Addictions [reupload]

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To get to the point, Iam addicted to weird fetish porn and a kind of music that artificially stimulates parts of my brain that have, well, more than just a pleasuring effect. Before anyone tries to track me down, I am not breaking any laws with these addictions. I am, however, led to believe that these addictions have taken so much of my mind that I am growing more mentally ill as a result of my consistent exposure, with symptoms including paranoia;headaches;stressful, uncontrolled, and depressive thoughts (including suicidal tendencies);and emotions and spending prolonged periods seclusion. Also, I feel normal side effects of these addictions, including weird penis behavior, having my mind filled with weird imagery whenever i see someone particularly provocative, and generally having my free time consumed by them. I do not know for certain that these addictions are causing so many of my problems, but I want to feel safe by removing them from my life. Also, I spend way too long fapping and listening to music, and I feel like I should use that time being more productive. In any case, I have managed to achieve periods as long as months abstaining from my weird porn and music. However, whenever I try to abstain, I can only go so far until I relapse. Also, I cannot simply avoid everything, as I often hear music in other tasks that I perform or see any non-ugly female in public (with that term being broad for my young and easily stimulated hormones, so way too freaking much, and as much as a heel in a flat getting me stimmed). I have, at this point, considered wiring machines to myself that inflict pain whenever I press a certain button or switch, and using said button or switch whenever I find myself enjoying things that I should not. Before I do, I want anything easier or less masochistic, since I feel that the stress on me may have its own tolls on my physical, psychological, or emotional well-being. Thank you. Also, I am not trolling. I am 100% honest and serious.