I had a girl almost push a finger into my asshole without asking beforehand. I had to forcefully push her away. Wish I knew I had to tell her what I like from the very start.

>>18315619
>Wish I knew I had to tell her what I like from the very start.
She just sounds like an idiot. Springing sex acts on people mid coitus is a horrible idea.

>>18315615
>In doing this trade off ("I will take care of your needs then you do mine") you make yourself extremely dependent and vulnerable.
YES! Exactly how I feel in such occasions. And it obviously makes me anxious because there's a real danger out there: to have my emotions crushed from the inside. Which means I'll have to push what I want until the other person pushes in return. Because nobody will have my interests in their mind. People are super selfish and I can't survive by letting others take everything from me.

Yes what you said is a wonderful first push. Therapy will have to do the rest. Again thank you, you were great.

>>18315648
That too, and she was more experienced while she was my first.

>>18315610
No problem at all. Also try not to attach too much importance to messages like the guy saying sex will be boring with you just because certain things are out of the question. There is so much that matters for being good at sex and lots of it boils down to confidence (being happy to show your body or do more scary things like a serious strip tease or lap dance, going out of your comfort zone with role play, daring to let go and make natural noises and say what's actually on your mind instead of trying to be like a porn actress or how you feel normal people have sex or anything like that) and passion. If you are with a man who loves you, who is delighted by having you in his life, and when you get to bed you make sure he knows how much you enjoy being with him, how attracted you are to him, that's an amazing thing. If you really can't enjoy oral at all then sure, it will be a dealbreaker for some. But don't ever think that it's as easy as the more you are willing to do, the better you are as a lover. It's so much more than that and compatibility always gets the last say anyway. Not all men are into trying everything under the sun, either. Very few men are not into women who are enthusiastic and active in the bedroom in general, though.
There's also a lot more than you get to see in porn or popular culture. For example, mutual masturbation (or even just you finishing yourself while he touches and encourages you to go wild - crazy hot) can be extremely intimate and fulfilling.

At the end of the day you are learning to please each other and figure out what works for you. What the rest of the world would think of that is not relevant any more than what they'd think of your cutesy little couple rituals. It's thankfully private.

No problem at all!

This goes to both genders really.

Would you raise someone else's kid? I met a girl and we're both into each other, but the problem for me is that she has a kid. It's a problem, but at the same time watching her with the kid was one of the things that made her seem so cute to me.

>>18313464
Consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

>>18315680
Cuck

>>18315680
I am a girl.

Maybe, if he was legitimately a great father and the love of my life.

File: griffith.jpg (45KB, 800x449px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 800x449px

Why do men (people) refuse to admit when they're wrong?

>>18315650
You're welcome, great to hear that it sounds like some stuff is set in motion. Thinking about doing things differently is the very first step to doing them differently, and doing things differently is the first step to getting different results.
Best of luck. Make sure to invest in finding a therapist you feel on the same wavelength with, and both understood and challenged by. Because it's just an interpersonal connection this individual match is a huge factor, not just the reputation of the therapist!

>>18315690
See this is why I'm really conflicted. The girl is cute, funny, smart. I see us fitting together real well. But unless the father gets completely cut out of her and the child's life I don't think I could do it

>>18313514
Fuckboy: boy who uses the same lines with all the girls he can just to get in her pants. Boy who is only interested in sex and using women for sex. Boy who won't stick around and invest in the women. Boy who lies to get into woman's pants. Fb can refer to all of these sceneries

>>18315699
Thank you! Due to financial reasons I'll go to a university to get therapy, but I hope I get one I can connect with ease. Like I could connect with you. Trust me, you dug stuff up with more ease than my previous therapists. Thank you so much!

>>18315680
Yes. Not going to lie, in my mid twenties I would need to like a man a WHOLE fucking lot to do this... but it would be very different if I am already ready to settle down and devote myself to parenting myself.

The reason to be wary is that being step-parent is an incredibly ungrateful role. Assuming the kid is young, you will have all the work, all the chaos, all the responsibility that comes with being a parent, yet not the same acknowledgment. It is very common for kids to have phases where they rebel against the step-parent ("you're not my mom/dad!!"), even if their biological parent is a nightmare you will have to gracefully deal with being a second priority to them anyway.

Why I would want to do it... for one thing I love kids. And a man who is a great father... it does not get more attractive than that, really. But most importantly, I think it is important for growing kids to get guidance and support from adults, and in general but especially in case of broken families also from adults not related to them. Yeah maybe I would never be the mother but I would be proud to help raise them into happy and pleasant adults. Nothing that's below my dignity there. It would show me another perspective, a new dynamic you can have with someone. Another way to make a difference in someone's life. It's not all bad. But there's a lot of bad stuff.

>>18315710
Hmm... I am not a fuckboy at all, just not interested.
Why are some people attracted to this behaviour? Men as well as women.
I think it is stupid, sex acquired through brute force is meaningless.

Genuine question here guys, even though it sounds like a joke.

How would you react to a birthday lap dance? I'm talking fully kitted out stockings and suspenders, all done to some classy music.

