was my family life fucked up?

cont
My mom in general would kick my sister and I out (when we were like 10 and 12) at night if we acted out in nothing but our nightgowns. When we talked back she would threaten to contact child services and place us into foster care.

My mom tried to have my sister and I repeat grades even if teachers suggested we move on because she just felt we were not mature enough to go ahead. Fast forward a few years later and she tried to tell me I wasn't smart enough to go to college and so when I suggested the military and got a recruiter she would answer my phone, pretend to be me, and say I'm not interested and hang up.

I also feel like my parents made my sister and I out to be sexual objects more than people. No, they didn't sexually abuse us, but my dad would often make crass jokes and mom would tell us every single day what older men would like to do with us. I know it's important to teach your kids to be cautious, but imagine getting a rape talk everyday, and it was more for the shock factor.

I think it also made me pretty anti-social too. When I was in middle school and had a friend that I always hung out with, my mom would be very invasive and want to know everything, and when she was mad she called the girl my "indian girlfriend" and said I was a lesbian, etc.

Okay so now I'm 21 and only recently moved out. I'm living with a 37 year old guy and in general am attracted to older guys. I can't tell if thats because of my family or just normal preferences that everyone has?


I'm not trying to play the victim and I know that not everyone has a peaches and cream kinda family, but I'm just confused now. But I know for sure I'm not totally normal. I'm very clingy with older men but with everyone else I'm detached and am told that I come off as cold. I can't even hold eye contact.

I just need assurance??

>>18308798
Yes, your family was fucked. Sorry you had to deal with that OP.
But living with a 37 year old isn't exactly normal, far from it.

>>18308798
Yes, you had an abused childhood.
Yes, it affected you as an adult
Yes, your choice of an older man probably is a symptom, though it is not necessarily terrible.
Yes, you would benefit from counselling, where a trained professional could deal with the specifics of your story and guide you to understanding how they affected you and how to fix what's bad.

But you know all that. The question is whether you will have the motivation and courage to bother

Yea pretty messed up.
I can relate.

My parents adopted me as an only child then had a crazy messy divorce and guess who got the blame for everything? Me.
I found out my dad is basically addicted to escorts and once the divorce happened he really didn't care to spend money doing anything extra for me because he had more important things in life. I cut myself and they didn't care at all or try to stop it. In fact, laughed at me. And still do.

adopted father has major issues from prostitutes to overeating and being fat as hell to just being a total weirdo and socially akward. He has this weird long term relationship with some skinny chick who he takes on a lot of vacations. He raised me to not trust men at all and mom raised me to think women are jealous, hysterical, hateful cunts.

Got into an PhD program. Was thinking about living a full sexually alt lifestyle as a slave. Ran into a townie 3 years older than me in a park. Also messed up life only child drug problems. We fell in love and had a rocky but passionate and enduring relationship

Everything worked out and I got the degree, and I have a job. I'm married and have 2 kids.

Can see how incredibly messed up my own upbringing was, in part because I was adopted and I don't think my parents ever had that real true love a biological parent feels.

If my child ever hurt herself I would do everything to stop it and get her help. I would never laugh and let her keep going. I would also never raise her to
Think women are just holes to be fucked and it's cool to cheat
On your spouse with prostitutes.

I wish I had been loved and respected but I didn't get that. But I have been through LOTS of counseling. It def helps.

Lots of men will try to take advantage of you because they can smell your weakness. Find that true love Bc love CAN heal. I still resist it because it takes away all my excuses. But there is someone out there that will
Love you for everything and won't see you as damaged good.

>>18308798
No it was not normal