Learning how to talk to people

i feel you, op. bump4interest

>>18308875
90% of conversations aren't deep and aren't meant to be deep. Just as monkeys sit around grooming each other's fur just as an excuse for being together and signalling friendship, most small talk isn't really about the subject, but just an excuse to be together and signal friendship.

So any participation, even no more than the occasional "Yeah" is establishing your part in the group and part of the bonding.

Actual serious deep conversations do happen, but they arise naturally when those involved feel deeply about the subject.

>>18309022
I can't even make small talk, let alone meaningful conversation.

>>18309051
>So any participation, even no more than the occasional "Yeah" is establishing your part in the group and part of the bonding.

>>18309075
So I just "yeah" at people until they dig me?

>>18309080
Sure. Interject occasionally when you do have something to say. People enjoy having someone listen to them

>>18309118
What social media? My chats are barren.

>>18309224
*what about

>>18309224
want to know this too

>>18308875
I've been thinking about conversation and how to do it. Personally I've had a little problem with this before and overcame it naturally so I can try and give you my perspective.

Firstly what should be obvious and what I noticed is that a big part of conversing is confidence and body language. This is the basis and if you aren't comfortable or confident around someone you'll have trouble finding things to say, which is often sometimes okay.
You don't need to act like a super chad, but you will need to try not to seem awkward. Of course if you don't really have anything to say it's going to be VERY awkward, unless you and the person you are talking to are so comfortable near each other, that you can stay in silence without any trouble. To not be awkward, or to be confident means having a steady pose, speaking clearly and without fear of judgement or just keeping a regular look on your face (steady and neutral/happy/angry/whatever you normally look like).
I suppose you already realize this and want to know more about talking itself.

Remember that the basis of a conversation is opinion. You state your opinion, expect someone's opinion back and respond with your opinion again (or wait as someone else adds theirs), mostly connecting to a certain thing they said.

Then comes the problem of having things to say. This connects to the confidence part. If you're not comfortable near someone you will have trouble speaking, because you don't know what to expect from them, what you can say and what you can't say. If you already know them then it's only about giving them your opinion on things.
Watch your surroundings, form opinions, point out funny/weird/interesting things that you see/experience.
Saying the occasional "Yeah" as the poster before me said is a nice start but to develop a conversation you need to feel with the other person. I'll give you a simple example about weather. (cont.)

>>18309351
(cont.)

>Mmm, it's so beautiful outside today, isn't it?
>Yeah, I wish it was like this more often. The constant clouds and wind are killing my mood.
>Oh yeah exactly. But today I woke up and the weather actually made me happy.

>>18309357
Great explanation but then we get to the problems specific to me, one of which being I'm not that good at improvising, which also makes me terrible at comebacks. I just stutter and fuck up if I don't have am answer ready.

honestly dude it becomes pretty easy, just keep asking questions about literally whatever. thats the secret just ask questions and theyll reply, i was worse off than you i would refuse to go outside cuz i was so afraid to go outside cuz id be so anxious because id be held accountable for the smallest word i say but in reality what you say doesnt matter and deep conversations only happen when you know the person for a long time or are really close. people are just like you, closed up they wont open up and you can only infiltrate if you start small and weave into and past the surface personality which is revealed with small talk, when something deeper emerges you can talk about it and bam you can have a deep convo, but questions and seeming like you are interested id the key to conversation. people, especially normies, love talking about themselves, they will not notice you are just asking questions theyll be talking and talking

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most women i find are vapid cunts and not any fun to talk to. seriously, the things they want to talk about are stupid, immature, and inconsequential. guys on the other hand i can always find some common ground with, and a lot of times we'll share some interest and could talk for an hour like it's nothing. what do /adv/?

>>18309022
I'm not OP, it is there a way to tactfully speed up the process of bonding and trust? Im the outsider of a large circle of people, and I particularly want to bond with a certain individual within it without it taking a year or so. Friendship or relationship, I'll take either.

>>18311473
read the book how to win friends and influence people by dale carnegie

>>18311432
You're talking to vapid cunts. just find better people to talk to. Worst case scenario become a fag.

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>>18308875
Tell me OP, is this caused by social anxiety, nervousness, or what?

There's no way anyone can be THAT boring.