I had this idea but now I feel like a bit of an idiot. Please keep in mind I can't dance for shit and I'm normally dead shy.

Do you guys keep in contact with people you rejected/rejected by?

>>18315723
Of course they're going to say do it because they don't know if you'll look corny or not. At least practice if you're going to go through with it.

>>18315723
I would feel embarrassed inside but would definitely appreciate the gesture. But I'm a special snowflake, the other 95% of males would be happy as fuck really.

>>18315728

It'll look corny as shit regardless or whether I do it on the night or trained my entire life for the event. I am a sperglord.

I figured it it goes bad, I can pretend it was all a joke and we can just laugh forever about it. I just didn't want his penis to shrivel up and go inside him out of sheer embarrassment.

>>18315723
Assuming we're alone I'd take it. Happily.

>>18315724
I'd rather be dead first.

>>18315724
I'm friends with a guy who rejected me. But we were already friends somewhat before I confessed feelings, if that matters.

>>18315723
I assume it's for your SO so at worst he'll appreciate the effort.

>>18315771
Girl?
Is it awkward until now?

Making my own video dating vlog what would be something I should ask basic me just asking questions.

Hope this allowed

Where's a good place to buy an engagement ring?

>>18315776
Yeah. Definitely not anymore, it was years ago. Though I have to admit that once in a blue moon I'll still be a bit more cautious (like with making a sexual joke) out of fear that he reads more into it, although there is really no reason to believe that he would think that.

It was awkward at first but we were friends who usually hung out in a group, we just did not see each other one on one for some time. By the time we really started hanging out with just the two of us again it was already almost three years since he shot me down.

>>18315784
Also just wanted to add, the reason that it took three years was absolutely not that it was still an issue for such a stretch of time. It was just a combination of factors, we were teenagers, it wasn't sure right away whether our specific friendship would really go anywhere. Chance played a big role as well, neither of us were dead set on keeping each other in our life but it naturally worked out and we do still quite enjoy one another's company.

>>18315784
Man, that seems really nice.

Really rational decision from both of you, I guess.

I can't stand to be in the same room with people I rejected and who rejected me. Guilt perhaps?

>>18315795
It is actually. He was my first real crush and in hindsight we are not compatible at all to be in a relationship, but as friends we have this really mellow and natural chemistry.

He was also incredibly sweet about turning me down, I actually confessed already being almost sure that he liked someone else (obvious that they were moving towards becoming a couple), because I'd heard from rumors that he was already wondering if I was into him and I couldn't stand the idea that he was analyzing me for the answer. He felt so bad about having to turn me down that HE actually teared up. Awkwardness of being rejected or not, that made a big impression on me.

Perhaps guilt, perhaps awkwardness.... are you fixated on the idea that if someone rejects you romantically or sexually, they must not think highly of you in general? If that's the case you might (consciously or not) assume that others hold the same view and that would also explain why you don't want to be around people you rejected yourself.

>>18315505
You will do alright femanon. With a bit of luck, you will find some hot bf who will slowly corrupt you and few years later you will find yourself doing all weird stuff with him without even thinking about how naughty you have become.

Just dont be afraid and get a bf first :-)

>>18315522
Try ask him and if you mind, make up some compromise.

>>18315558
Text less and date more. Easy?

>>18315680
I am not THAT desperate yet. Maybe after i will become single dad or when every girl even super fat ones reject me.

>>18315698
Not just men. Women do this too. It takes a great character to admit you have been wrong. Even i (powerful /adv/isor) have great troubles to admit it.

It makes you go down in society and nobody wants to lose his social status.

>>18315723
I would be pleased if you are somebody who i can socially and legally fuck after. If you arent his gf or sonething like that, dont. Cock tease and blue balls arent funny you know.

>>18315783
Google. And remember she wont be able to tell difference between fake diamon and gold to real one.

Wish stuff like that happens to me as well.

Mostly guilt. There was this one girl back then she said no. Then I heard from someone who wants us to get together that her grandparents do not approve of her being in a relationship. Her grandparents are really traditional Chinese type of grandparents.
It was 3 years ago and we met each other at the theatres and I couldn't look her in the eye at all. She doesn't seem to be bothered by it though.

Same thing happens to girls I have rejected.

Am I a bad person for being like this?
Is this a form of insecurity?
I can't really tell if it's "must not think highly of you" or something else.

>>18315810
>>18315830
Forgot to quote. Sorry.

>>18315830
Are you used to dating in general, have you been in a relationship? Maybe it's just a matter of it being really out of your element/comfort zone to interact with someone you had explicitly romantically charged interaction with.

Guilt makes sense for not wanting to see someone you rejected, but how does that work the other way around...? Do you feel guilty for expressing interest to begin with?

It does sound like a form of insecurity or at least discomfort, but it's not the most easy or comfortable interaction to begin with. I see absolutely no reason to conclude you're a bad person from this. It's not a matter of conscious choices and the very fact that you worry about whether not looking people you had this situation with in the eye makes you a bad person shows that you are conscientious.
It's hard for me to define it as well if you can't really make it concrete yourself, but it doesn't sound alarming to me in any way either. It beats being passive aggressive to people who dare to not want to date you any day of the week... and that's common enough, believe me!

>>18315724
It's hit or miss. I still talk to a girl that would suggest dating then pull back if I ever went for it. Ironically she tries to talk to me more now that its on neither of our plates anymore. It's weird and I don't really get it.

>>18315723
Depends on if you're actually dating this guy. If yes, go for it. I think it's a bad idea otherwise.

>>18315720
>Why are some people attracted to this behaviour?
Because women are, so men are forced to adapt to it.

>>18315850
Not at all. I'm very asocial and would prefer to do most stuff alone hence I keep rejecting people. But there are times where I'm captivated by someone but I don't do anything at all because the fear of rejection. On this one girl that rejected me, we were really close (I guess it was platonic to her.) Then I just disappeared without saying anything after that day.

Hope this isn't a sign of passive aggressiveness.

On the other hand, I currently like someone now but this one is LDR. A plane away. We are very close and we talk all the time, except for this week because of her final exams. I'm afraid that it might end up the same way as before. She told me that she rejected someone she dislikes and the reason she used was 'parents don't want her to have a boyfriend just yet.' I'm not sure if she only used that as an excuse for that one guy or would it be valid for me as well though this would be an LDR so I don't really know. Not saying that LDRs are not as legitimate as non LDRs though.

>>18315853
That's very weird indeed.
Maybe she just wants attention.

I'm almost 30 and I might start dating now. Why do I have such a huge fear of what my family will think?
>anon is DATING?
>he will be such a boring bf
>I wonder if his gf is as ugly as him

>>18315821
But friendo, google has no store where they sell rings! She also doesn't have expensive tastes, prefers silver over gold and such.

>>18313268
Guys:
I went to a concert with some close friends, including a guy I'm interested in.
During the concert someone bumped into me, pushing me against the qt who proceeded to put his arm around my shoulder and leave it there for some time.
I didn't do anything because I didn't know if he was trying to make a move
What do I do?

>>18315892
You got raped. I'm very sorry.

>>18315877
Nah, that's not what I meant with passive aggressiveness. Just not knowing how to deal with the situation in this case.

Well... she won't use the same excuse, that's for sure. LDRs can work out for some but many people are wary of them. If she tells you that's a dealbreaker there is no real way of ever knowing whether it was the distance or you/a combination. Not really a satisfying answer, I know.

Hey, i heard that when males are between 13 to 21 years old, thanks to the hight levels of testosterone, they can't help but think about sex and what sexually attracts them, how far does it go? is it really that dramatic or nah?

File: doggo.png (795KB, 1121x605px) Image search: [Google]

795KB, 1121x605px

How do you know if you're good in bed or not as a guy? and how can you get better?

I dont feel like im doing anything special in bed, but all the girls i've been with have been fairly loud with their moans and said stuff like "fuck yes" under their breath while nibbling at my neck and scratching my back during completely vanilla missionary sex.

Thing is i was a KV until like 8 months ago so im still just going off instinct and i have basicly no idea what im doing other than the good old ground and pound

>pic kind of related

>>18315934
Did you have sex more then once with any of them?

>>18315912
Thanks for answering all of my questions. I guess I'll take this slow, we've only known each other this way for about 1.5 months or so.

Do girls hate it if you try to parent them
? 'have you eaten yet? I know you are very busy but please don't forget about it'

She does the same and I don't mind at all and appreciate the concern. I'm just afraid that I may come off as annoying.

>>18315919
At that age, I fapped in the bathroom for 2 hours straight almost everyday. I fantasized about any pretty girl from school. If I had a gf at the time, I would bang her for 2 hours and leave her exhausted.

>>18315936
Not yet. one was a drunk fling that i dont want anything to do with and the other was very recent, as in like, yesterday.

>>18315934
My ex was so amazing that despite being over him otherwise, I still masturbate to the memories of him being with me all the time.
He didn't do everything perfectly, he was pretty bad at oral at the start etc, but there was several reasons why sex with him was crazy good.

>obvious starter: we had feelings for each other and I was incredibly attracted to him
>compatibility: we both had the same preferences for sex - not just in terms of sex acts but also the vibe we were going for
>acceptance: I never felt like he was judging me, he had preferences regarding bodyhair but if they weren't met he still thought I was the shit, he was not awkward at all about queefs or the possibility of a fart slipping out, or my natural orgasm faces and noises, he truly made me feel like he wanted me to be myself and enjoy myself
>he had this really nice, grabby, confident touch with no digging/nails, just firm and eager/lustful
>smelled great, everywhere
>dared to make noise sometimes and overall show his enjoyment, there is no comparison to going down on a man and looking up for eye contact only to see him knocked out in bliss
>wasn't hung up on stereotypes (like needing to be the macho man all the time), didn't judge my kinks or turn ons even if he did not care for them
>treated me like both a person he knew, liked and loved, respected, and was not afraid to admire and touch my body like I was a piece of meat
>dirty talk all the time, freestyle, raunchy shit
>not narrowly focussed on penetration, we would also just fool around for hours with oral, masturbating together or for each other, grinding, kissing, ass stuff, you name it

Different strokes for different people in part, though. A huge part of being a good lover is knowing how to adjust to individuals. And showing enthusiasm and enjoyment... that's about all that's really universal. Talking about what you like and want to try is the first step to creating the perfect personalized sex life between the two of you.

>>18315938
No problem! Fussing a bit over someone being warm, fed etc is completely normal behavior if you are attracted to them. (And quite common.) However, I would not say the whole "please don't forget about me" in a serious manner (as opposed to a more joking/cutesy remark). Some people wouldn't give it a second thought, but others would feel stifled or pressured. You know, the whole train of thought where something can't be fun anymore if you HAVE to do it.

>>18315955
Noted.
I guess that's all for me now. I really wish I can think of more questions and that you have the time to answer them but I'm really dried up of ideas and/or questions now. I really appreciate all of these. Thanks a lot.

>>18315965
No problem, just try again next thread if you do remember them later (as one typically does, just when it isn't useful anymore), there's usually one on depending on the time they can be fairly active. Good luck deciding whether, when and how to approach her about this!

>>18315934
girls tell each other all this kind of shit. so you just need to be good friends with another girl that your gf is good friends with, and then ask them under duress

>>18315952
(not the one you replied to)
you seem to be an intelligent and experienced person, so..
any tips on talking with your partner about your sexual desires? especially the not very legal ones.

>>18315919
no, that's bullshit.
I'm 24, started masturbating at 13 and never even slowed down. Nowadays I do it three to five times per day. Yet still, I never thought too much about sex (I mean, I can't remember more than a few times, when I was too turned on to think about anything else than sex). If I get a hard on, I proceed to relieve myself. If the situation doesn't allow it, I simply forget about it.

Nothing changes at times I have a gf

>>18315724
depends on the case. I'm really good friends with one ex gf. And I have never heard from the other two

>>18316046
Never forget that this has turned you on for a long time (probably) and you are familiar with what it does for you physically and psychologically. For people who never considered that a certain thing could be sexy (or even sexual to begin with), that's not going to be obvious. Spend some time thinking about the universal (or at least more common) themes that make your fantasy hot to you - like
power dynamics, taboo factor, vulnerability.

Set the time and place for the conversation. Pillow talk about fantasies is amazing, but if it's real controversial I would keep it for a completely non-sexual situation, preferably the right level of tipsy.

If it's quite out there, like bestiality or something, I would first go for the whole "what don't you understand at all" or "what would you never want to do no matter what", laugh a bit at people who want to be eaten alive and pray he or she doesn't mention your preference.

After that hurdle is taken (doesn't have to be all in one conversation), start with the more relatable stuff. This lowers the chance that they will in general experience you as a sexual deviant for also liking things that they are not personally into. Also the more you mention the more casual it appears, you have more room to hide how serious you are about stuff - if they find your turn on revolting, you'd ideally not want them to know that you don't just like porn of it but that it's right there on your bucket list. I would strongly recommend mixing all levels of "severity" - so talking from fleeting nice things you could never masturbate to by itself (like loving a woman's heels tapping, or the sound of a belt unbuckling) to stuff you daydream about sometimes that's not possible at all, to things you like in porn but feel no strong incentive to try, to actual fetishes or things you have tried/want to try. So it forms a landscape of preferences and turn ons and not a label where you are reduced to one sexual thing.

>>18315919
I think it might be true for me t bh. I'm 19 and I get horny/think about sex almost nonstop. When I've had girlfriends it was the same, so it can't be because I'm single. Maybe I'm just a sex addict.

>>18316070
Is it literally non stop tho? I mean I think the light be the same for women desu. I know there first time I meet a guy I'm already assessing if he would be a good fit in a relationship. Even if I'm just waking past a stranger my age at the store. Always my first thought. But I'm curious if guys are always thinking bout about sex and getting a girl why don't they make a move more often.

>>18316052
>3-5 times per day
>at 24

You're an outlier bud. Maybe if your day was nothing but dead time... Do you have a job?

>>18316067
Then you break down the things you are worried about.

For a concrete example, I like feederism. It's not an all consuming fetish but I can (and happily do, all the time) masturbate to vids that most people would find pretty damn gross (think: fat man stuffing himself with lots of fast food, burping, bulging stomach and so on). Now there will be very few men who will be excited to associate me with that shit. Hell, it took me years to accept it myself. So I will absolutely never start like that.
At first I just mention that I don't have a real preference between slender or chubby men, that I like both in different ways. Virtually no one could have an issue with that. Then after they already know that I will stress that I LOVE hedonism and pampering stuff. Like trying how often I can make a guy climax in a row with all my might, or the other way around, mixing sex and drugs, different sensual pleasures. Cool, cool.
Then at a later point I might say, I really like that nurturing/pampering stuff. Like washing or shaving a man, and cooking for him and shit, just taking care of his physical needs. No one could really be alarmed by that. THEN I say, flustered etc that I know it's weird but I actually like a bit of overeating/food babies. Cue surprise. Why? Well because it shows he went overboard, it's decadent, I like the idea of piling different kinds of satisfaction on each other, and you know how I like chubby men as well? If he's slim but very full I can play with his stomach like I otherwise can't.
That's fairly reasonable. Now if he goes "uh okay, whatever works for you" I'll never go beyond that. If he is amused, potentially yes.

Although I have never yet told anyone about the more extreme things I can get off to - also because I fear no one would believe I would never want that shit in real life. And I have the luxury of not needing this kink incorporated at all.
But the main point stands. Unravel the psychological fabric of your turn on. Bit by bit.

>>18316078
>Is it literally non stop tho
Maybe not literally nonstop, but it definitely crosses my mind multiple times throughout the day, every single day.
>If guys are always thinking bout sex and getting a girl why don't they make a move more often
I can't speak for every guy, but for me personally it's because I'm a massive pussy when it comes to asking women out.

>>18316084
Shit, here I was thinking I was done in just two posts but I forgot an important element. This whole thing is obviously only for kinks/fetishes you do not absolutely NEED in your sex life. If you have a rare kink that you can't go without, find a sex positive dating community where you can freely mention this condition. Otherwise it's a bit unfair to let people grow attached to you while you know it might be all over as soon as you've had a certain talk.

And another thing worth mentioning is that there's websites (like upgradeyourmojo if I remember it correctly) where you can separately tick boxes for stuff you'd like to try (with categories like definitely, maybe, if my partner wanted it, probably not, never etc) and it only shows the things you have in common. Having said that I had a look once and it still showed the more well known stuff, big focus on BDSM play. But that's not the only one that exists!

>>18316080
I'm still a student. And yes, I have too much time lately and I'm not proud of that. But even during the times I had a lot to do, I never came below two per day.
On the other hand, each year I travel for a month and in that time I only masturbate once there's too much sperm in my testicles and it gets painful

>>18316093
Wait, it's painful to not masturbate for extended periods of time?

>>18315934
you will feel you have entered that groove/zone. like when you play a sport correctly. after many times practicing, the next practice or game you play you feel more in-tune with your moves and whatnot.

one definite way to know you did good was she comments on it afterwards. but it's also how she says what she says. girls tend to "act" in order for you to view them a certain way.

i wouldn't go so far as to straight up ask them. maybe go into it slightly like asking what they are into, or what positions they like the most. but also with this depends on the shape/size of the phallic object. obviously the most pleasurable position to masturbate is with legs spread and on their back. minimal physical output while receiving a lot of stimulation. so for a lot of women their favorite position is like missionary. but again this depends on the partner and the dick.

another example is my dick curves down slightly. so off the bat my favorite position is doggy because i know it is more pleasurable, on average, for me to penetrate from behind, than it is missionary.

>>18316156
not him but yes

if a guy doesn't "release" and he's surrounded by stimulus, he'll get pain in the testicles.

hopefully jesus blesses him with a wet dream as innocent release from this suffering, but otherwise the only option is to take matters into his own hands and do the deed to himself.

>>18316089
Worst case senerio the girl isn't interested and insults your ego with some nasty comments in which case she never deserved you anyway so she's easy to get over. Take a chance and ask whoever you're interested in out. Just don't rush it or u might scare her off but show interest so she's not totally blindsided. I realize u didn't ask for my advice but just puttin it out there since you assisted me

>>18316091
>>18316084
One last thing, I probably should've said I never told anyone about the -most- extreme. I have absolutely told partners that I got off on porn related to this, and that I would get turned on by much more extreme than anything I'd ever want in real life. The lover I mentioned in the earlier post I went into more detail with but I never showed him, because I was afraid the gritty reality of it would be too much for him.

Having said that I 100% recommend trying for it anyway. Even just having a lover gently and affectionately tease you with a kink that you have sometimes felt like an utter freak for is really incredibly intimate and soothing. It is very special to share with someone even if you cannot share the sexual reality of it.

Anyway, lots of text, hope you got something out of it to have optimal sex talks in the future :)

>>18316091
You know, it's people like you who turn this board into a place worth visiting.

Thank you for the input, Some of those ideas are really novel to me and seem worthwhile.

Do you maybe have any tips regarding asking your partner about their turn ons? When? How to phrease it? etc.

>>18316159
I appreciate your eloquence.

>>18316156
yeah, that's right. But it takes like two weeks of not fapping or so. The testicles never stop producing new sperm. After all the sperm dies quickly and you always have to be prepared, as you never know when your lucky day will come.

worried I might be scaring the girl im seeing away.

tl;dr had some bad things happen last night and wanted to talk to her. she was concerned and called so we talked briefly. she didn't have much to say but assured me that shes there for me whenever.

not the first time we've had a talk like this, she went through a seriously rough few weeks during finals with life throwing curveballs at her from all directions and she called me herself a few nights to talk and to vent so its clear we both care about each other.

she just seemed a bit quiet and uninterested last night, but still said she was here. Shes on a trip right now and I apologized to her for bringing the mood down and stuff like that, didn't want her to be worried/wanted her to enjoy her last day on vacation, etc.,

might be overthinking it but I just don't want her to think im some needy dependent sappy mess, I just needed someone to talk to.

>>18316170
Other somewhat unrelated question. You like s girl for personality and looks but she isn't easy to get in bed what are the chances of u investing in her over easy sex

>>18316170
once i went from 5-10 times a day fapping to stopping cold turkey. the prostate pains were unreal at first, just randomly and fucking searing intense pain. and i had a wet dream about 2-3 weeks in, the volume of semen was so intense it got through my underpants and shorts and sheets and got on my mattress.

the body will learn to produce less eventually, but at first it's fucking crazy. if the body expects 7 faps a day and get zero, the cum builds up pretty quickly and painfully.

>>18316169
yup, it's what jesus wants from us.

>>18316160
not him, but note that it's not necesserily optimal to try your luck with every potential partner. Better (longer, deeper, etc.) relationships are build on trust and are preceeded by trying hard to get your partner. so trying your luck with every person around will picture you as easy and untrustworthy, scaring away the better partners

>>18315919
it booms especially around those ages. they are biologically ready to reproduce as well as basically ready to conquer.

>they can't help but think about sex and what sexually attracts them
this is true for the most part and i could generalize and agree. however pretty much everyone thinks about sex on a regular basis. and also things that are directly linked back to sex, not just sex itself. is there a difference? when a girl gets up in the morning and pretties herself up, maybe she isn't thinking about sex, but it all relays back to sex. when someone sees a hot person in public and checks them out, they may or may not be thinking about sex itself, but still they are scanning and comprehending things that are completely sex-related, which goes back to sex. when someone goes and orders a coffee and the cashier is a hot person, their interaction, or at least their feelings in that interaction, would be different than if that cashier didn't look sexually appealing. also trust levels and how we categorize and generalize characters are/can be heavily dependent on how sexually appealing one looks. when we put on clothes and generate a "look" we aren't necessarily always doing so to show off to the opposite gender. there is also an acceptance level of sorts within the same-gender. and also how we simply want people as a whole to view our image. what i mean is you don't have to go out in booty shorts, a tight shirt, and thigh high socks, you are still thinking about sex if you wear baggy clothes with no makeup done.

sexual intercourse and reproduction is in our dna. it's only natural to think about sex throughout everyday. gus are more known for it for one, we do think about sex more often, and two, we are more open and bold about it. we are more known for being the predators of our species, and can come off as ruthless or a dick when cat calling. and yes, women do cat call and are just as bad in their own way, just not as dangerous.

>>18316173
Hey so I'm kinda like that girl only when I'm talking with one of my girl friends. For me the topic wasn't the problem it was the persons way of talking about it. She would ask for advice then proceed to shoot down all my suggestions because she had really figured it all out herself but wanted attention. Her attitude was self absorbed the only times she asked about me were when she wanted to talk more about herself ex. Asking abot my weekend when she wanted to talk about hers. Maybe the reason she's not into it is because of the way you're talking with her. Are you keeping her involved and having a discussion with her or are you using her as a wall. Or maybe she's just not interested in you anymore and doesn't know how to say it.

>>18316164
Aw thanks man, I'm happy to help, that's what it's for. Besides it's not like I can hand out this kind of advice in real life.

Start by generally being vocal. Match the level of your partner. If they are obviously self-conscious of making noise or talking dirty during sex, don't push it on them. Instead, after sex while you are basking in the afterglow tell them stuff you loved about them and the experience. Preferably in a playful way, just the cutesy stuff of people crazy about each other. See how they respond, whether they just kind of bashfully accept the compliments or eagerly respond in kind. If they already make noise and do generic dirty talk during sex, be more "real" about it. I mean not the "harder" or "you're so tight" but more narrating the experience. Like "god when you put your hand there I want you inside of me/I want to be inside of you already". Or "it makes me feel so sexy when you [do this very specific thing you just did]".
Not everyone is into this and if they aren't that doesn't have to be because they dislike discussing sex. Some people are easily distracted, for example. But it's a very safe way to test the waters because it's instantly clear whether your partner reciprocates or not, and you launch it during the heat of the moment when they are most aroused and receptive/loosened.

Either way, you set the precedent either during sex or by discussing the actual sex you have. Some people are really uncomfortable talking about sex, which asks for a different approach (like the comparison websites, discreet and non-verbal), but ideally I would approach it as just another way to have fun together. Which it is! It's not just a way to get to know each other better and play into each other's turn ons better, it's also just really arousing to be so explicit about what sex is like for you mentally. What you think about to get off when you are not pleasing anyone but yourself.

>>18316174
chances are extremly high on the condition I can see her interest in me. But the highest chances are I'll try to go for both of them.

>>18316173
>she talks with you cause you are a masculine figure in her life she can find security in
>she can be open about problems and said-weaknesses because she knows she will get over these things eventually.
>it is that masculine energy that she craves, to understand how she feels about things.
>it's only common to talk about problems with others, as those problems relate back to ourselves. we are essentially obsessed with talking about ourselves.
>talking about people is the most common topic. almost unoriginal thinking in a way. yet individual variables and the fact that no two things are alike, make us want to hypeup our own problems. you are your favorite person.
unless there is a lot of flirting going on on her part, i wouldn't view her as a potential date. if anything develops over time between the two of you, i wouldn't doubt she would do that with the next guy over. this is considered normal... so my question is, do you find women like this worthy of dating or not?

>>18316195
[just saw that I forgot to add that with the dirty talk, it's easy to do one or two more lines and stop that strategy if there's no reciprocation, minimal damage done]

So, if it's normal to discuss actual sex things, there's no discomfort, bring it up (preferably during a relaxed and already flirty moment, like when you are out for drinks and already know/feel that you're going to have sex afterwards) in the most open ended way, asking if they have fantasies.
Try not to be too anxious about it, to show them that to you it's cheeky and a turn on if they are a bit embarrassed by it. You are not doing anything weird by expressing interest in what your own sexual partner finds hot. That doesn't mean it's weird if they wish to keep it private, but the two aren't mutually exclusive. The more fumbly you act, the more they will get a weird feeling if they already did not like the question. So try to focus on that you are just showing interest in their sexual being - which they already know you have! - in the least intimidating way.

You can help them along by volunteering that it's just fun to talk about, they don't have to tell you that fantasies don't have to line up with real life desires because they don't always align perfectly for you either. If it's a bit awkward scale it back to "do you have anything you'd like to try with me" aka bringing it back to your concrete sex life and inviting them to only say what they actually would like to share.
Otherwise, all is fair and have fun!

File: images (2).jpg (20KB, 394x373px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 394x373px

General question that I can't be bothered starting a new thread for:

I've just starting 'seeing' a dear friend and we've run into a.. Logistical issue.
He's exceptionally large, I'm exceptionally small. So far it's been okay because I've been really into it, but after ~5 times over two days I'm beat the fuck up. It's basically swollen shut.

I'm guessing I'll get used to it eventually, but does anybody have suggestions for helping with the pain/bruising after the fact?

>The first time we slept together I was baked and it was great, but I don't want to have to smoke up every time we bang.

New thread is up.

>>18315830
>Am I a bad person for being like this?
no. sounds like you are going with the flow more than anything. you are essentially respecting her family's culture and whatnot. obviously it doesn't matter what age you are, there will be very different political and cultural disagreements between people. it doesn't mean that the elderly person is any more right than you are. but you are not right for them.

>Is this a form of insecurity?
depends on how you manage this in your head. it's like insecurity is a spectrum, not a left/right thing. also remember that a lot of girls aren't go-getters like men are.

File: 0A49A06B-97BD-4842-93C8-C457EC9DF1CD-3671-000002B48EB2FA2B.png (1MB, 1223x880px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1223x880px

>GF keeps hinting that my dick is small by "reassuring" me that it's "huge"
I'm just a centimeter below average. I don't like being lied to. I'd rather her just not mention size at all. Wat do?

>>18315783
chain stores can be more reliable than pawn shops.
>>18315821
too generalized. you could say find anything on google.
also i disagree with you ont the identifying jewelry thing. depending on the craft of the item the average woman (let alone person) probably wouldn't be able to tell the difference between fake and real ones. example a diamond stud. but with rings or more intricate crafts, it is easier to tell the difference. but what should be expected here is being able to tell the difference between qualities.

>>18316209
Thanks again.
I really hate dirty talking, but it should not be too much of a problem anyway.

Anyway, could you tell me, what's your age? I'm really curious what does it take to speak with your level of proficiency

>>18315724
not at all. feel no need because i valued them a certain way to begin with.

>>18315723
if the girl has a raw sex appeal where she knows she's sexy but doesn't have try so hard as to express herself, that's sexy. like the difference between a 32 year old chick and a 21 year old chick. the 32 year old is probably gonna come off as more of a turn on.

also depends on what she is wearing. that outfit wouldn't be my preference, but i'd have to see what it looks like, and what the chick looks like wearing it. also the music isn't as big of a factor with that. it's a freakin lap dance. it's not like you are blasting political rap and we are about to engage in dinner and conversation about liberation and the election.

basically not every person can pull off the same things. know what you are doing and own it. if you for example are co workers with a guy and you two have that "slight charge" and you feel the need to rub up on him and flirt, then go for it.

>>18316177
Really? Granted, going cold turkey on fapping feels like shit regardless of gender, but it sounds like guys have it a lot worse.

>>18315723
only if we hadn't had sex yet. Otherwise it's obsolete and I'd prefer a blowjob

>>18315698
stubbornness. and being proud of how you think you come off instead of how you really come off. i think men are more notorious for being stubborn because of testosterone and the need to present things objectively, rather than dance around things and share gathered information. maybe they want a more definite conclusion to things.

it is a weakness when someone is wrong and can't admit it to themselves. a lot of people become indoctrinated with this kind of system of thinking on their own, because it represents self-power and ability to be in control.

i know just as many females as i do males who will not admit they are wrong. and yes, admit, not just tell, because they have cornered themselves and are trying to hide from the truth. and this can be about something specific, or just the way they talk. example if you say a dish is clean but i'm holding it and it's clearly dirty, you are wrong. my perspectiv and experience shows me the dish is clearly dirty. but a different example would be telling that sort of thing to begin with. speaking in that manner.

>>18316248
it's not that bad. the guy speaks about an extreme case. It goes back to normal quickly. And having to fap once per a week or two really isn't so horrible

>>18315680
if i were dating a girl who was my SO i would help take care of her kid. sort of like how i'd help cook or do dishes after we have meals. she would essentially be a best friend.

but if it were some girl who is just a date, no. that's no different than taking care of her elderly grandmother. it's not my business, even if she tries to draw me into it. that's her reality and that's private. she is still more of a stranger than a best friend. so yes and no i guess.

>>18315558
talk with other girls or find another activity that is just as mentally stimulating and engaging. you are essentially in a prone position staring at a small screen you control with your thumbs. maybe transition this over to videogames and the social aspects of that. or maybe watch a video or read up on something.

>>18316228
You're welcome! Eh, dirty talk isn't a necessary step, it's just a rather low key option to try. If you don't like dirty talk I would not go for it if you can avoid it, or before you know it you are doing it forever.

Sure, I just turned twenty four. I am not sure whether you mean my English speaking skills (in that case I have technically been in contact with it for sixteen years, only had serious education entering middle and high school, and for real fluency and ease with phrasing years of speaking and lurking natural spoken English online) or the sexual insight. If the latter, I am actually not that experienced relatively speaking, I've only had two partners (and one promising thing that didn't quite get there) because I am quite picky and also used to be very emotionally guarded when I was younger. (Which is also part of the reason, being physically starved really made me think and
read lots about this.) The other reason I know this stuff is a combination of psychological interest (which is a big one for me, I write fiction so I am continuously trying to enrich my understanding of how people interact with one another and why) and I really, really love sexuality. The single most important key to doing anything well, including sex, is attention.

>>18316262
I don't know, maybe I just have a high sex drive or something. I give up fapping every year for Lent, so every Friday I go from cranking one out 3-5 times a day to just sitting around getting increasingly frustrated.

Though it feels amazing when you've gone a few days without, like if you're on vacation or something, and then you finally get the chance to do it.

>>18315522
i assume you live in america or a first world country that is diverse already. it's not like he can't find those girls in your country. however there is that fantasy aspect of it all. 1. he doesn't know them and isn't gonna meet them. and 2. they are about something entirely different, in terms of culture and upbringing.

i know this chick who was single and dating a couple guys here and there. she wanted to go to machupichu, obviously for the culture and tourist aspects of it, but also to basically hook up with those kinds of guys. it's not like she can't find those ethnicity-type of guys here in america. but there is that sense of new-ness and adventure.

so getting back to your bf, it's kind of like porn. a lot of people watch porn. and a lot of people get off to it, only after searching for the right video or image. what i mean is we don't get off to the first image or video we see, we create a pathway to the conclusion.

so maybe your bf imagines if things ever went bad he'd use some money to travel and meet new chicks. but that doesn't mean he hopes for anyhting to go back between you two. this here is also like how middle-aged women (as an example...) go out in public and cat call younger men, even though they would never leave their husbands. they just see this as still on the spectrum of innocence.

you could bring it up if you are in the right. like if it's in the search history and it came to your concern. but if you like snuck on his phone or computer and then call him out on it, that then makes you no better than him pertaining to the situation. just be cool and bring it up if you feel it. or not.

>>18316278
Hell, I would so truly love to meet you in person one day..

And you aren't a native speaker? girl, I was absolutely certain you are! I guess you are just really good when it comes to learning stuff.

>>18315518
2 answers.

yes but it will become about that to an extent. casually bring it up and be honest about how you feel. if it's a problem right now then back off. don't half-ass commit and hope you eventually come to an agreement with her reasoning for dating multiple people at once.

no but don't worry about it. let her know that you are cool with seeing other people and what you are about.

>>18316291
Haha, to be honest, although the idea is intriguing I would feel really awkward to meet someone who already knows all this shit about me. That's also a huge part of what I like on here, that people aren't trying to save face. As a woman the whole of 4chan is also already an opposite sex thoughts paradise.

Nope, it's late here and I tend to get sloppier with wording if I write a lot and am not fully energized anymore so I figured perhaps I fucked up weirdly somewhere. Again it's all in the attention :) (kind of feeling like a missionary now, but seriously) I never would've gotten it down if I didn't actively took note of how different sentences were structured, what synonyms were used in which specific contexts (to develop intuition for their more subtle nuances) and so on.

>>18316311
>didn't actively took note
Way to prove my own point about not being flawless... but there's more time!

Either way I'm heading to bed, I hope my advice serves you well and that you get many opportunities to experiment for yourself! It's the best once you have a level of understanding where you can get creative and tweak everything about your approach according to the setting, the person involved and more. Cheers!

>>18316318
Cheers. Sleep well, girl. I hope you find a man to fulfill all of your desires one day.

>>18313464
Girls that are truly attracted to me also neck pleasuring

>>18313176
>BA Geography 2014
>tfw BA Geography 2016 and Masters in GIS 2018

What do you do? I'm in WA